Thank You, Instagram

Stepping out the shower, staring down the cowboy in the mirror, and swinging my massive dick like a lasso for our daily showdown. I haven't won yet, but I'll be damned if I don't get his ass one day

Arcane 9/11 be like: "MR COUNCILOR, THEY HIT THE HEXAGON"

Bit ironic what came underneath this post

suspicious of any religion claiming humans should deny themselves enjoyment and earthly pleasures. like no every person I have ever met needs more of those actually

Get Kendrick on the track please-

Lady Gaga and Beyoncé collaborated to make a diss track about Katy Perry.

Sad day for chocolate lovers everywhere

bad news for chocolate lovers: amid massive corporate downsizing, Lindt has had to euthanize 2,000 of its handsome european chocolate chefs . an additional 1,300 will be thrown out in the cold with nothing but their stupid Fucking whisks

I don't want Elon Musk to kill himself because that would get him some sympathy from liberals and "oh so you don't care about mentally ill people?" would become a common line. Ideally I'd like him to be assassinated Luigi-style, but again that runs the risk of him becoming a martyr. No, the best way for him to die is in a stupid accident of his own creation, which I'm frankly shocked hasn't happened yet. Y'know like Tesla malfunction, falls over the non-OSHA-certified guard rails in his own factory, SpaceX explosion, crushed to death trying to fuck one of his ugly robots, ect.

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

Sometimes, I think about horses.

That's it, that's the post, I just like horses

Am talking eyeball

you have to remember that your icon is who's saying your posts

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing