That Spiderman Comic With Paul Has Fucked MJ Over, Now The Women Hating Weirdos In Marvel Are Bringing

Me: Idgaf about Naruto, I'll never be interested in-

*that one Danny phantom x Naruto crossover fanfic*

Me: This is so good omg omg omg omg, I must know EVERTHING about these characters.

The joke was on me fr, I went into it for shits and giggles and came out giggling and shitting. I have a very vague understanding of what's going on in Naruto and that's because instead of watching it for myself I watch youtube explained videos, tiktoks and posts from different apps.

This is them btw:

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What if I just post everything

A blog that doesn't live up to its title

DP x DC: Child Support

John Constantine has done a lot in his life. Some good, some bad but most have been dangerous.

He sold his soul to as many powerful beings as he could so that they could fight each other over it and keep him in a safe-ish stalemate. It was a risk, one where he had to sweet talk, maneuver, and sometimes seduce his way through, but he's always come on top.

Waking to his wards broken as easily as someone walking through a still river meant he had finally met his match. John woke to the Time looming over him in its adult form.

Clockwork, the physical concept of Time, smashed into a body and consciousness. It's so rare to see the god outside his tower; to even be in his presence was such a high honor that families would keep proof of the encounter for generations to brag about.

"Hello, Johnny," Clockwork said in his specialized adult form. The nickname curved with fondness. This form is an even rarer sight to behold. Clockwork looked about to be in his late twenties, dressed in a Victorian-era suit with dark black hair, he would look human were it not for his pure red eyes and time staff.

He looks gorgeous.

John smiled nervously. "Clockwork. What do I owe the pleasure?"

The ghost hums. "I have come to make a deal with you."

See, that's not something John would like to hear from the second-strongest being in the multiverse. He was second to the Ghost King. Some would even argue that Clockwork was stronger were it not for his desire to remain neutral in conflicts for the sake of different timelines.

"What kind of deal?" John asks with a lustful grin, running his eyes up and down Clockworks form. It looks like he may have to seduce his way out of this again and hopefully could convince the god of Time that he was a great time in bed instead of dead once more

The Master of Time appears amused but unwilling to climb under the sheets with him. Bollocks, if he wasn't back for another month of pleasure then the deal would likely be unpleasant.

Even if Clockwork could be considered a past fling, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't ask for something harmful. John had less powerful exes who would gladly have him killed just as likely as they would key his car.

To make thinga worst, Clockwork reached into his gentleman jacket to pull out a small jar. John's heart leaped in horror at what was inside.

"I have collected every piece of your soul through challenges, purchases, or even offerings. I own you entirely, John Constantine," Clockwork said, his warm tan skin rippling into blue as the Ghost turned the jar this way and that. "I wish to return it to you, with my added protection, should the old contracts which you swindled will not seek out revenge in exchange, you must take responsibility."

John can barely breath "Responsibility of what?"

Clockwork gestures behind him, and out of the shadows step a human boy. A human boy that looks precisely like human-Clockwork as a teenager but with John's eyes and the shape of John's nose.

No.

He knows that despite how similar they look, Humans and the citizens of the Infinite Realms aren't biologically the same. He just didn't think that meant this.

That he could be so careless it resulted in this.

Clockwork waves a hand between them. "Jonny meet your son, Danny."

John choked as Danny awkwardly waved at him. He even stuffs his hands into his pockets the same way John would stuff his hands into his trench coat.

This can't be happening.

"Our son is half human, and it's unhealthy for humans to remain in the Infinite Releams for long periods. I now require you to raise him on Earth until his core is ready. The day our son is of age, you will have your soul back with my Infinite protection. Danny will take the throne of the Infinite Realms upon his marriage so do help him find a good suitor."

Clockwork considers the rapidly paling human with large amounts of glee. "I trust this would be acceptable? I must warn you, I have raised him outside of time, so he is a bit behind with modern technologies and references. He also has a ghost form he must use for his health. Oh, and, Danny has a peanut allergy, so keep that in mind for his meals. If anything were to happen to Danny while he lives with you, I would erase this entire place and not through time manipulation. I will simply kill everything. Keep you alive so I can kill every version of those you love across the multiverse in front of you. Try not to slip away from your child support to prevent that, yes?"

John faints.

Danny Fenton had to be removed from his dimension to erase Dan from existence. His future self had nearly escaped the Clock tower they couldn't risk a second time. Clockwork had told him removing him from his dimension, his timeline, would never allow Dan to exist. It broke his heart but to save the many lives that Dan took Danny had agree.

His friends and family were devastated even if Clockwork told them Danny would be allowed visits. Just nothing longer than a week and six months between visits. He had moved into Clockwork's haunt, becoming an assistant to the master of time. He helped weave timeliness, and suggested possible choices for various creatures of various situations across the multiverse.

Danny helped Clockwork control fate, if that wasn't ridiculous. He even tried his ghost powers, to the point he felt he could truelt match his mentor in a fight.

He spent two years like this- or two years in his home dimension. Time didn't move in Clockwork's tower so despite the amount of time he lived there Danny didn't look a day over fourteen still. It irked him like nothing else to see Tucker and Sam as sixteen year Olds while he still looked like he was a freshman.

(It also hurt to see them move on without him.)

However, due to his halfa status, his human side was starting to fall apart. He needed sun, food, sleep, and other humans. He would go mad otherwise, and none of this would matter if it resulted in Dan.

Clockwork couldn't put him back home. He couldn't even put Danny in an alternate timeline, for he could not be close to people he knew.

