Crystalbrain-crack Cocaine For The Soul 1/1 NFT Ethereum
crystalbrain-crack cocaine for the soul 1/1 NFT ethereum
ok, so crystalbrain got introduced 2 crack cocaine by this dude in the motherfuckin' CIA in a VR simululation to train nicaraguan rebels. he had a glass pipe which he put a flame 2 and he took a hit and all of a sudden it was liek a hailstorm of nun-killings just jumped into his brain liek a complete disasterpiece of youphoric wonderfulness. this was after having a gay orgy with manuel noriega and some colombian dudes and it was a perfect moment of spectackular crack rock hitting wonder. this was not the first time crystalbrain had done drugs, no, he had smoked marijuana, tripped on psilocybin mushrooms, dosed on LSD, gotten fucking jacked on speed, taken benzos, rolled on ecstacy, inhaled huge balloons full of nitrous oxide, gone to other dimensions on salvia divinorum, snorted heroin, chugged cough syrup, gotten blown out of his mind on DMT, and this among probably hundrededs of other reasons is why crystalbrain did not live up to his full potential as a contributing member of the matrix.
but being with CIA agents smoking huge rocks of crack cocaine as a test 2 see if crack was a good idea 2 fill the ghettos of america with in order to be a proper instrurument of the government to keep poor people jonesin 4 a hit, he decidided that what his soul really, really deep down craved was an extatic union with the god…of crack. yes, crystalbrain had met his new god, and being 10 years old and fondled by ronald reagan he decided he would go on a mission 2 get every threat 2 the status kwo hooked on this incredibly racist form of cocaine. he snuck around on an alternate form of existence putting telepathic thoughts to buy roses in glass toobs in the inner cities of amerikkka and it was his complete desire that not only should everyone who was poor smoke crack, that eventually aliens would put the entire planet earth into one big crack pipe and take a gigantic hit off of the pipe and get high for liek…15 minutes. and thus crystalbrain went back 2 school and started selling crack cocaine 2 his classmates in the school bathroom.
it was not known at the tiem but crack cocaine made its way through multiple layers of existence, and so there were demons smoking crack, angels smoking crack, and there was god himself sittin' on his throne smoking a big fat dime rock of crack with his donations from churches. satan got in on the game and started smoking crack, but this was just in the judeo-christian realm of existence. there were buddhas smoking crack, lao tzu's force ghost was smoking crack, in the star wars universe obi wan kenobi was smoking crack with anakin, and everyone in the entire multiverse was having a great time getting high on crack. but then they all got addicted and started selling their assholes to buy crack, and then the DEA became an interdimensional entity and forced its way through the multiverse, and everyone got busted because they were selling and smoking so much crack.
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-seaweed75 NFT 1/1
send ur ETHs here:
ok did u ever see the matrix, i guess it was a movie? there was a lot of green digital shit goin on like a bunch of zeroes and ones fucking together in a black void of weird shit, it was a good movie. but imagine seaweed; if you get possibly vegan seaweed u can cover the sides of ur sushi with it, so its like a bunch of motherfucking sushi-sandwiching green-stuff. but if u look at seaweed in the matrix maybe it would look like this. why make art about seaweed?? i dunno, there's lots of renahsahns dudes who made like bowls of fruits for dollars by the new class of people created by money changing i guess. so i guess if u can make art about fruit of the loom or whatever u can make seaweed matrix art.
but oh know something is kinda fucked up about this art; no its not jpeg corruption, there's some fucked upness to this picture, and u can rest assured that it is not ur braincells being sodomized by seaweed in the brainus but some actually really intentionally fucked up stuff. like every post i must ask what the point is about all this? and i asked myself this and i didn't get a good answer but instead of feeling despair and putting a bullet in mah brain i decided to post this and tell u about the angst i feel in not having a good reason for this existing other than…
…i need to pay for the demonburger to eat at burger king which is teh flesh of demons i guess but its plant-based demons so whatevs.
