When One Of Your Best Friends Is 597 Years Younger Than You😔

So I recently bought the Revenge of the Sith novel by Matthew Stover and I just decided to flip it open to a random page just to see what the writing was like. Boy was I unprepared for the iconicness I discovered.

The part I read was this of this old hunchback guy in a cloak walking towards clone troopers (this is after the troopers start killing jedi) with a baby in his arms. He starts telling the troopers that it’s a jedi baby and the troopers are like “uuuhhh okay crazy old man with a really ugly deformed baby alert back away” but the old guy keeps insisting that the baby is a jedi so the troopers are like “how do you know? it could just be any random baby” and then the baby says “you can tell by my lightsaber” and kills the troopers. The baby was actually Yoda and the hunchback was Obi Wan.

 All I can imagine now was the conversation that led up to this very dramatic and hilarious ruse, and how exactly they came up with it. I kind of feel like it was the Star Wars equivalent of “Get Help” from Thor: Ragnarok???? Like???

Obi Wan: Hey Yoda, we should do “Jedi Baby.”

Yoda: Doing that, we are not.

Obi Wan: Oh come on, you love it!

Yoda: No.

Obi Wan: It’s great! It works every time!

Yoda: Humiliating, it is.

Obi Wan: Do you have a better plan?

Yoda: No.

Obi Wan: Excellent. We are doing it then.

Yoda: Doing “Jedi Baby” we are not.

……..

Obi Wan, 5 minutes later, cradling Yoda: Look! It’s a Jedi baby!

Five-oh-Thirst

Summary: The 501st boys have finally reached their breaking point; they just HAVE to have you, and Jesse makes it his mission to recruit you into their shenanigans. After a night out at 79’s, you’re spoilt by a handful of Troopers, and a Captain who’s late to the party.

Pairing: Female Jedi Reader x Rex, Jesse, Fives, Kix, Hardcase, Dogma & Tup

Word count: 12k

Tags: Shameless smut, Gangbang, Drinking, Double penetration, Praise kink, Voyeurism, Military names, Aftercare, Morning after pill.

Notes: this is so fucking slutty and i loved writing every second of it >:) sorry if some of the boys are a little OOC, im still new to writing these hotties. Tumblrs formatting is shite, so i’d suggest reading this on AO3 (under the same username.)

To say that you’re ‘close’ with the 501st is an understatement. Close isn’t quite the word you could use to describe the bond you have with this boisterous bunch of clones. You may be their Commander, but you’re also a friend, and soon to be a lover. You’ve had your fair share of drunken nights out with the lot, getting rowdy in 79’s, dragging each other’s asses home, falling asleep in cuddle piles in their barracks. Yes, you shouldn’t be mingling like this with your squad, but it’s hard to not get so attached.

Anakin has warned you over and over about both your attachment and feelings, but you’ve seen the way he talks to them, Rex specifically. Anakin has let his emotions lead him whenever his men are hurt or in danger, and maybe that’s why he always gives you a wink during his lectures. He knows what it’s like, and he’s only attempting to follow the Jedi code, teaching you in the process.

Keep reading

Breeding Session || Dom!Hawks x Sub!Ftm Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Breeding, Needy Hawks, and Creampies

A/n: My doc messed up and wouldn't reload even when i tried to get the edit history and lost like over half the fic so enjoy :,)

"Fucking hell," Keigo talks with heavy breathes in between his words. His rut having hit him hard and suddenly, the only solution of pumping his hand as fast as he could to fuck the fleshlight in his grasp was starting to be a task more than anything. His other hand in his hair as he leans sits against the bed's headboard. Angrily tilting his head back as he groans, being pissed it's a silicone toy instead of you, his pretty song bird, moaning and whimpering for him as he pounds into you. "Sh-shit!" He curses, he knows he's close, upset about wasting another load inside a toy rather than his boyfriend. Groaning and panting as he feels himself getting closer and closer to his 3rd orgasm. 

Jackhammering into the fleshlight as he thrust his hips up, slamming his hand down at the same time to stimulate his balls. Too busy cumming with loud groans and quiet whines inside the toy to realize you're finally home from work. Only sensing you're here when he hears the creek of the floorboards in your penthouse apartment. A specific spot in the shared building that Keigo has come to memorize. Pupils narrowing as he quickly moves to clean himself up as best he can with the towel he had placed underneath him. Moving to get to the bedroom door before you, eager to touch you, hold you, kiss you, fuck you.

