CIGARETTES & DIOR 𝙸𝙸𝙸

♥♥♥

T4T.

pairing: trans!eddie munson x transmasc! reader

type: fluff <3

cw: nothing (:

other: some eddie t4t hcs while I work on requests

# met during pre-T

# supportive wayne bro, helped him come up with a name

# sweetest bby

# you take your T shots together <3

# wayne taught him how to shave. he prefers a smooth face and finds the facial hair too itchy

# loves when you look after his scars and make sure that they heal right

# before surgery you had to remind him a lot to bind properly, a lot of the time he would forget because of his campaigns or whatever else was going on in his life

# you had to tell his ass to stay in bed after surgery

# he was extremely mopey because he had to stop taking T postop, so you'd remind him how handsome he is. you just lay in bed with him and whisper sweet nothings in his ear to get him through it

# adores the fact you took care of him during his recovery, so he did the same. never leaves your side after surgery

# if he's feeling dysphoric you drop whatever it is you're doing to comfort him. even if it's important. you'll call him at any hour and tell him you're coming over, and smother him in love

# if you feel dysphoric he tries his best to distract you, mostly by playing his guitar or pampering you

# not many people know that you two are trans. mostly close friends and family for obvious reasons. eddie does like showing off his scars though, so maybe the occasional people know

# he was picked on a lot (before taking T and getting top surgery), so he got called a faggot or a sissy. a lot of people mistook it for him not going through puberty

# style his hair for him <333

# he gets excited whenever bottom growth happens so expect a lot of excited screaming

# sock packers (:

# he gets so happy when you call him handsome (:

masterlist.

don't use "ftm" it's outdated and offensive. it implies that the trans person was their agab, which we never were. i was always a boy, never a girl who became a boy.

i'm 35 years old. i've been IDing as trans or something similar to trans for nearly 20 years. i was probably calling myself FTM while you were playing tag during recess, anon.

i WAS a girl. i IDed as a girl early in my life. i recognized myself as a girl, called myself a girl, lived as a girl, and was a girl. who then IDed as a man. hence, F t M.

spend more time worrying about yourself instead of strangers on the internet, anon.

sorry not sorry if this comes off as needlessly hostile, but i've been getting a lot of shit from a lot of teenage trans kids about the language i use to describe my own goddamn experience, and i'm growing real fuckin weary of it.

i have elder trans friends who call themselves transsexuals and transvestites and trannies. are you going to seriously go to a 60-year-old trans person who survived the reagan years and tell her she's not allowed to use certain language to describe herself because it might offend the delicate sensibilities of some teenager on the internet?

do yourself a favor and log off, find some real-life trans people who are over the age of 20 or 25, and spend time talking to them instead of getting all holier-than-thou at random strangers on tumblr.

hello!! for the mini fic asks I would like to request D) subtle kindnesses, Roy siblings (any dynamic of your choosing!) <3

Hello! LOOK, this is neither a mini fic, nor probably what you wanted, haha, but I hope you like it regardless. <3

-

“Can I take your bag, sir?”

It takes Connor a minute to place the voice, to find the source among the crowd of staff lurking inside the doorway and briefly, he wonders if he’s come in the servants’ entrance, which - - jeez, wouldn’t that be embarrassing? Worse than the time he used the dessert spoon instead of the soup spoon at the Carnegie Weill Gala, or maybe not, given at least the only witnesses here would be the help, but then he casts his gaze up to the oakwood staircase, the gold-dipped chandelier, the ornately framed portrait of Caroline’s grandfather, and - -

Yeah.

Okay.

Not the servants’ entrance.

He hasn’t spent that much time at this particular house – one of the older Collingwood estates, and well out of London, located low on the rolling Cornish Coast – and honestly, he’d spent his last stay here drunk enough on the wine Caroline’s brother had brought up from Veneto that he’s not sure he remembers much beyond the bathroom anyway.

The thought makes Connor pick his duffel up off the floor, take a breath, inhaling the pungent smell of camphorwood and a log fire, somewhere in a room nearby, and, weirdly enough, the slightly saccharine scent of vanilla. 

“All good, señor, I’m gonna keep this one on me,” Connor says, stepping out of the way as one of the staff scrubbing at the floor inches closer to his shoes. “Trust me, I know how good the little hands in this house are at getting into things they shouldn’t.”

The butler gives him a strained smile at that, and Connor can’t help but laugh, even as two of the maids flutter past, one carrying a fax machine, the other rolls of paper, which feels - - positive? Maybe? He watches them disappear down the passage, chest oddly tight, and clears his throat, glances up, around, at the high arched ceiling, across the staircase, searching for anyone who isn’t getting a paycheck. Finally, he figures he just may as well ask it.

“Uh, is my dad - - ”

“Connor! You’ve made it!”