crystalbrain-laser eye NFT 1/1
send ur 0.034 ETHs to:
ok, i got sumthin to tell u. its a secret. the laser, its liek HAL in 2069 a space fuckassy, which is my imaginary porno based on 2001 a space odddessy by stanlee koobrick. but this time there is a laser in the middle between two sets of brests, because this is the ideal place for a red light coming from a robot. but this is no regular porno, no this is a porno for robots, who are built for the sole porpoise of selling pornos to them. by making masturbation robots, u can then create a market to sell pornos 2 them. its brilliant for money making, and that's what syfy porno is about right?? right???
i know these don't look liek breasts, but they are syfy breasts since nerds cant get real brests this is the best i could do with. maybe they're robot brests???? i got a good idea, liek if u were on a space ship with a bunch of doods going 2 jupiter or wherever the fuck and the machine tried to fuck u instead of kill u, wouldn't u be happier? this is why 2069 a space fuckassy is a superior flick to 2001, even if 2001 has fantasy shit by director stanlee koobrick. r u with me people? robot sex = better than robot killing. i know arthur see clark wrote a novel aboot 2001, but that shit didn't happen, we didn't go to jupiter or wherever the fuck in a psychedelic tunnel of wtf in 2001, so we'll all have sex on a spaceship in 2069 instead.
do u people capeesh or do i have 2 go on????
this is "interchange". send ur ETHs here:
ok, this is some serious green shit wafting over some kind of fucking thing. i will not tell what that thing is, i refuse to do it, u can't make me; its privileleged information for me to hide from u. well not really since u can see it i guess. ok, i'll tell, it's a bunch of purple, black, and red stuff. are u happy? well maybe i lied, did u think of that mr. smartygokartypants? i could have totally just lied to u, like u could be colorblind and never know that i told a big fat lie and u would be the dunce in this situation for once and not me, who is always a dunce.
the green smoke reminds a little of "i dream of jeeeeenie" or whatever that show with the blonde woman with superduper powers actually was in the 1860s or 1960s or whatever. i only saw it on dick at night or dick van dyke at night or oh yeah nick at nite, that's what it was called which was tv for older people in my brain. the name of this is interchange i guess it looks like something changing to some ppl. please forgive me, i am stupid, give me a fuckin break already.
crystalbrain-veryveryveryveryvery nft 1/1
Take ur ETHs here to buy this NFT:
https://zora.co/collections/0xc243E1C80aEC8b7229F586d54a4880CF074eA38F/1
now this is some grade a, no government inspected, blue energy looking shit that looks like its caressing your neurons like some "massooose" at a rub and tug. this looks like its straight out of some void or some galaxy that a telelescoper saw with its electric eye, and its exciting and calming at the same time. i don't like to use the word "energy" like some new age kool-aid drinker but its fuckin got a great energy to it, no? if i were stranded in space and i had to pick only one direction to go into and i saw this, i would totally point my dick in the direction of this blue thing. yeah maybe there's a blue star or some shit in it, but at least i would get to look at something cool before i fizzled into a star like a fuckin skydiver into fire.
i like this thing because i am crystalbrain and i make digital art therefore i am i think or maybe not, all the philosophers ate my braincells like i said before. but this is pretty neat, for you to have and you can mos def take your eths to it and be like "hey cool this is mine".
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com
more crystalbrain biography
part 4…
having accomplished his goal in upperercutting a train into teh sun, crystalbrain continued 2 go and accomplish superhuman feets of power, and he used a fake body 2 ascend 2 teh stars in an alternate reality. the only thing about this was that the planets he discovered were interweb planets made of superstitition, not actual dead rock and frozen gas planets liek in what he thought reality was. this was ok with him, even though he now had 2 deal with a bunch of dead philosophers hanging out with hallucinations of greek gods. apparently this was ok, but he did not feel right, and decided 2 leave the solar system.