He's determined to make it happen, now that he has his pretty boy, there's no way in hell Hawks is going to let you escape him. He's waited too long for you to get home, waited too long to breed you. "Keigo?" you call, opening the door a split second before he gets to it, having just the towel over him with the fleshlight propped up in the home made nest of your clothes on the bedside table as to not spill any cum from the toy. Dropping the towel so he can grab your arms as you enter the bedroom, quickly spinning you from the door to the wall off to the side of it, becoming slightly startled with concern soon replacing it as you look at Keigo. Realizing what's going on from just looking at him, pupils small and in slits as he breathes heavily, 

Placing your hands on the sides of his face as a sign you’re here to help, having been with the man for allowing you to understand and know what he gets like during rut, the small gesture sending Keigo over the edge as he leans forward quickly to kiss you hungrily. His tongue in your mouth almost immediately, the kiss sloppy and already making you drool, the moan he lets out is downright sinful as you hear it, practically feeling it in your mouth as his hand work on your clothes. Trying desperately to get you out of them as quickly as he can, undoing your work shirt and pulling the buttoned top off you, pulling from you lips gently as he kisses your neck and shoulders.

Turning you around with his hand on your waist, skillfully keeping his lips on your kiss as he walks you backwards towards the bed, feeling him fall on top of you as he lowers his lips to your stomach. A sneaky way to be more confident in taking off your pants before he stands up, satisfied when he sees your boxers exposed, simply tearing them off you, impatient as ever when spring hits him. Getting on his knees to suck your hardening cock, groaning loudly at the feeling of you in his mouth, your hands tangle in his hair with your head tilted back, a moan ripping through you as his tongue lays flat against you.

Giving you slow puppy licks as he takes your legs and places your things on his shoulders, eagerly eating you out as his tongue moves to your entrance, soon being replaced with two fingers gently entering you as he moves back to suck your dick. Fingerings your cunt vigorously to prepare you for his cock, eager to be inside you and breed, the quiet and gentle moans you let out only spurring him on, feeling him pull from your cunt, fingerings leaving your entrance. The feeling making you whine and crave more, fully knowing you'll get just that in a few short moments as he stands, simply telling to "Scoot up," in a low and raspy voice. 

An obvious sign to you that he's been moaning or at least being loud while using the fleshlight you quickly noticed, doing as he says so he can crawl atop of you. Soon feeling his tip rest poke at your entrance, not entering you as Keigo pleads silently, his eyes soft as when gently whines at you, rubbing his cock up and down against your pussy. Reaching your hand out just a bit to have him lean down further down, making him lower the hand he was using to support himself up, suddenly bends and he's only using his forearm.

Pushing your head up to kiss him softly, hearing his gentle whimper, pulling away too much to kiss dismay as he whines to try and continue the kiss, leaning forward each time you pull away to reconnect your lips. "Kei," he kisses you again, "Kei," you say again in between his kisses, "Keigo," the stern tone finally getting his attention, his eyes wide and alter with his wings flared up, spread out to show he's listening, "Gonna breed me, huh pretty bird?" The gentle tone of your deep voice gets to him wings now fully pointed up, almost touching the ceiling of the bedroom, eyes sharpening and pupils once again becoming small lines in his irises.

"F-fuck!" you yell, immediately feeling him push inside you, thankful for your wetness and his precum because of the speed he instantly starts to use, head thrown back as you gasp. Feeling him rise off you and swiftly moving onto his knees while lifting your hips up yo fuck into your cunt. Biting your lip as you look at him, a beautiful sight above you as you hear his soft and quiet pants, head tilted back but face still slightly visible, eyes closed and mouth slightly hung open. Brows furrowed as he thrust almost erratically, only a slight rhythm prevailing as he tryst to fuck you properly, always having been a man for intimate sex rather than a quickie or animalistic fucking.

"K-keigo," you hiccup, watching him flap the ends of his wings to show his attention is on your voice with his lidded eyes looking at you as he pants, "Fuck me!" You gasp, feeling him pause at the command, shock subtle on his face before he leans down to curl his hips into at an insanely fast pace while over you. His head to the side of yours as he whimpers, the sloppy but steady pattern now gone as he thrust however he feels like, hearing his wing flap quickly and feeling the small amount of wind he's creating on your skin."Keigo," the stern tone finally getting his attention, his eyes wide and alter with his wings flared up, spread out to show he's listening, "Gonna breed me, huh pretty bird?" The gentle tone of your deep voice gets to him, wings now fully pointed up, almost touching the ceiling of the bedroom, eyes sharpening and pupils once again becoming small lines in his irises.

Feeling him once again lean on top of you once more as he rushes to cum inside you, pounding into you at an insanely fast pace, the hero work and exercises paying off as makes you scream, feeling him hit deep inside you as he lets out breathy moans. Panting every now and then with quiet groans leaving his throat, feeling him move to grab your hands and intertwining you fingers as he holds your hand, arms bent to line up with each others as you hear him speak, “Gonna!- Gonna cum!”  he hiccups. Whining as he feels himself getting close, the difference of the toy and you driving him over the edge faster than he himself would like, the final straw is when you tell him to, almost demanding him to breed you, “Cum inside pretty bird, breed me,” is all it takes. 

