Not To Sound Like A 90s Shallow Prep, But How You Dress Can Affect Your Self Esteem, And Putting Energy

listen to me. thoughts do not have moral weight. a thought will never hurt anyone. the actions you take because of a thought can hurt yourself or other people, but the thought itself is powerless and there is no such thing as thought crime.

"but i have thoughts about being violent towards people! towards children! surely that makes me dangerous!" are you being violent? for real? with your actions? if not, then you are not actually hurting anyone

"but i have thoughts that are offensive and hurtful! they're bigoted, or they're horribly rude, or they're invalidating to others! i'm a horrible person." and what are you doing with those thoughts, exactly? are you taking bigoted actions, or saying those rude things, or taking steps to actually invalidate people? no? well then. no one is getting hurt. and in the meantime, if it really bothers you, doing things like helping unlearn your biases (both against minorities and just, like, against furries and theatre kids and shit) might help some of those thoughts go away, but sometimes you just get shitty thoughts.

"but i have horrific thoughts about sex!" are you hurting people. are you forcing people to do things they don't consent to. or are you just playing the upsetting possibility in your mind over and over again, and acting like that's even remotely the same thing?

thought. crime. is. not. real. OCD. is. hell. (and anything else that may cause intrusive thoughts.) but it does not define you. your thoughts will always, always come secondary to your actions. you're gonna be fine.

It is still a balance of trying to let go and not be rigid despite knowing this. I am not expecting to reach perfection, but just getting through every day,  a day at a time, and knowing that bending is okay. 

EDUCATE YOURSELVES: chronic illness edition

this is important! chronically ill people get a lot of shit from healthy people and this could be avoided if everyone knew a little more about chronic illnesses in general so i’ve made a list of things healthy people (and newly chronically ill people) can read in order to know more about chronic illness and how it affects our lives!

some general information and must-reads:

the spoon theory (aka: why we call ourselves “spoonies”)

a sudden illness - laura hillenbrand

young and disabled by rachel anne

harmful tropes in literature

13 things people with chronic illnesses want you to know

a blog by people with chronic conditions

brief explanations of some chronic illnesses:

chronic fatigue syndrome (ME)

crohn’s disease

fibromyalgia + AMPS

ehlers-danlos syndrome - hypermobility type

ehlers-danlos syndrome - all types

CRPS/RSD (complex regional pain syndrome

IBD (inflammatory bowel disease)

POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome)

dysautonomia

rheumatoid arthritis

lupus

autoimmune diseases

hashimoto’s disease

addison’s disease

endometriosis

depression (most people with chronic illnesses develop depression)

anxiety

bipolar disorder

and i’m running out of spoons but there are many, many more so spoonies, feel free to reblog add some if you want!

things to keep in mind:

although it says in many descriptions that most people who are diagnosed are over a certain age, anyone at any age can develop a chronic illness, and many are teenagers or even children. don’t tell a chronically ill person that we are “too young to be this sick” because it’s an ignorant thing to say and it’s harmful to us.

many chronic illnesses are invisible illnesses, which means that you cannot tell that a person is sick just by looking at them. never say to a chronically ill person that we “don’t look sick” because it is harmful and annoying, even if you mean well.

some spoonies need to use wheelchairs, canes, or other forms of assistance/ accommodations, so please never express doubt that a person might need this assistance. it’s impolite and insensitive. just because someone looks perfectly fine doesn’t mean that they don’t have a chronic illness that requires the use of a wheelchair or other assistance.

many chronic illnesses aren’t terminal but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t a real problem. chronic illnesses are robbing us of their normal lives and we are living in pain because there is so much that doctors still don’t know about chronic illnesses. many spoonies have had doctors look us in the eyes and say “i don’t know how to help you” because there is so much research that needs to be done and there isn’t enough funding! so donate to organizations and hospitals who are raising money for research!

thank you for reading this! please reblog and spread awareness! thank you!

You want the real ADHD experience?

