Inaccurate Batfam Quotes #16

You remember how Bart was like,, super famous in High School? He was the most popular guy around without even trying and not wanting anyone's attention, but Impulse was the least popular hero? Well when he died by the hands of Inertia, his name became public record. I would pay top dollar to see the reactions of everyone that went to High School with him. there was a line in the comics like "Oh, It's just Impulse. Thought it was Allen for a second. Now that would've been cool." People thought Imp was so lame, there was no possible way he could be "Daredevil Allen". Real nickname. I just, wanna see, what they say,,

Bart: This is totally absurd!

Tim: No, it’s really not.

Kon: This is for your safety.

Bart: Oh, What, next you’re going to tell me that skateboarding on top of titans tower on a ramp I made myself is “Dangerous”. Psh…

Kon and Tim simultaneously: YES.

AU where everything is the same except Remus Lupin is played by John Mulaney

OKay but what if Owen was born first? What if when Digger got sent through time, he didn't go so far and he met Meloni BEFORE she and Don fell in love? What if Owen was raised by Meloni? And Don was his step dad? And when Bart was born, and Don was killed, the same lab that had Bart in the VR simulation kept Owen captive. And when Iris broke Bart out, she got both of them? And while she told Bart about his Thawne/Allen lineage, and about his Grandpa Barry, she also told Owen about his father, his real father? What if they were sent back in time together, and Owen protected his little brother? He tells Bart stories about the father he never got the chance to meet, and things about their mother Bart didn't get the chance to know. That when Max took Bart in, he went to find Digger? What if They already knew each other, and Bart was Impulse and Owen was Captain Boomerang Jr? That Bart never fought the Rogues and refused to bring any of them in because of it, and Owen may help rob banks and pull heists, but he wouldn't lay a hand on them Flashers. Those are Family. That every time he and Bart see each other, it's just a nice brother reunion and catching up.

And then Thad comes along and Owen being a big dumb himbo boy, goes ":0 Bart NEW BROTHER :D" and adopts the kid on the spot. Thad, never having a place ever or any kind of positive connection in his thousand years of life just accepting defeat, cause “maybe this orangutang wasn't so bad, unlike my counterpart”. And Owen was like their glue that kept them from killing each other until they established an unbreakable bond. Digger adopted all of them with Max as the co-parent and now they're just a happy family.

We all know how Draco and Harry get when paired together in Potions. Well, I want to see them get paired together in Divination. Their foretelling mainly consists of them competing in who will divine a more gruesome death to the other. 

Trelawney is so impressed by their clairvoyance that they remain partnered for the rest of the year.

Them

I missed them

Jason Todd 🤝 Bart Allen =

Risking it all for their best friends

[The first image is showcasing an exerpt from 'NEW52 RedHood and the Outlaws 1' where Jason (Right) is breaking Roy (left) out of a heavily guarded prison that could have ended in his capture or subsequent second death]

[In the second image is a scene from 'Impulse (1995) issue 6' Where Bart learns the his best friend Preston is being abused by his mother while in costume and is fully about to talk to the Vice Princible and Authorities about what he'd seen, giving away his secret identity in the process.]

OH, OHH SHRAP, AND THERES A WHOLE SUBCULTURE OF ONE OF THE BATBOYS BEING NEAL CAFFREY.

Y’all get ready, Jaybart is coming to the FBI. ;) I’m never letting this go now.

Dr Reid?? And the criminal informant in the white collar division?? Scandal!!!1!!11!

Just two undercover Justice League agents infiltrating the FBI who are also in love <3

Okay I cannot be the ONLY one to see the similarities of Bart and Spencer Reid. The Eidetic memory, walking fact book, socially awkward and avoidance of spotlight. A blindspot to romantic endeavours and their petty intellectual pranks. Acute sense of Justice but also a deep, burning anger. The hair, the baggy clothes. Fuck you, they’re the same person.

<3

THIS

I've been thinking a lot about Jaybart lately, even wrote half of two one-shots that I might post soon, since I'm bored, and have nothing to do, here are some hcs of them that I have and intend to work on some future fanfics:

Sometimes, while the other is sleeping, they lie awake counting the other's breathing just to make sure they are alive. Neither of them knows about it. Bart does this more often, but Jason spends more time awake counting his breaths.

Jason cooks and Bart cleans. Bart can't cook to save his life, but he makes decent coffee.

Bart has freckles all over his body and Jason often compares them to stars, when they are alone he tries to kiss each of his freckles.

Bart's love language is physical touch and words of affirmation, so Jason has always one arm around his shoulders or waist, sometimes he lays his head on Bart's shoulder and when no one is looking he leaves a kiss on his neck or whispers in his ear 'I love you'

Jason's love language is quality time and acts of service. Bart always tries to find a way to go to Jason's apartment and spend some time with him, they talk, watch movies and sometimes just enjoy each other's company. 'I love you' for Jason is not in words, but it is in the little things. In the coffees that Bart makes for him, in the early hours of waking up together, in the silence while Jason cooks and Bart helps him chopping the vegetables.

Bart made (read: forced) Jason to watch all the Star Wars films

Whenever the two watch a film/series, Bart develops a crush on one of the actors and talks about it for weeks and Jason just agrees that most of them are actually hot

Most people don't know that they date. Bart always says he has a boyfriend, but never says his name instead he describes his boyfriend as 'a literature student who loves cooking and Jane Austen and Virginia Woolf books' and he always has fun seeing people's reactions when Jason appears and kisses him.

Roy can't stand being in the same room as them, he always says that they look at each other with puppy ​​eyes or like they're ready to fuck right there

Sometimes Bart wears skirts and dresses, Jason thinks he looks really beautiful wearing it.

Tim was the first to know they were together, he accidentally walked into the kitchen and saw them kissing (his reaction was similar to Ross's in friends but with less screams)

On their first Valentine's Day together, the two forgot it was Valentine's Day and spent the day watching horror movies and eating pizza.

Bart always listens to Tim and Jason's complaints about each other and finds it funny how the two always end up saying "How is he your best friend/boyfriend?”

Bart always pulls Jason's blanket over while sleeps.

Tim constantly walks over while they are almost having sex, most of the time he screams 'my eyes!' and Jason finds something to throw at him.

They are not a clingy couple, no pet names, no matching accessories, not so many pda, except for a few kisses, and a hand on the other's shoulder or waist, and they barely talk about the relationship with others, the reasons many people don't know they are dating is precisely this. They are very private, and none of them are afraid to provoke, disagree or upset the other.