Not Taking Any Chances

*insert calvin harris's deleted twitter posts about losing a big old beard*

Actual footage of me seeing this come up on TikTok…..

Oh.

Oh. My. God.

(x)

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure tbh

this diva

god loves you but not enough to save you

Smoking a caterpillar and I exhale a beautiful little butterfly

in the town. straight up "saving it" and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My town

Taylor wrote Question…? to haunt me specifically forever

Trump would be such a good drag queen like just such an unbelievably incredible and talented drag queen it's such a bummer that he's decided to be a fascist and a threat to democracy because that cunt would devour at the House of Yes

such a loss

A compilation of ACTUAL things Dan has said to/about Phil that makes me want to set myself on fire:

You're my plinth of life

You look good there, you look strong, you look powerful [...] you look lovely

I mean, Phil, your biceps are wonderful and you have nothing to be ashamed of, okay?

I think your personality is too adorable for it

I know us better than you do

You are an amazing morale booster and you're really fun an nice

You are so unique and amazing that no art can ever capture your essence

You have to get prepared to revenge my death and give me the rub rubs to bring me back up

I think the universe would rip in half, let's not try [going further apart]

And Phil, something I talk about is the importance of having people to support you and that's been you, throughout my life. Through the little existential crisis, you've been there feeding me snacks, and as annoying as you have been, at least you've been there

I will find you in any world, Phil!

Obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic, this is someone that genuinely liked me, I trusted them, and for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe. And the relationship that we formed at that point was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends, companions through life, like, actual soulmates

We’re like two 4,000-year-old tortoises just silently chewing grass, staring into the sunset.

Your fucking faves could never have that chemistry day one! Show me your favorite duo, I'll wait, I'll sit the fuck right here!

Best friends, arch enemies, husbands, business partners, partners in crime, soul mates, just mates, who the fuck knows?

Remote crisis manager

Moon butt

These little nuggets