A Wizard Is Going To Turn You Into A Random Animal! Whether You Like It Or Not! How Nice Of Them! Spin

I’m so lucky that my friends forced me to play league with them, because I would never force a sane normal person to play Genshin, but they’re free game >:)

Heya folks! Its been a bit, food insecurity is a bitch, but today on the quest of cooking our way through Lord of the Rings we're gonna be making a dish exclusively mentioned in the 2007 MMO-

We will be making a Rohan Pasty! 

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes into a Rohans Pasty?” YOU MIGHT ASKBasics. Meat n potatoes of your meat-in-dough food. .

All-purpose flour

Salt

Baking powder

Vegetable oil

Olive oil

Ground beef

Garlic salt

Ground cumin

Chili powder

Dried oregano

Waxy potato

Garlic

White onion

Egg

"A delicious local pastry filled with beef and potatoes."- LOTRO Rohan is a kingdom of humans in middle-earth, and the description point towards a cornish pasty (yes, pasty not pastry). Oddly enough the image is more of an empanada but you win some you lose some. This heritage informs much of the shape and ingredients of this dish, however we're opting to cook most of the ingredients before adding them in, contrary to going in raw as a cornish pasty calls for. I chose to deviate here because cooking beforehand allows more seasoning to be crammed in. The english hate seasoning.

AND, “what does a Rohans Pasty taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Tastes like the best pot pie youve had, less soggy

Excellent for an after-rugby/martial arts/soccer dinner

The potatoes are foundational

Despite needing the least work

Pasta salad (cucumber, olives, pepperocini) would pair well as a side

And would also pair well with beer

This meal bears the gold star sticker of not having any major issues! Hooray! Maybe its increased comfortability in the kitchen, or maybe its because of how very simple this one is. Chopped roasted bell pepper might be good in the filling in the future.

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Get the dough ready ahead of time- its mentioned in the recipe below but i also wanted to say a foreword here that it needs to sit in the fridge for a few hours. Just so ya dont get everything out and realise itd take too long for dinner tonight. Speaking of dough, i feel like it could have more flavor added to it. Its bland and although its not part of the tradition of the meal its based off of, cornish meat pasty, it might be nice to add some spices like cumin or black pepper to the flour. 

The meal reheats perfect- wrap in papertowl and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds per pasty.

When picking your potatoes make sure theyre "new" potatoes (baby ones) or whichever potato with the least amount of starch you can get. Its important for it to cook inside the pasty that it not have too much lest it get Mushy Bad.

Another thing about its real-life inspo; Cornish pastys were workers food, stuff you could carry into the mines, stuff thatd reheat well. You could hold the crust with your dirty hands and throw it away once you ate the rest. I always feel partial to these foods. Although I'd still eat the dirty crust.

This recipe earns a solid 8/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) 

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Dough Ingredients:

370g all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

74g vegetable oil

240g warm water

Filling Ingredients:

2 tablespoons(ish) olive oil

1 pound ground beef

2 tablespoons tomato paste

Garlic salt to taste

Ground cumin to taste

Chili powder to taste

Dried oregano to taste

5 cloves garlic, minced

1 white onion, diced

Method:

Combine flour, salt and baking powder.

Add oil and water into mixer with dough hook running at medium speed. Mix for 1 minute, stopping several times to scrape the sides of the bowl.

When mixture comes together and begins to form a ball, decrease mixing speed to low. Continue to mix just until dough is smooth.

Take the dough ball, safely wrap it, and transfer to fridge. Let sit for at minimum 2 hours.

For the meat, get a large skillet, and add some olive oil over medium heat. Add the ground beef and garlic salt, cook until the beef is cooked completely.

Drain the beef and set aside.

In the same pan, add the garlic, onions, cumin, chili powder, oregano, and salt.

Cook until the onions are softened but not brown, 10 to 15 minutes. Re-add the beef and cook over low heat for about 5 more minutes.

Back to the dough, transfer dough from fridge to well-floured work surface. Roll into log and divide into 10 equal portions. 

Preheat oven to 350f.

Form each piece into a ball and flatten each with a rolling pin.

Add a layer of diced potatos down the middle of the pastys. Add the meat filling to each. Fold the sides of the dough up to seal on top in the middle.

Gently turn the pasty on its side and crimp the edge, alternating a braid pattern. Use knife to cut an "X" shaped slit in the top. Repeat for each pasty.

Place the pastys on a greased baking sheet. Lightly coat each pasty with an eggwash using a basting brush.

Cook for about 50 minutes, or until golden brown, and let cool!

My job was to go around refilling the health and stamina bars of bosses in every game.

Still a more pleasant experience than working in retail.

you can recognize yourself through the fictional character. but watch out

That’s a red flag to YOU! To Marcille she’s just charming.

Had this idea ever since I finished reading Dungeon Meshi and finally got around to finishing it.

(on youtube for better quality)

Music - “Red Flags” by Tom Cardy

“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child

I love watching House md because this is WAAAAY too relatable for chronic pain folks. I’ll be casually watching House commit medical malpractice and am smacked in the face by a painfully accurate representation of the struggles of living with chronic pain. While watching the Season 5 episode where House and 13 as well as several others are being held hostage by a man desperate for an answer for his pain, I had to stop the episode. It struck a real chord in me. If I was more mentally unstable, I would be tempted to do the same thing. While the representation isn’t perfect, (or even good in some episodes) it has made me feel less alone.

It really is insane how many people engage with art on a pure enjoyment level. Theyll go to a movie and the only deciding factor on whether or not they liked it is "was i bored or confused during that 90-120 minutes?" Youll talk to people about a book or show or film you both enjoyed and theyll have absolutely nothing to say about how it made them feel, or what they think it was trying to impart to them. It begins and ends at "it was fun to watch/read" it drives me nuts

did you actually dissect a frog in school?

yes (usamerican)

yes (non-usamerican)

no (usamerican)

no (non-usamerican)

"Would Mulder and Scully solve [insert mystery from a non X-Files piece of media here]" is a deceptively complex question because there are two different answers depending on which version of the show our hypothetical episode is part of.

In the one version, Mulder and Scully wildly misunderstand the nature of the problem in diametrically opposite ways, and eventually succeed in removing the immediate threat in spite of having no idea what's going on, but do so in a way that traumatises everyone involved and ultimately reinforces the status quo, because law enforcement agencies are institutionally incapable of solving real problems even when their individual agents act with the best of intentions.

In the other version, Mulder pulls the correct solution out of his ass in the first five minutes, but can't prove it because the evidence keeps getting Phineas and Ferbed the moment before Scully walks into the room, and the problem is fixed forever by shooting a sewer man with a gun.

The trouble, of course, is that these are both describing the same show.