Caught Up W After School Lessons For Unripe Apples 🍎🍏

A Coward Called Endeavor

I'm wary of wading into the discourse because I'm seeing the unhinged bs my friends are getting, but from my viewpoint I think people miss something important about Dabi-Enji-Shouto and Enji's role in saving Touya -

Enji only tried to be an actual father for one of them and it wasn't Shouto.

No, I know that sounds crazy but we had a toddler whose immediate reaction to seeing his father was being upset and alert that the father would bully his mother. Shouto has never seen Enji the Father, he's only seen a monster named Endeavor.

That's important. Natsuo, heck, Fuyumi to some extent since she was really Rei's girl, none of them had this:

We only see this smirk head on in the manga, but I think this anime shot put it into perspective for me what I'd been mulling over for years, too uncomfortable with the simple truth of what's going on here:

The only Todoroki child who had Enji as a father was Touya.

For a brief few years, Touya was the apple of his eye. And, no, he wasn't replaced with Shouto, not in Enji's eyes. Because Enji uses the word livestock for Shouto. Because Enji was an aggressor from the beginning with Shouto. There was never a moment where this simple sort of moment, a little boy looking up into his father's prideful face as he copied his movements, happened between any of Enji's children besides Touya.

That's why Dabi's like this. It's harder for him to forget Endeavor when he isn't Shouto; he was never "an extension" of Endeavor's drive, but for a short period, he was treated as his actual son before he was thrown away.

So - what does this even mean? Why is it important that the only one with an actual "father" until Endeavor got some sense knocked into him via seeing the Pillar of Peace crumble is Touya?

Because it means Todoroki Enji is a fucking coward, that's what.

We know he's ran away from facing his failures time and time again, but never is more indicative of his cowardice when he got too scared to be a father and decided he wouldn't be. You see, that's why the other three didn't have him as a father - he doesn't know what being a father is. It's likely his own father died on the job, and so the associations of fatherhood in Enji's mind are just... being a hero. Being good at your job, so your kids can be proud of you. The actual parenting, the supporting your child, all that was too much for him.

This is Enji giving up, tail between his legs. He doesn't know how to be anything but "Endeavor", so he's not even going to try.

I really feel like people missed Rei calling him out here. He's running away from his duties and responsibilities to be a father. He fucked up with Touya and doesn't know how to fix it, so he runs off, and ignores all his other kids, and then just trains Shouto like a tool and an extension of himself. He lost his mind and saw his youngest as a simple extension of himself, like a hand or a leg. But when he looked at Touya, once, he saw a person.

A person he failed so many times. Failed to father, then failed to save.

I have a lot more to say about this on Dabi's point of view that also discusses the nuances Western readers aren't getting (like the ie system and his place in it), but when people say that they don't think Endeavor needs to do anything in this Dabi-saving discourse, I think they're forgetting that time and time again we've been shown that Todoroki Enji is a coward and if Horikoshi is serious about any resolution to this man and his "redeeming", it's about time he finally stops being one and faces his fucking son.

All of this has been leading up to him realizing it's nothing but himself that has caused this. That his own cowardice and hatred of himself has torn apart his family. That it's not about him as a hero.

These are the words of a man ready to finally start start being a dad, guys. Took him a quarter of a century.

A caveat: many of us have issues on the Doylist aspect of all this. I've said a few times that most of you are less upset about how Endeavor is being redeemed but the fact he's being redeemed at all, and I get it! The question is always about whether we need more narratives in media of abusers getting redemption, of victimized children reconciling with their parents. I agree fully that those of us who choose to not reconcile, who are unable due to the parents' beliefs or decisions anyway, are underrepresented in media. I know we want to see people like Dabi move on, stop hoping for a man who never knew how to show love for him to love him and apologize. Most of us, in real life, just give up and find love and healing outside of our parents. In many ways, it's healthier to go minimal or low contact with parents like Enji.

