The Self-indulgent Fanfiction Will Continue Until Morale Improves

Je Te Laisserai Des Mots --Chapter 4 -- (Hannibal regresses at the cliff house)

Here is the new chapter where Hannibal regresses! ohmygod I cannot believe it became 8k words (almost 9k), but I hope y'all enjoy it! Please make sure to read the content warnings in the author's note of chapter 4 because it is very different than anything I've ever written before. Enjoy <3

How do we feel about Hannibal regressing at the cliff house because he's so overwhelmed with being in Will's presence once again?

Because I'm already 6k words deep into writing a fic about it 😭 I've never taken this long to write a fic before (started in late January), but I think I might be cooking something up

saw a tiktok that said if it took u 30+ years to find someone who could see you for who u truly are, u would also fight tooth and nail for it the way hannibal did with will so why dont u just rip my heart as well while ur at it

Vulnerable Hannibal in any form is my bread and butter. But traumatized Hannibal is my precious little pumpkin and I can never cease to ramble and theorize about how that would impact Will and Hannibal's relationship. I think it would be monumental if Hannibal wasn't even able to make it to the gates of the Lecter estate at all during a post-fall visit to Lithuania.

Imagine all the trauma that the simple act of walking through those woods would unearth for Hannibal. How it would revive his fear of succumbing to the elements.

My headcanon is Hannibal was in fact traumatized by everything he went through as a child. He just lives in denial and repression until it's brought to the forefront of his mind while in a situation he can't escape. I know it might seem ooc to many people, but Hannibal losing composure is my fave thing ever; epecially when it's in relation to his childhood trauma.

Will takes Hannibal to Lithuania. Before the next step of their relationship can develop any further, Will wants to learn every part of Hannibal. Both past and present. He's aware of Hannibal's persisting reluctance on the matter. He's aware Hannibal is doing this for him; but also for himself.

Hannibal's words have dwindled into monosyllabic responses the moment they stepped foot in Lithuania. It's late spring; so the weather shouldn't be a problem. He knows. It's only the slightest bit chilly; a bite laced in the wind that seeps into his bones and leaves his mouth and throat dry; parched with apprehension. He's one step behind Will. Two Steps. Three steps. Four...

Will's heart plummets the moment he turns around to glance at Hannibal. He's been periodically checking in throughout their journey toward the estate. Not rushing Hannibal along is imperative.

This isn't at all how Will envisioned it would turn out: Hannibal frozen in place, both eyes clenched shut against an onslaught of unspeakable memories, arms wrapped around his own torso in the form of a subconscious, self-soothing hug, while one hand creeps higher and higher towards his throat. He's sucking in shallow, whistling breaths and clawing at his neck with trembling fingers; skin itching and tingling from the phantom sensation of a chain-link collar he remembers all too well.

Will calls out his name, soft and cautious, because Hannibal is somewhere else entirely. Lost inside his mind. Will's hand clutches and stills Hannibal's frantic moving fingertips; the pressure gentle yet insistent. "Stop that," is what Will intends to say, but Hannibal's reaction leaves him speechless.

Hannibal flinches, releasing a frail, tearful whimper (the closest sound to a sob Will's ever heard Hannibal utter), and soon enough there's a visible wet patch staining the front of his pants. Will pulls Hannibal into an embrace, uncaring of the putrid stench of urine.

Imagine poor Will being blindsided by it all. Especially the act of Hannibal soiling himself in response to his re-emerging PTSD. Imagine if Hannibal clung to Will with the desperation of a scared child, head tucked underneath Will's chin so he wouldn't have to catch a glimpse of the woods that have haunted his dreams since he was eight years old. Imagine if he could only muster a rasped whisper of one word ("home" in his native tongue), begging for Will to take him far away from here.

Imagine if this moment was the first time Will ever used a term of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, or baby) in reference to Hannibal + the first time Will pressed a grounding kiss into Hannibal's hair + the first time Hannibal experienced any semblance of Will's affection post-fall.

youre so generous!! can u do domestic hannigram where hannibal is possessive and jealous because will isnt home all the time and when he spies on him he realizes will was surprising him. its up to u what that surprise is or what triggers the jealousy! i hope its fluffy slightly angsty and housewife hannibal ❤️

god i love this prompt so much 🥺 i would love to!

I really wanna know what happened in Mizumono moments after Hannibal smelt Freddie’s perfume on Will. How did he end the visit? How did Will not notice a shift in the atmosphere with his empathy? Like come on, Willy boy—put that over-empathetic brain to work. 😩

And the dinner scene when Hannibal suggests they run away together, feed Will’s dogs, and leave a note for Alana—but Will doesn’t want to. I bet Hannibal was fighting back a sniffle and a tearful hiccup with each bite. You know that sore, sandpaper sensation in your throat when you’re about to burst into tears, but holding it back?

