I Was Walking Through The Toy Aisle At Target When I Found This Thing And Had A VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE

In my silence I adored you

*Avenger's Tower Fanfic*

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Hey girl, what-cha doing down there? Dancing alone while I live right above you; I can hear your music playing; I can feel your body swaying

It didn't take a super soldier to hear the music that came out of your apartment. However, the one above you did understand the lyrics, not like most of the others that lived in the tower. He didn't mind it, sometimes, it became a soothing thing when the nightmares woke him up. The vibrations of the music and lyrics gave him was a micro-confirmation that he was no longer in the Soviet Union. No longer trapped under any ice.

"Okay, but how come you can't go one day without it?" Sam asked about your music during breakfast. You shrugged, "I have my space. It mostly stays in my space. Just like Redwing." Bucky snickered. Sam slightly aggressively turned towards his best friend-enemy man. "You live above her! What are your thoughts?" Bucky was slightly started by the question. "I-I don't mind it." You stuck your tongue out at Sam, putting your dishes in sink, and walked away. "You said you only like forties music." Sam accused as soon as you were out of ear shot. Bucky avoided eye contact before he cleared his throat, "I have to train with Steve."

One floor below me, you don't even know me, I love you

When that and a combination of other things didn't work, keep falling back into night terrors, Bucky would sit in front of his glass windows, curtains pulled back. At first, his eyes would wander the city lights. Eventually, his eyes would shift down below and see your shadow swaying and dancing to the music that was nearly never ending. It was a constant, consistency made reality easier to believe in. You were starting to become that in Bucky's word, even though you never would've known. He never mentioned it.

If you look out your window tonight, pulling the string with the note that's attached to my heart; Read how many times I saw you, how in my silence I adored you.

Sure, Bucky and you met occasionally during missions and Avengers' (aka Tony Stark's) parties. However, neither of you ever got beyond glances, brief introductions, and the incredibly rare argument-- sorry polite conversation-- that Steve, Sam, or Nat would drag the pair of you into. Both of you would roll your eyes at the dragger and their "opponent." Plus, the pair of you would almost always be against whatever Sam was arguing. Bucky appreciated the team effort from you. You were also a bit of a history buff which sometimes led to his ears pricking up to some type of familiarity that he could confidently nod along with or it would help him connect the dots with events that didn't include the Winter Soldier.

It took one of these little rantings of knowledge you had, Steve and Sam saw the captivated look that Bucky distantly gave you. They both also knew it wasn't just the words coming out of your mouth that Bucky was interested in, either. The pair of men shared an look. They knew their mission.

"Alright boys, it's been fun." You said getting up, heading towards your apartment. "Don't have too much fun without me." You waved as you hit the stairs.

The duo of men encircled Bucky. "You have a problem." Same stated as if it was obvious and something much worse than actuality. "Sam-" Steve tried to soften the blow. "No, he is in love with that girl and he hasn't said more than five words to her." Sam insisted. Bucky gave them both a confused stare. "Y/n, Buck, we can tell." Steve cleared up. Bucky's face went to complete denial. "No, I don't."

"Those eyes you gave her earlier tell a different story, Buck." Steve softly argued. Bucky groaned and put his hands in his face. "So what if I do? She's living a happy life...why.....why should I enter it more just to ruin it?" Sam and Steve gave each other soft looks. However, both of them were not going to give up that easily. "You're different now. You've said it yourself, you're not the Winter Soldier anymore." Sam stated. "Even if that's true...who said that she's going to....want me back." Doubt filled Bucky's entire body and mind. The pair of men were not going to change his mind in one night.

Only in my dreams did that wall between us come apart

Another night, Bucky added to looking down at your shadow. He wanted to go down and dance with you. Over seventy years ago, Bucky wouldn't waste another second to do. He would've swept you off your feet, literally. He would hold you close during the slower songs, inhaling your scent. Softly kissing your forehead, cheeks, lips... Bucky heavily sighed out loud, walking away from the window.

Oh my darlin', knock three times on the ceiling if you want me; twice on the pipe if the answer is no.

