Watching House For The First Time Why Is Foreman Always Hitting The

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

i cant even blame house for falling in love with wilson at first sight. i did too.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT WILSON AND CUDDY'S TENSION IN SEASON 3??

like holyy we know you both want to fuck house but you're eye-fucking each other like your lives depend on it

especially in 3x9 when cuddy was crying in her office

(I don't know who I want to be more)

The universal truth of House MD is that turtlenecks make you gayer. House acts gayer with one, Thirteen acts gayer with one, Cameron acts gayer with one...it's the universal truth.

#real

ducklings i'll be honest daddy's about to kill himself

BILLY JOEL AND WILSON HOW WILL I SURVIVE

& the most she will do is throw shadows at you (but she’s always a woman to me)

“hes obsessed with you. which is ridiculous, because he doesn’t even like you. he thinks.”

synopsis: wilson has always been a little too good at self-deception. until you come along and ruin it.

he’s not sure when it started.

maybe it was the third time you rolled your eyes at him during rounds.

or the fifth time you said, “that’s an interesting opinion,” in a tone that made it clear it wasn’t.

maybe it was when you laughed at him in that specific way — sharp and amused and teeth-baring — and walked off without another word.

whatever the cause, the effect is this:

he’s obsessed with you.

which is ridiculous, because he doesn’t even like you.

he thinks.

⸻

you’re impossible.

he tells himself that often.

you’re careless with your words. you’re smug when you’re right.

you point out inconsistencies in his logic, question his methods, act like his years of experience are a mild inconvenience to your brilliance.

you’re not cruel. just —

confident. disarming.

and so, so infuriatingly competent.

he can’t stand it.

he also can’t stop thinking about it.

⸻

“you’ve got that look again,” house says, leaning into his office like a vulture.

“what look?” wilson asks, not looking up from the file in front of him.

“like you’re planning a murder. or writing a love letter.”

“i’m working.”

“you’re sulking,” house corrects.

wilson sighs, saying nothing.

⸻

the problem is, you’re not wrong about him.

you see right through the charm, the practiced calm, the emotional sleight of hand.

you don’t call him out on it. you just look at him.

like you know.

like it’s obvious.

he hates it.

he hates you.

he also, somehow, wants you to do it again.

⸻

he thinks about you in places he shouldn’t.

at night, when he’s brushing his teeth.

in the car, waiting at red lights.

during meetings, when you’re not even there.

sometimes he imagines arguing with you just to see what you’d say. other times he imagines you kissing him mid-sentence to shut him up.

... he doesn’t like admitting this to himself.

doesn’t like what it says about him.

⸻

“you’re patient,” cuddy told him once. “you’re the nice one.” he thinks about that a lot.

he wonders what she’d say if she saw him now; biting his tongue until it bleeds, because you made a comment about his latest consult. it was technically accurate, but also humiliating and he kind of wants to die and/or kiss you about it.

he wonders what you’d say if he snapped.

(he won’t.)

(probably.)

⸻

one day you stop by his office to borrow a file.

you knock once, step inside without waiting, and say something so neutral and mundane that it shouldn’t make his chest ache, but it does.

your voice is calm. your sleeves are rolled up. you don’t even glance at him as you flip through the papers on his desk.

he watches you for maybe two seconds too long.

you notice.

you raise an eyebrow. “what?”

he says, “you’re exhausting.”

you blink. then smile. “likewise.”

and you leave. like nothing just happened.

⸻

he puts his head in his hands and laughs.

he hates you. god, he hates you.

he wants you to ruin his life.