But I think that's not the story Horikoshi wants to write. He's writing what is essentially a trauma vent-work and wish fufillment all in one. In his fantastical world, families like the Todoroki one can reconcile, abusers can apologize and strive to make amends. It might be because he wishes this was the case more so than the reality that abuse victims know. He's made missteps with the Todoroki narrative yes, but I don't think what amounts to wish fulfillment on Horikoshi's part is bad-writing just because it's wish fufillment. It's just a very "happy-ending" solution to issues that in real life aren't going to usually see them and I think a lot of us are sick of them.

So, just keep that in mind when people say Dabi needs Endeavor involved. Enji created this problem, he has to fix it, not Shouto. You can't have a Touya at peace with his family if Endeavor gets to shirk his responsibility and keep being a coward.

For the Endeavor stans 😔👊🏼

Bonus:

I relate to Enji because we’re both hot dilfs

a song of ice and fire - rei & enji

bnha x game of thrones AU

The smile that was supposed to be there.

Can't go back

it runs in the family i fear!!!!!

Todoroki Shoto ❤️‍🔥❄️

When you’re the only one in the family that doesn’t have cold resistance

Endeavor:

It’s lonely at the top

BNHA 356 - Thoughts

First the leaks confused me, so I thought I'd wait for the scanlation. Then the scanlation confused me, so I waited for the official. But tbh, I'm still confused a bit with the central part of the chapter - Young Enji's appearance and what it all means.

It was a visually pleasing chapter, and I get why many people like it, but to me, it still feels a bit meh' because of how messy that middle part feels.

Tokoyami getting a big smash looked cool. And that's all it did. I wish this fight would bring back my immense love for the Hawks & Tokoyami content that I adored during the war arc, but so far, it just feels like an echo of the hype I felt then.

AFO eating the vestige. OK? I guess. AFO vestige stuff is so non-sensical at this point, that there is no point to comment.

Hawks is growing on me again. Him moving from wanting to score a killing blow to shielding the kids - this little featherless chicken certainly is pulling his weight in this fight. His expression as he turns to look back at Endeavor really got me.

He's not even surprised, because he knew that Endeavor would get back up, but also it's sad seeing Endeavor's sacrificing his arm.

4. I'm glad Endeavor is back up and trying to protect the kids who stepped in when he faltered.

5. On the one hand, his young self doesn't say anything shocking, but on the other, it reveals a deep self-hatred, that ties somehow to the loss of his own father, who died trying and failing to save a girl. We don't know much else. Whether he was a hero or a civilian. Whether he had the same quirk. Whether he was a good dad or another abusive asshole. Whether Enji watched it happen helplessly or learnt it later. It's all left open.

But what it gives us is a reason for Enji's endless thirst for power and strength, his obsession with All Might and how he turned to power to try to shield his heart.

It is tragic and sad and ironic how young Enji's loss of his family because of weakness leads to Endeavor's obsession with strength, which then leads to the destruction of his family at the first sign of his son's weakness. It gives context, but not an excuse. It doesn't lessen Endeavor's responsibility towards his family.

As the resident weakness expert said - there is more to strength than a strong quirk. Endeavor should have listened more.

I have to admit, Endeavor growing a flaming arm is a pretty cool visual - even if this is not the moment I'm waiting for. There ought to be a more emotionally resonating closure - something where it really feels like Endeavor is letting his "ugly heart" to be fully exposed and vulnerable, and fall to pieces, and where he lets himself grieve and accept and embrace both his own father's memory and his family who suffered so much on account of his "ugly heart".

The fight obviously continues, so maybe it will all makes sense in a few days. Until then, I keep believing that the story won't let Endeavor punch himself into redemption, because clearly his weakness has nothing to do with his quirk and everything to do with his heart.

(I this context also see Shouto's Phosphor coming from the center of his heart, and Touya's mystery glowing, which is also in the center of his chest.)