Wonder If He Has Insurance (I Don’t Think So, Not With That Ascot)

😭 This just fits perfectly.

If you don’t get it, Athena was born from Zeus (her father).

Hephaestus split Zeus’ head open with an ax and Athena sprung out, fully grown and wearing armor.

The joke is: Athena thinks babies are born from men because that’s how she was born.

Odysseus: *hands baby Telemachus to Athena*

Athena: Wow, he's heavy.

Athena, touching Ody's forehead: I hope the labour wasn't too hard for you?

Odysseus:

Odysseus: It was fine.

Penelope: *sniggering*

Odysseus, to Penelope: Please can I just tell her the truth now?

Penelope: Nope.

The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."

i like to imagine that the rest of the gods on olympus were all watching ody turn poseidon into swiss cheese, with a variety of emotions throughout them.

zeus: *impressed but slightly very worried* maybe i let him cook for too long on that island.

zeus: oh well rather poseidon than me

hera: *mainly nonchalant but hiding a tiny smile behind her chalice*

hera: *after hearing next to my wife* that is what you call a man who loves his wife *side eyes zeus*

zeus: *sweats*

hephaestus: *kind of impressed* well he avenged his crew *shrugs*

ares: *in awe* athena didn't lie about the bloodshed!

ares: *hears poseidon beg for mercy* *odysseus doesn't give him that*

ares: *now in love with ody* THIS IS MY FAVOURITE MORTAL EVER

aphrodite: *just blinking in disbelief* he's not wasting anymore time to get home i guess?

hermes: *is proud but also in slight shock* thats a mindset change alright...

hermes: *gasps* i need to tell athena!

hermes: *grins* but first-

hermes: guess ~ i ~ should be the one to take poor dear uncle to the infirmary! *giggles at the drama he's about to cause there*

apollo: *sighs* let me get another bed made up

apollo: *heads off to his olympus infirmary*

I see your “Apollo agreed so easily because he doesn’t care about Odysseus” and raise you “the god of prophecy knows that Odysseus is going to make it home, so he’s not going to make much of an effort to stop him.”

He's just like his dad

It doesn’t even have to have romance whatsoever bro

Just the three who opened the series up, no ships, no strings attached.

Chapter 431 should have ended with a wholesome scene between Bakugo, Deku, and All Might. The three character we were introduced through the beginning of bnha. The characters who opened up the series for us should be the very same characters who help us wrap up the story. That would have felt more satisfying than to have the epilogue wrap up with making a ship canon.

Jason: it’s always “we love you, you’re apart of our family too, you’re enjoyable to be around, please come home for dinner, blah blah blah,” until you make ONE trauma compensating joke…

Duke: Jason you said “damn this chicken tastes better than the concrete floor of that warehouse lmao” on the anniversary of your own death

Tim: you literally made dick cry

Dont ya just love world building/lore?

> Cursed Blossoms AU 🌺 [E:TM AU]

• Introduction to the AU!

• How the AU Started

Cursed Blossoms is an AU I made taking old ideas from my other flowers AU from the cookie run and solarballs AU.

! Just So You Know :: This is not the Hanahaki Disease nor is even supposed to relate to it. I created a flower AU myself out of the blue without knowing about the fictional disease yet !

~ How did I come up with flowers AUs? What used to be the main plot?

• I first got my ideas of flower AU during June - July of 2022/2023! I was gonna make it like a normal AU where people got covered in flowers. The first ever fandom to get this AU from me is cookie run. It started as a normal civilization thing, but then I changed my mind and made it more of a virus or infection. Cookie run and Solarballs got the infection part of the flower AUs, how ever Epic: The Musical did not. I wanted to do something new with the flower related au I had so I switched up some things.

Let me list how the AU is like in 3 fandom::

Cookie run:: Infection / Virus like based. Spores fly around from flowers. After about 15 years, the infected faced death and can't be avoided. Unlike a zombie infection, the infected still have a mind of their own. Plucking out flowers leads to serious injuries.

Solarballs:: Same as Cookie run, no death occurs, infected are fragile and highly flammable, have two types of infected; Passive and Active. Human AU related.

