My Answer Is: At Least 37

I'm sorry if I'm difficult to deal with. I don't know how to deal with myself either.

lets bother mama

"I loved you past your skin" By Astrum

i didn’t fall for your body — i fell for the way your silence trembled when you trusted me to hear it. i loved you past your skin, past the curve of your lips and the softness of your breath. i loved the cracks in your voice when the world grew too heavy, the storms in your eyes when you were too tired to smile, and the ache in your soul that you tried so hard to hide. Don’t you see? i was not memorizing your body— i was memorizing the map of your hurt. because love, i did not come to touch you like a tourist touches a city— i came to live inside you, the way a poem lives in the chest long after the page is burned. You were not a body to me. you were a home i wanted to return to, over and over, even when the doors were locked. — and baby, i still have the keys.

“I see the way you carry pain in your silence, and strength in your softness. You don’t need to be loud to be powerful. Your emotions are not ‘too much’ — they’re poetry in motion.” By----- Astrum

“I am learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me.”

— Unknown

I break inside every time you make me choose

I don't want to hurt you

I never wanted to hurt you

It was never my intention to build some wall

But I always find myself having to choose between you and him

If I follow you, I'm a good daughter

But I'd be wearing a mask everywhere we go

If I follow my heart, I'm a rebel

I get a disrespectful and ungrateful label

I would continue walking, feeling like I am stabbing you as I go

I never wanted to choose

I just want my decisions respected

I just want to honor the words and plans I've commited

Is it wrong to not bend for you?

Is it wrong for me to follow my decisions?

I am so tired of trying to please you

I can't seem to do enough

Everything I do is a disappointment

That's all I see every time you look at me

From the way you talk to the way you move

You are disappointed that I'm the daughter you have

I'm sorry

If I could just die now so you don't have to worry

If I could just die now so you get to have the daughter you want

I am willing to

Just so you can be happy

"To feel intensely and with compassion is not a sign of weakness, but the living proof of humanness." - Astrum

The Quiet Things We Never Say

In the hush between two heartbeats,

there lives a truth we all forget —

that love is not the grand parade,

but the quiet steps we never regret.

It’s in the hand that brushes yours

without needing a word or a name,

it’s in the eyes that stay awhile

when the world forgets your flame.

It’s not the fireworks or flawless lines,

nor promises wrapped in gold —

it’s the way we show up, soft and real,

when life turns silent, dark, and cold.

So if you’re reading this, just know:

You matter, wildly, more than you see.

You are the gentle thing in someone’s sky,

the reason their soul feels free.

Breathe. Be. Stay.

You are already the poem today.

“When you love me like gravity”

By Astrum

you don’t have to demand me — i give myself the moment your eyes soften. when you speak with quiet certainty, it feels like gravity brushing my spine — reminding me that falling is safe when it’s into you. i obey not because i must, but because you make devotion taste like freedom and love feels like breath. say stay and i will curl into your chest like a song that never wants to end. tell me wait and i will sit patiently, because i know the wait ends with your smile. you don’t break me — you hold me until all my sharp edges melt into the shape of us. with you, Obedience is not surrender. it’s coming home. again, and again, and again.