(he suspects you already have.)

ooooo good good!!!!! definitely expect some in ur inbox then. so — we know that wilson canonically has a somno kink… what are your thoughts? bc I haven’t been able to think about anything else but waking up to him taking me like that for months now…🫢 immediate need.

love, 💌

oh anon...you have no idea how much I love you

ANYWAYS I had no idea this was canon and am very very curious when we learn this (I can't find a clip or anything online)

I actually find this superrrr hot. I personally think that Wilson is an absolute FREAK. a perv for lack of better words. I can imagine him seeing you already asleep in bed when he gets home, another late night. it was a rough day, and wilson is simply craving release. he considers waking you up, but he doesn't want to bother his lover with his current frustrations. he grabs something to eat, and a beer. he finishes his food and weighs his options. he could wake you up and hope that you're not mad at him for disturbing you, not a great choice. he could jerk off, not terrible, but why would he use his hand when you're right there? lying innocently in your shared bed, he sighs at the sight. he remembers a long time ago when he'd mentioned waking you up with his tongue, he remembers the blush across your cheeks when he said it. it's not that different, he convinces himself as he begins to strip from his work clothes. sliding his blazer off and tossing it carelessly onto the floor. his tie had been undone since he arrived home, his dress shirt being the next thing to come off. sliding gently down his shoulders as it drops to the floor alongside his blazer and tie. he carelessly undoes his belt and unbuttons his slacks. he glances at your sleeping form, imagining the things he'll do. he steps out of his slacks before walking over to the bed. you look stunning, so relaxed and comfortable. it's like you're drawing him in. he places a gentle kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before trailing down to your neck. he resumes his kisses as he slides his boxers down. he gives himself a few lazy strokes before focusing his attention on you. he knows you're a heavy sleeper, and that his light kisses won't wake you. however, his fingers slipping inside your panties might be a bit more likely to wake you. his fingers slide between your folds, gently exploring before he pulls them back out. he sticks two of his fingers into his own mouth, coating them with saliva. he then pulls your panties to the side. his fingers delicately brush over your clit before he brings them lower, he slides one finger into you with ease. 'fuck' he whispers to himself. you clench around him involuntarily.

he opts to slide in a second finger, hoping to warm you up quickly. his fingers stretch you, as they always do. he feels your pussy getting more wet with each thrust of his fingers. he pulls them out quickly, his calm and collected mask slipping as he rubs your wetness across his cock. he strokes himself once more before rubbing his tip between your folds. he slowly begins to slide inside of you. he bites down on his knuckle to muffle his moans. he moves slowly as you clench around him again, still asleep. his pace speeds up slightly, he throws his head back as a soft moan escapes your lips. James attention is quickly on you. he tenses up instantly. 'why didn't I think of what happens if she wakes up' his mind races with a whirlwind of thoughts. he releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding when you didn't stir. he resumes his thrusts into you at a brutal pace as he chases his high, taking the frustrations of his day out on you. you feel a familiar sensation in your stomach as you wake up. a tight, full feeling that causes waves of pleasure to wash over you. James had his eyes closed as he bites down on his finger, silencing his pathetic moans. he looks down at you a moment later, quickly realizing that you're awake. he freezes when he meets my eyes. you had joked about waking eachother up with head, but never expected something like this. "honey I didn't want to wake you I just-" before he can finish you cut him off. "don't stop now, I'm so close…" he cocks his head to the side with surprise and curiosity. "o-okay" he says hesitantly as he thrusts into you once more, his pace slower than before, more careful. "James, faster, please" are all the words you can muster as a coil tightens in your stomach. James increases his pace as his fingers find your clit, rubbing harshly as your orgasm crashes into you. you scream his name, a string of pornographic moans spill from your lips. James' pace begins to falter, his thrusts become erratic and inconsistant. he cums inside of you with a loud moan, the only coherent words being your name. he repeats it over and over as he rides out his orgasm, chest heaving as he pants erratically. he pulls out and collapses next to you. at first, you were apprehensive when you realized what was happening. but as you came to your senses you realized how hot it is that James came home and just had to have his way with you. James sits up, turning to face you as he places a kiss on your forehead, "thank you" he whispers into your temple as he kisses you again. you nod and rub his cheek affectionately. "im glad you got what you needed."

I love you 💌 anon and I hope you enjoy please feel free to send any other thoughts you have (this is my first time writing somno so any feedback is appreciated!)

literally give me ONE chance with either of them

or both 🤤🤤

based on that one image on twt idk Sorry...

me but asmr

Having a comfort character is wild. What do you mean I’m imagining Wilson from House sitting with me while I watch sponge slime cutting videos