Incorrect Witchcraft SMP Quotes

Prismarina: Hey, you want a tarot reading? Joey: Those are Pokemon cards. Prismarina: You got a magikarp. Joey: … Prismarina: It means 'fuck you'.

Eloise: pulls back the curtain while Lauren is showering Eloise: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’ Lauren: Thanks fam! Scott: Oh no. Eloise: cries I love you too. Shelby: Sounds fake, but okay. Tiff: A flustered mess Prismarina: Can I get a refund?

Lauren: Heyyy Tiff, how’s your… drink?? Tiff: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee. Lauren: You sure?? Looks to coffee maker Tiff: Looks to coffee maker Cement sitting beside the coffee maker Tiff:…I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

Eloise: How does that even work? Joey, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Eloise: Your face doesnt make sense.

Prismarina: When I first met you, I did not like you. Joey: I'm aware of that. Prismarina: But then you and I had some time together. Joey: Uh-huh? Prismarina: It did not get better.

Prismarina: Shelby, why is Tiff intruding on our cuddle time? Tiff: Shelby, why is Prismarina intruding on our cuddle time? Shelby, in distress: Please… I have two hands…

Lauren: They made Shelby cry! Cleo: Shelby always cries! Shelby: That's not true! cries

Shelby: You have to apologize to Prismarina! Joey: Fine! Joey: Unfuck you, or whatever!

Prismarina is casually searching around the room Scott: Hey Prismarina, what’re you looking for? Prismarina: My will to live. Shelby walks into the room Prismarina: Oh, there it is.

Scott: out cold on the ground Cleo: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?! Prismarina, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on Scott’s face

Scott: I'm not creepy. Scott: I'm petty. Scott: There's a difference, ya' know.

Joey: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit? Tiff: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move. Eloise: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit. Eloise: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks. Cleo: Are. Are you speaking from experience. Eloise: No! Eloise: Eloise: ….Maybe.

Cleo, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

Cleo: So… what would you do if you were in bed with me? Lauren: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Cleo: Yes. Lauren: I'd sleep.

Lauren: Prismarina, don’t go picking a fight with Scott. Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you. Prismarina: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

Prismarina: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Cleo: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

Cleo: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. Joey: Aw… that's not true. Joey: It'd be exactly the same. Joey: You're not important.

Cleo: Seriously, Lauren, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? Lauren: That’s not important Cleo: I DISAGREE.

Cleo: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. Prismarina: …All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Shelby: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Prismarina: This knife is actually a magic wand. Tiff: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. Scott: cocks gun Magic missile. Lauren: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

The Squad when asked about their earlier confession of love Lauren: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you. Tiff: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way… Eloise: has a panic attack What confession? Prismarina: winks I know, babe. You like me too. Cleo: So what? Are you going to date me or not? Joey: It was a dare.

Cleo: Hey, what are you reading? Eloise: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. Cleo: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Prismarina: So it’s just a Notebook? Eloise: It’s just a Notebook.

Scott: What’s up? I’m back. Tiff: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Scott: Death is a social construct.

Prismarina: We have a problem. Scott: Let me guess, you caused it? Cleo: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet. Tiff: And it's another Tuesday, your point? Joey: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up. Lauren: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.

More Posts from Bakingphoenyx and Others

bakingphoenyx

2 years ago

For some reason 1am often puts me in an Empires mood, so get some random headcanons:

fWhip and Lizzie meet up twice a week, once in Animalia's berry shop and once in the Goblands tavern.

They both invented a new drink specifically for their friend. fWhip made a pork chop smoothie with berry decorations on top for Lizzie and Lizzie made a special sculk juice with raw gold leaves as decor for fWhip. They immediately became their favorite drinks.

Jimmy is actually just the spirit of season 1 Jimmy, who currently possesses an action figure.

The action figure he's inhabiting is also one of those haunted dolls they make b-rated horror movies about. It was thrown away because it was too adorable to actually scare anyone.

Similarly, Editor!Joel is just the ghost of season 1 Joel who is currently haunting season 2 Joel. To be clear, he doesn't want to do that, he was just kicked out of the afterlife. Also, season 2 Joel hates him because he actually got the girl, while he's still trying and failing with Lizzie.

Empires False never actually did anything entirely evil. The pumpkin guy who keeps stalking her, however, has committed several war crimes and continuously frames her.

Sausage has taken a few habits from Eddie, the main one is him bouncing around every time he's feeling stressed, and him scrunching up his nose to sniff the air every time he enters a new space. Some people think he's a rabbit hybrid because of it.

Katherine can easily bench press both Pirate Joe and Shelby at once. This isn't even really a headcanon considering the giant axe she wields, but yeah, she can.

Shelby drinks all of the potions she creates at least once. She's either drunk or high, like, 90% of her life because of it. No one notices because she's just always like that, so it's normal for them.

Owen is not the first llama Scott made out with.

142 notes View Post

bakingphoenyx

2 years ago

ShubbleYT has completed the challenge [It Spreads]

491 notes View Post

bakingphoenyx

2 years ago

$//slight Spoilers For Scott's Latest Witchcraft Smo Video\\$

//slight spoilers for Scott's latest witchcraft smo video\\

As soon as I saw Shelby's massive cloak I knew I had to draw it made of clouds. It looks so comfy I want one irl

319 notes View Post

bakingphoenyx

1 year ago

Do yuo think Shelby sends Katherine letters via Nimbus during the supreme witch trials. Do you think the gardens looking a little bit sad now because Katherine’s not used to having to water it. Do you think Shelby refuses to take her ring off (theyre married source just trust me bro) even though it would be more efficient and make room for more enchanted rings. Do you think Katherine goes through her day working on requests and embroidery projects just waiting for the little black crow to show up with some more batshit insane letters. “Hey Katherine <3 The trials are going really well, I’ve learnt a lot since getting here! I grew wings btw. Also I have a sister now!!! She’s kinda cringefail but I think you’d like her :) I’ll see you soon, just gotta fight a death battle and I’ll be back home!! Miss you XOXO <3!”. Hello can anyone hear me

Tags

katherine elizabeth nature wives !! witchcraft smp great witch shelby storm witch shelby

292 notes View Post

bakingphoenyx

1 year ago

That's definitely how I see it. Since Scott left it all behind, that makes her the most powerful witch!

i will forever say that shelby should have become supreme witch. i truly believe that with all the powers, she would have helped every other person. the reasoning is that she is just a genuinely good person, but she has also experienced all the struggles that the other witches have gone through. remembering that witchcraft shelby is just an older esmp s2 shelby.

she has experienced still wanting to go back to the people who rejected her (joey), having corruption ruin your romatic relationship (pris), sent away to protect nature (tiff), very personal experiences with death (scott), wanting a place to call her home (el), everyone not taking her seriously (lauren), and having voices haunt her (cleo)

also, it would have just made such a satisfying ending to the start of her esmp s2 character where she was kicked out of the witches academy only to become supreme witch

63 notes View Post

bakingphoenyx

2 years ago

My HC for Shelby’s new skin and comparing it to her WC skin is that after being cured of the sculk her hair color changed, and then she eventually becomes WC Shelby, however I think it was confirmed that WC was canonically in between empires seasons? Maybe she somehow traveled back in time?

51 notes View Post

bakingphoenyx

1 year ago