FUCK. HYPNONE I LOVE YOU.
FUCK. HYPNONE I LOVE YOU.
Why Have You Waited So Long? - You have come far, chapter 2
Come by, chapter 1
WC: 2380
Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Near Death Experience, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: He wasn’t an attention whore, he really wasn’t, he was just- he was just so broken. It hurt so much. “It’ll get better, after the tour,” Phantom was telling himself, “they’ll warm up to me, it’ll get better. They’ll notice.”
Notes: due to a popular demand I present part two including some comfort. just a bit though because I do love angst, OKAY???
Read chapter 2 under the cut or on AO3.
Phantom was getting worse.
The solitude had made him sick, he knew it would happen. It wasn’t in ghoul’s nature to be alone, his system was protesting, begging Phantom to get help.
It wasn’t only his quintessence sounding alarms, trying to hold his small body from breaking with all its might. He saw himself rotting, he was getting paler and paler every day, skinnier too, his eyes were dull, barely any colour left in them, the tips of his horns were cracking and breaking off, crumbling into dust. Every day he woke up with more of it on his pillows.
He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, so he broke it, pieces of shattering glass assaulting his fist only adding to the sick satisfaction.
He had been barely leaving his room the whole break between European and American tours, only when absolutely needed. To get some food, once every two weeks or so. To sulk through additional rehearsals, pretending he was alive and well.
He wasn’t neither alive nor well.
Phantom felt bad about getting sick, at the beginning, thinking about how his sickness could ruin the rest of the tour. But then he thought Aether could get back, it would be an emergency. Did any of the people that would be met with problems after Phantom’s death deserve him feeling bad about it?
He wanted to say no, but he could never really hate anyone, so he told himself yes. Yes, he was awful for getting sick and yes, he’d be awful for dying, only causing problems.
But Phantom did survive the break. Somehow.
That was even worse than if he wouldn't, now he had to go and act like he was fine not only in front of himself or a few ghouls and Papa, no, now he had to fool thousands.
He didn’t think he’d manage.
He‘d been quiet during their journey, on the bus, in the hotel. He was too tired to speak and no one would listen to him anyway.
The day before the first show Phantom slept as much as possible, forcing his own quintessence to all but knock himself unconscious. He stumbled through preparations for the Ritual, through the soundcheck.
He squeezed out some quintessence that was not concentrated on keeping him alive to give himself somewhat of an energy boost, just before they stepped on stage. He never had any issues with handling the Fantomen, but that night it weighed him down impossibly more.
He just needed to get through the show, he could do that. He’d certainly try.
The lights were so bright. Too bright, even with the darkened lenses of their helmets.
It was too loud, the crowd, the music.
Phantom’s clothes, even being looser than originally because of how much weight he had lost, were somehow too tight, too constricting.
He couldn’t breathe, he felt impossible weight crushing his chest.
It hurt so much.
His head was pounding, vision blurry, the sound of blood pumping in his ears nauseating.
Phantom was sure that was it.
He felt awful for it. He couldn’t possibly be such an attention whore to drop dead in the middle of a performance, could he? He had to hold on, he didn’t want to ruin anyone’s night.
The show seemed to last forever, he thought it’d never end. That it’d be his punishment for being such a failure - being stuck in an endless loop of misery and agonising pain.
But it did end, finally.
Phantom doesn’t really remember chucking a bunch of picks at the audience, getting gifts from the fans, the bows. It was easier to zone out, not remember.
Because he’d have to remember the burning of a hand gripping his own, too.
He remembers getting off stage, tumbling down a few small steps and the thud his helmet made as it collided with the floor.
He made it through that one show… but no more.
***
“Lus, I- I can’t b- believe, how did we-” Phantom heard someone sobbing. Aurora, he thought, but he couldn’t make a sense out of her choked out words.
Wait.
Where was he?
“I know, sweetheart,” it had to be Cumulus now. Her voice also sounded… wet. “We failed, all of us, but don’t take it out on yourself.”
Phantom was… he was warm? Why was he warm, it was always so cold, what-
“Shhh, don’t freak out,” someone whispered, right into his ear. He panicked, suddenly too warm, too hot, melting. His only instinct was to run away, clawing at what tried to hold him in place. Or who.
