I Fear I Can Relate

not be cackling over here

Told You So

Evan: (Huffs and runs a hand across his face) I don't know what to do Reg! He keeps flirting with me like it's nothing, but..

Regulus: (Puts his book down and looks at Evan fully) But you want it to be something?

Evan: (Sighs) Exactly...

Regulus: (Props his head on his hand) Flirt back then

Evan: (Evan looks at him incredulously) You're fucking with me

Regulus: (Returns the look) Nope, now go

Evan: . . . . . .

Evan: (Groaned and begrudgingly stood) Fine, but I'm blaming you if this goes to shit

Regulus: (Smirked and followed Evan to the common room) We'll see about that

~ ˚.⋆ ✮ ˚.⋆ ~ ˚.⋆ ✮ ˚.⋆ ~ ˚.⋆ ✮ ˚.⋆ ~ ˚.⋆ ✮ ˚.⋆ ~ ˚.⋆ ✮ ˚.⋆ ~

Barty: (Smirks mischievously as Evan walks in with Reg following) Fuck, Ev, you're looking hot in those clothes

Evan: (With a straight face) Boiling actually, s'why I wouldn't mind if you took them off of me

Barty: (Goes bright red and tries to respond with equal flirtatiousness but fails miserably so he just sips his drink shakily)

Dorcas: (Grins and chuckles softly) Merlin, Ev, I think you've broken Barty

Evan: (Smirks ever so slightly) Hmm, I bet I could fix him in one night with me

Barty: (Chokes on his drink and goes a darker shade of red if possible)

Regulus: (Walks past Evan and whispers as he goes) Told you so

wow ur very smart for that chatgpt here l come

just had ai explain biology to me in marauders/atyd terms.. for the first time ever i might just pass my test?!

Draco Malfoy this Draco Malfoy that ok but what about Barty Crouch Jr

shes mine then

Shes a ten but shes writing poetry with a taylor swift fountain pen

fuck you

HA good luck to my future self when I go to sleep bc I just had 2 ice creams and 7 juice boxessss bitch

Ttpd is like if Folklore and Reputation had a child but it was babysat by Midnights

I need this fic bro if anyone does it I will legitimately kiss u thru the screen

Starchaser fic idea

Im gonna explain starting with the stuff that happens BEFORE the fic takes place

James and Regulus dated in highschool, but Regulus broke up with James at the end of James’s last year because he was considering rejecting huge offers from professional quidditch teams just to be closer to Regulus.

James gets dumped and has no reason to reject the offers anymore, so he plays for a really good professional team. He is heartbroken though because Regulus never explained why he dumped him, so in James’s mind, he dumped him for seemingly no reason. Regulus is just angry with James for almost rejecting the offers and guilty for breaking his heart and he’s just feeling all the feelings.

Fast-forward a few years (still before the fic), Regulus and James are both professional quidditch players, and James is married to Lily. Harry is born and shortly after, James gets a terrible injury and has to quit right at the height of his career. The baby and James’s injury put a strain on his and Lily’s marriage, so they eventually divorced.

Now fast forward YET AGAIN to when the fic ACTUALLY takes place

Harry is a teenager (maybe like 16) and James became and Auror. Hogwarts is doing a career day, so Regulus comes to represent quidditch. Harry goes up to him to ask questions and Regulus is like

“Damn, you look just like my ex boyfriend James”

And Harry is like

“YOU. THE REGULUS BLACK. DATED MY DAD???”

Regulus is shocked but also immediately fond of Harry (mostly because he’s so like James) so he starts to coach him. He tried to keep it professional and not even think about James, but one day Harry says something like

“I asked my dad about you two, all he said was that you dumped him but that it didn’t matter. Then he just went back to cooking dinner”

And Regulus is just like. Ouch. I fucked up, didn’t I? Because James Potter only acts like things don’t matter when they mean the world to him. He still doesn’t do anything though, because he doesn’t know how and he’s kind of scared.

The final nail in the coffin is when Draco is picking up Harry from practice and they remind him SO MUCH of him and James that he just. Can’t take it.

Anyways he talks to James and they make up (and or out) yada yada old man yaoi (they’re both like 37) all that good stuff.

Thoughts?

(Also this goes without saying, but there will be absolutely ZERO Lily Evans bashing)

my teachers know they don't care, but everyone knows me for swearing every other sentencee

Remus Lupin uses the word ‘fuck’ like a comma

I cackled at this

chocolate - jegulus microfic - platonic moonwater - @into-the-jeggyverse - word count: 258

“....so yeah,” Remus mumbled, biting slowly at the piece of chocolate in his hand and trying not to overthink the look on Regulus’s face. “That’s why I miss rounds sometimes. And that’s why James is missing occasionally. I’m…indisposed. And he helps. They all do. I understand if you think differently of me now, or you don’t want to be friends or..”

The younger boy blinked and sighed, scowling. “Remus, don’t be all self-deprecating, we both know I’m even more fucked up than you are. I just really wish you’d told me this about two weeks ago. Especially the Animagus part.”

Remus wrinkled his nose, confused. “What, why?” He wasn’t sure why a few weeks’ difference mattered that much. And really, the Animagus part was the least terrifying part of all.

“Because,” Regulus mumbled, grabbing for some candy as well, like he needed much more than chocolate to feel better, “Potter has been helping me with my Patronus Charm.”

“...So?” Remus asked, narrowing his eyes, still confused as to why that mattered.

The Slytherin gave him an embarrassed eye-roll. “Well…I finally summoned one. And…guess what animal it was?”

A grin slowly spread over Remus’s face as the answer hit him, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the blush forming on Regulus’s cheeks. “What was it, Reg?” he asked, voice a bit sing-song.

“You know it was a fucking stag, you berk,” Regulus murmured, burying his face in his hands. All Remus could do was laugh. That explained why James had been even more insufferably cheerful than usual lately.

facts

There are just two things I know for sure:

1. James Potter wears hoodies.

2. Regulus steals them.