It’s Caroline’s voice, bright and loud, that bounces around the foyer, and Connor barely gets a glimpse of dark hair and narrow shoulders, a black draped gown like a Dickensian widow’s, before his throat dries and he bows his head like he did as a boy in Caroline’s ever simmering presence. He adjusts his bag strap, huffs a little at himself, reminds himself he’s not fifteen anymore, before forcing himself to look up as Caroline materialises at his side in a puff of tobacco and cinnamon-infused perfume.

She offers her cheek, and without a thought, he leans in to kiss it.

“Long flight, I imagine,” she says. “Do you want a drink?”

Connor blinks in surprise, glancing sideways at the grandfather clock down the hall, barely having struck midday, and says:

“Isn’t it a little early?”

“Surely you’re still on American time,” she grins, waspish, tilting her head as she steps over one of the floor cleaners and starts down the hall, as clear an instruction as any to follow her. “And a good host couldn’t let you drink alone.”

Stay Soft, Get Eaten 5k words. Succession gen fic. Set in 1987.

Send me mini fic prompts

Connor Roy attending each of his siblings graduation and screaming "THAT'S MY BROTHER/SISTER!" and applauding the loudest. Proud dad photographs after.

Him with the biggest proudest smile with his left arm around their shoulder - Ken with a small smile with his right arm around Connor - Roman looking amused but happy at the same time at Connor - Siobhan leaning her head towards Connor and grinning.

Logan Roy not attending because of "important business"

I think that destroying all van Gogh paintings and other things that rich people value would be a great act.

CIGARETTES & DIOR 4

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note: for anyone who's read the previous 3 chapters before chapter 4 was released, I'm currently rewriting them so some time this week they'll be updated!

beta read by the darling @raelwrites

—enemies (?) steve harrington X reader, follows along with 'the bathtub'

[#: @fixtionlover + anyone else who'd like to be tagged let me know]

 It only took a handful of minutes for Joyce Byers to show up. Though you’re not surprised. If you found out your child was at the police station, was arrested, you were sure you would be arrested too with how fast you’d drive.

 During those minutes, you stared at Nancy and Jonathan. You couldn’t help but entertain the ideas brewing in your head.

 But what if there was something going on between the pair. I mean, one look at them now and you’d figure they’d been together for months if you didn’t know better.

 Maybe you didn’t know better. If Steve was so panicked he’d come to you... well. But the more you think, the more you realise you’d been around the two most all times they had interacted, to your knowledge at least. If anything was going on, surely, you’d have noticed, right?

 Joyce knocks you out of your head when she arrives. “Hey. Jonathan? Jesus, what… what happened? Why is he wearing handcuffs?”

 “Well, your boy assaulted a police officer. That’s why,” One of the officers answered.

 Joyce wasn’t happy. “Take them off.”

 “I am afraid I cannot do that.”

 Joyce wasn’t happy at all. “Take them off!”

 “You heard her. Take ‘em off.” Hopper backs Joyce. You muffle a laugh. You’re pretty sure you’d find this exact dialogue in a shitty porno.

 “Chief, I get that everyone’s emotional here, but there’s something you need to see.” That doesn’t set you on edge, not at all.

 The box that the officers deposit on the desk 5 minutes later does, however. The rattle of ammo boxes, a gun, a fucking bear trap.

 “What is this?” Joyce questions, disbelief in her voice, as she sifts through the contents.

 “Why don’t you ask your son? We found it in his car.” Hopper replies, walking closer to the desk. You look over at Nancy with a confused furrow to your brow. She looks away.

 “Why are you going through my car?” Jonathan accuses.

Hopper leans over to stare at Jonathan directly. “Is that really the question you should be asking right now?” he moves back. “I wanna see you in my office.”

 “You won’t believe me.”

 “Why don’t you give me a try?”

 It seems, however, the other Hawkins residents had been going through similar frights as you had, because Hopper doesn’t even look that confused when he looks at the super-sized photograph of the monster.

 “You say blood draws this thing?”

 “We don’t know,” Jonathan replies.

 “It’s just a theory, Barb- she cut herself that night, we think she must’ve bled and attracted it,” Nancy continues, and you hadn’t heard about this theory before so you’re definitely missing something.

 Joyce throws Jonathan a look and the pair stand up. You quickly inhabit Jonathan’s abandoned seat next to Nancy.

You don’t even wait for the door to close behind Hopper before you ask, “Right. Fill me in, please? Because what’s up with that box o’ horrors back there?”

“When- when you were with Steve… me and Jonathan, we went into the woods…” She trails off, quiet, and you can feel your stomach twist.

 “Oh my god- are you okay? what happened? You should’ve come found me! or, like, called at least.”

 “Yeah- yeah, I am now… it’s alright. Jonathan took me home, I- sorry, that I didn’t call. Jonathan- we…” When Nancy pauses, your throat tightens. That was when Steve saw them together, wasn’t it?

