I Just Went To Sweet Frogs And On The Way And My Family Was Discussing Politics And How America May Or

Me waking up this morning litterally bound to my bed b3cause of crippiling neck cramps and stiffness, resulting in ugly sobs, desperate screams, and frantic praying. Literally was so bad I couldn't face forward. Like I physically could not even put my head at a 3/4ths angle before I was subdued by overwhelming pain that even after going back to the position in which I was bound, would contiune to burn as if I had bitten into a battery. But with my neck.

Also me when I sleep:

Funny thing about this is I started praying and thanking God and then I was just like HAHAHAHAHAAHA JOKES ON YOU DEMON, PAIN ONLY BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE LORD. NOT TODAY SATAN while ugly sobbing and clutching my neck :>

The difference between sin and continuous sin

Two people were eating poison, and I came up to them giving them a warning. I say, "stop, do not eat that poison, fo you will surely die". One obeys and heads the warning, turning from the poison and throwing it away, while the other refuses and continues to eat it. The one who disobeyed dies and the other lives. This is like sin. All sins are forgivable for Christ, (except for blasphemy if the holy spirit as well as recieving the mark of the beast) so both had equal opportunity to live. But if you refuse to listen, you will surely fall.

This is the case with many things. Porn, cheating, murder, abuse, drinking, lying, sexual immorality, and yes, whether we like it or not, that includes LGBTQ+ activity. It is a choice made everyday and if continued until the day of judgement or, you know, when we die, it's too late as there was no repentance. But the one who sinned and turns from it with a watchful eye, no matter how many times they fall short, as long as they truthfully give it their all to turn from their sins and toward Jesus, they will be accepted into heaven.

So throw the posion out and be the one who lives

I love God. That's all I had to say :)

God has a purpose for you, bigger than yourself, bigger than you can imagine. David established his kingdom, yes, but his influence stretched much farther than Israel and much longer than his reign. Job perservered and proved his loyalty to God, yes, but he also taught as example to his friends, family, and us, generations after his story. There is no bounds to what God can do, all that is stopping you is yourself. Not even the enemy, demons, or satan himself could stop you if God has enabled you. You will lose many battles but the war has been won on the cross, so know that all the losses, sacrifices, and suffering that comes with this path is nothing compared to the victory of Jesus.

Christians will be persecuted. Always. But I just want to point out, that what used to be, and in some places still are, persecution, is different than the kind of persecution others will face. Crucification, execution, torture and death now turn into sarcastic jabs, angry yelling and hateful glares. Both are pretty scary, but think of what used to be the punishment compared to now. I am so guilty of this, as I am very shy and outspoken. I plan my entire conversation before even initiating it when I simply want to ask for a pencil. I count the amount of sniffles I have to make and panic at 5 because I feel like I'm disturbing people. I hate attention, I really do, especially bad attention. So I avoid talking about faith in public because of this unspoken rule in society that says religon is a forbidden topic. Let's all just be glad we aren't in a hydrolic press and that all we'll get is side glances

Just woke up thinking about this and I need tumblr to be my therapist for a second because I just need to explain my thoughts.

When I first watched BSD (Bungo Stray Dogs), I was ok with Ranpo. I didn't like nor dislike him until I saw his backstory. The story that made most fans cry made me feel so...unsettled. It was like looking in a mirror and it scared me.

I never believed in kinning before him. Relating to an anime character? A BSD one at that? I feel like people are just projecting because it's their favorite character. Those were my thoughts. But then I met Ranpo.

I understood him. I felt what that felt like when I saw his backstory. I felt like part of me was on the screen. For the first time ever, I felt truly related to someone on the screen. It scared me a lot. I kinned a person. RANPO AT THAT.

Actually seeing a part of me I activley try to ignore and deny was a slap to the face for me. It scared me. So for a while, I avoided him. I avoided media or fan content with him in it. Of course, he's in the show, so I can't avoid him forever though. I didn't like him because he scared me.

My entire life I felt like I couldn't connect with people. Not as in I couldn't be friends with anyone, though, that is also true. I didn't understand anyone around me. To me, I was a human. I was sentient, capable of complex thoughts, and I was able to lie and "control the 'people' around me". Looking back, that was a stupid sentiment.

I was human and everyone around me was an npc. That was pretty scary for me. I didn't understand the difference between us as a child. Though I knew that everyone around me was something other than me, I only saw me and them. And if I just said a simple hello, it could become us. I miss that.

When I met Ranpo on screen, it was the moment he said it was like they were all monsters that scared me. There was something he didn't have. Something he didn't understand. That's what he thought, but in reality, it's that he's the one who has something that everyone else doesn't.

