"what Was Your Childhood Like?" Idk I Wasn't There

sys culture is never remembering the things you actually need to remember but instead remembering all the upsetting/traumatic shit ffs. always remembering the things you don't want to remember or don't need to remember whatsoever. and always forgetting the important stuff.

i am so sick of my memory and i feel so stupid and useless. everything is so confusing and i can't tell whats real anymore. so upsetting. :(

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I have a joke about math but im 2² to say it

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

missing someone is crazy because you’ll have dreams that r like “we went on a nice walk together :)” and you’ll wake up feeling like you’re gonna throw up

christmas is coming so heres a reminder:

if ur stuck with abusive or shitty family...

u are always allowed to step away. i opt to go for a walk because "the fresh air is nice and its a little crowded in here right now" [using a light happy tone is key here, so hopefully theyre less likely to take it negatively]. u have autonomy over urself even if u dont feel like it

u can go to ur room and say ur just "grabbing something" [say its ur phone or a phone charger, something like that] and take a quick breather

u dont have to listen to the conversations. if theyre being bigotted u dont have to listen or say anything. loads of ppl have started a "if u dont say anything about ur familys bigotry ur part of the problem". u arent. ur keeping urself safe. u can zone out, tune it out, etc [u can even hide an earbud in ur ear for music if that helps]

keep a comfort item on u. i keep fidgets in my pockets.

u dont have to drink. no matter the pressure put on u.

if presents are involved and u feel overwhelmed by ppl trying to force u to give a positive reaction i usually say "wow thank u all so much! im putting these in my room real quick to keep them safe, thank u theyre lovely" [i struggle with this one a lot given im autistic as well so forcing the reaction is hard. i always use a script]

i really do go insane three to four times a day

the urge to deactivate everything and go missing

i just hate feeling so forgotten and unimportant

how to stop wanting something i can never have