Balletscary - Oli | 19

Islands

Mindaugas Buivydas

edited by me

Glenn Brown- Layered Portraits (after Lucian Freud) 1-9, 2008

the eroticism of brutalist architecture with ethel cain

the devil’s whispers:

you can do it tomorrow (if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it ever)

you have a lot of time left (life is actually pretty short and we don’t have that much time)

you can skip this one little thing today (you are functioning solely due to the fact that you have a routine)

i must respond to this one thing that is bothering me immediately (you don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

I must check my phone (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

panicking is productive (panicking never makes a situation better, but in fact exacerbates it)

I must listen to music while doing the most minute task (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. and I like music as much as the next person but moments of sheer silence are crucial)

I must befriend everyone (some people just don’t mesh together and that is ok)

I can skip working out for the day (working out does so much for ur physical AND mental health)

If misfortune happens to me it’s because I am uniquely unlucky (misfortune has nothing to do with preordained circumstances and everything to do with random odds)

If I am mistreated it’s because I am a horrible person and I deserve it (most times people are projecting their issues onto u and it has nothing to do with u)

if I make a mistake I am uniquely horrible (we are all human and we all make mistakes. the important thing is to hold ourselves accountable and learn from them)

I must have this one thing I really want now (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. also whatever u want will still be here tomorrow so this sense of urgency is false)

I am uniquely hated/disliked/ostracized (most people are busy w their own lives and don’t have the time to be hating on u. and if they really are then their life is pretty empty and their opinion should not be held in high regard to begin with)

dont mind the dirty ass windshield

✩*∘⚊ꈍᴗꈍ

 July 27, 1932 Swan Lake, MN F3 twister.

through the pain, the agony

he would peel off my clothes

kissing every inch of my bare skin

biting the flesh, tenderising me

positioning himself on top

synchronicity, synergy

two bodies bathed and dancing in moonlight

the substance of his lust in words, he likes to whisper things

i am special

and presently, we are one

i feel a sudden surge of energy, it rushes up through my spine and into my skull

drawing my teeth to his neck

i desire quite violently

in my head i picture myself biting as hard as

i could

drowned in his ichor - we resume, despite the mess

his blood would cleanse me

like ocean water purified under the moon

tasting him worsened my ustulation

- otterley