Inaccurate Batfam Quotes #34

inaccurate Core Four quotes #3

Tim: I'm at that age where I have only one thing on my mind.

Bart: Your massive crush on Kon?

Cassie: Student Debt?

Tim: holding a birdarang Homicide.

Tim: I'm about to stab someone.

Bart: Please don't.

Cassie: slowly takes the weapon

Fucking eat the goddamn honey and stop making Cas upset that you won’t! You hurt his feelings!

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

The time the team found out Batman has a heart while simultaneously finding out Robin’s Identity...

There was an explosion during the mission. Unexpected, three down. But surprisingly, those three hadn’t suffered the worst of it. Sure, Atrimus had a sprained ankle and slight concussion, Wally suffered a few broken ribs and injured arm while Kaldur endured a broken nose and deep gash on his chest, they weren’t the one’s everyone was worried about. After they all split up, Wally and Dick had found the bomb with only a few seconds to spare. Wally used his body to cover Dick as he ran, ran as fast as he could to get him away but the force of it blew them out the window. Dick’s eyes widened as They fell, Wally’s arms still protectively tucking him into his chest while moving them so that he’d cushion the fall with his own body. The ebony seemed to have been in a trance after they landed on the grass below, fire raging and the team staggering out, Artimus being carried on conner’s back While m’gann helped Kaldur as he limped. Dick remained unresponsive, even as a very alive Wally had tried snapping him back. Then he went to shake him but this gut wrenching scream escaped the ebonys lips as he gripped his hair in anguish and doubled over with sobs. Everyone watched in surprise and horror as the youngest cried and screamed words in a language they didn’t understand.

That was then. They were all in the cave now, silently sitting in the living room without even trying to speak of what happened. No one even knew how to explain it. M’gann may have been able to read his emotion but they all felt it like it was their own as his screams continued to ring in their ears. His cries echoed through the halls as he was escorted to his room with Black Canary and refused to leave since. No one seemed to move.

“Recognized A01” the computer announced and they barely raised their heads to acknowledge the mentors presence.

“Wallace. Come with me.” He said in a rush as he could distantly hear his proteges cries. The ginger nodded absently but looked more like a husk as he followed. This snapped Kaldur out of his trained thoughts as he stood abruptly.

“I— would like to come, too!” He said, almost pleadingly. “I want to know what happened to my friend.

“No.” Batman said, still walking off, a hand on Wally’s back as he led them on faster.

“No?” The Atlantean scoffed.

“Well I don’t care what he says.” Artimus stood with a glare, seemingly pointed to nothing in particular. “I’m going to check on him.”

“Me too.” M’gann spoke from Conner’s chest. The feelings Robin was feeling leaked to her. The suffering of love and loss hit her like a roller coaster she wasn’t strapped into, the turns just daring her to fall out. Conner stood with her, still holding her as she didn’t seem metally stable to walk on her own. They all made the silent decision to go to see him. The closer they came to the bedrooms, the louder the screaming became. The wretch in their hearts slowed them until it came to a halt in front of a cracked open door with the sound of pure nightmarish shrieks. They looked amongst themselves before creaking the door open.

Robin was held tightly to Batman’s chest and sat in his lap on the bed as the man shushed him and pet his hair soothingly. Wally was sitting beside them, tears of his own running down his face.

“Tati, nu se vor opri. Vocile nu se vor opri!” (Daddy, they won't stop. The voices won't stop!) Robin sobbed into the man's chest, holding grips of his costume for his sanity.

“Richard, I need you to look at me.” The bat whispered to him quietly. Blue eyes looked up and the man wiped his tears with his thumb. “Wally is right here, by your side. Alive.” To prove it so, Wally grabbed one of the younger hands, the grip on Batman’s emblem coming undone to hold it tightly. “No one died tonight because you were able to tell the team on time.” Batman kissed the side of Dick’s head, rocking them slowly.

“Bruce… Mama and Papa… they…” Dick sniffled, silent tears trekking down his face, covering the dried paths.

