Distinguishedsaladphantom - Meow

I’ve seen a lot of crude jokes going around about the CEO assassination, and I just want to say one thing.

I think we should do worse.

Live reenactments on site. Several scheduled a day, like the shows at Disney parks. Someone brings brownies to pass around for the 10:30am showing. Everyone chants “DENY, DEFEND, DEPOSE” as the shots are being fired. People clap at the end. Someone pops one of those party poppers filled with monopoly money. The real Adjuster is in the crowd. People leave the place with a huge smile on their faces. “Sorry I was late, Boss. I was watching The Adjustment.”

starting the new year off right with my one and only boyfailure wife loml

☆ random obey me headcanons part 2!

asmodeus, levi and barbatos ♡

part one (lucifer, mammon and simeon)

part three (beelzebub, belphegor, solomon)

part four (satan and diavolo)

cw: some small nsfw on asmo's part :p

small note: thank you so much for the likes and reblogs! i never expected such a large majority of people to enjoy my content so it's very dear to me. once again, thank you!

☆ asmodeus:

- kinda bad at cooking. his way of slicing and dicing vegetables is very mediocre if not clumsy looking. there are days where his cooking is acceptable and days where it's to seasoned or too bland (always convinces himself its good tho and posts it on his devilgram)

- though he's kinda bad at cooking, his baking skills are okay! his favorite pastry to make are cookies because he can design them the most.

- "ofcourse mc! you'll always be the first one to try my desserts! unless you want to taste something else?~ ♡"

- he has a collection of sanrios, hironos and sonny angels in his room. ESPECIALLY sonny angels. crazy thing is he always gets them for free from his fans and its always the limited edition ones

- he really enjoys watching old movies from the human world especially the romcoms. mean girls, notting hill, pitch perfect. he will pester you to rewatch it with him even though you guys have seen it multiple times already.

- he keeps a small jewelry box in his room but instead of jewelry its full of pics of you and him and the gifts you give him. theres some pics in there where the other brothers were cut or crossed out so it'll be just you and him lmfao

- he is a yandere and i stand by this. it's not as obvious but if he's really into you he'll constantly mark you with his scent and the stuff he wears. he'll leave a hickey or a bite mark if you're lucky ;)

- the type of guy to only bring a purse to school. if you ask for a pencil the bitch is gonna open his bag and say "oopsie! i only brought my makeup pouch and mirror today. sorry babe!"

- has his own private concert in showers every goddamn day

- he'll either fangirl with you about celebrities or he'll get extremely jealous because you're simping for someone else.

☆ levi:

- sometimes his ass crack will be on display when he's sitting down on the floor

- wears booty shorts religiously. sometimes he'll casually just walk out his room wearing a hoodie and booty shorts with prints on it

- has a tumblr account where he posts a bunch of hc, drabbles and other shit and until now no one knows its him

- had an amino and discord phase where he always roleplayed with other people. till this day it haunts him at night

- he livestreams twice a week on twitch and has been scolded by lucifer on stream once. there was also a time where mammon barged in his room half naked and suddenly all the views went up 10x

- trolls on roblox like it's a 9 to 5 job

- every once in a while he'll stay in lucifers room while lucifer is doing paperwork. he'll just lay down on his bed, watch and play games and even fall asleep

- makes his own persona in every fandom he gets into and writes very detailed backstories (dw levi, same)

- only reads "x reader" fics for obvious reasons

- went insane because human world games and animes are better than the ones in devildom. dont get me started about aot. (his favorite is levi ackerman obvi)

☆ barbatos:

- wishes he could get piercings but since he's the demon prince's butler he obviously can't

- started tweakin when you said some humans keep rats and bugs as pets. like he stopped polishing some plates and looked at you like you just dog shitted diavolo's name

- really enjoys your spotify playlist filled with metalhead and grunge songs. he really likes slipknot

- likes to order those cute, fancy tea sets when he has the time. when you gifted him tea leaves and a limited edition teapot set his love for you sky rocketed.

