Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

Read it on ao3

Sixteen.

I somehow slept through that entire night, only to be woken up by the smell of fresh coffee and a phone call from my sister. Right, it’s Sunday, no school for her but I assume Dad is making her go to church. Nobody in my family is religious besides my mother. Dad kept making us go after she passed, maybe trying to atone for his sins.

“Hello?” I say in a groggy voice.

“Good morning to you too,” Brynne says with a huff, “I thought farmers were supposed to get up early, it’s almost ten.”

“Even farmers need a day off,” I say, “what’s up?”

“Currently hiding in the bathroom at church,” she says, “but I got my midterm scores back.”

“All A’s I hope,” I say while sitting up in bed. Sebastian enters my room with nothing but his boxers on and holding two cups of coffee. He hands me one and I mouth a “thank you” to him. The first sip warms up my body and I feel like I can finally pay attention to my sister. 

“Currently trying to get my English teacher to raise my eighty-nine point nine to a ninety,” she says, “I’m doing all the extra credit he’s giving me, but it still isn’t enough.”

“You’re only halfway done with the semester,” I say, “you have time to get it up before then.”

“You were always the artsy one,” she sighs, “I don’t have a creative bone in my body.”

“You can do math,” I assure her, “if all else fails maybe you can be my accountant,” I laugh. I can practically hear her eyes roll over the phone.

“Psh, hell no… Oh shit, I gotta go. He’s probably wondering where I am and I’ve already used the period excuse this month,” she says.

“Say you were pooping. I used to use that excuse all the time,” I say.

“Ewww. I’m not telling our Dad that I was pooping in church!”

“He won’t ask questions if you do,” I say while taking another sip of my coffee. She sighs and we bid our goodbyes. I set my phone down on my nightstand and look over at Sebastian who has rejoined me in bed. He’s scrolling on his phone and my nosy ass decides to look over his shoulder.

“Plan B?” I ask, watching him scroll through options on Jojamon.

“If I order it now, it’ll get here just in time. But there’s so many different brands, which one is the best?” he wonders, scrunching up his nose. 

“Don’t worry about that,” I say while taking another sip of my coffee.

“You want a fucked up little kid running around here?” he turns his attention to me with a look of horror. I can’t help but laugh and grab his hand to place on my opposite arm.

“Feel this,” I say, guiding his fingers to where my birth control rests. His thumb brushes over it and he pulls his hand away immediately.

“Yoba’s child! What the hell is that?” I chuckle and turn my whole body to face him, sitting cross legged.

“My birth control, duh. You think I wanna worry about condoms all the time? I’m a busy gal, I got things to do,” I say, drinking up his shocked expression.

“What about STDs?” he asks.

“You got herpes?”

“No.”

“HIV?”

“No.”

“HPV?”

“No?”

“Hepatitis A, B, or C?”

“Definitely not.”

“Then, don’t worry about it,” I say, finishing off the rest of my coffee. “You want breakfast?

“What are you making?” he asks while taking my mug from me. We both get up and make our way to the kitchen.

“Fried egg and hash browns. I can make pancakes too but that’ll take me a minute,” I say while brushing my hand on his lower back as I make my way to the fridge. 

“No need for the pancakes, that’s almost a complete breakfast,” he said and his nose scrunched up again. I took my pointer and middle finger and pulled at his nose gently. 

“So picky,” I say teasingly, “you’re lucky I don’t have any milk.” I go into the fridge and pantry and take out what I need: oil, eggs, and two potatoes. 

“No cows yet, huh? Just chickens and ducks?” he asks while refilling both our coffees. 

“And soon to be rabbits!” I say while taking the mug from him, “the animals are great but they’re a handful.” I was mainly focused on trying to finish the community center that Lewis tasked me to do. I couldn’t tell him that I was giving magical apples supplies for their trip back to the spirit realm, he would think I was having a psychotic break. I needed to forage in the winter and get a damn rabbit then I would have more time to focus on the animals. They’re very particular. 

“I see,” he says while I grate the potatoes, “if they’re a handful then you should hire a farm hand.” I shrug and throw the potatoes into the oil that was heating up in a pan. 

“When my sister finishes school maybe I can make her help me. She’ll need to learn some discipline after all,” I reply, “even though Dad finally showed his true colors, he still spoiled her.”