 “You, you didn’t… like, get with him, did you? You had all night to ring, you know.”

 “What? No! no, no, no…-” Nancy grabs your hands. “I just, well, I- I saw… it, that, that thing- the monster in the photo.” She’s whispering now, voice shaking along with her hands.

 “And- and you’re okay now?”

 “I think so… Jonathan- he, he stayed with me, made sure I was ok. It just- calling you just slipped my mind, I’m sorry.” Your stomach drops a little.

 You pull her into a hug. “It’s okay, ‘m glad you’re ok, at least. It’s okay.” You whisper into her hair.

 If you say it enough, it might even come true.

 Nancy just holds on tighter.

 When Hopper fails to talk you into going home, unable to disagree with the fact that you’d already seen too much to not involve yourself, and when you follow Nancy into the backseat next to Jonathan, you had resigned yourself to the fate of never having a normal life again.

 Between interacting with Steve and coming out the other side unscathed and learning about government conspiracies and monsters in Hawkins, you’re not actually sure which surprises you more.

 “Do you have any idea where he might have gone to?” Hopper throws the question out, but you can barely keep track of where Nancy is these days, much less her kid brother.

 “No, I don’t.” Neither can Nancy, it seems.

 “I need you to think.”

 “I don’t know. We haven’t talked a lot. I mean, lately…”

 Joyce tries this time, attempts to prompt Nancy, “Is there any place that your… your parents don’t know about that he might go?”

 Again, Nancy can’t answer.

 You’re glad that your family isn’t as active in your life as other people’s are. The constant fear that something might happen to your friends is enough to have you on edge. If you had to factor in family? Unimaginable.

 “I might,” Jonathan says, “I don’t know where he is, but I think I know how to ask him.”

 “And how’d you figure that?” you ask.

 “Walkie-talkies. Will had one. I can bet Mike has his with him too, wherever he is.”

 Hopper pulls up to the Byers’ residence and before the car can even come to a full stop, Nancy and Jonathan have already hopped out. You stumble along with them and almost trip over your feet when you walk through the front door.

 Furniture askew, books everywhere, lights hanging like vines.

 “Don’t you think it’s a little early for christmas décor, guys?”

 Nancy elbows you but she looks just as surprised.

 When the group piles into Will’s room, you’re greeted by even more lamps and general disorder. Somehow, Joyce manages to find the walkie-talkie.

Nancy takes it from her instantly, sitting on the bed next to Joyce and turning the walkie on. “Mike, are you there? Mike? Mike, it’s me, Nancy.”

 Static. You hold your breath.

 “Mike, are you there? Answer. Mike, we need you to answer. This is an emergency, Mike. Do you copy? I need you to answer.”

 Static. You gnaw at your lip.

 “We need to know that you’re there, Mike.”

Static. You clench your eyes shut.

 Hopper grabs the walkie from Nance. “Listen, kid, this is the chief. If you’re there, pick up.”

 Static. Your hands shake.

 “We know you’re in trouble and we know about the girl. We can protect you; we can help you, but you gotta pick up. Are you there? Do you copy? Over.”

 Static. Your heart sinks.

 “Yeah, I copy.” The voice of Mike Wheeler cuts through the static. “It’s Mike. I’m here. We’re here.”

  You relax into the wall, boneless in relief.

 “What’s taking so long?” you break the silence. “They should be back by now, right?” your leg bounces. It was night, Hopper had left with the daylight.

 Suddenly, car lights flood the driveway and tires crackle on the gravel.

 The four of you pile outside after a beat, and Nancy jogs to hug her brother. “Mike. Oh, my god. Mike!” he stands, a little perplexed. “I was so worried about you.”

 “Yeah, uh… me, too,” Mike says, though it’s not very convincing.

 “Is that my dress?” When Nancy asks, you take in the remaining faces. Lucas and Dustin, obviously. But the girl you don’t recognise. She must be who everyone kept referring to, then.

 When everyone is seated at the table and introduced to each other, Mike starts to draw on a sheet of paper.

 “Okay, so, in this example, we’re the acrobat. Will and Barbara, and that monster, they’re this flea. And this is the upside down, where will is hiding.” He flips the paper so that everyone can see. “Mr. Clarke said the only way to get there is through a rip of time and space.”

 “A gate.” Dustin elaborates.

 “That we tracked to Hawkins lab.” Lucas continues.

 “With our compasses.” When Dusting is met with blank faces, he explains, “okay, so the gate has a really strong electromagnetic field. And that can change the direction of a compass needle.”

“Is this gate underground?” Hopper asks.

El answers, “Yes.” It’s the first time she’s spoken since arriving.

 “Near a large water tank?”

 “Yes.”

 You look over to Hopper, baffled. “How do you know all that?”

 “he’s seen it,” Mike answers.

