Gays Are Like: I Go To The Art Museum. I Look At A Painting. I Contemplate The Irreconcilable Loneliness

I'm written by Donna Tartt. Not in the way that I'm ethereal and smart and well-read. But in the way that I will do anything to be perceived well by a bunch of pretentious people. In the way I never feel smart enough, worldly enough, or that I'll ever fit in, but I'll pretend that I do to a fault. In the way that despite it all, I still have a god complex regarding my intellect

Column capital with  monogram of Justinian. You can see traces of the great civilization that built it all over Hagia Sophia.

I have a theory about what Henry whispered in Camilla's ear before he killed himself.

Among other things, in the first lesson with Julian, he recounts a story about Tiberius:

Think, for example of Tiberius, the ugly stepson, trying to live up to the command of his stepfather Augustus. Think of the tremendous, impossible strain he must have undergone, following in the footsteps of a saviour, a god. The people hated him. No matter how hard he tried he was never good enough, could never be rid of the hateful self, and finally the floodgates broke. He was swept away on his perversions and he died, old and mad, lost in the pleasure gardens of Capri: not even happy there, as one might hope, but miserable. Before he died he wrote a letter home to the Senate. "May all the Gods and Goddesses visit me with more utter destruction than I feel I am daily suffering."

And that is what I think he whispered to Camilla, seeing as the story of Tiberius kind of mirrors Henry's.

Man, once a month I go to into The Secret History tag and occasionally find some amazing art, but the rest 99.9% of it every time is the same 3 quotes from the book posted for the 20000th time: "I'm nothing in my soul if not obsessive", "Forgive me for all the things that I did etc etc", "Beauty is terror", "Morbid longing for the picturesque", random completely unrelated to the book dark academia moodboards, photos of Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch posts for some reason, "THE CHARACTERS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE IT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE BOOK!/!)", Henry Winter stans, Francis lovers and 'cubitum eamus', "The Secret History is so insane/so funny if you think about it-", cringey fake deep pseudophilosophical one liners.

feeling that oppressive urge to have a group of friends who have weekly dinners at someone’s apartment, flock together on campus, debate literature and philosophy over wine soaked nights, study in the library together long after everyone’s gone, write each other letters when we’re apart for the holidays, run about the woods at night and be utterly, utterly free.

still can't get over the fact that i lost my tsh book :(

this year i’m gonna attend a college while being delusional and living my dark academia knowledge superiority classicist stunning university building beauty-craving soul fantasy

am I the only one that thinks we don’t really know much about Charles?

I mean, he was always a side character, we don’t really get to know him, anything. I feel like we know almost nothing about him, and then, in the second part of the book he is a really really important character. the police and FBI interrogations, his slow mental breakdown. we get so much information about him at once, his relationship with Camilla, his problems, him being abusive. but despite all of that I still feel like he wasn’t detailed enough and it’s confusing.

anyone feels the same?