How Could Ford Ignore The EPITOME Of Beauty, The Universe's Most Perfect, Most Isoscelene (definitely

Coffee and Conclusions [Stanford Pines x Reader] FLUFF

Tags: Fluff, Young!Stanford Pines, Pre-Portal incident, just Ford being a sleep deprived nerd

When you went to check on Ford, the laboratory down stairs was in a state of disarray- even more so than usual.

Papers filled with hurriedly scribbled scientific notations, equations, graphs, and triangles(?) Littered the floors. All sorts of machinery bits laid scattered from an unpturned basket of them. And Ford? He was paced around wildly, six fingers clutching a crumple stack of papers while mumbling to himself.

You called his name, and he stopped his pacing to shoot you a grin that could rival the sun in it's brilliance.

"Ah, Starling, there you are! What time is it? Did you get the parts I asked you to fetch for me?"

"I did, but, Stanford, what is all this?"

You strode closer to the chaos, the eye of the storm- Stanford Pines who gratefully took the box of parts you fetched from town.

"I am close to cracking the code- well, one of them. I can feel it! I'm drawing close to an astounding conclusion!"

"And probably a heart attack." You drawled, eying the empty cups of coffee stacked high on his work table.

"So long as it comes after the portal test run!" Ford joked.

You fix him a glare and he smiles abashedly.

"By next week, we should be able to initiate test runs and optimization checks for the portal!"

"Incredible," you whispered.

Your eyes drifted to the triangular structure that towered over the two of you. It was dim in the lab, but in less than a week, it would be lit up with otherworldly light, buzzing with energy- if what Ford was saying was true.

"This could be the answer to all our problems!" Ford beamed, fist balled up in the air triumpanthly.

A hand gently yet firmly snaked around your shoulders, you were pressed against Ford's chest. You're screaming internally as you caught the scent of fresh pine, coffee, and ink on him.

"That's great, but are you alright?" 

Now that you were closer to him, you noticed Ford's unruly appreance. His chocolate brown hair was tousled and sticking up in places, as if someone took a vacuum, tried- and failed- to tame it. There was a coffee stain on the untucked hem of his button-up, revealing a bit of the soft skin hiding underneath. There were even more ink stains on the cuffs of his sleeves. His eyes were blown wide with delight, a contrast to the dark shadows forming under them.

His smile was easy and wide as he looked at you, eagerly waiting for any sign of your approval. You swear you saw goddamn sparkles in his eyes just now.

Somehow, his haggard appearance made your heart quicken. Damn this fool for not taking care of himself and somehow manages to STILL be attractive!

"Oh noooo, you've drank to much coffee," you groaned, stepping back from him.

A part of you mourned the warmth of his body, but it was getting hard to think being that close to him. Besides, you needed to set him straight- he's running on fumes!

"Oh yes! Yes I have, but that's besides the point, my dear. I needed to chase a certain equation that's been puzzling me and Fidds for a while now. I simply can't sleep, not when the solution's at the tip of my tongue!"

His words were hurried, you barely registered them as the sound of his velvety smooth voice called you "My Dear".

Your cheeks flush and you sighed, running a hand through your warm face.

"Stanford Pines, you need to sleep, it's been two days!"

"Sleep? Perish the thought! I need at least 34 more hours, if we're being generous, to figure out a way to stabilize the anti-gravity compression cogs of the portal-"

Ford was about to launch into another rant when he ran into you with his pacing. He wasn't the most coordinated and self-aware whenever he was sleep deprived. So your face bumped his chest, making you stumble back.

"Oh! Sorry, starling, I am feeling... a little  indisposed right now."

The nickname made you melt. But that wouldn't do, you needed to put your foot down and make him rest.

You quirk a brow as Ford chuckled wearily, clearing his throat and stepping back. When he wasn't busy talking your ear off, you can see the lines of sleepiness painting his face.

And here it comes, the wave of exhaustion- the crash that often followed days and nights of drinking coffee like water. Ford yawned, a hand covered his mouth. You sighed, shaking your head fondly at your friend.

"Man, you were always like this. Even in college. Come up, you fool. Rest up, new ideas will come when you wake."

Without waiting for his usual protests, you grabbed your hand. It was always effective in silencing him. You grinned at him over your shoulder before dragging him up the stairs.

Stanford was always weak to when you held his hand- especially in college. It seems that trait survived years after graduation. Six fingers curled gently against your small hand as he finally surrendered to your nagging.

"I have jelly beans waiting for you upstairs, IF, you promise to eat something filling."

Ford beamed, the apples of his cheeks turning pink at your promise and touch.

HEYA, THE NAME’S BILL CIPHER, BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT DIDN’T YOU?