Epic: The Musical:: More like a curse from Gaia herself. Everyone remained the same. Flowers only grows on gods and can be cursed onto mortals if one wishes. Plucking out / flowers dying leads to serious injuries or death. Nature based gods uses it as more of a blessing, they don't really need to maintain the plant.

• AU Guide

In the AU; Gods are the only ones who had flowers growing on their faces, bodies or head. For a normal god, only 1-2 flower grows on their body, but for natured-based gods, 2 or nore grows.

Gods are able to curse mortals with the same exact curse they have aswell, except they can't remove their own curse. Attempting to will result in fails or injuries.

Plucking out / Flowers dying till the roots:: When one or two dies or plucked out. No effect occurs till about a few hundred years. Though if all flowers get plucked or dies, effect takes place in a few hours, wilting and slowly growing old as they have a very limited time to find the seeds of the flower and replant it.

Maintaining the flower:: The flower is also their strength, if the flower wilts, is damaged or is not gaining enough to make it grow normally, the host of the flowers follow suit. So it is very recommended to keep their flowers perfectly healthy.

• Lore

[Will be written in soon.]

• Flower Growing spots.

Flowers have different place depending in where they grow. Usually, it just happens. But here is how where they usually grow, where they rarely grow and where it can grow only on Nature-based/related gods.

Flowers commonly grew out on the hair, face, neck, chest and forearms.

Flowers sometimes can rarely grow as hair, on the shoulders and legs.

Thought, nature based gods have them grown on either their elbows, hands, knees and feet.

• Injuries / Side Effects

Injuries / Side effect can happen during the growth of the flowers. If you're lucky enough, you won't be able to get them.

• The injuries / side effects::

° Cracks, holes, damages and debris falling out.

° Growing on scars or causing scars during growth.

° Covers a side of the body/face/head with leaves, grass or moss.

Tugging on the flower yourself will not make you feel pain. But if someone else did, it can ! Ripping them out, killing the flowers, cutting it off, plucking it out will feel like your nervous system being exposed got damaged, cut off or pulled on.

• The gods and their flowers! [ will be updated over time ]

------

Hermes;; Snapdragons & moly

Circe;; Circaea Lutetianas

Athena;; Asters

Apollo;; Marigolds

Hephaestus;; Volcano Flowers / metal flowers made by himself

Hera;; Peonies / Caca lilies

Aphrodite;; Roses

Ares;; Butterfly weed / Yarrows

Zeus;; Poppies / Alpine Flowers

Aeolus;; (unsure) Wind Orchids

Helios;; Sunflowers

Poseidon;; Sea Anemones and Lotuses

------

• Emotions and how it effects the flowers

The flower also reacts to emotion!

Lets say! If you cry, the flower's petal closes.

But if you laugh, it blooms!

When it sense negative emotions (sadness, anger, fear, embarrassment etc.) it closes up.

When it senses positive emotions (Happiness, love, laughter etc.) it blooms!

Mood

You can’t be dead if you were never truly alive 🙃

Are you dead?

Bold of you to assume I was ever alive.

Holy crap that’s deep-

I didn't see anyone mention this, but in 'I'm not sorry for loving you', when Odysseus says 'I love you' to Calypso, I don't think he's being nice to her, but on the contrary. I think he's trying to hurt her.

It doesn't makes sense that Odysseus would say that to her, unless he knows that's the best way of getting revenge on Calypso. He gives her hope, just for a moment, and you can see the excitement on her voice, before breaking her heart and leaving to never come back.

Odysseus was never going to say goodbye to her, SHE is the one who goes to the beach to talk to him one last time.

And Calypso, who until this point has been sinning about how she doesn't regret falling in love with him, suddenly changes after he tells her 'But not in the way you want me to'. She hates to be in love with him now, she regrets it, not only because she knows that Odysseus is never going to love her, but also because is the first time Odysseus is able to hurt her.

After all, this is the Vengeance Saga. Odysseus starts by getting revenge on Calypso, the goddess that keep him away from Penelope for years, and he choose the most effective method; and the saga ends with him getting revenge on Poseidon, but this time with physical torture.

Odysseus is smart, he doesn't say that just because, he tries to hurt his enemies, Calypso is just a different monster, one that he can't defeat in a combat or by rejecting her, but by letting her know that he's never going to love her, no matter what, and he's always going to fight to leave her side.