Feeling the warmth of his cum spread inside you as he gives a final few shallow thrust, breathing heavy and groaning as he pauses inside you, feeling just some of his cum spilling out of you as you turn your head to look at him. Kissing his cheek softly to get his attention, not leaning to do any more work as he connects your lips in another slow kiss. His hips starting to move once again, slowly and shallowly as cum spills every time he pulls out and pushes back in, whining into the kiss as he fucks you gently, pulling away occasionally tp speak, “Feel so good,” he kissed you, “Just wanna stay inside you forever,” another kiss. “My pretty song bird.”

Soon pushing his tongue past your lips to desperately explore your mouth in a wet and noisy french kiss,your hands tangling again in his hair as he picks up the pace and intensity, moving one hand to let go of yours to jerk your t-dick. The pleasure getting to you as you moan into his mouth, a comical string of spit connecting the two of you as he moves away, lifting you up to bend your legs as he’s on his knees. Holding your waist to push and pull you onto his dick, moving your hands to rest on his  abdomen with your head thrown back, both of you moaning like you’re making a damn porno. Moving one hand back to your cock to make you cum, the rough and deep voice he speaks in telling you so. “Cum for me song bird, please I need it, come on baby,” rubbing your dick quickly as you cry out, knowing you're in for a long few nights.

The loud noises you make as he picks up the pace of not only his hips but his hands, telling him he’s doing a good job, taking your sounds as praise as you hear him loudly whine and gasp, practically screaming out, “I’m gonna cum!” Spurring him on to move at an impossibly fast rate, “C-cum with me!” he cries, soon following the command as your tightening walls cause him to cum inside you again. The feeling of him filling you up as your body tightens with the harsh orgasm ripping through you, screaming out as he falls on top of you, almost completely limp on you as he breathes heavily. The two of you pants with exhaustion, whining as he pulls out, softening dick resting against your thigh as he turns you two over to the side of the bed, laying best he can without the pool of cum in the middle of the bed touching either of you.

Softly breathing as he regains his composure, falling asleep rather quickly, turning to fix the hair stuck to his face best you can with your back to him, simply laying in silence as he hums quietly in his sleep, knowing he’ll wake up and want more.

jewelry of every kind

no thoughts except Spencer wearing MGG’s rings…

Summary: Spencer tries out wearing more accessories and you decide to show him just how much you love them.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: 18+ Content (NSFW/NSFM), smut, hand kink, finger sucking, choking, fingering, piv sex

Word Count: 1.3k

“Those are new,” you say, motioning to Spencer’s hands as he skims through the contents of a file with sleep.

Scattered across his fingers were four golden rings of various sizes and shapes, but the one that took you by surprise most was the large round pinky ring.

“Hm,” he mumbles, jolting is head up from his work, his sleepy eyes meeting yours. “Oh, these? I’ve always had them sitting around, I figured it was probably time I wore them.” Then, he went back to his work.

You cozy yourself onto the couch cushion beside where Spencer was still hunched over, running his lengthy fingers down each page. Normally, this alone was enough to do you in, but the addition of how his hands looked donning jewelry made your head spin.

“I like them,” you caught his right hand as he reaches the end of a page, bringing it up to your face, “a lot…”

Before Spencer could switch his brain off from work mode, you had taken his thumb into your mouth and began to suck on it with just enough pressure to make his nerves stand on end.

The paper still in his free hand fell onto the coffee table and an uncontrollable gasp came from his lips.

"Oh it's like that?" Spencer inquired, watching you intensely as you looked at him with wide pleading eyes.

"Mhm," you hum, causing a vibration that ran up from his thumb and up to his neck. "Makes me want them inside of me so bad."

Without warning, Spencer draws you to straddle his lap and into a passionate kiss. As his tongue found his way into your mouth to explore, his fingers drifted to part your robe where he discovered your bareness underneath.

"God, y/n... nothing underneath?" he asks, slipping a finger down your slit and feeling your warmth already pooling. "And so wet for me already."

His finger dips further into your center and the cool metal of one of his rings brushes against your clit, eliciting an instinctive moan to cry from your throat.

"Does it feel good, angel?" Spencer purred, slipping another finger in and curling them to hit your sensitive spot.

Another cry bellowed from your lips, throwing your head back in the process. "Yes, yes so good, Spence."