“They’re gone.” Bruce said quickly. “They’ve been gone for years. You need to remember you still have a family.” He added quietly. “Barbra. Alfred. Me.”

“And you have me.” Wally’s voice broke as he joined with a small kiss to the boys knuckles that were white from his grip.

“They died because of me—” Dick sniffled, voice hitching in his throat.

“No no. They died so that you could live. I’m sure they’d be happy to die if it meant you stayed living in their memory.” Bruce corrected. Dick buried his face back into Bruce’s chest, Wally being pulled into the embrace as well. The others that stood at the door, unknown of what to do, left. The words spoken softly between the three all fresh in their memory, replaying like broken records. They all had trouble sleeping that night, quite possibly even more than Dick did. Though he had the comfort of Wally carefully spooning him and whispering sweet nothings while he drifted into restless oblivion. Needless to say, the team never saw Robin as a frail child again.

Everyone Lived.

Everyone lived. When Harry was born, Lily hardly saw him because Sirius was fitting him into a tiny leather jacket, Remus was reading to him, and James was already trying to sneak him to the Quidditch supply store to get Harry his first toy broom. Christmases were spent with full bellies and rooms stuffed with laughter, and there wasn’t a single person without flushed cheeks from all the wine. Lily’s eyes sparkled, and there was always a joke on the tip of James’ tongue. All Harry knew was love, love, love, from every corner of the universe.

Everyone lived, and every Thursday afternoon, Sirius and Remus took Harry to the “library”, which was the secret word they taught him for the ice cream parlor. With each trip, they ordered the biggest sundae that was offered with three spoons, and Harry always ate nearly all of it. They kept it up until the day Harry asked Lily to take him to the library and, when confronted with the shelves piled high with books, he asked her where they went to order their ice cream.

Remus and Sirius got married when Harry was three, and Harry was the ring bearer. Lily cried the first time she saw him in his tiny dress robes. They were just long enough that he nearly tripped halfway up the aisle. There wasn’t a single pair of dry of eyes in the audience that day.

Everyone lived, and on Harry’s sixth birthday, he celebrated alongside Neville with all their friends and family. James gave Harry his first set of toy Quidditch balls. He, Ron, Neville, Draco, and Ginny all played together until Draco pushed Neville off his broom and into the cake Alice had spent hours working on. Lily tried so hard not to laugh at Neville’s frosting-covered face, but instead she went beet red and gave herself away to everyone.

Draco said he was sorry. He actually meant it.

Everyone lived, and the moms had a Lockhart book club, which consisted of everyone getting wine-drunk and complaining about their husbands together. Draco, Neville, Harry and Ron eavesdropped and reported back to their dads, who were standing around the kitchen armed with beer, about what they did wrong that week. Each of the meetings somehow coincidentally ended with each of the men stopping by to bring their respective wives bouquets of flowers or boxes of chocolate “because they just felt like it.”

Everyone lived, and Draco and Harry were friends, believe it or not. When Narcissa and Lucius had a date night, they dropped Draco off at the Potters. James told them scary stories in the darkness of their blanket tent. Lily used magic to cast shadows all over their living room, and Harry and Draco wouldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. But Lily kissed each of their foreheads and assured them each that everything would be fine, because she and James would never let anything bad happen to either of them.

She meant it.

Draco and Harry stayed up until their eyelids were simply too heavy to bear, but Harry managed to remain awake till Draco was completely asleep before closing his eyes. It was one of the most peaceful things he’d ever seen. He wasn’t exactly sure why he thought that. Not yet, anyways.

Everyone lived. Everyone got a little bit older. The kids all went off to Hogwarts, somehow managing to stuff themselves all into one train compartment, even with Hermione once she joined. Draco and Harry got put into different houses, which was a relief to everyone around them. “they already bickered like a married couple without rooming together,” Ron said when they were first sorted, “I don’t want to think about what we’d have to deal with if they were sharing a dorm.”

The only time Harry and Draco forgot about their friendship was when they played against each other in Quidditch. There were no rules when you needed to be the first one to the snitch.