“Like Sam? He’s the most spoiled kid I know,” Sebastian laughs as I flip the hash browns and wait for the other side to brown. 

“Similar. But Jodi wants her sons to have a childhood, to enjoy their youth. My Dad used my sister as an escape to deal with losing his wife too soon. He used me as a way to get back at Grandpa.” I take the hash browns out of the oil and crack two eggs into the same pan. We’re quiet, listening to the eggs sizzle in the grease from the potatoes. 

“What are you doing tonight?” He breaks the silence as I plate up breakfast and grab the pot of coffee. I top off his coffee and sit down.

“Probably farm chores,” I say, “what about you?”

“How important are those chores?” he asks while taking a sip of his coffee, never breaking eye contact with me. I do my best not to choke on the eggs I just shoveled into my mouth. 

“Not super important…”

“Do you wanna go on a ride later?” he asks, spreading the food around on his plate but never eating. He did mention going out but I didn’t think he would want to immediately. 

“I’m down,” I say after I swallow my food and take a sip of my coffee.

“Come over around six. Wear a jacket, it’s gonna be chilly,” he says and finally takes a bite of his food. We sit in a comfortable silence for the rest of breakfast. Just the two of us, sipping on our coffee in the nude, just us. It felt good to be this comfortable with someone. But the comfortability didn’t last long as someone started banging on my front door. 

“Farmer! You awake?” Abby’s voice echoes in my ears as Seb and share the same look of terror. I glance from him to the sink and he hands me his plate without making a sound. We somehow come up with a game plan with our eyes before the next knock comes.

“Farmer! Nobody’s seen you all day, where the hell are you?” Sam’s voice. I swiftly and quietly put both dishes in the sink while Sebastian grabs the clothes that were tossed near the door, he tosses me his hoodie while he tiptoes into my room. I pulled it over my head, making sure that it covered all my goods before answering the door. 

“Hello?” I ask, trying to sound groggy like I just woke up. The two of them push past me and enter the living room. Sam reaches down and scoops up Miso in his arms. 

“Farmer, I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry about how I acted last night,” she says. I raise my eyebrow at her.

“You didn’t do anything crazy,” I said, “you watched anime and took a nap.”

“But like you made my parents dinner just to get me out of my predicament. You didn’t have to do that!” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and hugs me. I pat her back.

“Well, I wanted to hang out with you. I would always do something like that for you,” I say. She sniffles but then quickly pulls away from me.

“Is that Seb’s hoodie?” A blush creeps over my face.

“Yea it got cold on the walk home last night…” Sam sets Miso down on the couch and walks over to us. He grabs the hood and takes a long sniff.

“That’s Seb’s alright,” he says. Abby and I exchange a look. 

“Did you just identify him by his smell?” I ask. Sam looks a little embarrassed but tries to shrug it off.

“She’s got one just like it, figured if it smelled like him it would be his,” he explains.

“They kissed once, I don’t think he’s over it,” Abby says nonchalantly.  Sam knits his eyebrows together and sighs.

“Why won’t you let us live this down?”

“When you stop doing weird shit like sniffing his hoodie.” I giggle as they go back and forth for a bit. “Did you wear this to bed?” Abby returns the attention back to the hoodie and I sigh.

“I sleep naked… you guys scared the shit outta me and this was the closest thing I could grab,” I lied, hoping it would get them out of my house faster. Sam and Abby exchange a look while I shake my head.

“You owe me five bucks,” Abby says to Sam.

“Hell no, this is no proof!” he exclaims and she rolls her eyes.

“Sebastian would never give a girl his hoodie unless he liked her or something,” she shakes her head and points to the evidence on my body. My eyes widen and Abby points to my face. “Don’t make that face, we all know you have such a fat crush on him!”

“Alright, everybody out!” I say as I usher them out my door.

“Hey wait– do you wanna hang out? We’re about to go get Sebby,” Sam says while putting all of his weight on me, thinking I’d collapse. Instead, I give him a hard shove and he stumbles out my door.

“I have chores and a book I want to start. Check back tomorrow,” I say before closing the door and locking it behind me. I exhale and hear them walk off my property, muttering something. Sebastian peeks his head out from my room, now fully clothed except for his hoodie. 

