Losing Appetite Because You're Sad Is The Worst Feeling Ever.

I don’t even have words for what is going on inside me anymore. Sore? Exhausted? Worn? Helpless? I don’t know. I just know whatever I’m feeling is too much to bear on my own. I feel like an omen, I feel like I hold everyone back, and I know by expressing these feelings it creates some sort of truth within them, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I am feeling so much, and I feel like I’m nothing but a liability. I feel like everything I say just makes things infinitely worse.

All I’ve ever wanted to know was what I want. I am a stranger to myself.

did it ever mean anything to you?

the adolescent kisses in the dark, the shared cigarettes, the late nights, the early mornings, the drunken words, the secrets only we knew, the gifts, the letters, the “i love you”s and shared wardrobes really meant nothing?

was i always that disposable?

i know i wasn’t what you wanted, but i thought that maybe i could be what you needed. i know that’s selfish, i’m sorry. you were everything to me. the light in the inescapable darkness, the sugar in my coffee, the luck of finding a $20 bill on the ground. you were everything valuable in my world. everything worth living for.

i know now that our legacy is nothing but tainted memories and forgotten polaroids, and i know i should shelf the image of you, but i can’t help but miss you. i miss my boyfriend, i miss my best friend. no one knows me like you did, and i’m terrified no one else ever will.

i know to you it was just one summer and some change, but to me it was the most idyllic period of my life. it was the summer of love, though later unrequited. did you ever mean it when you told me you loved me?

whatever i’m just rambling and stuff, no one really sees these posts anyway. i just miss the feeling of being special to someone.

I NEED HIM SO BAD IDC!!!!!!

New Patrick Stump picture

This is my King

Everyone is rightfully tired of my shit I wish I could curl up into a little ball and shrink until I disappear

when intense sadness is a regular part of your life, you stop caring entirely about how it makes you come across to people. i’m literally sitting in class sobbing like it’s normal. people are staring, but it’s just hard to care anymore. like yeah, i’m losing my shit due to the horrors. look away bro

yasuhiro nightow / @ countthefighters / ocean vuong / jamie anderson / dylan krieger

found this journal entry/prayer i wrote on my tenth birthday, safe to say i have always been this miserable

isn’t it kind of awesome how we are all still learning and isn’t it kind of terrible how we’ll never completely figure our shit out

hi tumblr how we doing