(I suppose there weren’t any rules when it came to making out with your best friend in an empty corridor after drinking half a bottle of fire whiskey, either.)

Sixth year came with sly glances and brushing fingertips in the hallway; throwing all caution to the wind and risking friendship for feelings Harry and Draco had been denying since they were kids. Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing looks, but no one said a word. Not even when Harry inconspicuously crept out of bed nearly every night at half past two with his Invisibility cloak in tow, not returning until the sun was just peeking out over the mountains, if at all. He looked happier than ever that year, secrets tugging on the corners of his mouth every time he spoke.

Everyone lived, and when Draco and Harry came out to their families their seventh year, everyone groaned. “You owe me ten Galleons,” was the first thing James said to Lucius, and Harry knew then that everything was going to be okay.

Because everyone was here, surrounding him, breathing, alive. They all hugged him and Draco at once, cheeks smooshed together, a mess of laughter and “I love you’s” and kisses on foreheads. They were all connected then, their pulses stitching them together with a bond Harry knew nothing could break.

They all knew hurt; they knew pain and suffering, and they knew loss, but most of all, they knew each other. They knew love, and they knew hope.

As they stood there, a giant amoeba of people from all walks of life, some more challenging than others, Harry let go of the breath he felt as though he had been holding for his entire life.

I completely agrée. Male victims have just as much rights to be upset about the situation as anyone else should be. If you are a victim, and you are reading this, any gender, sexuality, race;I want you to know that everyone in this reblog supports you! You can always come to me to talk. I’d love to try and lift your spirits, even if for a short period of time.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

[Kitchen at Wayne Manor]

Dick: [picking through a candy bowl] Steph sure does date a lot doesn't she?

Cass: [with prejudice] glass houses

Dick: I didn't mean it was something bad!

Tim: She doesn't date a lot, she breaks up a lot.

Dick: Isn't that the same thing?

Cass: [unwrapping a chocolate bar] No

Tim: She has standards

Jason: [sorting m&ms] She dated YOU

Tim: She also broke up with me

Jason: ...did you just insult yourself to defend your ex?

Tim: [stares Jason down while slowly eating a piece of fudge]

Dick: [coughs awkwardly] so anyway. Isn't her dating so much a sign that her standards are TOO high?

Tim: [looks at Cass] Reasons Steph has dumped guys

Cass: [raises a finger] doesn't like cats

Damian: [from the other room] WHAT?!

Tim: [also starts counting on his fingers] refused to learn how to do laundry

Cass: Had his mother clean for him

Tim: Told her to calm down

Cass: Wanted to become a stock broker

Tim: asked if she was on her period

Cass: mocked people for wearing crocs

Tim: said he'd never read a book with a "female protagonist"

Cass: Said she was too emotional

Tim: was way too into sports

Cass: Said women with short hair was unattractive

Tim: kept using 'literally' when he meant 'figuratively'

Cass: told her she was putting on weight

Tim: didn't like Cass

Cass: didn't like Tim

Tim: mansplaining

Cass: kept talking about the wine list

Tim: kept talking about his car

Cass: [running out of fingers] thought "me too" had gone to far

Tim: [also with all his fingers outstretched] told her she "wasn't like other girls"

Dick and Jason:

Dick: I feel like some of those were more valid than others

Jason: [to Tim] so which one of those was the reason she broke up with you?

Tim: I didn't like Tim.

WAR AGAINST ANTI-VAX MOMS

Ok, Karen, listen up. I’ve fucking devised a plan and you can’t stop me. Okay, so, tiny robot mosquitoes, right? But instead of sucking blood, they inject vaccines. They have specific targets each and will return to HQ to be cleaned as to not spread any blood spread viruses. There should be a hotline for people to call to say no one will vaccinate them and it should be called the MDA. Mosquito Delivery Agency in long terms. This is a legit theory I made in the sum of two minutes after no sleep in two days.

MISHAPOCALYPSE

Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha MishaMisha Misha Misha Misha Misha Misha