Most ADHD resources

Trying to find coping mechanisms or tips

Mentioning ADHD to anyone

Trying to get professional help

im calling myself out on this one

manic episode symptoms/warning signs

THIS IS NOT GOING TO APPLY TO EVERYONE!!! this is my own personal experience. mental illness isn't a one size fits all, i'm not claiming to be an expert or know what everyone's mania feels like, this is just what i've experienced

increased irritability

increased energy

change in appetite, not feeling hungry for days and then becoming ravenous

frequent sensory overload

oversensitivity

changes in sleep pattern, sleeping only 3-4 hours or shifting to sleeping more during the day and being awake all night

noticeable increase in productivity, that might start out as good, but you notice yourself being hyper fixated and jumping from several different projects

increase in impulsivity

feeling like you've lost control over yourself and your actions

paranoia

intrusive thoughts

nightmares

talking a lot, rambling, going on long rants

a feeling like you're watching yourself on a screen, like someone else took over your body and you're watching from the outside as they live your life

being aware you're making bad choices or that you are being reckless but not caring or being able to stop

dissociation

impulse purchases and reckless spending

reckless driving

impulse to change appearance or alter your image that can feel like a NEED if it isn't done immediately (for me this manifests in my hair, like cutting it or changing the color at 3 am. it also used to be comorbid with my eating disorder, which led to extreme fasting to try and lose weight)

feeling like you can accomplish things you couldn't normally do, feeling powerful, inflated ego and sense of self. i sometimes would think i was invincible and that nothing could hurt me and tried to act on it to prove it

increase in libido

risky sexual behavior

heightened emotions, everything feels larger than life, the highs feel like they'll never end and the lows feel like the end of the world

for myself this was only in extreme cases, but visual or auditory hallucinations. i've only had visual hallucinations a couple times, but when things got really bad, i would hear things that weren't there, or hear people calling me when i was all alone

feeling like thoughts are racing and you can't stop them, feeling like everything is loud and you're being pulled in a million directions

friends and family noticing uncharacteristic behavior, cutting people off, becoming VERY irritable, or showing too much affection in a way that isn't normal for you

and, inevitably, when it ends: The Big Crash. the depressive episode after that knocks you out

reblog and put in the tags a traumatic childhood memory that recently popped back into your head

It would be so funny if autistic people started describing allistic experience the same pathologised way doctors describe autism

I'm in a support group for queer adults with disabilities (before I joined i didn't even know there *were* groups for that overlap, it's amazing and I love it) and we had our digital meeting on Monday. I shared your most recent flag update, where you had moved the new version to the public domain. Especially since we were talking about the ADA and its anniversary, it was very fitting. Everyone really liked it! Several people commented about the symbolism, in particular. So, just letting you know of some responses from outside tumblr. Thank you for putting it out there!

Thank you!

(Confession: At the time you first sent me this ask, the new version of the flag was not yet in the Public Domain. But it is, now! 🏴🎇🏴)

Shamelessly plugging the new version, again – especially since I want it to eclipse the old one:

To the extent possible under law, Ann Magill has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to Visually Safe Disability Pride Flag. This work is published from: United States.

And for those who want detailed ‘specs’:

The ratio of overall breadth to overall length is 3 to 4. The ratio of the flag’s overall length to the width of each stripe is 10 to 1 (So the ratio of the overall length to the width of the combined stripes is 2 to 1).

The Hexadecimal codes for each of the colors are:

The Field: #585858

The Red: #CF7280

The Yellow: #EEDF77

The White: #E9E9E9

The Blue: #7AC1E0

The Green: #3AAF7D

Now, as to the symbolism: in the original flag, the zigzags were meant to represent “navigating around barriers.” But instead, they were the barrier – so they were removed.

So let me put the story of the new symbolism into words – here and now– and thereby bring it into being:

The Black, as it was from the beginning, represents rage and mourning for those who’ve suffered violence and abuse because of their disabilities.

The five colors, in order from left to right, represent bodily disability, neurodivergent disabilities, invisible and/or undiagnosed disabilities (always in the center, because any disability can be invisible at any time), mental illness/emotional disabilities, and sensory disabilities.

The colored band starts at the top of the hoist, which is a starting place of honor, and ends at the fly, which represents moving outward into the world.

Walls and locked doors (behind which Disabled People have been hidden for too long) are right angles, and square. And so the colored band is a diagonal that cuts across those right angles, in defiance.

The five stripes are parallel, to represent our solidarity.

There! How’s that?