"he Would Not Fucking Say That" I Say With Disgust, But Im Not Talking About Characterization Im Talking

* The subconscious anon has been in communication with their doctor - and ate one balanced dinner 😃. Inumaki would be proud. Did YOU 🫵🏻 get your yearly check-up yet? Now I'm thinking about Inumaki playing doctor, but he has to charades the disease he's assigning his classmates*

UHMMM

I THINK I HAD MY APPOINTMENT IN DECEMBER???

help wait i just heard a noise from my closet send help

can i be added to the taglist of cupids chokehold 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

OFC‼️‼️

Anon hate is shitty and you shouldn’t do it of course but it’s also the funniest and least effective kind of hate

For starters the blogger can just delete and ignore it. And given tumblr’s penchant for eating asks I think it would drive some hate senders a little insane if they keep checking back in wondering if their ask got eaten.

For second the anon ask format guarantees the blogger gets the last word in every time. Even if anon sends a follow up message they will never get the last word. And tumblr for better or for worse seems to run on this currency of “whoever expressed the last opinion in a post is the one we’re supporting”

For third, this publishes the hate directly to the blogger’s own followers, i.e. the people MOST likely to take the blogger’s side. Home court advantage by design.

*omg omg omg we're gonna cancel toge if he doesn't get us off djebje*

chat i actually can’t read

NONE OF YOU ARE EXEMPT FROM THIS 🫵

Minor spoilers for the special oneshot:

A small bit of panel; just Kenma’s chat doubting him

Okay but I find the way Kenma’s chat doubt his volleyball ability hilarious

He did end up looking half dead tho, so..

gojo satoru, often referred to as the most powerful sorcerer of his time, feels his palms start to sweat because he knows he’s coming home past curfew.

so he does what any man fearing his partner's wrath would do. sneak in and deal with the consequences in the morning.

he closes the door behind him as quietly as possible, slips his shoes off and places them neatly beside yours, and tries his best to tiptoe through the darkness without bumping into anything.

he makes it two steps when the kitchen light is flicked on, and he's greeted by your wary expression.

plan a has failed, so he quickly switches gears to plan b, pulling the limp bouquet of roses from behind his back.

but you've never been so easily wooed, hardly sparing his apology gift a glance and not reciprocating the kiss her presses to your lips as you state, "you're almost an hour past curfew."

gojo sighs, glancing around. he's on the lookout for a broom-wielding megumi. "i know, i'm sorry-"

"this is the third time this week."

"i...know."

but you're not done, arms crossed over your chest as gojo follows you into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. "what were you doing?"

the truth is the only way to placate you, it seems. "there's this curse that the higher-ups want me to exorcise. special grade."

"did you do it?"

"i can't," he insists, like he has been for the past week since he'd been given the assignment.

"then i'll help you," you shrug. "you've obviously done a lot of scouting, so tomorrow after we drop megumi off at school--"

"i can't do it because it's attached to a kid!" he admits, his voice raised a little more than he'd prefer. "i don't think he even knows about curses or the one that's clinging to him."

you curse quietly, shaking your head slightly and asking, "how old is he?"

"a few years older than megumi."

you're looking past him at the kid's rooms. at megumi's, and tsumiki's empty one. he takes a seat beside you, taking your hand and squeezing gently.

"so what are we going to do?"

"take him in," gojo proposes. "teach him how to use it. control it. he seems like a bright kid, i think he can learn. but...i need your help convincing the higher ups.

you turn to face him, sighing, "you know i'm always on your side."

gojo satoru isn't sure of a lot of things in this world, but that is one of them.

"we'll go talk to them in the morning. and on the way, we're going to discuss your habit of bringing home weird sidekicks," you scoff, rolling your eyes. but gojo catches a hint of a smile on your lips as he presses a kiss to your temple.

"ah, you love it," he teases, and to no one's surprise, you don't argue.

-

BONUS

"you came home late again," megumi says over breakfast. "that's three times."

"i was working. the roof over your head? the cereal you're eating? i paid for with my blood, sweat, and tears," gojo quips.

you clear your throat loudly, shooting him a glare.

"we paid for," he corrects. but when you turn your attention back to your book, gojo points at himself, mouthing, all me.

megumi rolls his eyes, and gojo gasps at the blatant disrespect. "you were still late. you slowing down or something, old man?"

of all the low blows he could be dealt, this one always hurt the most. who the hell raised this kid? "i am not old! how dare you insinuate such a thing!"

but megumi isn't done, because when do moody teenagers ever pull their punches? "maybe you should start taking your blindfold off more often. you obviously need all the help you can get."

gojo looks to you for help, but you don't even spare him a glance. "be nice. or i'll ground you both."

gojo just huffs, muttering under his breath. "next time we do groceries, i'm leaving you at the checkout. i'll just walk out."

"do it," megumi shrugs. "then i can walk home instead of sitting in your old car and listening to your old people music."

"it's a vintage car!" gojo argues, pointing a spoon in the kid's direction a little threateningly. "and you're the one whose favourite song is 'island in the sun!' that song is older than you are."

megumi doesn't miss a beat. "not older than you, i bet."

gojo's even more offended when you laugh, high-fiving megumi and saying, "hopefully the next one is nicer to you."

“When we meet again, we’ll be friends right?” “If possible, I hope we don’t meet again.”

im so emotionally constipated holy god

If neurotypicals are so good at picking up hints, why do they never seem to notice you leaning away when they try to touch you?