Phantom scrambled away and bumped into something that was probably a corner of... wherever he was. He curled into a tight ball, tail wrapped around his body protectively and hissed. He didn’t want to look up, look around. He didn’t want to know where he was, who he was with.
He just wanted to be gone. He didn’t want to hurt anymore.
“Phantom, hey, hey. It’s okay, you’re safe,” was it Swiss? It sounded like Swiss.
Why was saying that, why was he lying?
Phantom lifted his head, just a bit, just enough to peek from behind his arms. It was Swiss.
“Do you want me to get someone else? One of the girls? Rain?” he felt himself shaking his head. It looked like they were in the back lounge of their tour bus, it was turned into a big nest. The multi ghoul was crouching by one end of it, Phantom curled in the corner furthest away from him.
That warmth… was he- was Swiss touching him?
“Breathe, bug, deep breaths,” he said and Phantom was so tired, so weak, he couldn’t not obey. He tried to breathe, sharp inhales followed by shaky exhales, over and over again.
Swiss was watching him like a hawk, barely even blinking. Phantom tried to curl into himself more, to hide from that intense stare, the attention he was not used to.
It seemed like ages had passed before the quintessence ghoul could be considered even relatively calm. Swiss didn’t move, only offered soothing words from time to time.
Phantom wanted to hate him, hate them all, but he was so exhausted and so lonely, he clinged to every single sound that escaped Swiss’ mouth like a lifeline. He was finally getting something, he finally got noticed. He had to treasure what he was getting now, it’d be over too quickly.
“There you go,” Swiss sighed, all sad. Why was he so sad? Did Phantom ruin the show after all? “Are you back with me?”
Phantom nodded. Was he, really?
“Okay, good. Can I come closer?” He thought about it for a moment? Did he want Swiss to get closer? To touch him? He thought he wanted nothing more in the world but what if it… what if it hurt? “I’ll be gentle, I promise, bug. I need you to trust me.”
Phantom nodded.
Swiss smiled softly, even though his eyes were betraying his sadness. He slowly crawled over to the quintessence ghoul, one hand carefully reaching out. It hovered over Phantom’s knee, Swiss searching for any signs of hesitation on the other’s side. He let it gently fall when he found none.
Phantom flinched, there was no way to prevent that, but soon sobbed in something like… relief.
“Good?” Swiss asked and received a nod in return. “More? Would you like a hug?”
“P- please,” he choked out, his throat tight, eyes burning with tears.
The multi ghoul slowly but surely wrapped his strong arms around Phantom’s shaking form, covering him whole with his body. He immediately went limp, wails tearing out of his throat as Swiss held him. “That’s it, let it out. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, bug. I’ve got you now, I won’t leave.”
Phantom could barely breathe, he was choking on tears, body convulsing in Swiss’ grip as he clinged to the multi ghoul like he’d turn to dust and disappear and Phantom would never be held again.
“Everything will be okay, I won’t leave you. I won’t let it get bad again, I’ve got you,” Swiss whispered, rocking them back and forth, doing his best to release some of his own quintessence into the room, even if now crying himself.
How could he, all of them, be so blind, ignorant, awful? How did they miss all the signs, how did they let it get so bad? Why didn’t they take care of him from the beginning? What the fuck was wrong with them?
“N- no, you- you can’t give me h- hope, I can’t hope anymore,” Phantom cried and despite his words clutched Swiss tighter.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I-” Swiss sniffled, “there’s nothing I can do to fix it but-”
“Y- you can’t just- just decide to fix it n- now," the quintessence ghoul’s wails only increased in volume. How did they miss how broken he was? “It doesn’t work like that.”
“I know, fuck, I’m so sorry, lemme- please let me try to make it up to you, let me try to make it better, please, Phantom, I’m begging you, let me try.”
“You j- just feel bad I nearly flipped, it- it’s not real,” his words felt like a punch in the guts but Swiss knew how justified it was. He failed so fucking bad.
“No, it’s not- I mean, of course I feel fucking bad, you have no idea how bad. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to feel loved, it’s not- fuck, I don’t know what to say,” Swiss’ voice cracked. He thought that if Phantom really did die, he’d go right after him. How did they fail so badly?