Sam and Steve showed up at your door. You gave them both a confused. "Come in...stop lurking at my door." You responded, letting them in. "So, how long have you liked Bucky?" Sam got straight to the point. You scoffed and slouched in one of your chairs. "Who said-" "Y/n, you never mentioned your knowledge about your so-called fascination with the 1930s before your first mission with him." Steve confronted you. You shrugged, "A girl can learn new things." Sam rolled his eyes. "They're both impossible, Steve." You sat up a little. "What do you mean by both of us?" For the third time that night, Sam and Steve shared a smirk and an idea.

Oh my sweetness *knock, knock, knock* means you'll meet me in the hallway; twice on the pipe *clang, clang* means you ain't gonna show*

You hummed the song you left playing in your room as you approached Bucky's door. You took a deep breath before knocked with the beat that Bucky could perfectly hear from your apartment below. He hesitantly answered. Then saw you, a small smile etched across his face. "It means that I want you, and that I want to meet you in the hallway-- granted next time it'll be on the ceiling but-" Your breath of words was stopped short by Bucky pulling you into his apartment.

~~ Sam looked at Steve, stifling a laugh, "There isn't really a pipe for her to say no to."

A Study In Intimacy

1 = Reading to Din

Words = 1207

Warnings = None? Fluff if that isn’t your thing

Summary = Din is jealous of you reading to the Child so you read to him

A/N = I wrote this pre-watching season 2 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

__________

Keep reading

JUST LETTING Y'ALL KNOW WHERE THIS BLOG STANDS.

mood: chief jim hopper, stuck in some interdimensional tunnels, lighting up a cigarette because he’s given up on life

To all the fic writers out there that are not currently writing. Either it's because of RL, health, writer's block or something has happened that have disheartened you. Thank you for what you've written, and don't ever feel pressured or stressed - fanfic should be something good for all of us; both reader and writer. You're more important than what you do, but thank you for what you've done!

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ☆ 😘

*unintelligible noises* I love you sm!!!!

Frankie cutting the backyard with no shirt. 🥵 I had to cut my backyard today and it took me almost 2 hours (my yard is huge, my city had constant rain & I also saved a few tiny frogs)! Some days I feel like a strong, independent woman whenever I cut my yard. Other times, I wish I had a Frankie to help out. Sorry for the venting…but anyways. Frankie if you please. Could be fluff or smut…surprise me 😏

can you blame him? 

pairing || Frankie Morales x Reader

word count || 828

content || suggestive but no smut, Frankie being perfect (as usual) 

a/n || please this is so cute?? also I just had to include the frogs bc I know for a fact that Frankie loves all animals

Frankie planned to get the lawn mowed early in the morning. He’s always been the type to rise early and tackle his responsibilities so he can spend the later part of his day relaxing without worry - but then he started waking up to you, so soft and pretty in his bed. The perfect distraction. So who can blame him when he wakes you with his lips ghosting over your neck and spends the majority of the morning tangled in his sheets with you, seeing how many times he can make you say his name through a moan?

The problem is that the early July heat is intense and Frankie is stubborn. He planned to mow the lawn today, so that’s exactly what he’s going to do. Of course, your offer to help him is brushed off with appreciation, so you decide to make something refreshing for what’s sure to be a tough job. Your homemade lemonade is something he raves about and soon, you’re cutting lemons as the sound of the lawn mower drones on in the background.

It’s admirable, his dedication to keeping his word. You know he doesn’t like the yard to look unkempt, and neither do you, but the idea of braving that heat is exhausting just to imagine. The  front yard is taken care of rather quickly and there’s a moment’s silence before the mower roars to life once more from the backyard. That’s the tougher one, the bigger space that requires more attention - specifically so he doesn’t accidentally harm your garden. You glance out of the bay windows to see him hard at work, his shirt darkening in some places as the heat does a number on him.

Once you’ve slid the pitcher into the refrigerator to cool, you dash upstairs to change into a sundress - a better fit for the hot day. The immediate cooling effect the dress has on you is lost the moment you pass by those bay windows on your way to the backdoor. In the few moments you were upstairs, he’s apparently decided to lose his shirt under the unforgiving July sun and you get an eyeful of your handsome man hard at work.

