So Im Trying To Decipher This Chart On Wikipedia That Has Common Vampire Weaknesses In It And

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

reblog to violently explode a trans kid’s transphobic teacher

Yall are actually hospitable to y'alls hookups??? I never even let mine use the bathroom with the door closed. I’ll be damned if I let a fag steal my $30 vitamin C serum.

Fuck that beard is amazing

he’s literally pregnant coded

Times change…

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

Just checking!