Friend Shaped

The professor clacked his beak sharply three times in the front of the room. The students, around 40 individuals, and many species from across the galactic arm hushed almost immediately. “Welcome back, class. The day for your first planet-side mission to Nemulon 3 is fast approaching, and we've still got a lot of safety training to cover, so let's get started.” The professor stepped aside to allow a projection to display against the board behind him. A picture of a blue, green, and gray planet shone brightly against the dark tapestry of space. Nemulon 3 had been discovered deca-orbits ago but offered a wide variety of biomes that were the perfect blend of challenging and safe to train new recruits to the Galactic Alliance’s Exploration Fleet. “Today we're covering some alien fauna you may encounter while conducting exploratories. Most are small enough that they won't pose much of an issue, but we do have a few category 5 lifeforms that you need to be aware of.” The display behind the professor changed from an image of Nemulon 3 from orbit to a chart topped by 5 images with their respective labels: karindru, oold, dini-dini, barintuna, and great lavalen. Before the professor could start in on the next part of his lecture, a voice spoke out from the middle of the classroom.“That looks like a dog.” The professor stood with his beak half open. He was certainly not used to being interrupted, let alone this early in the lesson. “A what?” He finally choked out. There was a pause as if the offending student was thinking better about drawing more attention to themselves before slowly putting their hand up in the air. It was a human. Cadet Valentina, if the attendance role had been accurate. “I said it… it looks like a dog.” Human Valentina inhaled as if gathering the courage to say more. “They're a carnivorous canine species on earth that humans domesticated thousands of cycles ago and selectively bred to be pets.” The professor’s beak closed with a snap and some of the features near the base of his neck ruffled slightly. “Nemulon 3 is 47 light years away from Earth. Any similarities between each planet’s fauna is purely coincidental, a product of parallel evolution.” The human bowed her head and said nothing else, so the professor continued. “Now, for many of you of larger stature, a single karindru might not pose much of a threat, but their real danger comes from their numbers. They live, travel, and hunt in packs. Thankfully, their method of communicating with each other in their packs are quite loud, so you will hear them long before you see them, and hopefully, before they see you. Typically you’ll hear anything from yipping, chirping, and howling.” “Kind of like coyotes.” The professor stopped and stared at the human again, feathers ruffling once again. “Another kind of canine species back home,” Valentina offered quietly. If the professor was capable of growling, he might have been tempted to at that moment. Instead, he sighed slowly. “I can assure you, trying to get close to these will likely end with your injury or death.” “Well, that's what ancient humans thought about wolves too, but then we bred them into dogs and now they’re our best friends.” “Karindru are not, nor are any native creatures on this planet, your friend. Not now, not ever.” The professor turned sharply back to the board. The entire class was dead silent. Few even dared to breathe. It was quiet enough, in fact, to hear the human mumble under their breath, “If not friend, then why friend-shaped?”

The human was promptly given detention and assigned extra homework of writing “I will not try to domesticate any native fauna on Nemulon 3” one hundred times by hand.

FUCK YOU DISNEY

Anyways, y’all better start saving your fave fanfics and fanart under the Disney labels cause it looks like they’re trying to curb fair use/fanworks and I’m sure there’s going to be mass panicked deletions even though it’s probably unnecessary cause AO3′s legal team will fight for us.

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celetya

10 months ago

Recent Smaller Pikmin Things (mostly Twitter Requests)

recent smaller pikmin things (mostly twitter requests)

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celetya

9 months ago

Clowns

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celetya

10 months ago

Hello Lovely People I Forgot I Had A Tumblr

Hello lovely people I forgot I had a tumblr

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celetya

10 months ago

Part 1

They help each other out :)

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celetya

10 months ago

Go for gold.

Just a quick picture for something I was writing earlier...don't worry about it

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celetya

10 months ago

Olimar is not having fun.

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celetya

3 months ago

literally everything having to do with ron delite is hilarious. doesn't know what he's talking about ever. became a criminal to fuel his wifes shopping addiction. so pathetic that he gets declared innocent for a crime he's guilty of. when asked a question by his own lawyer he asks phoenix what HE thinks. admits to a murder he didnt actually commit several times on accident. found a dead body and instead of calling the cops his immediate, innate reaction was to hide said body. when asked why he hid that body in the safe his response is that it wouldnt fit in a drawer. confesses to being a criminal but the court cant do shit about it because of double jepordy. uses his freedom to run a rehab center for thieves, only to sell heist plans to said thieves. also uses his freedom to team up with his wife to continue stealing. flirts with another man in front of his wife and also an entire courtroom

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celetya

8 months ago

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

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celetya

4 months ago

The batfam meet Jarro

Ok so this isn't dp x dc but I just needed to share this coz I made myself laugh a lot with this.

So a little context, Jarro is an alien "Star Conqueror" that was veryyy briefly made robin in Justice League Vol 4 #10. He was grown, named and adopted by Batman. Jarro even calls him dad (it's really cute):

Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's never mentioned again after that.

So yeah, with that in mind I had the crack idea of the batfam meeting Jarro and just being really jealous (while everyone around them is just: "That... is a literal starfish")

So a few lines I've got:

“Of course, dad!” Jarro says.

Jason jolts at that. Once upon a time, he used to call B that. He'd been the only one to do so. Not anymore.

Damian: I am the only blood heir.

Jarro: He was with me my whole childhood. He litteraly grew me in a jar. He named me.

“His bio father was a villain,” steph says caustically. “A global one, too. But get this, his dad flipped sides in the end and sacrificed his own life.”

Harper stays silent and Steph sighs.

“It just. It makes you think. What do you think I would’ve been like if my dad had been more like Starro?”

“More like the giant starfish from space?”

“Yeah.”

Roy: He looks like Patrick from Spongebob?

Jason: Oh, I see how it is. Fine! If you like Jarro so much maybe you should hang out with him, then. How about you join B to play catch with him while you’re at it?

Roy: He- he doesn’t even have opposable thumbs.

Jason: Urgh. That just mean B probably has the glove custom-made.

Cassie: He is the size of my literal palm.

Tim: I know! He’s pocket-sized. I bet B loves being able to carry him around.”

Cassie: Um

Tim: He rides on B’s shoulder! His fucking shoulder, Cassie!

Cassie: Do. Do you want B to carry you on his shoulder?

Tim: That is so not the point! And B has the gall to say he doesn’t have favourites.

“Good at hiding.” Cass observes. “Small.”

“He’s- he’s a starfish, Cass.”

She nods gravely. “No tells.” Then her brow furrow. “Can read minds. Better than reading body.” She hunches a bit. “Better than me.”

“It’s just I thought I was the only one with powers, you know?” Duke starts. “Not that I don’t like him or anything. It’s just. That was my thing you know? Or like, it used to be.”

Claire just looks at him blankly.

Dick sighs as he looks up to the ceiling, his head laying on Starfire’s lap.

“It’s just.” Dick halts, hesitant and his voice quieter than usual. “I thought I was the pretty one.”

(Ok, I'm done)

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