*waters plants, chugs three cups of oversweetened black tea, pulls up six half-read, poorly annotated papers, knits three rows of a frog stuffie, re-reads prompt and guidelines, tries to command f keywords in the paper, finds nothing, re-reads the abstract, realizes all the papers are useless, goes onto googles scholar and searches for the same keyword, finds new papers, reads abstract and intro, finds something super interesting, reads discussion and realizes the methods for this study were slightly different than what you were expecting, has an existential crisis, wonders why tf they're doing genomics when they're interested in hydrocarbons, sheds one tear, shrugs, types furiously and writes it up anyway with a quick sentence explaining that it's slightly different but still relevant, cries, does citations and slams computer shut, stares at the clock which has somehow gone from 11AM to 6PM in the blink of an eye, and proceeds to not sleep for another ten hours*
"yEaH, i'M a ScIenTiSt."
i love describing acid base buffers as "they turn the extra pH-ey things into the less pH-ey things."
lysenko is the mansplain manipulate manwhore of genetics and agrobiology.
no, my mind cannot be changed.
"what skills do i have" is of course followed by "what job do you want me to do, exactly? oh, right. that, the one that matches my supposed skillset. right. that."
i love that when writing cover letters, i have to keep going back to my resume, going "wait, what skills do i have again? oh right, i can read that kind of graph. let's put that down."
writing a resume be like "i promise i don't suck and i am capable of the stuff i will need to do for u. i'm not incompetent i swear" 。◕‿‿◕。
google's auto responses are killing me..
my friend (the sweetest angel who looked over my paper for me) has highlighted the work "Lamarckian," asking "what does this mean?"
google's auto responses?
"i don't know" and "sorry."
"what is this?" "i don't know. i wrote this paper. but i just... don't know."
alternatively.
"what is this" "sorry." no context. just sorry.
geoengineering be like:
no one:
absolutely no one:
some random scientist named dr evil: y'know what sounds like a really good idea? froth the fucking ocean, make meringue earth using CO2.
part of the scientific community: huh... y'know, what if we just... tossed a bomb? but like, into the ocean. in the middle of a hurricane. cuz. that works. 100%
another equally ridiculous part of the scientific community that is like 100% white military men: ...okay, but what if we put frickin hydrofluorocarbons into the atmosphere. yes, it will cause warming. we know. we just wanna. play god.
the HOYO artificial upwelling project in japan...
such a rip to feed all the lil phytoplankton-ey bois all that phosphorous, nitrogen, calcium, and silicon to ultimately have growth limited by sunlight... like bruh...
-listen to disney songs in your target language.
-watch tv shows with subs, dubs or both in your target language.
-find some pop songs in your target language and listen to them while you work on something else.
-when memorizing vocab, try writing the vocab in sentences, rather than just learning the vocab itself. try to make the example sentence as funny/ridiculous as possible, so you remember it later.
-try texting a friend who speaks/is learning your target language. you might surprise each other with new words, and you’re more likely to remember them if they have context, eg. talking with a friend.
have you ever done six hours of research, digging through at least twenty papers in order to get yourself to a surface-level amount of knowledge on a topic, write a two page summary that sounds like a five year old wrote it, and only cite five of those twenty papers?
cuz yeah. me too bro.