 “I-is there any way that you could… that you could reach Will? That you could talk to him in this-” Joyce croaks out, and you can’t begin to imagine how tough it must be. To know Will is alive, but still be unable to reach him.

 “The upside down,” El finished.

 “Down, yeah.”

 El nods.

 “And- and Barb? Barbara, can you find her too?” Nancy asks.

 El smiles.

 Static. You stay silent, watchful.

 The lights flicker.

 El turns looks out at everyone, tears in her eyes. You bow your head.

 “I’m sorry.”

 The chair scrapes obnoxiously when you stand.

 Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

 “W-what’s wrong? What hap- what happened?” Joyce asks.

 “I can’t find them.” El starts to cry, and you can feel your own eyes water.

 “So that’s it then, huh?” You sniffle, “nothing else we can do?” your eyes follow El as she’s shown the bathroom.

 “Uh- well-” Mike calls your name, draws your attention, “not exactly. Whenever she uses her powers, she gets weak.”

 “The more energy she uses, the more tired she gets,” Dustin continues.

 “Like, she flipped the van earlier,” Lucas says.

 “It was awesome.”

 “But she’s drained,” Mike explains.

 “Like a bad battery,” Lucas adds.

 “Is there no way to recharge that battery?” you ask.

 “No, we just have to wait and try again,” Mike answers.

 “Well, how long?” Nancy asks before you can.

 “I don’t know.”

“The bath,” El says, making both you and Joyce jump at her quiet appearance. “I can find them. In the bath.”

 Sometimes, you were glad for the involvement of police. With the speed that the car was going to reach Hawkins Middle School, you were sure had any cops caught you, you would’ve been pulled over.

 Having Hopper around made breaking laws quite fun.

 You were divided into little groups, each having a different task. Hopper and Jonathan went to get the salt; Mike, and Nancy the hose pipes; Joyce was with El getting her ready, and you were hauling a heavy tied up swimming pool across the floor of the gym with Dustin and Lucas.

 When you had managed to roll the pool to the centre of the court, you went about untying it and spreading it out.

 “Come on. it’s upside down,” Dustin says. You laugh, otherwise you might cry again.

 “No, this way.” Lucas twist and unravels his side of the pool.

 “How does this even work?”

 “Try that side.”

 “Son of a bitch.”

“Hey!” you exclaim, whirling around to face Dustin, “watch the language, teeny bopper. You’re like 10, how do you even know that?”

 “I’m 12!”

 “Try that side.” Lucas interrupts your argument. “Pull it back. Pull it back.”

 “I am!”

 “One, two, three.” At three, you let go of the pool sides and the thing collapses.

 “Shit!” both you and Dusting shout. You say nothing about that.

 “I’m guessing it’ll stay up when filled, right?” you tank on the pool sides once more. “I mean, it’s- it’s gotta. If this doesn’t work…” you trail off, huffing when the pool once again collapses in on itself. “There’s always the actual swimming pool,” you mutter dejectedly.

 You three go back to spreading the pool, lifting the sides, hoping.

 “Aha! We did it- step back, step back,” Dustin calls, and the doors open to Nancy and Mike wheeling in the hose pipes, followed by Hopper and Jonathan with the salt, and Joyce with El.

 You move over to Dustin as Mike drops two ends of hose into the pool, and as water starts pouring in, you clap Dustin on the back lightly. “You’re a genius.”

 “Thanks -,” he says your name, “but without Mr. Clarke, we wouldn’t have known how to do any of this.”

 You grin. “But without your idea we would still be at the Byers’, grasping at straws.

 Dustin grins back.

 “Colder!” Lucas shouts, holding the thermometer in the steadily rising water. “Warmer!” he shouts again. “Right there!” and the water stops.

 Once the temperature was fixed, Hopper and Jonathan begin to cut open the bags of de-icing salt, pouring them one by one into the pool.

 “How much was it we needed?” you ask Dustin.

 “Hold on,” Dustin says, crouching to open the carton of eggs by his side. When he places one in the water and it sinks, he calls out, “’Till the egg floats.”

 With that, you walk over to the bags and grab one, tearing it open with the knife Hopper passes you over the pool, throwing the empty bag into the pile.

 When you look over at Dusting and see that the egg he placed in the water bobbed on the surface of the pool, you drop the salt bag you had picked up with a sigh of relief.

 The walkie-talkie is set up on the trolley.

 Static.

 El takes her socks off and Joyce hands her duct taped goggles, guiding the girl into the pool when she puts them on.

 Almost the second she lays down and floats, the lights in the hall begin to flicker and then go out.

 El’s breathing starts to quicken, and the lights flicker once again.

 “What’s going on?” Nancy whispers, looking around.

 “I don’t know,” Mike answers.

 “Is Barb, ok?” You ask, “is she ok?” you tighten your hold on Dustin’s shoulder, hands shaking.