Even from here, you can see the shine to his tan skin, can appreciate the way his biceps flex as he maneuvers the mower in methodic lines. That hat of his is still on his head, protecting his eyes from the sun, and you’re sure that underneath it, his curls are even more prominent than usual. The sight of him makes you hotter than any hot day ever could, and suddenly you’re beyond glad he’s so stubborn, that he was so hellbent on taking care of the lawn, because the image he makes is something you never want to forget.

Your trance is broken by the sound of the mower sputtering to a stop and you’re quick to slip out the back door, walking quickly through the freshly cut grass. Frankie’s just standing from where he was crouched and there’s a bright smile on his face as he turns to you.

“Look at this little guy!” He holds his hand out to you, voice full of amusement, and you glance down to see a tiny frog huddled against his palm. “I saw him just in time. Isn’t he cute?”

“Yeah, he is.” You say, but you aren’t looking at the (admittedly adorable) frog. You’re looking at Frankie and the happiness that sparkles in his eyes despite the heat and the aches his body surely has from all the manual labor.

Frankie lets the little frog go in a safer area and looks at you, his eyebrows pinching together slightly as he realizes something up. “Whatcha need, honey?”

“Oh, uh… nothing, I just wanted to tell you that I made you some lemonade for when you’re… done.” You trail off slightly, distracted by the way Frankie pulls off his hat to run a hand through his messy hair.

He’s too observant for his own good. “...and what else?”

“Nothing! You just - I just,” You stutter, embarrassment flooding you at your inability to speak. There’s no stopping yourself when you reach forward to tuck a stray curl away from his face, your hand stopping to rest on his cheek. “I just think you look really good like this.”

Amusement lights up his eyes and before you can blink, he leans closer to capture your lips in a kiss and pulls you close by your waist, his hands greedily massaging your soft flesh. A shiver runs down your spine as he practically crushes you to his chest, just another show of his strength.

“How about we take a shower together once I’m done, hm?” He mumbles against your lips and a thrill shoots through you.

“Absolutely,”

Frankie kisses you one last time and ushers you inside with a smack to your ass. And if he rushes through the last bit of the yard, who can blame him?

{Taglist}

@silverstarsandsuns @luminescentlily @peterpstuff @freeshavocadoooo @i-ship-it-ironically @wyn-n-tonic @notabotiswear @theorganasolo @the-witty-pen-name @northernpunk @andruxx @bloodsuckingbastards @coldlilheart @gracie7209 @green-socks @lord-of-restingbiface @asta-lily @xgoldenjenny @mummifymecaptain @kaqua @h-hxgirl @amneris21 @omlwhatamidoinghere @mswarriorbabe80 @mrsbentallmadge @badassbaker @meshlababy @rosiefridayrogersunday @greeneyedblondie44 @iamburdened @everyhowlmarksthedead @jenrebloggingfics @xserenax-13 @paintballkid711 @la-lunaluna @princessxkenobi @lazybeeches @withasideofmeg @chattychell  @ew-erin @mrsparknuts @lunaserenade @jitterbugs927 @artsymaddie @thevoiceinyourheadx @a-skov @clydesducktape @himbotroy @wigwitch @marvelousmermaid @over300books @raisuniverse @castleamc @darnitdraco @xjsteph @janebby @cannedsoupsucks @mtjoi @triggerhappyflygirl @tobealostwanderer @lightsinthedistancee @elinedjarin @meanperegrine @itssmashedavo @lemonlime09

Why tagging female reader fics is so important

I’m starting to get really fed up with the lack of tagging in this fandom, so here’s a quick explanation as to why it’s so important to tag your female reader fics as female reader.

1- This should be common knowledge, but apparently not: not every person who reads fanfic is female.

It’s become standard to assume readers are female. And honestly, it’s just flat out disrespectful. It shows us non-female readers that you don’t care enough about our comfort in the fandom to do something as simple as put “character x F!reader” instead of “Character x reader”. It's incredibly othering and disrespectful towards those of us who are not female.

2- “Reader” can easily be assumed to be gender neutral.

