Ahomeonmars - Oh No!

anyone wanna sit together in silence while you do your thing and i do my thing and we do our things. together. in silence

“you should be the bigger person” absolutely not. i’m cursing his entire bloodline.

um sorry for moaning when you stabbed me. it's been a really long time since anyone touched me like that

“With diamond bracelets from wrist to elbow, an expression of vacuous boredom on your face, and the steel of your heart tempered for conquest–life ought to be fun, oughtn’t it?”

— Stephen Tennant, writing for Vogue (via fabular-mr-fox)

Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

she's a 10 but it's hard for her show affection so she just bullies you

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

GUARDS!! console me

*holding you close as you bleed out*

Yeah man... it was a good bit... it was a really good bit... really funny....