I've Been Feeling Bad Since My Friend Pushed Me Into This Fandom. I Hope They're Happy In Another Universe

An absolute must read if you care about Jurgen or John and Paul, or George or gay.

Jurgen is very unapologetically queer.

What do you make of the infamous hunter davies phone call? Paul does not come off well at all so I do think it was meant to be private. Not that I think Paul would be tell Hunter that he & John did hand stuff or whatever regardless but I do think he truthfully has no idea what had John so upset w him so I agree I don’t think there was some big rejection in India (but then wtf is that get back scene) or elsewhere but I do think John seems driven by some hurt “the wound” as Lindsey-Hogg called it

ugh that phone call i hate it so much like he really wanted all that kept private & it's soooo one-sided like we don't see anything davies said, where he was leading him or not, what he was cutting out... it's just not good journalism, first off, but it's also just so disrespectful

but for the content like....... i think he was really twisted up and in a bad place. it was what, barely 3 months out from john's death? i don't really take Anything he said in that interview at face value like even if he had said "me and john used to fuck like rabbits" in it i would take it with a grain of salt lmao

but anyway re the wound...

i think it's important to note again that these are all fragments of what he said and not like professionally recorded- just written down while they were on the phone.

but i do think there were a lot of things that hurt john about the way paul had been behaving for years (& vice versa) that have nothing to do with their potential sexual/romantic relationship on the surface but i think it was all sort of tangled up. songwriting, friendship, sex- same thing, in what started as a great way and ended up pretty disastrous.

when john talks about the things paul did that pissed him off, he tends to bring up things like this incident w eleanor rigby:

and then naturally w the divorce he tends to bring up the money aspect, paul announcing the break by releasing mccartney and that whole scheduling conflict, paul's treatment of yoko & john's relationship...

i think what's Most Likely, to me, is that:

things started to strain around '65 with john & george doing lsd together and paul turning them down (& them subsequently being dicks to him about it And going off to write she said she said together, which is as far as i know the first time either paul or john actively wrote with someone else like that).

'66 brought the end of touring, john's increasing reliance on lsd to cope, being separated for months for the first time in years when john filmed how i won the war, paul working on the family way (which john later said was hurtful), and paul settling into the sort of "swinging london life" while john was stuck in the suburbs with a family. i think they were, for once, doing things very separately. they had separate lives, when they'd been joined at the hip since at least hamburg. john even later referred to it as them "living together" (in the context of, he lived with paul so he wrote with paul, he lives with yoko so he writes with yoko).

'67 just continued that snowball of Bad bc while they were very close for sgt pepper's, you also have brian dying and paul just continuing to push them all to work on mmt. and i can only imagine the types of insensitive things he was doing similar to that eleanor rigby account without realizing they were hurtful. it's also when john & cynthia's relationship was really starting to deteriorate. paul also proposed to jane in december.

'68 ofc had india, but i GENUINELY do not think anything super crazy happened there. i think they were sober for the first time in ages, meditating for hours on end, and just Thinking. with everything that came before it, i wouldn't be shocked if part of that thinking was about their relationship and where it was going and the beatles in general. the get back scene really reads waaaay too light-hearted to me to be indicative of any serious issues- they're smiling and joking around and paul at Most seems a lil uncomfortable that john's bringing this up in public. which just honestly makes me think that if that Was referencing them fucking, it was just a regular thing. and john was maybe bringing it up to try and poke a bit at that close relationship they had lost along the way. i think paul leaving early did probably set off his abandonment issues a bit, even if it was pre-planned, but i don't think enough to "hurt him worse than anyone ever has"

the rest of '68........ shit was a mess. you have john leaving cynthia for yoko, the cursed apple nyc trip, john & yoko staying with paul (which REALLY would not have happened if there was some huge rejection that made john hate paul), paul doing enough coke to kill a fucking whale, francie, jane & paul splitting, paul meeting linda and getting serious with her, the white album disaster, john starting to rely on yoko as a creative partner where he hadn't let anyone else in before like that aside from paul... just a nightmare all around and i think they probably, if they had a sexual relationship, let it fall to the wayside around this time. they're both busier, they're both in relationships they're actually sort of committed to now, they're growing up, etc.

but by '69, with get back specifically, there's a ton of tension there ofc- but they're still joking around and close and loving in a way that doesn't jive with the wound being some big argument i don't think. i think whatever happened, it happened unsaid. which leads to both of them being hurt, neither of them knowing how badly they hurt the other person, paul scrambling to figure out what he possibly did wrong to hurt john more than anyone in his life... like, to him, in this scenario here i find most likely, it would've just been a slow and meandering end to their relationship, sexual or otherwise, that culminated in john asking for a divorce and then everyone freaking out when he was the one to make that official. so it wouldn't fit with john saying he hurt him more than anyone. for john, i think he'd started feeling terrified as early as '65 that paul was going to leave him- paul was better than him (gotta love yesterday), paul didn't need him, paul was thriving in london while he was stuck in his house depressed and high, etc etc. all these god awful thoughts that only came true, in his view, when paul just let him go. i think john wanted a fight and i think paul thought that handling things peacefully would save the relationship. i don't think either of them really got each other at all, in that instance, and it fucked them.

JOAN BAEZ and BOB DYLAN during THE ROLLING THUNDER REVUE TOUR

they make me sick why are they like this

Ok ok ok so basically John Lennon wrote all these sappy love songs about soulmates who never got to be ("if we must start again, we will know, that I will love you", "No need to be afraid, it's real love, it's real") in casettes he was gonna hide forever in his basement titled FOR PAUL, told HIS WIFE that he is bisexual but only has a thing for men who is 'emotionally and artistically' connected with him, constantly referred to Paul as his "ex-wife" in many interviews and that they "divorced" after the beatles broke up, used to jerk off together (I shit you not google this) with Paul and his Beatles mates MORE THAN ONCE, used to have women leaving him because "he never looked at me the way he looked at Paul", and they say rumours about them are overplayed?????

Here is the Sunday Times McLennon article in full for non-British readers:

It's a weekly series apparently so I'm going to have to buy this Murdoch shitrag again next week, the things I do for you guys

craziest beatle interview ive ever read (playboy)

George and Pattie.

sgt peppers fem paul

JOHN and PAUL + eye contact