It very rarely is, but there’s no way of knowing whether something is going to be gender neutral or not if you don’t tag it. It’s INCREDIBLY frustrating to start a fic and find out a few paragraphs in (or worse, halfway through), that it’s female reader. Not only is it frustrating, it can be triggering to some people: it can trigger gender dysphoria in trans people, bring up trauma from cis male readers that may have experience abuse related to their sexual orientation, and many, many more people.

3- It’s harmful to trans people.

Many AFAB trans people (trans men and AFAB non-binary people) experience gender dysphoria. It’s seen as incredibly dehumanising to misgender a trans person, and that’s essentially what you’re doing by assuming that all readers are female. At best, misgendering a trans person reminds them they don’t fit the cishet expectation society has of them. At worse, it triggers extreme feelings of gender dysphoria, memories of past (and current) abuse, and reminds us that representation is a luxury we rarely experience. It’s not just the pronouns either; sometimes I’ll read a fic and it’ll describe body parts that trigger my gender dysphoria (breasts, hips, reproductive parts, etc.). As a cis person reading this, it might not seem like a big deal. But trust me: it’s a huge deal. Being misgendered takes a HUGE toll on a trans person’s mental health. We spent a huge part of our lives being misgendered, pretending to be someone we’re not, and to read a self-insert fic and have the reader be gendered as female reminds us of the time when our lives were at the lowest. Trans people who don’t pass as their gender identity, who are non-binary, or who cannot transition, are misgendered all day, every day, and for many of us, fandom is the only escape… until we’re trying to read a fic and are misgendered there too.

It’s not as simple as “it’s not for us”. For me, it’s sometimes an inconvenience. Other days, it triggers my dysphoria so bad I totally shut down and can’t function for hours on end. And my gender dysphoria is much less intense than many trans people’s.

4- It’s not difficult.

It’s just not. It’s as simple as putting “f!reader” at the top of your fic. If you want to be extra awesome, you can put it in the tags too. Not doing it shows that you’re too lazy to respect people who aren’t comfortable reading female reader fics.

5- It’s a waste of our time.

You’re not getting any extra notes by doing this. You’re just not. If anything, you’re losing prospective readers. As a non-binary person, I occasionally read f!reader fics. But if I can’t mentally prepare for it in advance, I’m not going to be able to finish reading. Those of us who can’t read any female reader fics won’t be very likely to read any of your other fics, even if those are actually gender neutral. So we have to get partway through reading a fic that isn’t for us when we could have just scrolled past it. You’re proving to non-female readers that your blog isn’t a safe space for us, and it’s very unlikely you’ll get a second chance from that reader.

Please know: I’m not trying to personally attack anyone. If you didn’t know it was harmful, that’s okay, just start tagging your fics. It’s not difficult, and it means the world to non-female readers. I'm trying to be as polite and patient as I can with this, but I'm getting to the point where I'm done asking nicely. It's pushing a lot of people out of the fandom, and honestly I'm tempted to leave tumblr myself because of it.

You don't have to write for male or gender neutral readers, but telling people the reader is intended to be female is not optional.

Forever & Always// F.Morales

frankie x female reader (slightly no use of y/n or she/her pronouns just the word sister)

warnings: angst, language, tension, alcohol mention, mention of claustrophobia and slight description of anxiety, and language

summary: you moved away from your family and boyfriend at eighteen. when you come back home for your parents 50th anniversary you weren't expecting a rekindling moment with a certain pilot.

authors note: THE ENDING IS EVERYTHING AND IM SO PROUD OF THIS FIC! PLEASE LMK WHAT YALL THINK XOXO

masterlist

They say you’ll never forget your first. First crush, kiss, date, love and heartbreak. However for you, you could never seem to get rid of him. But you weren’t complaining. Francisco Morales was more than your first for everything, he was someone who held more than one could handle- he was your rock. Well that was until the day that “you” ruined everything.