this was an unfortununate choice however because there was just liek a dark void with liek nothing in it except ads for penis enlargement pills and porno, and so he drifted through lots of videos of people doing really nasty stuff with all kinds of orifices and things leik that until he reached heaven, where everyone was high on crack due to the CIA. he knocked on the door and this dude just started talkin about how he was fuckin high as fuckin hell and that they had so much crack 2 smoke and they never ran out in heaven. he picked up some free rock and decided 2 leave and was sent 2 get a tour of hell…
in the 1980s everyone in hell was doing coke but they had moved on to meth, and all these dictator dudes and CIA agents greeted him in hell. it was ok he guessed, but they were totally spun out of their mind and masturbating furiously while staring at the porn void between heaven and hell. the pope's ghost body had just come across the void and had picked up a rock from his dealer in heaven but he went down 2 hell 2 get some nice crystal, but the problem with hell is that they had 2 synthehesize the meth using rituals with lost souls. not wanting 2 be one of these lost soul dudes, crystalbrain decided 2 go convert 2 buddhism and went 2 visit gautama buddha, who was completely stoned as hell on marijuana in a state of nirvana (which according 2 some ppl is the same as samsara (witch means that the illusion and libereration from illusion are teh same i guess i dunno)).
crystalbrain received much wisdom from buddha and using super mind powers destroyed heaven and hell and returned 2 earth in a state of nirvana (which meant he was listening 2 nirvana on his headphones). he then laughed at how even tho he was dumb he could grasp teh basic fact that everyone was dumb because they believed in stuff. but then he smoked a bunch of crack and meth and things started 2 suck again for him because of delususional thinking.
part 5…
crystalbrain after his de-enlightenment deicided 2 go 2 a bar, but this was not really satisfying as the bartender was not happy when he took out a crack pipe and started smoking a rock on a barstool. crystalbrain will never forget the look on the man's face as "don't bring me down" by electric light orchestra or some shit was playing on the jukebox and he said that he was going 2 call the police. this started an argument which ended in crystalbrain picking up a bottle of jagermeister and smacking it over teh head of the bartender, and since crystalbrain was a superman he ended up slicing the bartender from the top of his head down to his nuts. he realized that the police were going to arrive but doo 2 him being a paranoid dude he decided 2 smoke a huge rock of crack so he could run away faster. unfortunately his lighter wouldn't light at first and then he just kept hitting the crack pipe over and over again. when teh police arrived he realizized that he had forgotten to run so he had to fight the police and so he picked up two bottles of liquor and threw them at the police and they hit two of the motherfuckers straight in the face with excessive force, decapitating them.
now he realized he was a cop killer but because he had superpowers he didn't care about being arrested so he started imitating donatello from the teenage mutant ninja turtles with a pool stick and shoved it so far up the ass of a cop that he was impaled on it. then, since he was being repeatedly shot, he used his special wound healing powers 2 suck the bullets into his mouth and spit them at the cops, killing them liek that bad guy in the movie the mask (he was a fan of this movie i guess). so there was a bar full of dead cops and since all the cops were dead he stole a cop car and tried 2 take it 2 a chop shop to sell it for parts so he could get money 2 buy more crack. however, the guys at the chop shop had heard that there was a reward for his capture so they pretended liek they were going 2 strip the car for parts and then went and called the cops, who this time showed up with a huge basketball-sized crack rock they had seized from a guy who was working for the CIA.
they told him if he cooperated he could have this huge rock and so he went to the police station. however they didnt hand him the b-ball sized crack rock, so he got angry and used telepathetic mind-control powers 2 have the cops line up to suck his dick while he had the handcuffs on. what happened next was all a blur for him, but when he got the rock he realized he didn't have a crack pipe big enough 2 smoke it in, so he tried 2 think of a glass tube that was tapered at one end so he could take a hit off of it but he couldn't think of anything that existed liek this. he broke his handcuffs. so while he was getting his dick sucked by the cops he had the bright idea of shooting the crack rock with a shotgun and thus breaking it into many pieces, which he put inside of a crack pipe one at a time and smoked. anyways he got so high that he grew a pair of wings and his dick split into two serpents which entwined themselves like a caduceus (which is that symbol that is incorrect but used as a symbol of medicine even tho its for the god hermes or something). anyways, since there were now two dicks that he had he had two cops sucking them and he was flying through the air until he decided to drop them in the grand canyon, and thus he made his escape.