For me, it truly was just something I didn't have. And for my whole life, I've been trying to figure it out. What makes them different from me? It didn't make any sense. Everyone understood something that I didn't. Everyone had this "rule" to being a human being that I didn't know about. And that was scary.

Dazai was a bit different for me. I loved him from day -30. Literally. I watched complimations of him being stupid months before I watched the show. Years even. I didn't kin him at all and he was just a silly but complicated guy for me. But then I noticed something after realizing I kinned Ranpo.

My whole life I felt that I was the only human and everyone around me was an npc. But really, it was more that everyone around me was a human and I was...something else. I didn't know what. But it wasn't human. I mean, obviously I am physically and in every scientific way, human, but there's something missing, y'know?

Thinking about it makes me feel so cringe but I really can't explain it any other way.

I don't consider myself a Dazai kinnie because even I can't completely understand the reason he thinks himself not human. I just related a small bit to the sentiment.

So as a um...thing hiding itself as a human, I felt exposed when I was confronted with Ranpo. I eventually came to terms with it and now I like Ranpo. Though he still unsettles me because of the similarity.

So yeah. That was my vent. :)

покажеш себя?

извините, но я не знаю, как говорить по-русски. Кроме того, я не знаю, правильно ли я понял, потому что во время этого общения я использовал Google Translate для чтения и письма, но вы просите меня показать мою настоящую фотографию? В этом случае ответ будет отрицательным.

I love God not because I want to avoid hell, which I do, but because He is so good to me. Not just because He gives me nice toys and protects me from darkness, but because He loves me. He loved me enough to make me, He loved me enough to keep me even when I left Him, He loved me enough to die and suffer in my place for my own actions, He loved me enough to restart all of creation and promise me a place in it, He loves me. And so I love Him

Here's how I know God is good:

I had to take the ACT today and everything just seemed to go wrong. I woke up with bad period cramps, so I was obviously going to get my period during the test, I forgot my ID at home and was going to be late, my parents got into another arguement and at this point I can't tell if they'll divorce or not, and even though I ate, I felt starving by the time I arrived. But it worked out even when I was freaking out. I was protected because I was able to recognize my period coming this morning, I got to school on time and apparently didn't even need my ID because my teacher happened to be nearby to identify me anyway, and I was hungry but my stomach didn't rumble at all during the test and I had a snack during break. My prayers were all answered and my needs taken care of. I'm not even going to worry about my parents because if God wants to work it out, he will do so and I believe it.

From this I just want to say:

THANK YOU JESUS, LOVE YOU

"I don't have enough faith to be an athiest."

A line I've heard but never delved into. But I thought about it and came to that exact conclusion. I don't have the faith to be an athiest. Those words don't sound right together but they're very closely related. One day, we'll all die. Our sisters, our brothers, moms, dads, children, friends, etc. But nobody knows what happens when we die except the dead. Theists belive there is something after death, whether heaven, hell, reincarnation, divinity, whatever other beliefs are out there. Athiests believe there is...nothing. Just a big dirt nap. Now, life is a very big bet. You gamble all you have on the way you live and what you do.

The consequence of being a theist and being wrong is nothing because while we may have "wasted" our lives, we were happy with our choices. If we weren't happy, we can't even regret it because we'll be dead. Unable to think or feel. But the consequence of being an athiest and being wrong is in some cases, small and trivial, and sometimes very big and excruciating. Like hell. Y'know, the pit of everlasting flames where teeth gnash, souls weep, and flesh burns but does not decay. For eternity. The benefit of being an athiest and being right is a fun and wild time on Earth for about 80 years (if your lucky) that you'll forget once you croak. The benefit of being a theist and being right is living a life with hope and purpose and then getting whatever benefit there is to that religon, which is a perfect world with a perfect God in christianity once you die. Does that sound like equal pay equal reward to you?

You need to have the upmost faith in the belief that there is nothingness after death to be an athiest or you waste not these 80 years you love so badly, but the eternity afterward. You stake your body, your life, your future and your soul on it. You risk an eternity and afterlife in burning flames to believe it.

No matter what, we will all face death and we will all have to make a bet on something or someone. Atheism isn't a way of not betting at all, it's betting on there being no answer to the question, no number on the dice being thrown. Believing in every God and religon is betting on every answer being right, betting that every number is the right bet, which is contradictory and completely false. It's not a way out, it's either you turned off your brain and used "I want proof" as an escape route, or you genuinlly have the faith to be able to say you are willing to risk hell and eternal flames and firmly believe that there is nothing after death. That is a lot of faith. More faith than I have.

The only bet a theist has to make is on who they believe. They have 4000 somethin options but only one can be true. God has given me all the reason I need to follow Him, and so I will do just that.

But yeah. I don't have the faith to be an athiest.