Your parents were known as the sweethearts of your hometown. Marrying right after graduation, they settled in the same town and brought up you and your sister Em. Your parents were involved in everything, your mom being a teacher and your dad being a sheriff. It was hard to blend in to say the least. But there was an ongoing loop. Everyone graduated and stayed home. Your older sister, Em, even became a part of that treacherous loop. And you hated that loop. You always dreamed of big cities, fashion, traveling the world, but mostly just getting out of town. And you had promised yourself that nothing would hold you back from pursuing that. Sadly Frankie thought he could have kept you a little bit longer. But things change- actually a lot has changed since you’ve been back home for more than a weekend stay. Now you were traveling back home for your parent’s 50th anniversary extravaganza. And nothing could help prepare you for the next few days.

Your plane had landed around one in the afternoon. Grabbing your luggage you made your way over to the area where Em said she would pick you up. Looking around you didn;t see her red car. Dialing her number you were ready to direct her to your terminal.

“Hello?” Em said on the other line. She sounded groggy and as if she wasn't in the car.

“Terminal 47 remember.” You said angrily, Knowing she forgot.

“Shit.” She said, then another voice was heard.

“Babe what time is it?” You gasped at the sound of Pope's voice.

“Hold on, you first forgot your little sister's arrival at the airport, and you have Pope in your bed Em! When did he come back? What happened to independency?” You said rather loudly into the mic.

“Shut up. You're too damn loud.”

“It’s literally tourist season, getting a cab into town will cost me tripple Em.”

“Well don’t call the Millers, they went fishing this morning. You could call-” She said even more groggily. But you hung up the phone before she could finish her sentence.

You couldn’t take your sister right now. You love her most times but she would've killed you if you did this to her. You were gonna call the Millers but if they were busy there was only one person you could call. Hearing the phone ring you were ready to hang up. But then he answered.

“Hey, what's up.”

“Quick question: when did my sister get back with Pope?” You said rather too fast.

A small laugh left him, “That’s a long story.”

“Well I have another question for you.” You said getting nervous.

“Shoot.”

“Well Em, forgot that I was flying in today to surprise my parents and well I’m kind of stranded at the airport. Is there any way you can send someone-” Suddenly you were cut off.

“What terminal are you at?”

“Terminal 47.” You said softly while releasing the breath you were holding.

“It’ll be 20 minutes.” He said.

“Thank you Frankie.” You heard a small yeah and hung up the phone. And thinking to yourself. Yay reunion time.

✰✰✰

18 minutes later, that infamous truck he insists on always keeping, though it's as old as you, rolled up to the curb in front of you. He got out of the truck and damn does he look like the same senior in high school you were swooning over. I mean he’s aged, but not badly. He’s the same Francisco.

“I owe you one.” You said as he got closer.

“No worries, I feel bad about Em and Pope doing you like that.” He said giving you a side hug and grabbing your suitcase. He quickly opened your door, still never letting you touch the door handles in his truck. You slid in and felt a wave of nerves wash over you. The last time you were alone with Frankie was years ago when you guys broke up as he dropped you off at the airport. But you remembered time has passed and everything should be decent now. Well that’s what you hope for. Frankie had finally made it into the truck. He took a breath and looked at you.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi.” You said matching his level,

“So um how long are you staying?” He asked cutting to the chase.

“That's a long story. I’m not sure to be honest.” You said, Frankie nodded and began driving. Fuck the tension just grew higher.

“So um Pope and Em what happened there?” You said wanting to clear the silence.

“Well after Benny’s championship fight, there were lots of beers and then all of a sudden it was like prom all over again with them. Running away for a week and then committing to another relationship. Except this time it seems permanent.” He said constantly looking over to see you in the passenger seat like it was prom night again.

“Dear god, no wonder she didn’t update me on the fight at all. She was with him and didn't want me to find out.” You said chuckling.

Em and Pope were like your parents except they had more problems than a math textbook. They had gotten together in high school and that’s how your friend group formed. You being the younger sister of Em always having to tag along with her fr town events and football games. None of the boys minded but it was the classic my sister's boyfriend's best friend is the one for me. You became Frankie’s date for every outing, and soon you put a label on you both. But when it was your turn to leave for college Frankie and you split. Heartbroken ever since that day. Because you had to stay loyal to him when he left but he couldn’t take the fact that you wanted to leave your small town for good.

“You could get ready at my place and we could go to your parents together. That's only if you're ok with it?” He said.