 “Gone. Gone. Gone.” El repeats. You’re frozen still.

 Joyce attempts to comfort her but she continues to repeat ‘gone’. With every agonising repetition of the word, you can feel your face slacken more, shoulders drop, hands quiver.

 “Will?” El asks, and you can only just hear her. Joyce’s words don’t register through the buzzing in your ears.

 “Hurry.” Comes from the walkie-talkie.

 El sits up in a panic. Everyone jumps back, and you quickly remove your grip from Dustin’s shoulder when the boy moves.

 “I’ve got you,” Joyce comforts El, hugging her into her chest. “It’s okay. I got you. I got you. I got you, honey. You did so good.” You sort of feel like you might need a Joyce hug next.

 You don’t get a hug.

 After a moment of reconciliation and sharing of information, you follow Nancy to the far wall. Reclining on the cold bench by the mural, counting the blemishes in the ceiling as you wrap your mind around what you witnessed. Nancy sits by your feet.

 When the door slams, you startle and look over to see Jonathan coming closer. He sits next to Nancy. You look back to the ceiling.

 “We have to go bath to the station.” You hear Nancy say. “Your mom and Hopper are just walking in there like bait. That thing is still in there. And we can’t just sit here and let it get them, too. We can’t.”

 “You still wanna try it out?” Jonathan asks.

 “I wanna finish what we started. I want to kill it.”

Connor sitting on the plushsofa in one of the smaller livingrooms of the estate enjoying a hot cup of tea and a rare moment of silence when a 14 y.o Kendall, 11 y.o Roman and 8 y.o Siobhan (age heacanon from me idk open to other ideas!) come barging in, kendall slapping adoption papers on the coffee table "You're our dad now, bitch"

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

above average. (4/?)

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie munson desperately needs to graduate this year, and you're the only tutor that hasn't turned him down. (this is part 4 in this series. I have no idea how to add links to the other parts, someone pls teach me)

warnings: cursing, fighting, mentions of drugs, jason carver being a shithead, slightly sexual (minors dni pls), angst, eddie being a meanie (he would never)

a/n: I would like to formally apologize if this breaks your heart or makes you cry. you're welcome to yell at me in my messages. I promise the next part will be nicer! (and ~spicy~ wink wink) thank you all so much for all your sweet words of encouragement on the first parts! as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated! please let me know if you would like to be tagged!

tags: @uraveragequeerqueer @rosaline-black @willowss055 @lovsersclub @bellegirl16

The door to my locker was slammed shut with a clamorous bang, causing me to squeal loudly and jump nearly two feet into the air. I clutched at my chest, trying to steady my breathing and preparing to hurl insults at whatever jackass had sent me into cardiac arrest when I was met with the sight of none other than Eddie Munson himself, beaming down at me with a mischievous grin. 

“Eddie! What the-”

“I’m above average.”

A crease formed at the center of my forehead, my brows crinkling as I stared up at him in confusion. I had gotten to know Eddie pretty well over the past month that I had been tutoring him, but I was still struggling to learn his language. I often had to enlist one of the boys to help me translate his “Eddie-isms”.

“Huh?”

Eddie retrieved the crumpled piece of paper that was trapped between the door to my locker and his large hand, shoving it directly in front of my face. It took a minute to register that it was an extra credit quiz Mrs. O’Donnell had given him on Monday. She had agreed to give him extra credit assignments to help him pass as long as he kept up with our tutoring sessions. She really wanted him out of her classroom. I was almost certain that if Eddie was going to repeat his senior year a third time, she was going into early retirement.

I was drawn to the bold, red ink scrawled at the corner of the paper that read ‘C+’. My eyes shifted swiftly between a grinning Eddie and the indeed above average grade at the corner of the page.

“Oh my god..Eddie! You passed! All on your own!”

Here’s the thing most people did not understand about Eddie Munson: he was not stupid. He was in fact very smart. He simply wasn’t engaged in any of his classes. To be fair, none of them were exactly riveting, and neither were the teachers. If there’s anything I’ve learned from tutoring, it’s that a good teacher can make all the difference when it comes to comprehension. 

Eddie's interest was not easily captured by less than thrilling subjects, and he had a hard time sitting still. Eddie was a creative person. He wrote incredible pieces of music and created elaborate campaigns for his club. He thrived the most when he was able to use his creative side on the task at hand, but when he really focused his attention and applied himself, Eddie could do anything.

He slapped his large hands against the metal of the locker doors, as if imitating a drum roll, and pumped his fists into the air triumphantly.

“Fuck yeah I did!”