“Just… just try, but I-” Phantom was hyperventilating, there was no breath left in his lungs. He hoped it wouldn’t get wasted by the things he wanted to say. “‘M not gonna survive another one, I’m fuckin’ stupid but I- it needs to be real, Swiss. I can’t take any more.”
“Baby… oh, sweetheart,” the multi ghoul sobbed, “I promise you, I’ve got you, ‘m not gonna let anything happen to you, you won’t be alone ever again, fuck, I’m so, so, sorry.”
Phantom didn’t have any more words, neither did Swiss. He could apologise over and over again but it made no sense. He cradled the quintessence ghoul in his arms, tears and snot soaking into each other’s clothes, held him for what seemed like hours. It probably was.
Swiss didn’t know when Phantom blacked out, he thought he did too. He remembers Rain staring down at them from the bus’ corridor with tears flowing down his own cheeks. The multi ghoul nodded at them with a pleading look, silently asking him to join.
Rain got down on his knees and crawled over to Phantom and Swiss, helping the latter to rearrange them to somewhat of a more comfortable position. They then glued themself to Phantom’s back, squeezing the ghoul between him and Swiss.
Some time later they heard socked feet shuffling in their direction. Dewdrop.
Even before he fully laid down behind Rain, Mountain appeared in the doorway, and it didn’t take much for the three ghoulettes to make their way over to the nest too.
They should all fall onto their knees before Phantom and beg him for forgiveness, but he didn’t want that. He may be stupid for still allowing himself that tiny droplet of hope but all he wanted now was love. He wanted, needed, to be loved.
He truly wouldn’t survive more heartbreak.
***
Fans seemed to enjoy Phantom getting more lively, more confident on stage, finally allowing himself some more… intimate interactions with his bandmates. Finally being allowed touch.
But he couldn’t not feel like all the attention he was now getting was just a way for the ghouls to not feel bad about nearly letting him die. He was fine if he didn’t think about it, but at the end of the day he was just a stray animal that had stumbled into their home and they took him in out of pity, to not feel like they were awful people, to not feel guilty.
It would surely end when they got back to the Abbey, he had to soak all the comfort on the road if he wanted to have any chances at living on.
Phantom couldn’t believe it was real when they did return and he was still being seen. He was being invited for cuddles, for movie nights, game nights.
Never left behind, anymore. Never being forgotten.
Touch didn’t burn anymore, it warmed him both outside and inside in the best possible way.
He was… happier. Way happier, even though he felt like a fraud, like a mismatched puzzle piece forcefully shoved among the others. He caught himself thinking about it all ending, a lot. It was a reasonable fear with how it used to be.
Months later, years, when he’d be alone, he’d be vulnerable to the words the vile voice in the back of his head would throw at him. And he would believe them.
He’d remember his first year on earth and realise his pack had never actually cared for him, they were still pretending, still feeling guilty about his past loneliness, the sickness they missed until it was nearly too late.
But now every time Phantom cries someone hears him.
They don’t let him feel alone, don’t let him be cold.
“What’s on your mind, bug?” Swiss stopped his racing train of thoughts. Phantom burrowed further into his side. Rain, glued to his back, mumbled something incoherent into his neck.
“Nothing,” the quintessence ghoul sighed.
“You sure? Everything okay?” It was no wonder Swiss worried, they all did now. They were all afraid of doing something wrong, of breaking Phantom again.
“Would you mind shutting up? Tryin’ to sleep here,” Dew snarled with no real venom from Swiss’ other side.
“Let them be,” Mountain scolded him, tightening his hold on the fire ghoul.
“I’m sure,” Phantom whispered into Swiss’ chest and let his eyes slip shut again.
His pack would never forgive themselves for neglecting him like they did, they’d keep doing everything in their power to make him feel loved, cared for, cared about.
And maybe in some time Phantom would stop doubting it was real.
More Posts from Dearspiritss and Others
OH MY FUCK- HELLO?!?? FIC WRITERS PLEASE HEAR MY CALLS 🙏
(move Sodo, it’s my turn)
I’m SORRY but like… WHAT?!?
yes.
What if Rain trips over himself and falls on stage because he just cannot see shit. Like, fish boy is damn near blind without some thick-ass glasses. He, of course, refuses to wear them because they don't fit ~his vibe~ and he would rather look hot than be able to see.