He had to go to one that had no various of anyone Danny knew. Thankfully the Infinite Releams is connected to plenty of places that fit the bill. All Clockwork had to do was twist a few small events, and boom, Danny Fenton would have a perfectly legal background with everything he need for survive.

If only his mentor wasn't such a michivious prankster.

" You want me to pretend to be your love child with some random magic guy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Trust me Danny, it's going to be hilarious."

(Part 2)

Gay people make me sick (I need their type of love carved into my flesh)

gay people can’t ever be normal after a breakup they gotta say some shit like “she is my scar” and then almost kiss

Much like Battinson is the opposite of the slutty womanizer socialite we usually think Bruce is, my headcanon about the new Superman is that he's the opposite of the dork shy nerd we usually think about Clark Kent.

So for me this new Clark is a bisexual disaster with much more experience he would admit as a polite midwestern.

I can picture him rollerskating 80s style, in shorts and crop top, big headphones on, sweaty scatterd curls...

Just umparalled unashamed sluttines. All Smallville eyes are glued on him.

Poor Kents had to send him study in Metropolis because people started to talk - not about his superpowers though.

He's a menace and he needs to be contained.

I know most people would say Tim or Jason but honestly I also see this being a Duke/Danny situaton.

Just imagine Danny flying off to be comforted by his personal nightlight and Duke doing everything in his power to make Danny feel comfortable while also mentally preparing to rip the Fentons a new one.

Feeling a bit angsty so I had this idea.

Danny is dating one of the Bats/Birds, and everything is going great, amazing even! They know each other secrets (from powers to everything etc), they have a wonderful place to live (even if its in Gotham), Danny is in college on the way to becoming a space engineer (and he does side jobs for unrestful ghosts), he's actually getting sleep again since leaving Amity Park, gets along with their friends and family (those who Danny or his partner still talk to, up to the writer), there is even talk about marriage and perhaps adoption/kids in the future between Danny and the Bat/Bird he's dating!

Everything is setting up for a good life in his future, something Danny didn't think could have after his accident. He was happy finally, and currently packing up his old apartment because he's moving in with his partner in a few days.

So he felt like his core was being pulled out of him when he opens his apartment door one day receiving a knock to find his parents, who had hadn't seen since they kicked him out of the house after coming clean about being Phantom (their words of anger and denial that their son was 'dead' and now a monster, still hurt)

Sure they didn't attack him or proclaim he's dead but still their last words and anger HURT.

Danny didn't give them a chance to open their mouths, both looking nervous and guilty, before he slams the door close and turns invisible, grabs his phone, and fly's out of his apartment to his partner's place in a panic attack.

His partner, isn't happy.

Royal-ish

Thinking about it Makoto during or after the tragedy would be so high up on the social list that people would start treating him like royalty. Like this man survived a killing game, took down the mastermind that screwed the world over and rehabilatated the most dangerous group of people alive on their planet.

You cannot tell me that Togami and Kirigiri are not working 24/7 to keep people at bay from outright taking him away or desperately trying to marry him (after the tragedy nobody really cares if they're the same sex, they still want him) and that's just the tamer side of things. People have also begun to worship him (much to his dismay) and are already forming weird cults because of it. Makoto just wants to relax in peace but Togami has made sure that whenever he leaves their building he is guarded by atleast five highly trained armed guards.

He tries to protest against this once because he doesn't fully realize that people actually think he's really royalty now and Kyoko brought up all the times he had to be saved from a kidnapping because they let him leave by himself.

"I can take care of myself."

"Did the last three cult leaders tell you that?"

"..."

"..."

"Touché."

I don't know how to explain it but some characters just have insane bi-guy energy to the point where I can physcially see a pink, purple and blue aura outline them sometimes.

I want a fic where Danny is adopted but not by the JL but a villain. BUT! It is a very minor villain to the point where people are absolutely gobsmacked when he calls the villain dad, like everyone just stops what they're doing and watches the interaction. Bonus points if they find out that Danny is an absolute powerhouse monster and wonder what entity away from God's light did they fuck to have him.

"That's your son?"

"Yes."

"The glowing white haired teen?"

"Yes."

"The same glowing white haired teen that just froze a star and then ate it?..."

"Yes! And?"

"THE FUCK YOU MEAN "AND?", HE JUST ATE A STAR!!"

___________

Danny in a less than human form: *screeching*

"Scream all you want but you still have school tomorrow and you're going."

Danny: *leaves taking the cold and weirdness with him*

"Sorry about that, he gets a bit cranky when he has to take a nap."

The rest of the villains in the meeting terrified: Oh...

___________

"It would much easier if you got your son to help with your task."

"Absolutely fucking not! He's not going to do ANY vigilante/villain bullshit if I have any say in it."

"You have the ultimate weapon at your side and you-"

"My son is blessing not a weapon, I advise you to NEVER speak about him like that ever again."

____________

Villain, threatening JL Hero: Tell your kid stay away from my son, he doesn't need any of that shit yall bring into his life.

JL Hero: What?

____________

Personally I like to imagine this somebody as Kite-Man but that's just me, use whoever yall like.

This fandom has poisoned my damn mind, yall keep saying Tim is a twink and I fully believed because of fanart, fics and certain comics ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT HE HAS MUSCLES, YALL ARE LIARSSSSS AND WILL BE SACRIFICED TO BATCOW!

Spider-Man’s at work, time for undead boys to meme.

Fic link here!