BABIE PIKA

Come out to the driving centre, feel like crying cuz where the hell am I shit I feel like I have an anxiety attack I really should've brought my headphones along....

the suspense till the chapter they meet is slowly destroying me x)

Ok, I need to watch Encanto 2957950281 times more to absorb every bit of it, but in the meantime here’s a list with some little details I loved:

—That habit Mirabel has of wiping her hands before touching a doorknob. We see little Mirabel do it before her magic door, excited about the upcoming gift; but 10 years later she keeps doing it, as if she had developed a subtle anxiety about closed doors. Or perhaps she just sweats a lot, lol; Bruno’s “you’re very sweaty” seems to back up that. It was something so mundane that I loved it.

—The GLASSES. As a short-sighted woman who’s been wearing glasses for more than 25 years, I really really really appreciated Mirabel’s glasses and all the unconscious movements associated to them. Every time she had to readjusted her glasses because they fell or slipped over her nose, I was like 8D (that scene in Bruno’s room with her glasses full of sand, omg)

—Actually, Mirabel herself is just amazing. I was afraid they could give us the dorky-girl-with-glasses archetype, but thank God they didn’t. She’s unique and so tree-dimensional: her expressions, her body language, her energy, her optimistic but not childish behavior. The latter is very important, tbh, because optimistic female characters are often infantilized and portrayed as too innocent and easy to fool. Mirabel’s actually pretty mature (emotionally mature, at least), and brave and strong and soft and loving, and she seems just real, not fitting any defining archetype/trope that constrains her personality. How awesome is that, folks.

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NIKKI THE GOATTTT

Killugon meta: 「心中だな」 “A lovers’ suicide, I guess”

Hey everyone, welcome to yet another addition of HXH translation meta with your old pal hunterxhell. This time, I’m taking a look at what I think is, hands-down, one of if not the most important scenes in HXH for understanding Killua and his feelings for Gon. In fact, I’m going to make the case that this scene proves that those feelings are romantic in nature. Unfortunately, the translation for this scene was absolutely butchered (it’s by far the worst translation in the series), so all of the meaning was lost, including the wonderful Killugon subtext.

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That feeling you're looking for fics and someone describes a fic you read a long time ago you just can't help but smile and remicise about it

The imagery of various places and settings of those fics just flashes across my mind in an instant...

Damn I love it

There's just so much existential horror and misery trapped within the comedy of Saiki K and tbh that's why I love it lmao.

Xxx

Forcing your entire family to lift their roots and put them down elsewhere. Being intelligent enough to see and understand the burden and strain this places on the people around you. Knowing they do it because your parents love you, they don't want to leave you. The sacrifices they've made just for you.

Your mom is afraid to make friends because what if she says too much?

Your father is constantly going from job to job, something which looks terrible on a resume, forcing him to take worse and worse work just so he can support your family. He blames you. You kinda blame you too so you don't protest it. It's not like he can hurt you anyway if he takes it out on you. He does. He doesn't hide it. Why would he? It's normal.

You've been fighting one thing or the other ever since you can remember.

It's natural for your older brother to be jealous of you - your very presence has split his parents' attentions but more now he has to learn from a young age first hand that there's always someone better than you. Your life is constantly displaced for reasons that are purely attributed to you, but you can't make those reasons go away.

You can't connect with anyone either. You're terrified that if you do, something will happen that'll trigger your family to move, again, uproot everything they've tried so hard to establish. Or, worse, you'll hurt someone. Many someones. Break the world. You've almost done it. Your morals weren't fully developed then. The guilt you carry isolates you further.

The people you love most are constantly on the run. From you.

You're aware of your capacity. Of your ability. It's frightening to the point of grey, numb, exhaustion.

You want to run from you too.