“Yeah that sounds great. Thank you again Frankie.”

✰✰✰

Frankie’s house was exactly how you imagined it. Pictures and memorabilia everywhere, the smell of fresh wood and sunflowers. He had a small vegetable garden on the side of his house, and he used to always dream of having a house with a pool, so it wasn’t a surprise that you saw a good size one in the backyard.

You walked in more and saw a bunch of pictures on a wall. Glazing over them you saw some with you, and most of them were of him in the army. You walked over to the couches where there were more pictures. In a frame there was a picture of you two on your graduation day. Frankie wore your cap as you kissed his cheek. You smiled at that memory. It was the day after he came back from bootcamp, with him surprising you, both of you worried he wasn't gonna make it.

Frankie had shown you his bathroom. Where you got ready. Leaving the bathroom you walked out to see Frankie waiting for you.

“Wow you look amazing.” He said in a breathy tone.

“Thank you.” You said as you feel your cheeks heat up.

“No seriously, you look great.” He said to reassure you. You walked up and offered your hand.

“Francisco Morales, will you be a gentleman and join me tonight?”

“When have I ever said no to you?” He asked as he took your hand.

“I can think of a few times.” You laughed as you both walked to his truck.

For  once in a long time you felt as if Frankie and you were good. Good as in being together again. But only fools dream like that. Right?

✰✰✰

At your parents' anniversary party everyone and anyone was there. Your parents and friends were surprised to say the least and you enjoyed every minute of it. Your group was sitting around the table enjoying drinks and memories, it felt like you never left. Frankie was sitting by your side, and every so often it looked as if he wanted to be closer to you so you took the initiative to slowly move closer. When his arm was behind you, you were finally content, and based on his smile so was he.

“Care to dance?” You asked Frankie.

“Do I have to remind you how horrible we are at dancing?” He said laughing through his response.

“You owe me one dance, remember?” You said smiling knowing Frankie can’t say no now.

Standing up he offered you his arm and you both made your way over to the dance floor.

Moving to the beat, you were both entangled in limbs, but a bright smile displayed on everyone as they watched you and Frankie become those kids who pined for each other for all those years.

“It’s sad.” Em said to the table.

“On what?” Benny asked cluelessly.

“Pendejo. He promised her that he would only dance with her one more time at their wedding. They were supposed to be the next couple to celebrate fifty years together in this town.” Santiago said, looking at his best friend and you.

Frankie and you were laughing and talking but as a slow song came on you both stayed on the dance floor. Unknowing of the conversation that was going on with your group.

“I missed you.” Frankie said.

“There's not even a way to describe the feeling of how much I missed you.” You said, placing your head on his chest. Frankies grip tightened around you, as if he was scared that he was going to lose you. Again.

“I’m sorry.” You said softly.

“No. No apologies. Just be with me. Right here in this moment. Not the past or the future.”

“Frankie?” You asked, to which he hummed to be his response.

“Promise me this won’t be our last dance?” Your voice cracked as you spoke.

“Promise me you won’t be gone as long as you have been.” He spoke softly, as almost he was about to break. You nodded, not being able to form words. A small kiss was placed on your head from him. This was the way you used to seal promises.

It wasn’t until speeches and cake till your night was ruined. Everyone gathered around where your parents were. Your parents holding a microphone and giving thanks.

“Since we were kids this town has done nothing but helped us. We found true love in this zip code and we raised our wonderful kids here. Our oldest is striving to become a wonderful teacher like her mom and our youngest has been working her heart out since she was handed a highschool diploma. We thank all of you for your support and well wishes towards us and our family.” Your dad spoke as everyone clapped to his thoughtfulness.

“Though we are here celebrating our wonderful fifty years together. We are beyond grateful to have both of our children here tonight with us.” Your Mom spoke and pointed towards you and Em. Will and Benny both hollered and squeezed us together. Small laughter erupted.

“I have been blessed with such an amazing neighborhood, life, and soulmate but I am even more blessed that our youngest was offered a position in London while our oldest will be taking my place the next school year. Thank you all again and enjoy.”

