i want to be friends with more dykes. i feel like every couple ive met in this city are sapphic, strawberry picking, mitski listening lesbians, and while i love they life theyve carved for themselves, that is just not me.
i want to be friends with dykes that are having disgustingly kinky sex with one another, dykes that always have their hands dirty, dykes that want to slam shots with me at 6pm on a thursday.
i want to be friends with zine making dykes, drag things, dykes that start fights with men creeping on their friends dykes that dance ontop of the bar and dykes that you can hear getting each other off while you wait in line for their bathroom stall.
i want to play pool and darts surrounded by dykes who have lives revolving around living in the moment, i want to be around dykes who have complex genders and dont care about the norms, i dont want to go to sapphic pottery night, i dont want to pick wildflowers, i want to get dirty and i want to be around people who get me.
I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive I want to be loved more than I want to be alive
No one:
Me once a year when I feel particularly nostalgic of my girlhood: ROOKIEMAAAAGgggGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭
stressed out, need a cig and a heavy make out sesh asap
i want to take care of a butch lover so much. i want to kiss their arms when they're sore or tired and hold their hands in mine circling heart shapes on their palms. i want to hug their neck and hold their head safe and close to my chest to tuck them away from the noise of their day. i want to gently caress their nape and neck, calling them "darling" and "adored", listening to their worries and whispering back the most softest words. having them sleep on my body, while i keep the warmth of the blanket in check to cover them fully. make them something sweet as they prefer, smooch their lips the moment they're asking what i'm making for them. filling them with "i love you"s at the most random moments and finding incredibly aching to be departing from their closeness even for a moment. because i adore them so deeply. because i constantly want to remind them that they're everything to me.
my hot water bottle is burning my skin so much and the pain i’m in has not disappeared..
listening to i’m your man by leonard cohen and i want to be punished by them.. i feel like such a pervert wanting to be hurt during intimacy..
im not sure what’s wrong with me. like i was telling them that i don’t care that they talk to other people.. i dont know why im feeling this all encompassing need to be needed by them or by anyone and i feel like this is gonna ruin me in the future. but like i dont think my need to be hurt is really bad at least i hope not.
i was watching edits of secretary and like in the ideal world i find someone like mr grey, someone who can appreciate the erotic elements of butchfemme as well as respect and wouldn’t make me feel bad about the way i approach sex. because i can see my desperate nature in lee but the way mr grey is so disgusted by himself is ME.
they’re deffo talking to someone else and i genuinely need to stop being jealous bc it’s is a disease
‘ulla in her room’ (1998) by chloe sherman
ramblings of an 18 year old lesbian.she/they femme
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