“They gone?” I nod and he sighs, “sorry for freaking out like that. I-I’m not ready to tell them about something that happened less than twenty four hours ago…” he trails off and rubs the back of his neck. I frown, watching his eyes dart away from me. I get closer to him, grabbing his cheek and resting my other hand on his chest.

“Lets just see where this goes, yea? Abby’s not wrong, I do really like you,” I say. He leans into my palm that’s resting on his cheek and sighs. 

“So come over at six?” he whispers while giving my hand a kiss. I take off his hoodie and hand it back to him.

“I’ll bring my own.” He gazes down at me, drinking up everything I had to offer.

“It’s a date.”

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SDV fic

TW: mention of drxgs, mention of sex

Seven.

After my farm chores were done for the day, I decided to try my hand at the mines again. I packed a couple of cave carrots and parsnips that I felt weren’t good enough to sell and also picked up a couple of grapes and spice berries as I made my way up the mountain. I had visited Marlon and Gil a couple of days ago to get a real sword so I wouldn’t have to use my pickaxe as a weapon. I had almost enough copper ore to smelt into the final bar I needed to upgrade my tools. There’s a couple of stumps on the farm that I can’t quite get rid of and they’re starting to bug me. I checked my watch, noon. I had to be back on the farm by nine for my hangout with Sebastian and Sam. For someone who’s late all the time, Sam expects everyone else to be punctual. I didn’t mind. Even after years of being separated he’s still a good friend to me. As I round the corner between Robin’s home and Linus’ tent, I see Abigail with a small dagger and a flute. I step on a stick and she whips her head around, almost like an owl.  Once she sees it’s me, she relaxes.

“Hey, Farmer!” she waves at me. I approach her, sword still slung over my shoulder. She looks up at me in awe.

“Hey, Abigail,” I say. She scoffs and stands up.

“Please, my parents call me Abigail. Abby is fine,” she says with a smile.

“Alright, Abby,” I correct myself, “whatcha up to?”

“Escaping my parents,” she says and kicks some pebbles into the lake, “what about you?”

“‘Bout to mine.” She gasps.

“You’re going in there? I’ve always wanted to,” she says, playing with her dagger in her hands. I wasn’t going super deep which is where I assume all the dangers are. Right now all I had to do was be on the lookout for bugs and slimes, I could get my errands done faster if I had someone watching my back…

“Do you wanna come with?” I ask while pointing to the entrance of the mines with my sword. “I’m not going deep-”

“Really? Yes! A hundred percent I would love to!” She squeals a little which was a little annoying. I haven’t had many girl friends in the past but it would be nice to get to know the other person Sebastian and Sam hang out with. I feel kinda bad for taking them away from her. We start walking towards the mines and I give her a quick run down.

“I’m gonna need you to watch my back while I mine. From what I know, the monsters we’ll probably see aren’t super dangerous but keep your guard up. Bugs won’t provoke you, just avoid them. If they touch you it feels like a punch to your cheekbone. There’s also little sentient slime balls and they will attack when they see you. If they touch you, your body feels like you’re on fire but when they’re as good as dead, the pain stops. You think you can be up for that?” I ask. Her little dagger wouldn’t be able to cut anything down immediately but if she has stamina, she shouldn’t have any issues.

“I can do that,” Abby says. As we take the elevator down to the fifth floor. I talked with Marlon and he said that every five floors I go, the more the elevator fixes itself, which was nice. I didn’t want to end up deep below the surface and then having to restart with the tiny ladder on the first floor. As soon as the elevator doors open, we’re greeted by the damp ominous presence of the mines. I get to work on the first rock I see.

“If you see any rocks with little orange specks sticking out, let me know,” I say to Abby. We made our way through the floor before finding a ladder which took us down. Before I can step a toe off the ladder, a little green slime ball is down there waiting for me. I take my sword and slice it in two and hop off the ladder. 

“Holy shit, what are those things?” Abby asks as more green slimes approach us. I sigh and take a big swing, slicing a good majority of them. “Ow, fuck!” Abby says, I turn over to her and watch her stab a slime over and over until it dies. I take out the rest of them and a large cluster of copper ore nodes are revealed to me. Thank Yoba, this should be more than enough. I dig in my bag for some burn cream and toss it over to Abby.

“This should help,” I say.

“Thanks. Were those the slimes you were talking about?” I nod and start mining away at the nodes. 