Suddenly it felt claustrophobic. Everyone turned to say congratulations to you. You were surrounded and all you needed was an escape. But everyone was hugging and asking you questions.

While your own thoughts were running wild. How did your mom know about London? You didn’t take the job. Where’s Frankie? Oh my god where’s Frankie? The one that stuck out the most was you had to clear this up with your parents and especially Frankie. Em grabbed you and dragged you away.

“London?” She screamed and questioned. You began shaking your head.

“No, no, no!” You yelled back at her. Your mom had come up to you both and intervened.

“Mijas, what's wrong?” She asked.

“Mom, how did you know about London?” You asked, growing impatient.

“You buttdialed me in one of your meetings. ‘M sorry honey if you had a whole idea to tell us and if I ruined it-”

“Mom, I didn’t take the London job. I took the position of being media manager. A job where I could live here. Be here with, ugh fuck!” You screamed the last part feeling all the emotions rush through you. Benny, Will and Santiago walked over towards you. You wanted to burst out crying knowing Frankie had left. Again.

“Where is he?” You ran up to Benny. Benny shook his head and began to speak.

“He um, he left. We don’t know where too though. Maybe the creek?”

You looked towards Pope and he had a sorry gaze towards you. No you're not taking apologies. You need to make this right.

“Give me keys.” You raised your hand outward. Pope placed his keys and you din;t even say thank you. You just ran towards the cars.

You drove past the creek, school, and finally you saw the truck in his driveway. You parked quickly and ran towards the door. Tears already welling up your eyes. When you knocked and there was no answer to the door your heart began to speed up. Pope had to have keys to his place. And luckily you found the fit. Opening the door you searched for him, but he was sitting on the couch ushering a whiskey.

“Frankie please let me explain.” You said as you rounded the corner.

“Explain what?” He said moving towards the kitchen, that's when you saw his tear stained cheek.

“Explain how you're gonna move to London, how you’re gonna be able to do what you always wanted to do. You already left once, why do it twice?”

“Frankie.”

“Do you know how much joy I have when you call or text me. Or when you even fucking show up for your weekend here once a year. Do you know how much I yearn to gain a little more from you?”

“Frankie please.”

“No, please go ahead and break me one more time.” He said.

“Frankie, I didn’t take the job.” You had lost your temper and began to lose your control over your voice.

“What?”

“Do you know how much I yearned for you to call me and tell me to come back home? Do you know how lonely I was? I cried every night for two months, every holiday, birthday. I know I could live without you but fuck Frankie I didn’t want too.” Frankie had now moved back from behind the kitchen counter to be in front of you.

“Frankie, I was scared. I was a kid and I was so in love with you. I made myself board that airplane and I regretted it the instant I buckled my seatbelt. I wanted to see the world, but the only thing I truly wanted was to see the world with you.” At this point tears were both falling freely between the two of you.

“I only came back home to make sure this is what I wanted. To make sure that I would hate London. I came back to see if I could fix my mistakes.”

“Where are you working?” Frankie had now asked.

“I took the media manager position. I can work wherever I want.” You said now quietly. Frankie nodded trying to comprehend everything. Twenty minutes ago he thought he had lost you again, but now here you were in his house, confessing to him that you were too in love with him, that you cried everyday just like he had.

“Frankie please say something.”

“You’re not leaving?” He asked another question which drove you past patience.

“Frankie I will leave right now if you don’t-” Suddenly you were embraced by his lips. Before you could withdraw your mind from its far places, his arms were around you. You felt that rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left you limp. Just like he did all those times before. He kissed you, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made you cling to him. His insistent mouth was parting your shaking lips, sending wild waves along your nerves, evoking from your sensations you had never known you would be capable of feeling again. And before a swimming giddiness spun you round and round, you knew that you were kissing him back.

You pull away slowly. But then you both were kissing again. It shows you that every other kiss you’ve had without Frankie has been wrong. Both of you are kissing like crazy. Like your lives depend on it. Frankie’s tongue slips inside your mouth, gentle but demanding, and it’s nothing like you've ever experienced with him before. Your fingers wrap around his hat and pull it off, and move to grip his hair, pulling him even closer. He pushes you backward and you’re up against the kitchen table. The weight of his body on top of yours is extraordinary. You feel him—all of him—pressed against you. His face has his signature stubble and it rubs your skin but you don’t care, you don’t care at all. He feels wonderful. His hands are everywhere, and it doesn’t matter that his mouth is already on top of yours, you want him closer but he pulls away.