CHAPEL OF RIZZTUAL COMING IN AGAIN FUELING THE FREAKY FUCKS OF TUMBLR🙏
Thinking about that one vid of Phantom dropping to his knees for Dew…how easy he went down ….so unprompted…
Hmmmmm please say more. Please. Pretty please? 🥺
“On your knees.”
That was the first thing Phantom heard when he walked into the dressing room, fresh off stage. He’d only just had time to hand his guitar off to a stage hand and take his helmet and balaclava off.
He dropped to his knees without a second thought, watching as Dew steps out from the shadows.
“Open your mouth.”
His mouth drops open. He doesn’t even think about it, just obeys the command. The bored, unimpressed look on Dews face only makes him want to obey more, to be good for him.
“Hands behind your back.”
His hands are behind his back faster then he can even register. The way Dew is ordering him around, like it’s nothing to him, had his cock twitching on his pants.
He fidgets on his knee, his cock rapidly filling out and pressing against the zipper of his jeans. Dew walks over to him, standing between his legs and presses a boot covered foot into his crotch.
“Be still.”
Phantom stills immediately, despite the pressure Dew was putting on his dick. He desperately wanted to roll his hips onto the bottom of Dews boot but the look Dew was giving him made him want to shrink back and hide.
Dew places two fingers under Phantom's chin and tilts his head back so he’s look up at the fire ghoul. He smiles down at him, but it’s sinister, filling Phantom with worry and fear.
“Good boy.”
Phantom couldn’t stop the whimper that left his lips even if he tried. Dew laughs at him, throwing his head back.
“Satan, you’re pathetic.”
Phantom whimpers again, his eyes fluttering, filling with tears.
Dew laughs again, taking a few steps back until the back of knees hit the sofa and he sits, spreading his legs wide.
“Come.” He points to the floor between his legs.
Phantom goes to stand but gets cut off by the stern look Dew gives him.
“No.” Dew shakes his head at him. “I didn’t say you could stand, did I?” He point to the floor between his legs once again. “Now, come. Don’t make me ask you again.”
Phantom crawls towards him on all fours, ignoring how his knees crack beneath him. Dew smiles at him once again, sinister and full of fangs.
“Good puppy.”
A moan is punched out of Phantom and his hips buck onto the air. Dews smile is replaced back with that unimpressed look from before and he pushes his boot back into the hard outline of Phantoms cock.
“I thought I told you to be still?”
“I’m-im sorry. I just-“ He’s cut off by Dew tutting and shaking his head at him.
“I didn’t say you could speak, did I?” Phantoms jaw snaps shut so fast the sound of his teeth clashing together echos around the the room.
Dew looks down at him with disappointment written all over his face. “And I told you to keep your mouth open.” He shakes his head with a sign. “You’re not being very good, Phantom.” The unshed tears from before roll down his cheeks now and he shudders.
Dew shoves his thumbs between Phantoms lips and forces his jaw open. “Keep it open this time, or else I'll leave you here for someone else to find and use.” He shakes Phantoms head on his grasp. “Maybe you’ll be better behaved for Someone else.” More tears run down Phantom cheeks and he lets out a gasped sob. Dew strokes along his cheek with one finger. “Oh I know, puppy. You’re trying so hard to be good.”
Phantom nods, looking up at Dew with big wet eyes.
Dew undoes the strings of his jeans, pulling them down just enough to pull his cock out. Phantom drools at the sight of it, the only thing he can think about is it being shoved down his throat so hard he can’t breath.
Dew hits the head of cock against Phantom bottom lip, smearing precum with the saliva that wets his lip.
“Yeah? You want it, puppy?”
Phantom nods, unable to take his eyes away from Dew. Dew uses Phantoms horns to guide his mouth onto his cock, letting it sit in his mouth for a second before pulling his head down all the way so Phantoms nose is buried in his pubes. He gives a few experimental thrusts, feeling his head nudging at the back of Phantom throat.
He looks down at Phantom, watching his eyes roll back into his skull as his mouth gets used. Dew smiles down at him, a proper smile this time. “Good boy.”
