the minotaur
So I was rewatching Nott and Caleb’s conversation in e27 — the one where Nott talks about Molly’s impact on her and how much she loves the party. And there’s a couple of parts where she talks about her (and Caleb’s) life before the M9, how she was “in the darkness,” “hiding in the shadows and ducking into alleys to get away from people,” safe but “not really alive.”
And it struck me, given recent revelations, that Nott probably is probably talking about her life before she became a goblin, too.
Because yes, of course, Veth was happy with Yeza and Luke. But it’s clear that even in her happiness, she struggled with heavy self-esteem issues, heavy enough that when she became a goblin — after heroically saving her family — she saw her situation as a projection of her worst insecurities. Veth, as a halfling, was anxious (though maybe not so much as Nott); she suffered emotional scars from years of childhood, both from neighbours and her own family. Even before she became a goblin, Veth must have ducked into alleys to get away from people. She must have spent time hiding in shadows, out of breath, waiting for her bullies to stop chasing her. Maybe, when she was older, avoiding all the people who had bullied her as a kid.
And speaking as someone who was bullied as a kid and is still dealing with that as an adult: that shit, that anxiety and low self-esteem from being ridiculed as a kid, it really does feel like darkness. It does feel like you’re not really living. It’s really hard to live to your fullest potential, when you’re barely coping. And I think that, as happy as Veth was at the apothecary, with her family, that she was probably going through a fair bit of that.
The situation that eventually led her to the M9 was horrible, of course, and it’s awful that she’s been separated from her family. But her experiences with the party — “having fun and winning contests and killing bad guys and rescuing children,” as she tells Caleb — are really good for her, in many ways. Veth ran from bullies, but Nott stands up to a blue dragon. Veth didn’t have many friends, but Nott has a whole new group of people whom she loves and would protect with her life, a group of people who rely on her and care for her. She’s a successful, brave hero, and sometimes, when she’s delivered the killing blow, she even feels that way. Something Veth never felt, probably could never imagine herself feeling.
Nott’s newfound happiness with the M9 was touching before, but now, it’s even more touching knowing that she did have some happiness before, and this is still a new, wonderful experience, something she’d never have gotten back in Felderwin, something that may help to heal some of her childhood trauma. And I hope that she does get to settle back down with her family someday, but I think that if she does, she’ll be so much better for her adventures.
You’re lovable. Don’t you think so, Fjord?
fearne and braius redraw someone pls
Official character art for CR has been on my dream work list for a long time and now it is real. Thanks for all the love already, I gave it my all ❤️
Ohhh…
bless laura bailey and her dirty dirty mind
Bonus:
listen, I know you guys are all over everyone else but ya'll need to lock in with the gnomes, because the way they're doing Pikelan this season. It's truly like one of the best foreshadowed plot-points that TLOVM is doing for Bards Lament, and I am LIVING.
The way that they're setting up the fact that Pike has been the only one to truly come to Scanlan's aid in his dilemma between wanting to be present with Kaylie & wanting to be apart of VM -- "I tried being a father and apart of this team, and I failed at both things." and how's that's just permeated Scanlan and Pike's entire storyline from episode 1 of S3.
Scanlan is SO TORN between two things: wanting to be a present father for Kaylie and wanting to show her that he can be the father she needs, as well as being apart of VM in their most desperate of times. Like he's said, he cant be in two places at once, no matter how hard he tries.
"When all the options are terrible, you go with your heart." "Yeah. And what happens when that fails, too?"
And Pike, bless her heart, is also TRYING SO HARD to find and give him a reprieve -- telling him that he'd have her if things didn't work with Kaylie, telling him that he's not bad person, encouraging him to try to reconnect to her, telling him that there might be a solution.
And now here comes Bards Lament and Scanlan is in a coma, and because Pike's been the only one to know Kaylie and Scanlan's relationship, she's the one to fully spearhead Scanlan's ritual. She's the one who's going to use her newfound power to put Kaylie in Scanlan's consciousness and have her bring him back.
And now here's Bards Lament come to rear it's ugly ass head. Scanlan is going to snap. He's going to and I have no doubt that he's going to attack Pike the most, dismissing her repeated and sought after attempts to comfort him and help him in his time of need. All the things she did for him. All of the excuses she made, helping him, supporting him. All of it thrown to the floor because his self-hating ass is so caught up on the fact that no one cares for him and no one wants him around but being SO DAMN BLIND to the fact that the one person who loves him for who he is and what he's going to be and his dreams was right there all along.
PERFECTION. FACINATING.