“Marlon says that they’re everywhere. Not necessarily dangerous, just annoying.”

“Yea, this little dagger barely did anything. I need to save up and buy one from the Adventurer’s Guild,” she says. I finished collecting the last piece of ore that I needed.

“You did good though!” I say as we make our way back up the mines, “when I first encountered a slime, I had no idea what I was doing.” Having Abby with me cut our time in the mines in half. We walk back to the farm, chatting as we do.

“Sooo… Anybody caught your eye yet here in the valley?” She asks with a toothy grin. I blush a little, thinking of Sebastian. “OMG! Whooo tell me!” I couldn’t tell her that I thought one of her best friends was attractive.

“Um… Alex and I have…uh been enjoying each other's company,” I say quietly. Abby grabs my arm and starts jumping up and down.

“Holy shit! Like what, girl, tell me everything,” she says. I smile a little. It’s been a while since I’ve had some girltalk. 

“Well, I mean, I might’ve… sucked him off a few days ago,” I say, a little embarrassed. 

“Damn girl, you don’t play around do you?” she laughs. We walked over the tunnel and over to the back of my house where I put the furnace. After finding my first couple of ores and talking with Clint, he gave me some blueprints for a furnace which I was able to make and now I had nineteen copper bars. I place the ore and coal in the furnace, turn it on, and let it do its thing. 

“Alex and I have some… trauma in common. That and in college I had a thing for gridball players soo,” I say. Abby laughs.

“I see. Shane also used to be a gridball player, maybe you should hop on that too,” she says with a wink. I blush deeper. I couldn’t fuck around in the valley like I did in the city. Everybody knows everybody and I was already being reckless with Alex so I need to tone it down. “Alex and I used to date,” she says. My face drops and I start apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, it was a one time thing, I’ll cut things off with him immediately-”

“Chill, chill. We dated for like one summer when we were like twelve. It doesn’t even count,” she says, “but I appreciate… whatever that just was. You seem like a girl's girl,” she says. We walk to the front of my house and sit on my porch.  

“I wasn’t always. In high school I used to sleep with everyone's boyfriend. I guess it’s why I didn’t have very many girl friends. I stopped that shit in college but I still found it hard to make friends,” I said. Abby wraps her arm around my shoulders. 

“Well, you’ve got me! I also don’t have very many girl friends. I tried to be friendly with Maru, Sebastian’s sister but I don’t know. I guess we just didn’t click like that,” she says, “so tell me more about you and Alex. Did you play with his giggle berries?” I laugh.

“Giggle berries? Is that what you call balls?” I ask. Abby shrugs.

“Male anatomy is weird, might as well give them weird names right?” We laugh together.

“What’s all this giggling about?” We both look up and find Sam and Sebastian standing over us. 

“When did this happen?” Sebastian asks and pulls out a cigarette. I look up at him with puppy dog eyes. He rolls his eyes and grabs another one from the pack. He sits down next to me and places it between my lips and lights it like usual. Sam sits next to Abigail.

“You guys have been hogging them! Why didn’t you tell me the farmer’s so cool?” She pouts. Sam shrugs his shoulders.

“You don’t like to smoke,” he says. Abby gasps.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with you guys!”

“You don’t like the smell,” Sebastian chimes in.

“Well you and the farmer are smoking cigarettes so maybe that smell will cover the weed smell,” she says and crosses her arms across her chest. 

“Do not give those delinquents an excuse to chain smoke!” Sam says while packing the bowl. Sebastian and I look at each other.

“I wouldn’t say we’re delinquents for smoking cigs,” I say, “hurry up and pack the bowl.”


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2 months ago
A Softer Moment For My Favorite Crusty Neighbor (and An Excuse To Draw Jellies!)

A softer moment for my favorite crusty neighbor (and an excuse to draw jellies!)


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1 month ago

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: consumption of alcohol, light daddy issues

read it on ao3

Eleven.

Fall six. Year One. 