Xxx

Your little brother was the worst and best thing that ever happened to you. You hated him but he challenged you physically and creatively, drove you to work hard, inspired you constantly to do better, do bigger, because every failure was an opportunity to learn. But it got to be too much. You had to get away. He was everywhere. He was better than you. Stronger than you. Your nights become filled with nightmares once you learn he nearly killed four kids - and nobody is ever going to know he did it. Worse, nobody is ever going to care he did it. He can make it so. So you leave, go to be among people you think are like you....only they're not. Your life has been so insular from all the moving around that you never got to realize how even the brightest the world has to offer apparently don't hold a Candle to you. You become jaded. You become lazy. You become depressed. What's the point. Your life no longer has meaning.....until you realize that the meaning of your life was the very person you ran away from. The one who simultaneously terrified and inspired you, who pushed you to be the best. Your life was so much better then. You need to recapture that zeitgeist. You're terrified. You have so much love. Nobody makes you feel the way he does, nobody on this planet can compare-...but wait. That's your little brother. That's not quite right? Is it? You've never been in love. You've never connected to anyone else. Your scope of understanding on that point is narrow. You begin to misunderstand your own feelings based on the criteria you've been exposed to since goodness knows when.

Nobody else can ever understand.

Other people can never understand.

Nobody compares anyway.

They're ants compared to you, and compared to him?

Nothing at all.

Xxx

You thought you had it all - good looks, a good brain, athleticism. For a long time you were at the top of the hierarchy. You meet a beautiful girl. She loves you, you love her. The entire world is stretching in front of the two of you, mired in glorious green and hope. You want to give her a good life. And then you have children. The first one is intense and bright. He's able to comprehend so much it's scary but he's also still only a child. You can see it in how he acts, all that learning still to do, things not yet understood. You teach him. You're proud. But you're scared. His potential frightens you. But he's still your kid. And you're still his dad.

But then your second son happens. He's born with unnatural pink hair. In just days he's talking to you with his mind in full, perfect sentences. His hold on grammar is better than yours. His strength is keener than yours.

He has psychic powers.

But he's still your son. You're still his dad.

Only it doesn't feel that way at all. Your authority is in question constantly. You feel like you're looking at a grown man trapped within the unsettlingly coloured eyes of an infant. He's strange. He doesn't respect you. You lose grip. Your eldest, too, has taken note. He doesn't care about you much anymore, what you have to show and teach him. The both of you could be in this together but you're divided. And then you're moving, constantly. Your wife is all you have left in the world who cares about you. That hope you once held, the feeling of potential, it's gone. You've seen the universe. You looked into it. In return it looked into you.

It found you wanting.

Xxx

Your world used to be big. So big. So full.

Used to be.

You see your parents rarely but it's awkward and stressful when you do. Your friends? Left behind. You chose your family over them, it was the right thing to do. They don't reach out. You leave them to it.

In your home are three people. You love them with all your heart. They fulfill you endlessly. They're all good men. They love you in return.

But they hate each other.

You're an anchor tied between three directions. Pulled apart.

Then it's two.

It's easier. That makes you feel horrible.

Worse, you know eventually it'll only be one. Or maybe even none.

You're alone.

Where did you go?

Who are you anymore?

You know your husband and sons better than you know yourself.

Please don't let them ever leave you alone to those godforsaken four walls. Somehow they've become your whole world.

But then it's not. You haven't moved in a while. You've been able to make friends! Your youngest has too, thank god, the loneliness you're so afraid of is something you'd never want your littlest to experience.

But.

You open your mouth too big. Too wide. Too many times over. Your son has to swoop in and save you every time.

Loneliness was fine.

The guilt is so much worse.

Finally realising I'm aromamtic (or at least om the aro spectrum) really made me think about all those past experiences as to why I was so bewildered that people like people THAT way irl. Kinda crazy to think about

Wdym you wanna do more than hangout and do those stuff?? You mean that happens in thsi world?? Whaa

Clover Tea: Maybe on mundane days (2)

Nacht’s devils and the Bulls’ animals.

If Nacht makes it out of Spade Arc alive, I hope his devils will get to interact with the Black Bulls.

5 years on tumblr, huh, insane to think about i. Time files fast when ur life is falling apart