The arch of your back made your robe come completely undone, revealing your swollen breasts. Without missing a beat, Spencer brought his mouth to one of them, biting them gently. As he did so, his fingers pumped in and out of you faster, the metal providing a stinging cold sensation against the heat growing from your wetness and the friction. You feel an ache begin to grow in your abdomen and pressure build as he increases the dexterity of his fingers, eventually you find your release around them slicking his fingers with even more of your arousal.

As you come down from your high, Spencer slowly removes his fingers and brings them to your parted lips with a devilish grin. You run your tongue in between them, your arousal coating your tongue before taking his digits completely in your mouth, nearly touching the golden accessories that had started your obsession.

Your cum tasted musky and sweet upon your tongue, but you wanted so desperately for Spencer to taste it, too - so you kissed him deeply, gliding your tongue against his.

"You always taste so good, baby," he growls, the feeling of his erection growing underneath you.

"Mmm, you know what? I've been wanting to wear a certain piece of jewelry again for awhile," you state, unbuckling his pants while grinding against him lightly.

Spencer could hardly form words with you touching his bulge, but he managed to croak, "W-which one is that?"

As you pulled his pants completely to the ground, springing his cock up to his navel, you leaned in to whisper, "Your hand as my necklace."

A guttural groan escaped him and it sounded like a melody to your ears. You glided your folds on top of his erection before sinking down on him at an achingly slow pace, causing Spencer to firmly grasp one of your ass cheeks and the other to grip the back cushion of the couch.

When you reached the point of being completely full of him, Spencer suddenly began to fuck up into you with growing force and pace. Taking you by surprise, you whimper and attempt to regain your pace by placing your hands upon his braced chest. Without warning, his hand shoots to clasp around your throat, squeezing gently.

"Is this what you meant, angel?" he asked, adding extra pressure and thrusting into you with more force.

You let out a desperate moan and respond, "Y-yes, sir. Doesn't it look so pretty on me?"

"Yes," Spencer rubs his thumb against the peak of your throat and admires it as he speaks. "It looks like it was made for you."

The pressure of his hand around your throat makes your arousal grow and drip down onto the base of his cock freely. The sounds of your bodies slapping to together with a perfected rhythm in combination with your exchanges of whimpers and moans make your body rise with chills. His ringed hand clasping your throat, the way he looked in ecstasy with his eyes rolled back, and the way that he completely filled you made you closer and closer to your second climax.

"I love you so much, y/n - fuck," Spencer huffed, his cock growing harder with every sloppy thrust.

His hand moves from your throat to intertwine through your hair, yanking it back to reveal your red and tender neck. Quickly, he leans forward to place open-mouthed kisses along the faint swollen hand print. The sensitivity of your neck translated to the increasing sensitivity between your legs.

"I - I love you, too, Spence," you say breathlessly, reaching down to gently rub your clit in a desperate attempt to release yourself.

"Oh, how pitiful, angel. Are you close to cumming again?" he murmured, nibbling gently on your earlobe and grasping both of your ass cheeks firmly.

All you can manage is a whimper of confirmation as your eyes close and your breath tightens.

"We can cum together, okay?" he hums, feeling your walls tighten around his pulsing dick.

"Y-yes, please, please," you faintly whisper, your clit becoming nearly numb with pleasure.

Spencer readjusts himself underneath you to hit your cervix perfectly, eliciting a genuine sob of pain and need from your lips. His grip on your backside became close to clawing into your skin, but it only increased the euphoria of your ever approaching high.

A few more deep thrusts was all it took for both of you to fall apart. Spencer cried out your name with sweat beading against his brow while he released his seed deep into your throbbing core. You nearly collapsed on top of him from the weakness of your thighs as they shook with your release. The tightness of his grip only grew as he lifted you up and down a few more times to make sure that you were completely full of him.

As both of you came down from your high, you found yourself kissing one another with a tired passion that was full of the most permeating intimacy. The nearly drunken feeling that it caused was suddenly cut off by Spencer's hand placing a stingingly firm slap upon your ass.

"I think I left a mark," Spencer said teasingly, examining your throat and backside.

"I sure hope so," you respond, bringing his hands up to cup your breasts.

He places a soft kiss upon your lips before saying, "So, you're saying I should wear these more often?" Spencer twirls his pinky ring suggestively.

"You better," you said, toying with his hands. "I'd like to wear my necklace more often, too."

Bringing you into a deep embrace, he chuckled lightly, "Your wish is my command, angel. And how could I possibly deny you?"

please feel free to request! (or let me know what you think!)

friend had an idea and i made a thing based on it. behold:

carlos and jill in my resident evil: figure skating!au :D

+ a doodle of claire and sherry

Inktober Day 3: Bait

Couldn't help myself. XD @buff-anime-jay I thought of you

Soo there's this resident evil mod.......