I keep forgetting how much of a fucking UNIT Swiss is. I’m only like 2 inches taller than Aurora so I’m perfect tit height I’d be fucked :D (I would not mind)
i just think that-
do you wanna know how I'm doing with the knowledge I'm dews size...? NOT FUCKING OKAY
This took a while but here's part 2 of my ghoul designs, this time with Phantom and Aether
Part 1 can be found here
Headcanons under the cut:
Quintessence ghouls:
They often have two-toned hair and can be different shades of blue, violet, and gray
There is a slight glow that can be seen from their eyes and mouth, their eye color is the same as their tongue color
They can easily blend in around gargoyle statues as some of the statues in the ministry are inspired/modeled after previously summoned quintessence ghouls
The most "human-passing" among the other ghouls
Phantom:
There was an accident during his and Aurora's summoning ritual due to a build-up of quintessence magic, this caused the right side of his face to become deformed
Because of this, his face is partially frozen so he exaggerates his facial expressions to show his emotions
He makes use of quintessence magic to sense things on his blind side meaning he will know if someone sneaks up on him but lets them surprise him anyway to play along
Aether:
He's not the tallest in the pack but the buffest, he often has tasks in moving equipment and other things
He flicks his ears unconsciously when he's annoyed though it does help him hear things better
At one point, he was very self-conscious about his tooth gap but the others reassured him that he looked fine (Don't ask Dewdrop if he thinks Aether's smile is cute, he is in denial)
“Unravel.” - Aether/Dew/Rain
Kinktober day 4/5: rimming and sweat
Again- AHHH! Late! I combined ‘em to make it a bit easier. COMPLETE SHOCK FOR @finch-does-stuff BTW 🤞
Dew loved it when it was like this.
Leaned against Aether’s front with Rain between his legs, licking him out like a starved man. His blood ran like magma, thick and hot. The contrast of Rain’s cold, wet tongue, drove him crazy. Aether wasn’t any help, either; Kissing, licking, and grabbing at the fire ghoul’s soft flesh. He makes sure to praise Rain for his tongue, praises him so he knows how good he did. The two made his brain melt out of his ears, completely overwhelming him.
Rain loved it when it was like this.
His tongue buried in Dew, pressing into the deepest parts of him. He could get off just by the sounds he and the quint were constantly pulling from the ghoul. His claws digging into Dew’s crème colored thighs, promising barely noticeable scars and deep bruises. This place is one of the only places he can be reminded of the past water ghoul, as wet as can be no matter how hot he ran. The sweet satisfaction of Dew’s thighs trapping his head as he came, shaking and twitching as he slowly pulls away. He wipes the mixture of slick and drool from his chin, drinking down the praise falling from both Dew and Aether’s lips.
Aether loved it when it was like this.
He loved the sweet smell of cinnamon and caramel that surrounded the ghoul, he loved how drunk he would get off of it. He loves being able to watch and feel Dew shake under his hands as he gets dangerously close to the edge. He loved tasting the sugary, sweet sweat that drips down onto Dew’s neck. He licks it up greedily, adoring the way the spice of him burns his throat. The was Rain groans when Dew locks his head in place as he cums, coating his chest, sends him into a frenzy of praise to the two of them.
They all loved it when it was like this, and they all loved each other. Sickeningly so.
A very good “bonding exercise” indeed.
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Mountain/Aeon/Aether
Tags: Blowjobs, Anal Sex, Brief Voyeurism, Mind Magic
Summary: Mountain probably should have looked at his phone sooner.
Author's Note: This barely counts as today's Kinktober entry but there's still three hours left of Mountain Monday in my time zone, so. That's got to count for something. Not sure what though.
OH MY- UGH- I CANNOT- AHHHHHH
DUDE CHILL THE FUCK OUT
“Aggressive.” - Swiss/Dew
+ some Mount content.
Kinktober day 3: hate sex WARNING: no prep used
Sorry it’s very late, I’m working on it >:( For now, enjoy!
He doesn’t know how long they’ve been like this, nor does he care. He’s so fucking over it.
Dew and Swiss had been at each others throats for a week now, and no one knows why. The only thing that everyone knows is that they keep dragging Mountain into it, and he’s sick of it. He was happy to help in the beginning, thinking that it would settle their feud, but he soon found out how wrong he was.
If Mountain were to choose one’s side, the other would throw a fit. It only added the tension between the two, making them impossibly worse.
