Seizure First Aid. 

This isn’t related to my blog aesthetic but I’m tired of seeing posts where people are making others paranoid that they’re in a coma or something. You’re not. I know lots of us know it’s just a bad “joke,” but some people don’t have the luxury of being able to believe that after seeing others tell them otherwise.

You’re awake. Everything is okay.

And on this day I decided my contribution will be a shitpost

I like how people in fandoms be like "canon I'm 'insert game dev' " or "canon, I was the floor", we need people in the star wars fandom to be like "canon I'm actually Lucas film" when they see some joke post or funky headcanon for a star wars event or character

R.I.P THAT DARK CHOCO AYYYYY

While the cookie run comics are not canon they are hilarious

HASDHSGJAVKSBAK WHAT CRACK ARE THESE COMICS ON CAUSE I WANT SOME

listen. tumblr could not more obviously be dying before our eyes. in the span of like two months they have made 4 desperate bids for money. now i think it goes without saying that if tumblr is your primary social media in 2022 you probably aren’t delighted by the identical interface algorithm focused format of every other app out there.

now imagine you’re staff. you know this. you don’t want tumblr to go under either. so you post one payment option. you roll it out clumsily, a user gets death threats for it, it’s a bit of a mess, like things usually are around here. but you learn. the next two are announced properly, in advance. and yet still near every single comment on posts about them is mocking, denouncing the very idea for both entirely made up reasons or valid criticism that gets buried under the tidal wave of disgust.

despite all that, you must be doing something right bc there are new users coming in. you know that because every day you see posts trying to push them away or bragging about how hostile the environment is around here

you start selling merch, losing all pretense of trying to make money as a website, clearly grasping at straws to pay for the servers. every comment on the rebloggable adds is negative. they’re mocking the price, the designs, the very idea of tumblr merch. they say shit like ‘no one will pay 25$ for a t-shirt with a tiny logo’ as if people don’t pay thousands for t shirts with tiny logos. so much of it doesn’t even feel like honest criticism, just people playing on the running joke that haha staff is useless and tumblr is badly run. but 1. these are neither a faceless evil corporation nor your friends, you can’t be horrid to them and expect them to be in on the joke. 2. if it’s so bad here please tell me where the fuck ever else online is better. no really. the blog search function here sucks, sure. please tell me what other social media even has one? and 3. the clothes are 100%cotton like that’s already miles above the usual quality for these things. if you’ve ever paid for licensed merch from the disney corporation i don’t want to hear a single peep from you against these.

so imagine working at tumblr. seeing all this, do you think ‘wow what a loyal userbase, worth fighting for and able to help us save this website’? or do you see a bunch of cynical shits who clearly couldn’t care less, and aren’t worth saving if they can’t appreciate what they have.

if you’re ok with tumblr dying or can’t help, that’s fine. but if you aren’t, please stop making it seem like you hate it here.

no little german boy don’t walk into that electric fence! 

oh mein gott, zhis fence is full of shockenspdyiujhsgfwgh;lkjsdhggslkjn;dbjvkgchskjhlbndjbhvkjgsvhlbdhvkjgflhkd

Finally came back to tumblr after like.....idk how many years

Here's redvelvet cookie with cake hound 💕

@incorrect-cookie-run-kingdom ayo bestie come check this out

I wasn’t kidding, I drew it 

This post was made by Kit Fisto

master plo deserves to be sluttier i think