CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON? 😔

/bravery

I always think I should write more. Writing feels good, sounds nice and in the end it is one of the best types of therapies there is. However, like everything in this world, it requires bravery. You need to be brave to write because you need to be brave to expose yourself. To show what you think, what you feel, what your brain can create, it all requires a lot of self confidence. The same with sharing any type of art you create. You need to be able to trust yourself and say ‘’hey, I am good at this and this is good enough for me. I am proud”. To me, that’s how everything starts. 

I’ve wanted to make some original magical girls for a while, so I decided to draw one girl each week during this month. Meet the first one, Carmilla.

“This glass chest, and you, the war-hammer against it. Break me into shards and reassemble this heart into a mosaic you’d want to look at. I am a stray dog cowering in the corner of your room as if it is a safe place; what is this safe place other than the constructed ruin of the abuse I have become so familiar with? I drape my granny’s blanket over my entire body and call myself ghost. There’s comfort in thinking yourself invisible even when you can feel your entire body burning. The flames still lick at my veins, even today, where I only dream the worst dreams of that cage you kept me in.”

— THERE IS NO SAFETY IN HIDING // Haley Hendrick

★ 【PUKARA】 「佐倉杏子ちゃん」 ☆ ⊳ kyoko (puella magi madoka magica) ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter

//end

On my studies this week my mentor said I should never write negative things, or things that might bring bad emotions or thoughts to people. Therefore, I deleted a bunch of my posts. Happens that I can be very negative when I am sad or tired. I guess it is human to have negative emotions from time to time, specially when the circumstances you are at, are no the best as possible. Thinking on that and putting that together with many other small conversations I had with people during this time, I decided to change, to go after things I should’ve gone way before and to try to be better at the same time as a person, but not only better to other people, but to myself. I need to be kinder to myself, more comprehensive with my emotions and limits. And I honestly think everybody else should too.

It is hard to be alone.

It is hard to do things by yourself it it is mostly hard to find a reason to keep going on when you're by yourself. I guess most of us pass our lives basing our happiness on other people. We put all our hopes and expectations of happiness and personal realization on other people.

"I am happy because I have you by my side"

"You are the reason why I am still going on and fighting for things"

"You are my inspiration"

It is never yourself. It is definitely never your own straight. How to change that?

Some relaxing short videos I took to help with sleep or calming ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ☆彡

Sometimes I just feel hopeless about all of the trauma I carry. I have ongoing issues with inflammatory injuries and I know that’s linked to long-term stress, as are a bunch of other diseases. And so many of my responses to things and how I see the world are colored by the way I experienced life as a kid and it just makes me feel like I’m never going to be normal. I crave but am terrified of intimacy of any kind, and this was only worsened by emotional trauma as a teen and young adult. I just feel constantly detached, like I’m not quite a part of things, and like what even is the point if I’m never going to experience life normally anyway? Like I know no one has a “normal” experience but come on. It seems like I’m never going to be able to enjoy things the way it seems everyone else does, like I’m just going to constantly feel like the walking wounded, never quite able to open up or keep up. Idek this isn’t even making any sense. I’m just feeling pretty mournful over everything today.

So I’m in love with the Tropical Rouge Cure designs, especially Cure Summer.

Mewkledreamy stickers are available in my shop 💗