Hiya ! (?)

Results?!

Starting to see some changes in daily life once I decided to finally crack down and improve whatever feckless dance around life I was trying to do.

Finally getting a new bed for the first time in my life, I'm giddy with excitement since I no longer have to have a broken, splintering woodframe that catches on my hair and makes me want to cut it off. Big win!!

Time to happy clean I guess, today is good :)

<3 Caramel

New life, new motivations??

I feel like a new person. I don’t know what the mental switch was, but I really do feel like someone completely different. For the first time in so, so, long, today I got the urge to exercise! I’m saying goodbye to lying on the floor and never wanting to get up for the rest of my life, goodbye to my horrid self-isolation and unmotivated slugging around. I feel like I’ve stumbled upon something wonderful!

And even though I’m not living in my dream room or wearing my dream clothing, or even have dream grades- I feel so much better just living as a different person, crossing over through lives from a saggy, depressing one to a completely new and bright one! I couldn’t be happier for my personality of smoke and mirrors- after practicing, I can convince even myself that I have likes and dislikes now. I’ve started to enjoy actually doing things, and have been making myself a whole heck of a lot happier meanwhile.

After measuring myself, I can tell that I’ve definitely gained some weight from my prime. No worries, though- now that I’ve started working out again, and am enjoying it, I’m sure I’ll get it all off before my clothes arrive!

For now, though- it’s getting very late. I’ll be setting my alarm really early, excited for tomorrow for once. I honestly cannot believe how quickly I’ve started living in this personality! It feels so fresh to be productive and have the energy to do things now. I’m almost living my dream, I can tell! So, so close.

Goodbye for now, I’ll write tomorrow!

<3 Caramel

idk

I think I’m going to lose it honestly, not in the angry sort of way but just in the way where I’m so tired and there’s so much I haven’t done and it’s pretty hopeless at this point.

idk what I was thinking when I thought maybe I could turn this around but honestly so much has piled up already I don’t think I can do much

maybe it’s time to wait for another time to do this. Maybe when it’s less busy lol. I could really use a hug but idk if I’ll take it alright but I have my pillow so ig that’s okay

I’ve got quite a few things due tomorrow that I haven’t even started yet and I’m in some pretty deep stuff with my parents so no support over there. Christ I wish I were younger because then I’d be able to say I’m too young for this

No battery, works just fine

Woke up at noon today and decided to spend whatever scraps of energy I have left trying to clean my room. It's a real mess. Hopefully, though, I can have a proper cleanout- and maybe arrange it in a way that suits my dream! Or at least, the starting dream in a line of many.

I'll make updates on my room during the few days I'll spend making it completely different- so I can look back on it and hopefully see all the hard work that was put into it!

See that, life?! I'm still burnt out, but I'm going to keep working- I'll be getting straight 98s like my sister by the end of the year, I swear!!

Music player added!!

Holy moly!! After two or three hours of struggling, I’ve finally gotten a music player on my blog! I don’t think it’s on mobile but on desktop it seems to be working fine.

I’ve loaded a few songs that I like into it, but it’s pretty far from my actual music taste. Whatever, though- anything for aesthetics, right?

Anyways it should be right here on the top of my blog page! Unfortunately I was too lazy to make my own so I used a generator- but I feel like that was a little more trouble than it was worth since SCM’s method of using youtube links doesn’t seem to work anymore. I had to overhaul through discord, so that was a little time consuming figuring things out. :T

Glad it works now, though! Really adds atmosphere, I think. 

Now how will I get the rest of my old blog plans done..? I remember wanting to implement a guestbook and a little gallery on the sidebar. Might have to ask for help on those.

For now, though, it’s way too late to be thinking about all of that- I’ve got school tomorrow!! I should probably head to bed soon, otherwise I’ll pass out in precalculus again.

Goodnight~

<3Caramel

I really need a hug.

I'm so tired, but it's almost over... But I'm so, so tired.

Absolutely nonsensical how I have to get out of bed after all I've done for this world

Throwback to the time I spent a lot of money on a gift to Sen's little sister... I really hope she liked it (´;ω;｀)

Would you enjoy a gift like this?

Millionth time’s the charm!!

WOAH that was a weird time jump.

I’m gonna start working on myself again lol

It’s been too long and I don’t feel happy living like this so I’m going to start trying again!! Gotta work towards the life you want. Nothing comes for free, right?

I feel like I need that mindset that I see in disney movies and idol anime. Where do they get all their energy? Guess I’ll find out.

I took a photo of my dog today and spent the rest of the night distracted from my work (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)