- gets annoyed when solomon manspreads

- has a really good voice when he sings. he used to sing diavolo lullabies when his father would get angry at him

- scrolls through levi and mammon's post for educational purposes cuz he wants to learn slangs just incase diavolo asks him what a specific word means

- "barbatos, what does 'runnin from da opps' mean?"

- "my lord, 'runnin from da opps' is a slang made by the new generation. it means fleeing from your haters."

- loves to tailor and iron his bed sheets so he can have a peaceful rest after a long day of non stop errands.

Thinking about

Competitive Kyle "Garrick" Gaz

Enlisting at the same time and becoming friends since day one. Always coming first on every classification, one week you're first, next week it's him.

People think you two are friends because you are always at the top, until they stop to look and realise is the other way around. The only reason you two are always at the top is because you are friends.

Best friends.

Always competing with each other.

There are like 30 other soldiers in the same training squad, still Kyle and you only have eyes for each other.

Running side by side, sparring is always a tie, beating each other records every single time. Every new challenge is just an opportunity to beat each other.

But Kyle is a mean winner, and whenever he starts to collect a couple of wins he grows cocky. Good thing you know perfectly fine how to humble him.

Late at night in your room, 69ing together, still competing to see who can get each other off first with you on top. And Kyle still tries to win, he truly does; until you pull back the skin of his twitching cock, curling your tongue around his bulbous tip and along his slit that has him curling his toes and moaning your name.

You are also mean about it, keeping your hips high enough so he can't reach, and sucking his balls into your mouth so he doesn't have the strength to pull you down. Taking your time to swallow his thick cock, sliding down your throat as you moan making the vibrations travel up from his dick to his ears.

He looks like he's strapped to the bed, unable to lift a finger as you hollow your check to suck him harder, your hand massaging his thick member and heavy balls.

The only time he stops moaning is right before painting your throat white with the thick spurs of his seed, erupting again in breathy whine and loud moans right as he does. You let go of his dick with a sonorous POP, turning to lay next to him, licking your lips clean as you look at his exhausted face.

"Who's the best, Garrick?"

"You are, ma'am."

"Good boy."

Games I wish existed

This is a bit random and not what I usually do.

Also if a game like this DOES exist, then let me know in the comments.

Number 1: Everdell as a farming cozy game

A cozy videogame farming game where you get to be one of those cute animals from picture books living under a tree or a rock or something.

You know what I mean! Cute beds made from tiny boxes or storages of berries in baskets. Basically the Everdell Board Game only as a farming game like Stardew valley or a town rebuilding game. It'd be so CUTE!

Number 2: Cute spoopy games

I can't wait long enough for Haunted Chocolatier but I'd like more videogames with cute ghosts. Maybe we play as a cute ghost who goes around doing fun ghost stuff? Idk. I'm tired of scary games and want more spooky cozy games with cute animations! Like Love, Ghostie!

Number 3: Medieval Sims

Yes I know the sims 3 had a medieval one that came out. It was the first sims game I played and it was okay. But I'd like a new version of it where it's truly just a fantasy/medieval games of the sims instead of a weird rpg sims hybrid. It doesn't even have to be from the sims! It could be any game that lets you basically create a family in a fantasy/medieval world with dragons and cool stuff.

Number 4: Dating Romance Games without Routes

This may be unpopular of an idea but I really loved how Obey Me never had routes because you got to learn and get to know the characters before choosing your favorites/preferences. Usually in dating games you get a short introduction then are expected to just pick, which I never really loved since it also meant every choice I make is always going to surround the love interest and never just something I want the character to try.

I'd like more of it where you just follow a story line and goof around with characters, even if means I don't get the kisses or traditional happy ending with the love interest. I just want to have a ball!

made a gdocs OC sheet for Obey Me, since most of the templates I've seen are for artists and the doc templates are just simple txt files. as usual, it's meant to be for ppl like me who love to add a LOT of text <3

It's here if you'd like to use it! Remember to make your own copy -> File -> Make a copy!