Imagine if while Hannibal was eating, he choked because his throat felt so raw and Will had to do the Heimlich maneuver on him—and it only worsened his emotional state because Will has been playing him and just witnessed him gasping for his life over a small chunk of lamb. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but Will believes it’s only a simple case of watery eyes. Then an ugly, voice-cracking sob bursts from Hannibal’s chest because Will is being so gentle with him—rubbing his back and asking if he’s all right (since he’s never nothing but elegance and grace 24/7)—and for the first time in decades his voice abandons him.

He hasn’t felt this off-kilter or this unlovable since he was in the orphanage—mute and alone—just waiting for someone to truly see him.

Will’s seen him—but he knows Will doesn’t want him as he is—who he’s always been. It’s a crushing blow. One he never thought he would have to experience because he never imagined meeting someone like Will.

me when i reach out first: ewww they hate me im annoying i should leave them alone

when people reach out to me first: YAYY THEY REMEBER I EXIST I AM KNOWN AND I AM LOVED

Thinking of combining my two favorite tropes together. Housewife Hannibal + insecure, emotional Hannibal experiencing release for the first time in three years and Will being there to witness it.

Let me set the scene: Will comes home to the unanticipated sight of Hannibal resting in the backyard hammock, cock half-hard, sun-sapped complexion a touch sunburnt. He seems to have slept through dinner preparations, entirely accidental—a first—not even close to a disappointment in Will's opinion.

Imagine Hannibal and Will's first time occurring on a hammock in their backyard beneath the sun midafternoon. Soon, the hammock is creaking and swaying, and Hannibal's bare ass is burning from the hammock's friction. He's sobbing and writhing because Will is gobbling his ass up like it's banana pudding, opening him up and pressing featherlight kisses against his cock every now and then.

(ALSO, TO THROW A LITTLE PINCH OF HANNIBAL'S INSECURITY IN HERE: imagine if moments prior, Hannibal was feeling insecure once Will finally removed his underwear because he hasn't had access to a razor in three years and it's genuinely a whole shrub down there. Hannibal's mind short circuits when Will says something like: "There ain't nothing wrong with a little hair, darlin'." and kisses him, deep and gentle, savoring his breathless whine, before diving in).

He's whimpering, breathless and trembling, and it's only been a few minutes. He isn't able to last much longer because he's so touch starved even though he wants to (out of embarrassment, out of the want to satisfy Will), and Will knows this. Will pauses when Hannibal's voice rasps through higher pitched, helpless moans, a sound so thin and wrapped in ruin it's nearly inaudible. But Will knows what's bound to happen, can recognize it in the twitch of Hannibal's thighs and the sound of fingernails scraping against the hammock from where they're pinned down by Will's own hands, thumbs stroking reassurance into Hannibal's trembling hands.

Will presses a kiss to Hannibal's right inner thigh and scrotum, where it's full and sensitive and sweaty (also sorry if 'sweaty' is gross, but come on, y'all, they're outside in Cuba 😭), and another sob falls from Hannibal's slack-jawed mouth. Tears are encrusted in Hannibal's wilting lashes, and Will thinks he's never looked more beautiful bathed golden in the ever shifting swatches of sunlight, cheeks flushed and chest heaving for air. Will can tell it's too much, too fast, too mind numbingly good for Hannibal to handle as touch starved as his body's become.

Will curls a hand around Hannibal's cock and whispers: "Let go, darlin', you don't have to hold out for me," and Hannibal busts a nut for the first time in three years. Bonus points if Hannibal passes out because it's hot outside and he's so overwhelmed (and he's in his fifties let's be real) and then Will rushes to dampen a rag with cold water and grabs three water bottles in a panic. Hannibal is only unresponsive for a few minutes, but it feels like a nerve-fraying eternity for Will, who's wiped his overheated body down with the cloth and shoved cold compresses (like frozen bags of peas or something because it's all they have at the moment) between his armpits, on his chest and in between his legs to cool him down. Hannibal's cock is softened, twitching in shock when he awakes moments later with a rising whimper, eyelids remaining closed.

It's cold--everywhere. That's all Hannibal knows. Will runs a hand through Hannibal's hair, murmuring reassuring words when it's clear he's unable to open his eyes just yet. Will carries Hannibal inside, placing him on the couch. Hannibal's cheeks are flushed, deeper than the result of a simple light sunburn, and Will knows he must feel mortified, embarrassed beyond belief. Will doesn't let it fester: Hannibal's shame that he's left Will unsatisfied, neglected, because Will never finished. Instead Will says: "It's all right, darlin', you'll have more than enough chances to make up for it." Even though there's no need to make up for it, because it isn't a failure in Will's eyes as it is in Hannibal's, knowing he can drive Hannibal to such a state with only his mouth.