YOU MISSED ME RIGHT? ADMIT IT, YOU MISSED ME. BUT YOU MAY BE WONDERING ‘BUT BILL, HOW ARE YOU HERE? AREN’T YOU IN PRISON? YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO CONTACT ANYONE.’

WELL SURPRISE, SURPRISE, THE OL’ FRILLY SHMUCK IN THE SKY GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE. AGAIN. SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THEY’D NEVER SEEN ME SO MOTIVATED FOR THERAPY THAN WHEN I WAS WORKING ON MY LITTLE DIARY~! SAID THAT I THRIVE ON ATTENTION AND THAT MAYBE IF I HAD A LITTLE MORE OF IT, I’D ACTUALLY LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM THIS HUNK A’ JUNK PLACE.

HA! WISHFUL THINKING IF YOU ASK ME! BUT I WON’T TURN DOWN THE CHANCE TO MANIPULA— I MEAN TALK TO YOU LOVELY FLESH GOBLINS ABOUT— THE HUNDREDS OF ORGANS PULSING AND OOZING INSIDE OF YOU AT ALL TIMES, WHAT YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES ARE, THE EXACT TIME AND DATE OF YOUR DEATH, PALMOLOGY, OR WHAT YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM IS, GIMME A HOLLER!

AND IF YOU’RE FEELING EXTRA FRISKY, MAYBE WE CAN EVEN MAKE A DEAL~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello little humans, this is the axolotl. I have given Bill this blog as a way to amends within himself and with all of you. I’d like to keep his words true, but from the blue I ask of you to take precaution. This notion is under my lock and key to prevent setting him free. Follow these rules to keep this blog in motion:

1. Keep your horrors in the deep, no pedo, incest, or other creeps

2. Do not spam or clog the ask box as this blog is not yours to hog

3. Remember there is life behind these lines, attacking it would not be wise

And please, try not upset Bill, we’ve had to replace walls and supplies and section off other patients as it will. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my rhyme.

"Bill, don't be so dramatic"

Also Bill:

Hiya Bill, romance advice anon here!

I've ascended and assumed the form of a delicious, crunchy chicken strip. Your advice is AMAZING! It was hard getting enough tinfoil to wrap myself with. But it was WORTH IT!

People do say that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach!

On that note, are you willing you share how one of your loyal followers could win YOUR heart?

Sincerely,

Just a human girl (Turning golden brown in 5 minutes, 425°F)

LOOK AT YOU GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND WITH TINFOIL! COLOR ME PROUD. (ITS THIS WEIRD GREENISH COLOR THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE YOUR COLOR SPECTRUM.)

AND AW WELL SHUCKS~ I SUPPOSE I COULD SPILL A FEW SECRETS FOR SUCH A LOVELY AUDIENCE MEMBER SUCH AS YOURSELF!

THE TRICK TO IT IS SIMPLE! GIVE ME YOUR COMPLETE AND UTTER SUBMISSION :D

GIVE ME YOUR NAME AND PUT YOUR LIFE IN THE PALMS OF MY HANDS. LOOK AT ME LIKE I CREATED THE STARS JUST FOR YOU AND OBEY MY EVERY WHIM WITH A SMILE EVEN IN THE FACE OF TERROR. SCRIBBLE MY REFLEXIVELY ON YOUR PAPERS AND WALLS, TRACE MY SHAPE OVER YOUR HEART. MUTTER MY NAME FIRST THING EVERY MORNING AND LASTLY JUST BEFORE YOU SLEEP. FROTH AT THE MOUTH WITH OBSESSION. LET ME WRENCH MYSELF SO DEEP IN YOUR VERY SENSE OF SELF YOU WONT BE ABLE TO TELL WHERE YOU END AND I BEGIN!

THATS HOW TO WIN ME OVER! IM NOT REALLY A PICKY GUY, ITS PRETTY EASY IN ALL HONESTY. I DONT ASK FOR A LOT.

Ford overhearing you talking to a dog and getting borderline jealous. But you’re literally baby-talking to the max like

Awww who’s a little itty bitty baby? Mr. Peanut, just a tiny boy. *sound of many forehead kisses* He’s my handsome little guy!

And he’s simultaneously embarrassed that he is getting SO bothered by it but also thinking, “Why don’t they talk to me like that?”

people making aus (including myself) of bill returning to the pines family but with no powers makes me think . bro hasnt used his noodle legs in years bc he’s always flying . and Thus i drew this

LA LA LA LA LA 🗣🗣

Parallels! :3

Those two are simply MEANT for each other is what I’m saying. Something something cannibalism as a metaphor for love…

@sixeritwouldeatyoualive did I quote you? Yes yes I did

God i hate them so much 👎👎

Cw for strangling/suggestive content

This is based off of this post by @leeseechkeens but where i went 'what if... old man...🤤🤤' and got so horny i blacked out and woke up with this on my canvas

Besties 💅✨️💕