The sharp sound of glass shattering pulled him from his afternoon nap. He groaned, dragging himself to find where the sound came from. When he walked into the kitchen, he immediately spotted Dew and Swiss on opposite sides of the island. Swiss had Aurora and Phantom at his sides, and Dew had Rain and Cirrus at his own. “What the fuck happened.”
They all turned around, eyes wide and jaws hung open. Dew managed to slip out of the two ghoul’s hands and ran over to the earth ghoul. “Mount, Swiss was being mean..” He looked up at Mountain with watery eyes, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. “Don’t let him butter you up! The fucker threw a plate at me!” Dew growled in the multi’s direction.
“Enough. I’ve had enough of you two and your bullshit.” He spoke firmly, picking Dew up and throwing him over his shoulder. “The fuck do you think you’re doin?!” Mountain ignored the fire ghoul, making his way in long strides over to Swiss. “I’ve tried to help, but it seems like neither of you want to listen.” He wrapped an arm around Swiss’ waist, hauling him underneath his arm.
“Mount, what are you doing?!” He growled down at Swiss, and he went silent. He grumbled all the way back to the hall about how tired he was and how they woke him up from his nap, but the two couldn’t focus on a word he was saying. They knew they were fucked, Mountain was pissed.
Kicking open the door and dropping the two gentle onto the floor, he crossed his arms and stared at the two. “You two are going to stay in here until you settle whatever issue you’ve got going on. I don’t care if you talk it out or fuck it out, just do whatever you need to do to fix it.” And with that he slammed the door shut, locking it from the outside.
Swiss winced as he stood, holding onto his side. “He didn’t have to be so- shit- fucking rough.” Dew rolled his eyes and stood as well, crossing his arms. “Can handle getting roughed up? Pathetic.” Dew scoffed, rolling his eyes. Within a second, he went from standing to being pinned down onto the bed. “Swiss- get the fuck off me!” He hissed and scratched, but failed, going limp under the multi.
“The only reason we’re like this right now is because you can’t take a fucking joke.” Dew laughed, turning his head. “You call that a joke? You insulted my appearance.” Swiss looks down at him with disbelief. “Yes! It was a fucking joke, Dew! I said you looked like death, I was just trying to lighten the mood.” The fire ghoul rolled his eyes, mocking Swiss. “Yeah right.”
Swiss flipped him over in one swift movement, dragging his hips up. “You always have such a nasty attitude about everything just to get attention. You want attention so bad? I’ll give it to you.” With that, he tore Dew’s sweatpants off and threw them to the side. “Wait, wait, wait- Swiss,“ He growled and Dew shut his mouth as fast as he’d opened it.
Swiss undid his jeans, kicking them off with his boxers and giving himself a few strokes. He positioned himself behind the ghoul, roughly grappling his hips. “Prep- Swiss, prep-“ Swiss laughed, thick and laced with venom. “You don’t need prep, you’ve had Mountain wrapped around your finger.” He leaned down, right next to Dew’s ear, whispering innocently into his ear-
“These walls are thin, Dew.”
He pushed into Dew, bottoming out in one fluid thrust. A scream attempted to escape from his throat, but all that came out was choked breath. Swiss set a brutal pace, not giving him the chance to catch his breath. “You talk all that shit just to end up like this, crying beneath me. So pathetic.” He mocked, already breathless. Dew knew the multi was close, but if he could say different about himself he would.
He was so embarrassingly close from Swiss ramming directly into that one spot that made him see stars. He moaned, high-pitched and feminine. His vision went white as he came hard, entire body spasming and giving out. The feeling of Dew tightening around him sent him flying over the edge, doubling over Dew’s sweaty back.
He pulled out, bringing Dew to his chest. “Shit- Was I too rough, maybe I should’ve prepped you- Fuck, I’m sorry.” Dew came to, looking up at Swiss before pushing him back and smothering him with a kiss. “No, I’m sorry. You’re right, I need to learn how to take a joke and stop being so aggressive. Can we just go back to the way it was, please?” He flopped down onto Swiss’ chest, visibly deflating.
“I’ve missed this..” Swiss chuckled, nodding and pulling the blanket up and onto them. “Anything for you, spitfire.”
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