to be continued…
part 6:
crystalbrain sat on top of mt. everest and meditatated while freezing his ass off. he used awesome fireball powerz to surround him leik a dude who had read too much new age crap. but he knew he had crossed a line where he could never go back 2 that reality again. so he entered an alternate universe where that had never happened and did extremely large amounts of various drugs while sucking his own dick in a yoga posture. "wut do i do now?" he pondered, as all of his crimes were magically erased by his state of nirvana. nirvana's "scentless apprentice" played on repeat in his mind becuz he lieked that song. he spent a month as a painting on a wall and his eyes would follow ppl as they walked by, which some ppl noticed and were creeped out by.
he felt lonely; everything he wanted was gone with a stretch of his middle finger. he had no need for work, had tried every drug, had even authored a very badly written book on esoteric homosexual intercourse that was never published. this was the limit; no one could stop him from doing anything he wanted 2 do. he pondered this for a while and the more he pondered the less he lieked life. all of the cops he had killed were alive and well, all of the people who stood in his way had never met him and had no cares for anything. he was marvelous, a true wonder of perfect stupididity, enlightenenment, power, and destruction. there was nothing left to do except maek fun of people, which was just mean but he did it anyways for a while, especially on twitter.
he thought of people in unfortunate positions, liek the worst possible situatation where everyone was so completely fucked by what they thought reality was and he would come in 2 maek fun of them. he would walk among them as one of them, inhabit their bodies, look through their eyes, and at the last second, he'd save their asses and everything would be great again. this was teh hope ppl had, that their problemz could be solved by some dude from virtual reality just crashing in liek a messiah or antichrist or christ or final avatar of vishnu or what the fuck ever, but he would just be there, laugh at their problems, inform them that they had an inaccurate understanding of things and needed enlightenened stupidity to save their asses, and he would provide this with extreme prejudice by waving his dick around liek a magic wand and making reality better.
to be continued…?
ok, crystalbrain is an insane god idiot brain that makes nft art. are you with me? crystalbrain likes the FUTURE and BRAINS and FRACTALS and making BEAUTY from out of their spacious, vacuous crystal brain.
you may buy this NFT here from zora.co
if you want to see a page that lists crystalbrain's NFTs with insane godlike rambling commentary by the brain theirself, view it here:
#nft #nftart
crystalbrain-space NFT 1/1
send ur 0.034 ETHs to:
ok, so i don't understand this. there is space, and it's melting, but it ain't liek heat that's doing it; no it's more running liek paint that got wet, just drippin around liek a woman in a bikini from the water i guess, do u know what i mean? why is p in brackets? if u take the p out, it says sace, which might be a word but if it is i'm too dumb 2 know it. i got an idea: i trained my brain how to read from the names of produkts i saw on the shelves in the grocecery store, so don't put brackets in stuff because it confuses me. i know, i know here's something to chew on: why r u lookin at me liek that? do u think i talk liek this and actually went to school instead of smoking crack with the janitor while he tried to teach me greek philosophy?
i have an idea: this image is the result of image manipulation, liek i'm taeking another image i made & i said "i don't liek this shit" & decided to make something better ok? and when the colors were all runny and drippy i was finally satisfied and said "ah hah! this is good!" and why is it good? becuz it took me 6 days to make this & i rested on the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th day, which gives u a week where you work for six days and rest for four, ok? that's really what i got 2 say about that and if u don't liek it u can kiss my my brainus.