Eddie’s strong arms suddenly wrapped around my waist, lifting me into the air and hugging me tightly against his strong chest as he twirled me around in a victory lap. I gripped onto the denim that covered his shoulders with a squeak, hanging on for dear life. My face flamed promptly from the closeness, and the judgemental stares of everyone around us. I could feel the warmth of his body against the thin material of my dress, feeling immensely grateful I had chosen to wear tights today. I was overcome with wonder of what his bare skin would feel like under my fingertips.

“Eddie! Put me down!”

“Not until you say I’m above average!”

My authoritative tone was lost throughout my fit of giggles. Eddie’s unruly curls seemed to twirl along with us as he continued to move our bodies together in a giant circle. As much as I didn’t want him to let go, I did want everyone to stop staring.

“Okay, okay! You’re above average!”

True to his word, Eddie quickly set me down on my feet, not bothering to take a step back. He leaned against my locker with a grin that stretched across his entire face, causing deep dimples to indent his smooth cheeks. I loved this smile. I loved his dimples. I loved the twinkle of happiness that was shining in his eyes. My chest constricted with complete adoration for the boy in front of me. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, I had gone from only knowing of Eddie Munson through whispers and rumors, to falling ridiculously, helplessly, and irrevocably hard for him. Like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and praying to whoever would listen there’s a soft landing, hard.

I wasn’t even sure how it had happened. That first day in the tutoring center, he sparked something within me, something I didn’t even know was there. A simple ember of a crush started to burn, and every minute I spent with him, the flames grew higher and higher and eventually exploded into a blaze that I didn’t even think God herself could put out.

I was completely enamored with Eddie Munson. I didn’t even know I could feel this way about a person. I like to think of myself as a realistic and reasonable person, but there were nights I contemplated if I really was under some kind of spell. Maybe Eddie really did know black magic. I’d had a somewhat “serious” boyfriend before, but it never felt like this. The logical part of my brain desperately tried to make sense of what was happening to my heart, and between my thighs.

Thoughts of him created a dull ache that I couldn’t will away. Everytime he spoke, my eyes fixated on his plump lips, craving the feeling of them against my own. On my skin. Anywhere he wanted them. I followed his hands as they danced in conversation, imagining how much better they would feel than my own. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had touched myself more than once to fantasies of Eddie Munson. The desire he created within me could not be ignored. It conjured sinful visions of him in my dreams, waking me out of a dead sleep covered in sweat, my body feeling as if it was on fire. I craved his touch, more than anything. I wanted to be twisted up in my bed sheets with more than just the ghost of him. I wanted the real thing.

“I’m so proud of you, Eddie.”

There was a light shade of pink that coated the tops of his cheeks, dipping his head for a moment before he met my gaze again with a tender smile on his lips.

“It’s all because of you, you know?”

“You did it all on your own, Eddie. You should be proud.”

“Well I have even more to be proud of, because I did the impossible.”

“Oh really? Do tell.”

“So, since I’ve been passing all my assignments and actually showing up to class and shit, I convinced Mrs. O’Donnell to let us cancel our session after school on Friday.”

“Oh. Um..well, that’s..” Awful. Horrible. Terrible. “That is an impressive feat. Um, that’s great Eddie. You uh, you deserve a break. You’ve been working really hard.”

“It’s actually a huge relief since I uh, gotta restock some..supplies.”

“For Hellfire?”

“Um..well..no. Not..exactly. It’s for my other..uh..extracurriculars.”

Eddie glanced anywhere but at me, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck. The action caused the bottom of his Hellfire shirt to raise up just slightly, granting me a perfect view of the dark patch of hair just above the handcuff buckle of his belt. Focus.

“Oh. Oh.”

A deep hue of scarlet took over my features when it finally clicked what Eddie was talking about. He’s talking about drugs, you idiot. I internally cringed at how sheltered he must think I was. I honestly often forgot that Eddie was a drug dealer. It wasn’t that I didn’t know about it, he dealt to a ton of people at school. It just never came up in conversation between us.

“Well uh..good luck?”

Eddie snickered as he looked down at me, tilting his head in a playful manner and crossing his arms across his chest. His eyebrows knit together in the center of his forehead.

“Thank you?”

I scrunched up my nose as I smiled shyly, nibbling on my bottom lip. Good luck? Seriously? That’s the best you could come up with?

“I..sorry. I’m not really sure what the proper etiquette is when it comes to..um..that. ‘Break a leg’ seemed a bit..much?” 

The smile on Eddie’s lips stretched into a grin that seemed to cover the entire lower half of his face, putting all of his teeth on display. My beloved dimples once appeared at the corners of his mouth. He shook his head slowly, clicking his tongue against his cheek.

“You are..incredibly adorable. You know that?”

My breath hitched in my throat and my knees suddenly felt like they were going to give out at any moment. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his lips. Say something. Say something. Say something!

“I..um..uh..well I guess I’ll..s-see you Monday then.”