*takes a bow* end scene

i am so excited to see what you come up with for kinktober!! btw please don't feel pressured at all to write any of my prompts if it doesn't vibe with what you're truly wanting to write <3 (also i’m so sorry my last prompt turned out to be so damn long omg 😭 my brain vomited it up on a whim and i couldn't stop writing lmfao)

13. aftercare: post-fall bottom!Hannibal feeling overwhelmed after their first time. Will cleans him up (and hand feeds him food and water) and whispers words of praise and assurance.

10. facesitting/overstimulation: Will gobbling Hannibal up until his thighs are chafed from Will's beard and he's a trembling tearful overstimulated mess.

21. bath sex: post-fall top!Will and bottom!Hannibal. Hannibal dealing with a broken limb or soreness from his gunshot wound (or both at the same time). He feels insecure and undesirable in Will's eyes because he hasn't had many opportunities to exercise while in the BSHCI. He doesn't believe Will could want him as he is (injured and not as confident as he once was). He needs Will to make the first move. Due to his injuries, Will helps him undress and get into the bath -- and washes Hannibal's hair and bathes him, telling Hannibal to relax. Will ends up initiating the first move.

31. Free For All: i hope it's okay to include 2 scenarios for this prompt bc i couldn't make a decision lol

Scenario 1 (Post-Fall): touch-starved Hannibal feeling mortified and struggling with premature ejaculation the first time he and Will are intimate because he hasn't been touched in three years. He's nearly in tears; overwhelmed and desperate all at once for Will's touch. It can be as simple as a hand job or full blown sex (whatever floats your boat). Hannibal wants to make it last -- to not disappoint Will -- and is whimpering and writhing the whole time because he's so touch-starved and sensitive. He doesn't last long at all and Will comforts him.

Scenario 2 (3x13) Alpha Will and Omega Hannibal: Hannibal and Will are in the car, driving to the cliff house. Hannibal is in the driver's seat and soon becomes visibly restless because he needs to pee. Eventually, Will tells him to pull over so they can switch seats. After a while, Hannibal is whimpering and shifting in discomfort as the pressure in his straining bladder builds, crossing his legs and sweating, desperate to hold it until they get to the house which is far away. Will is enjoying it (and maybe even teases him because it's the first time he's witnessed Hannibal on the brink of losing composure). Hannibal is feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed because it's the first time he's been in WIll's presence (within touching distance) in three years and he doesn't want to piss himself in front of Will. His bladder is becoming so full that he needs to raise the seatbelt so it's not pressing on his bloated stomach. He whimpers Will's name, on the brink of tears.

Will sobers up as Hannibal's distress heightens and gently strokes his stomach, reassuring him it's okay to let go. Tears of shame spill down Hannibal's flushed cheeks when he can no longer hold it anymore. Will comforts him the entire time and pulls over to help Hannibal undress from the ruined jumpsuit. He hugs Hannibal for a long moment, whispering comforting words and pressing kisses into his hair because it's clear Hannibal needs it. Hannibal clings to Will because it's his first time being gently touched in so long -- being held. Will wraps his jacket around Hannibal's waist so he'll be more comfortable on the rest of the drive. They get to the house and Will leads to Hannibal to the bathroom to clean him up. Cue their first kiss and comforting shower sex.

hiiiii, so as y'all may know, i'm doing @absurdthirst's Kinktober prompts, and i am taking requests for any of the days i haven't started yet!

the bolded, single option days are already either started or fully completed, but everything else is fair game. prompts that are italicized are ones that i have a slight preference for, but i'm not super committed to anything.

please, please, please help a girl out and hit me with requests! anon asks are open if you're shy :))

Handjobs

Voyeurism

Public Sex

Sensory Deprivation // Leather or Latex // Watersports

Rough Sex // Anal Beads // Bondage

A/B/O Heats or Ruts // Sadism-Masochism // Anonymous Sex

Bruising or Bitemarks // Virgin // Ice Play

Flogging // Swallowing // Cock Warming

Praise Kink

Face Sitting // Lingerie // Overstimulation

Knife Play 

Sex Toys // Dirty Talk // Breath Play

Pregnancy // Aftercare // Roleplay

Gangbang // Collaring // Candle - Wax Play

Hair Pulling // Glory Hole // Teasing

Nipple Play // Cock Worship // Lactation 

Squirting // Dom - Sub // Period Sex

Massaging

Suspension // Fisting // Mirror Sex

Cuckolding

Gun Play // Monsterfucking // Shower - Bath Sex

Thigh Fucking

Breeding 

Somnophilia

Pussy Slapping // Non Con - Dub Con // Titty Fucking

Pegging // Edgeplay // Seduction 

Hate Fucking - Angry Sex

Fucking Machine // Phone Sex // Impact Play

Branding // Hunter - Prey // Uniforms

Sex Pollen 

Free For All 

they should have made hannibal lecter cry more in the show

Hitting follow on every reblog with tags that seem like they might be a hannibal apologist