Caramelsprout - CaramelTalk

Throwback to the time I spent a lot of money on a gift to Sen's little sister... I really hope she liked it (´;ω;｀)

Would you enjoy a gift like this?

A possible turnaround

Though it’s been a while since I’ve started my new room project, I’ve surprisingly faced no burnout so far. It seems like life’s being suspiciously nice to me, which gets me a bit on edge- but I’ll do my best to enjoy it while I can.

My parents have approved of my drawings for my room plan, thankfully. That’s a greenlight for me to continue to clean up completely motivated! And even though I can’t exactly feel it on account of some amount of emotional numbness, I do prefer the kind of energy I’m getting from this than anything I’ve felt before. It’s just a happy feeling, out of the blue, unprompted. I no longer want to do nothing, sink into the ground, or cry- I just want to continue and smile?

It feels good to make progress on accomplishing my dream! I’ve also made a custom search engine for myself earlier today- just to fit my dream as well.

Usually I’d show it to my friends, but if they ask why, “I’m trying to change my entire personality and life” doesn’t exactly sound swell from the other end. No worries though- they’ll know a completely different person by the end of this!

I’m off to clean, I’ll make another post later! 

<3 Caramel

no

no I don’t think I deserve this. Doesn’t help me get out of my situation but I really don’t see why I deserved all this because I do try to be decent I really do try it’s just that misfortune gets me and now it’s got a grip on my motivation.

This time I really don’t think I brought this upon myself because at the start I didn’t do anything wrong, I wasn’t lazy or anything I just suffered the consequences of bad luck and since then it’s been a negative feedback loop

I wish God existed because then maybe things would’ve been alright and maybe people wouldn’t need to suffer needlessly and have their lives withheld from them

But still I’ve been praying a lot more recently

-Caramel

Millionth time’s the charm!!

WOAH that was a weird time jump.

I’m gonna start working on myself again lol

It’s been too long and I don’t feel happy living like this so I’m going to start trying again!! Gotta work towards the life you want. Nothing comes for free, right?

I feel like I need that mindset that I see in disney movies and idol anime. Where do they get all their energy? Guess I’ll find out.

Froggy pot

I’m really behind. I’m very much in deep water. I’ve got a bio exam in May, a 120-hour school project is going to finish at the end of the term, I’ve got a ton of French work to do- I’m in a froggy pot, and the water’s already well past boiling.

Not now, not now- I knew this past break has been a little extra good to me. What do I do now? What’s going to happen? At least I still have time to get myself in order. I need to prioritize, but so much of what I need to do needs strict focus and a ton of time. What do I even do? I don’t know what else I’m missing. What else has gone forgotten? Why do I always drop the ball at the end? Why do I always give up?

Will I have to put my new life aside to sink back into this? What do I do? Oh god, oh lord. I’m really scared. But I do have time. I have more time than I did in the past when procrastinating. I’ve got a little bit of a grip on this, I think.

Chocolate ganache cake + matcha latte

Stress keeps ramping up no matter what I do and I'm getting really worried because I've had since pretty gross thoughts for the past monthish and they're not going away like I thought they would

Just the other day, my cousins painted my nails bc I was insecure about my hands- honestly, I don't deserve them, they're so sweet. Feels a little out of place, but it's alright. At first I was going to try to scrub them off, but it feels okay now.

Summer school honestly feels really polarizing right now, with my English class in the morning being basically free, and my afternoon math being almost four hours of nothing I understand. What's worse, my parents legitimately think something's wrong with me if I don't get an A in the more "academic" courses, like math and science. If I get a B, they might consider sending me to a shrink. Reality hit today, and I ended up silently crying in class. Sucks.

Math class consists of living off of straight copium and daydreaming about one day opening an imports store, so I'd suppose I'm not helping my case.

I'll get on it soon, I guess.

Sorry for the confusing post, I've been really stressed and remembered I haven't posted here for a while

I need to finish soon. I've gotten so.much progress done already but it's all going to be gone if I don't finish soon my stuff is downstairs I can do it

A slice of strawberry mille-crepe cake Nao got me a while ago.

It was so good, I miss it... (-人-。)

on the bright side one of my packages arrived but the quality kinda sucked :/ That one’s on me though, ordered from a bad seller