I tightened my grip on the strap of my backpack, prepared to turn and bolt away as fast as I could before I dropped dead from embarrassment. Eddie, sensing my apprehension, quickly reached out to grab onto my shoulder with a laugh as I was about to make my getaway.

“Hey, wait! Listen I um..I..I wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh..okay. What is it?”

Eddie retracted his hand from my shoulder, twisting one of his large rings around his middle finger slowly. I had come to learn this was a nervous habit of his. What was he nervous about? Eddie averted his gaze down to his worn sneakers. A frown settled on my lips as I gently placed my hand on his wrist to get his attention.

“Eddie? What’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing, no nothing’s wrong. I just..well..since you don’t have to tutor me after school on Friday, and my uh..restock..won’t take very long..I was just..I was gonna ask..well I was wondering if you know..maybe..um..I was wondering if you would maybe want to-”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing freak?”

Any indication that Eddie was nervous completely vanished the second Jason Carver shoved his way in between us. The tender smile on his lips sank into a deep frown, his eyes narrowing down at the blonde as he stood up straight. He made Jason look small when he stood to his full height. It was no secret that Eddie and Jason absolutely hated each other. Jason was convinced that Eddie was some evil, devil worshiping, cultist that was a danger to all of Hawkins. Eddie hated Jason mainly because he hated him, but also because he was a narcissistic bully to anyone who dared to be different.

I couldn’t see over Jason’s shoulders. I attempted to force myself in between the two boys before an all out brawl ensued, but Jason shoved me forcefully back behind him, which only seemed to piss Eddie off even further. As he took a step closer, I gripped onto Jason’s arm to yank him back.

“Jason, stop! I’m tutoring him, you know that.”

“Just because you’re tutoring this freak doesn’t mean he should be touching you.”

“What can I say, I’m a hands-on learner.”

I tried to shoot Eddie a pleading glance, but his attention was solely focused on the jock in front of him. God Eddie, please shut up. Please for once, don’t be a smartass and just shut up. I should’ve known better. Eddie practically created the term “stubborn”.

“I’m going to tell you this one time, and one time only. Leave her alone, freak. Don’t talk to her. Don’t come near her. Don’t even look at her. This, is done. Walk away. Next time, there won’t be a warning.”

The hardness on Eddie’s features dissipated slowly, and a wicked smile grew over his face, covering his lips like ivy. There was a vexatious glint in his eye that made me nervous. Eddie clasped his hands together behind his back and gave a light shrug of his shoulders.

“Okay.”

A sharp gasp escaped my lips. I wasn’t expecting that answer, and clearly Jason wasn’t either. I snuck at glance up at him to see surprise written just as clearly over his features as it was on mine. The other three jocks that had formed a circle around us all exchanged their own looks of disbelief. 

“I’ll make you a deal, Carver. I’ll leave her alone..if..you can tell me her name.”

My eyes widened in shock at Eddie’s boldness and I was certain my jaw had hit the floor. Jason whipped his head down to stare at me incredulously, frantically searching my eyes as if they held the answer. For once, I was glad he didn’t know my name. I stared up at him innocently, as if I wasn’t in on the joke. His eyes darted over my face, my books, even my locker, looking for something, anything that would clue him in.

“Well? Go on. It’s a simple answer, really. I mean she’s only helped your dumbass what, seven times? Eight? Ten? Surely you know her name. You know, since you care so much. Surely you’re not the kind of asshole that uses people for your own personal gain without having the common decency to learn their fucking name.”

It all happened so fast. One second Jason was standing in front of me, the next he was lunging forward at Eddie with balled fists. Eddie managed to shove Jason roughly against the lockers before two of the jocks surged to pull him off. I didn’t know what to do. I was frozen in place with fear. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I took a step forward. I wasn’t sure what I was planning to do, but I was instantly tugged back by one of the jocks that had pulled me hard into his chest with one arm.

“Let go of me! Let go! Help! Someone please, help! Stop them!”

I tried my hardest to free myself from the boy’s strong grasp. I looked around at the crowd of students that had gathered around to watch the spectacle that was taking place. I screamed at them, pleading with them for help. I could hear punches being thrown and lockers being slammed. I was terrified to see who was on the receiving end.

“Carver! Munson! What the hell is going on?”

The sea of students parted instantly to let Mr. Scott through. The group of boys didn’t hesitate to pull apart and untangle themselves to meet the man’s pissed off gaze. Fuck..Eddie’s going to be expelled..and it’s all my fault.

I finally managed to break free from the boy’s iron grip, angrily pushing my way through the crowd of students and took off down the hallway. I slammed the door to the tutoring center shut behind me and leaned forward to grip onto one of the chairs. Hot tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and I threaded my fingers through the roots of my hair, tugging roughly.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Eddie was going to be expelled, and that thought made my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. It was all my fault. All his hard work, down the drain. He wasn’t going to graduate. I should have never agreed to tutor him. I should have never said yes. He’s going to hate me. I ruined everything. 