crystalbrain-bull mitosis
[1/1] nft on zora.co (eth)
ok, so i feel like there is a strange, strange, eerie thing about this...like a god of bullshit or something is trying to reproduce his profits after putting his sperm in a bullshit egg. is this acceptable? we have become a society of bullshit, it's not hard to imagine that bullshit itself could be a subject of art. but this isn't just any bullshit, this is a really cool looking fractal representation of bullshit which begs to be traded among investors like the nest egg of a dude who bet all his money on TwatCoin or whatever shit people came up with. Is this acceptable for us who have to live with the financial fallout of a dude with like zero ethics sticking his dick in the ass of an obscene bull? I do not know. What was I even talking about, i have like seventeen psych meds to turn loose like ballerina dancers in my neurons, so pardon me while i take a chill pill. i guess you could say that i have a love-hate relationship with bullshit. it sometimes seems like our universe is made of bullshit, but it is not so, it is only the job of the bullshitters to make u think this so they can make u drink like, mandrake tea or something like that. are you still with me? i'm not still with me...bullshit has won this round.
crystalbrain-tiles of fate NFT 1/1
ok, why is this called tiles of fate?? i was projecting my brain into a video store with liek flesh-body attached and i saw there was a nintendo game called tiles of fate. what the fuck, it was unlicencensed, so it didnt look liek other nintendo cartrididges. so i bring it home and what the fuck, the game sucks. so that was not cool at all i guess, unless the tiles were made of drugs in which case u could freebase them i guess but they were in a video game so that's not possible right? right. anyways, i feel that these tiles are fated to make me famous, where ppl put lots of dollars in my bank account and put me on a pedestal and say "ur not a drug smoking loser, ur a winner!" and i have a VH1 special from the early 2000s about how i did a bunch of bad stuff then stopped.
but as u can see, this image is quite possibibly, definately, most surely tiled in a weird way, which gives it the charm that it has, which most definitely makes it a better fit for whatever mind trip ur on. maybe ur fated to be stuck inside a computer? i say nah, u just puff away liek cigarette smoke in the wind and ur dissississipated. is that so bad? did u want to be ur avatar in heaven? in hell? i don't want that shit, fuck that, someone give me liek a computer where i can control ur asses with my crystalbrain, that's my fate.
crystalbrain-circle of saddam NFT 1/1 on opensea
ok, so what u might not know about saddam hussein is that he really lieks his BDSM sex. liek, so much that he would totally do it involuntarily on people. i'll tell u somethin, smoking pipes of afghani opium and then hitting the crack pipe had a strange effect on saddam; he just sorta chilled out but became real detached about breaking peoples' ribs one at a time. i mean one time he had these dudes who were totally fucking sodomized with really sharp objekts, and i mean, do u really expect that guy to be able to shit after u shoved a cactus up the dude's ass? i mean come on, that's just fucked. but i mean, he lieked 2 torture ppl for fun, and since he was dictator he liek didn't need consent, he just had a bunch of dudes he randomly fucked in the ass secretly and they would round up ppl who were just tryin 2 mind their own business. then he'd offer them a crack rock and they would be too scared to turn it down; and so they'd be really high on crack while this dude is workin them over with all this medieval torture shit. he'd have his sons come over and we'd pass the pipe back and forth and take turns hitting dudes in the knees with a cricket bat. torture and crack cocaine really go well together; it's commonly known that crack makes u totally want 2 slowly kill a guy sometimes.
but dude, saddam had a total bottom side to himself, he was a switch, he'd be tied up with a ball gag and there was this special spot on his back he'd tell us to hit with teh blowtorch, and that was some grisly shit but he'd giggle liek a schoolgirl when u got it. he'd humiliate himself by watching the movie Hot Shots: Part Deux and then totally do the part where he puts his face on a bug zapper. in fact, they didn't do this in the movie but he put his penis on the bug zapper and he'd keep rubbing it against it until the flesh started melting off of it while we're hitting him on the back with a cat o' nine tails…dude was crazy. anyways, he was kind of a dangerous guy but i wasn't afraid of him, obviously he couldn't withstand my interdimensional superpowers. so anyways that's saddam, he liked his opium, his blunts with powdered freebase…he liked 2 kill the pain and then try 2 get the pain goin' as much as possible. dude never douched before we had our iraqi gay sex orgies tho.
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crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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