“You promised me forever and always. Is it forever now?” He asked with a certain amount of need in his voice. You nodded quite ferociously and pulled him in to seal the deal.

“Forever and always Francisco. You will have me forever and I will always love you.”

Leaning forward he sealed the deal, and for a long time it won't be the last seal the deal kiss.

Had a long talk with a friend about tumblr after going on hiatus. I didn't actually know if I'd ever touch my beloved hellsite again.

Because... I'd hit a breaking point. I couldn't stand it anymore.

There's so much bullshit everywhere you look.

So much goddamn drama.

I'm an observational person by nature. I watch and I pay attention. I'm always cataloging information whether I mean to or not. It's just how my brain works.

And all I saw was... Pain.

Everyone hurting each other for no reason other than a difference in opinion on FICTIONAL PEOPLE. That exist in a world that is also FICTIONAL. Or about CELEBRITIES that they will never know on a personal level.

We can all feel close to an actor or musician, etc.

But in the end?

We don't know these people.

We get shown a side of who they are.

They're actors. Some of them so mind-blowing at it that it's breathtaking. Wouldn't you think they could present a certain persona if they wanted to? Anytime they wanted to?

I'm not saying what we're seeing isn't real. That who they're presenting to us isn't true to them.

I'm not saying it isn't organic.

What I'm saying is that we don't know them on a personal everyday life level to be able to properly evaluate what kind of person they are.

Belittling and torturing someone with emotional trauma? Because of that?

That mentality is in need of a sharp hip check.

When I say that what I mean is this:

Sometimes you get so deeply immersed in a world and a way of thinking that reality slips away a little. You stop seeing things as clearly. As rationally. You stop seeing people as people.

I've personally had to hip check myself many times in the last year. Many, many, times. Because I got caught up in the euphoria of it all.

I acquired blorbo vision.

Several times I had to pull back, take those blorbo vision glasses off, and take a breath.

Reevaluate.

I would take time to consider if the things that were upsetting me were something that merited it. If it was something of any actual consequence.

And every time?

It wasn't.

It didn't matter in the face of human decency.

It didn't matter because fandom is make believe.

Every inch of it is fiction. Even the ones that revolve around real people. It's all fiction.

But what isn't fiction?

The person behind your favorite blog isn't fiction.

The person behind the blog that makes you feel like screaming and cursing isn't fiction.

But the arguments?

That goes back into fiction land.

There's dissecting a film because it's fascinating or vile.

Then there's thinking that moment of fiction is worth someone taking their life. That we need to argue over the merits of something that happens in fiction like it's on our own front porch. That something happening in fiction has any bearing on real life ideals.

I have been in fandom for over twenty years.

I am a card carrying elder at this point.

And this shit? This new wave of toxic mental warfare?

Fuck that shit.

All of it.

I would say that fandom in it's current form can go to hell but, it already is hell.

My friend did talk sense into me about the situation, though.

Going forward it's gonna be idgaf land:

I'm tried of censoring my opinions.

I'm tired of fandoms bullshit politics.

I'm tired of the drama.

I'm tired of being told what I should think and who I should be and what is acceptable for me to feel.

That shit? Can get fucked. I'm done with it.

Fandom is for fun.

Fandom is for screaming yourself hoarse to your friends about how much you love a character, a show, a book, a graphic novel, a band; anything and everything that makes you feel like a four year old with your brain all lit up like it's fucking Christmas morning.

It is not about being pushed into a goddamn box and being told to behave.

It's not about being shunned for having your own opinions and emotions.

It's not about being told you'll have your privileges removed if you step out of line.

A line that someone else has drawn with invisible ink.

That shit? Can also get fucked.

Say goodbye to censoring and hello to idgaf I'm here to enjoy my blorbos and be stupid. 👋👋👋

Fandom is for fun.