“Jesus, there you are! Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

Eddie cupped my cheeks in his large hands, tilting my head up so that he could frantically search my face for any sign of injury. His eyes were dark and wild, his usual untamed curls even more unruly framed against his face. I could see a faint bruise appearing on his left cheekbone. The sight at first made me want to cry, but it only fueled the anger I felt. I braced my palms against his chest and shoved him back with as much force as I could manage.

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“What?”

“I can’t believe you! Why did you have to do that? I..how could you be so stupid Eddie?”

His face was a mixture of shock and hurt. He blinked a few times as he stared at me in bewilderment.

“Wait a second, are you seriously mad at me right now for what happened back there?”

“Of course I’m mad, Eddie! I’m furious! Why would you do that? Why?”

“What the fuck was I supposed to do? Just stand there and let him be a complete asshole?”

“You were supposed to walk away!”

“Fuck that! I wasn’t about to just stand there and let him treat you like shit. He fucking pushed you, I had to do something!”

“I didn’t ask you to do that! God Eddie, you’re not my boyfriend, I don’t need you to defend me like that!”

I regret the words the second they left my mouth. I hated the way they tasted. They were bitter like vinegar and made my stomach twist into knots. Silence lingered heavily in the air. Eddie’s chest rose and fell quickly to keep up with his accelerated breathing. Anger still rolled off of him in waves. There was hurt in his eyes, but his face was stone cold. I had never seen him like this before, and I hated it. But mostly, I hated that he was looking at me like this. 

His beautiful features contorted into an expression of repulsion, and a dry, humorless laugh sounded from the back of his throat. The edge of his lips curled into a sneer as he took a step forward to stare down at me.

“Boyfriend? Are you fucking kidding me? I may be the freak of Hawkins, but I’m not that much of a freak that I would date the fucking tutor girl.”

Eddie’s venomous words rang loudly in my ears. I could feel my bottom lip beginning to quiver and in that moment I hated myself for looking so weak in front of him. As much as I willed myself not to cry in front of Eddie, I couldn’t stop the fresh wave of tears from washing over my cheeks. I took a step back from him, as if his words had physically slapped me, and clutched at my stomach.

Eddie clenched his jaw as he stared down at me, quickly looking away so that he didn’t have to see my face. He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip and shook his head quickly, beginning to back away towards the door.

“You know what, Y/L/N, I don’t think I need your services anymore. I can do this on my own. I don’t need you.”

Eddie slammed the door shut behind him, leaving me crumbling to the floor with a choked sob ripping through my chest. The pain was everywhere, all at once, and I didn’t know how to stop it. My body felt like it was made of lead, and I couldn’t move. I was stuck in the spot he broke me. I didn’t even care if anyone walked in and found me sprawled over the floor like a shattered piece of glass. How had things gone so unbelievably bad, so fast?

For the first time ever, I went home early. And I didn’t go back to school the day after that. Or the day after that.

Is there anything I can do to help Palestinians besides call my representatives and beg them to stop killing people?

This is a great question. There are a few things you can do—just off the top of my head:

BDS (Boycott, Divest, Sanction) https://bdsmovement.net/

Direct Action https://www.palestineaction.org/

Urge your University/School/Organization to put out a statement denouncing Israel

Organize a Protest/Participate in a local one

You might already be doing this but while calling your reps, tell them that as a voter, you're unwilling to support them in the upcoming election unless they urge the White House to take a stand against Israel and stop funding them

Share art/writing/films around Palestinian culture

If you're part of a union, ask them what they're doing to urge their industry leaders to take a stand against Israel + pressure the White House OR urge them to start a strike/walkout/etc if they're not doing anything already

Talk with your friends IRL about Palestine, whether in an activist capacity or watching a movie or literally anything

Reach out to a mosque to see if you can help them with anything

See if your city/state council has put out a statement in support of Gazans. If not, try to push them to do so.

Donate to Palestine Legal or Direct Action if you have some money to spare

KEEP TALKING ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know some of these don't feel like they have as big of an impact on helping Palestinians, but we do need to make an effort not to forget their humanity in the face of continued erasure and the media's sensationalist rhetoric.

Talking on social media and posting—while not seeming like a lot—does SO much. I know in USAmerica, it's like yelling into a void, but political analysts are saying that most of the "Global South" has completely lost any amount of goodwill it may have had the past few years. Hopefully, countries will start to put sanctions and embargoes en masse on the US and Israel soon.

Our goals here are BOTH short-term and long-term. We hope for the life and liberation of the Palestinian people, so anything that you can think of might help at some point in the future is encouraged to at least try.

If anyone else has any more ideas, feel free to reblog and add on. Thank you for asking, and here is to a liberated Palestine where Palestinians can live and thrive without fear.