Blankey - Blankey

Telepathic aliens enjoy that humans will "play music" for hours at a time. When it's too mentally quiet on deck, they just announce the catchiest song titles they know and the humans will start thinking about it automatically.

The humans hate this so, so much.

Zorf: Human Steve, can you please play that song I like, the one with all the females

Steve: what

Zorf: A little bit of Monica in my life

Steve:

Steve: mother fu--

I keep remembering a run of Hamlet I saw a few years ago, where the Ghost was costumed in full plate armour which was very noisy, and instead of muffling it, they had him crash across the stage, stomping so the whole set rattled, and he said all of his lines in a bellow, like he was furious with Hamlet.

And the thing that made it absolutely terrifying was that Hamlet was the only one who reacted. He was cowering, and covering his ears with both hands, and yelling to be heard over the noise.

And no one else seemed to know why he was doing that. The other actors didn't even raise their voices.

That's scary, something so loud and painful, and REAL, and the people around you don't even notice it, and think that you're the crazy one.

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

It’s like this

Here is the link! What an amazing idea ❤️

Bitches be like, ‘This is my favourite character!’ *Traumatises the ever-loving shit out of them* ‘I love them so much! They’re my precious baby!’ *Puts them through every form of torture known to man* ‘I just want them to be happy!’ *Puts them through so much shit that they have multiple mental breakdowns on screen*

It’s me, I’m bitches.

I love the HC where all the brothers are like "yeah, Dick is an idiot lol" but the moment someone says something bad about him, they jump to defend him with their lives... Even from himself, lol

Jason: Dick? Ah, yeah, he's stupid.

X: Ha! Yes, I bet he can't even add 2 + 2.

Jason: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? That guy was a mathlete, he won every damn contest he entered. Gotham Academy has a whole hall just for his trophies in different disciplines, both mental and physical skill. You wish you could be like that.

Tim: Sometimes I wish Nightwing would stop trusting people so much.

X hero: He's very naive, isn't he?

Tim: What??? No! The guy is a master manipulator, he knows every move you're going to make and he's three miles ahead of you. Whatever you do, he will know and be able to react accordingly in a second. He has more contingency plans than Batman! He is far from being naive!

Damian: You are too soft with them.

Dick: I am, aren't I? I guess I'm not at my best anymore.

Damian: Don't you dare say that again. You're one of the best fighters I know and you're the only person in the world I know who can do the stunts you do. You are literally the epitome of human fitness. Shut up. Don't look down on my Batman.

Duke just punched two people who were talking bad about Richie after he gave an interview on TV <3

He may like it, guys.

Become the Riddler you want to see in the world

I couldn’t be the riddler because every riddle I’ve ever heard has had multiple plausible answers that the person riddling can just shut down on a whim and that pisses me off