The chill breeze of the fall evening nipped at my cheeks and nose. I didn’t sleep much last night, haunted by why my sister is calling me and what she possibly could want. How did it come to a point where I’m afraid of my own little sister? I dress myself in a gray pleated jean skirt, old ripped fishnets that I can’t bring myself to throw away, and a simple white baby tee. I tie the outfit together with my black doc martens that I haven’t worn since college. They’re better than wearing the work boots I bought from Marlon. I make my way towards the bus stop, shuffling as I do. I didn’t realize how tired I was from lack of sleep and working on the farm most of the day. Many people are gathered at the bus stop: Sam, Abby, Penny, Emily, Maru, Elliott and Leah, Shane, and Jodi and Vincent. 

“Are you sure Vincent can come?” Jodi asks Sam with a nervous look on her face, “a metal show isn’t a place for a boy as young as him.”

“The venue is all ages, Mom,” Sam says, “Vincent sits in on band practice sometimes.”

“But you don’t use very nice words,” Jodi says and Sam rolls his eyes and squats down to Vincent’s level. 

“Vince, you know not to repeat the bad words we say, right?” Vincent nods his head.

“Mommy would be sad if I said bad words,” Vincent says.

“Very good and what else?”

“I can say bad words when I’m your age, Sammy,” he continues.

“I know you know a lot of the words to our songs but can you sing the bad words?” Sam asks.

“Not around Mommy,” Vincent says with a head shake. Sam looks up at Jodi with a weak smile, hoping to not get his ass beat. Jodi rolls her eyes.

“Fine. But if a single bad word comes out of your mouth young man, all three of us are going home,” Jodi says sternly. Both of her sons agree and that’s when Sam notices me.

“Hey Farmer! I think this is everyone, let's load up the bus.” Everyone trickles on. Pam, who’s the most sober I’ve ever seen, stops me before I get on. 

“You don’t look so good, kid,” she says. I shrug. 

“Didn’t sleep very well.” 

“Here,” she digs in her pocket and hands me a small energy drink, “drink this. It’ll keep you pumped up for the show.” She smiles at me and we all get on the bus. I sit down next to Sam, across from Jodi and Vincent. I chug the energy drink Pam gave me before realizing I didn’t see Sebastian anywhere.

“Where’s Seb?” I ask Sam. 

“Oh, he decided to take his motorcycle. Don’t ask why, I never know what’s going through his head,” Sam says with a laugh. I thought back to a conversation we had a couple weeks ago and he mentioned he liked to take his bike out at night and ride as far away as he can. It’s probably a good time for him to decompress, forget the constant demands of life for a second. 

“He must already be at the venue,” Maru says from behind us, “he left like an hour before we did.”

“Makes sense,” Sam says, “he likes to be punctual. And he said he would take care of talking with the owner and getting everything set up. Apparently this place is like half bar, half concert venue.”

“We’re going to the Julius, right?” I ask and Sam nods his head yes in response. “I love the Julius! The patio section is screened off but you can still hear the music in the bar. Sometimes I’d go in for a drink and listen to the music inside and if I was jammin’ out, I would buy a ticket and watch them. It was my favorite bar to go to in college,” I say. Plus it’s a Saturday night, people are going to end up filling out the patio. Sam has played me a couple samples of what they’ve been working on and many patrons of the Julius are alternative music fans. 

“Sick! Oh, here,” Sam says while handing me a piece of paper. “It’s the setlist. Those samples I played for you a few days ago, we also played for the manager of the bar. He thinks that his patrons will enjoy it so he gave us an extra time slot.”

“Holy shit,” I say while looking at the setlist, “there has to be like an hour's worth of songs here.” Sam beams at me with pride. The Julius is also a place where producers like to scout out new alternative music. If the band is lucky, someone might want to be in touch with them. We finally arrive at the venue where Sebastian is waiting for us. Abby, Sam, and Sebastian unload the bus while the rest of us trickle inside. I ask Jodi if she wants a drink but she’s ushered out to the patio with Vincent by a bouncer. No kids in the bar except to use the bathroom he had said to her. So I take a gamble on what she might like. She always has a glass of white wine with dinner and I figured a sauvignon blanc would do her some good. I order myself a shot of Jameson and an orange juice for Vincent. Down the bar I see Penny pleading with Pam.

“Please don’t drink too much,” I hear Penny say, “you have to drive us back home.”

“I’ll be fine,” Pam says with annoyance, “push comes to shove, you can drive it.” Penny sighs and marches out to the patio while Pam stays put at the bar. I called over to the nearest bartender and I’m pleasantly surprised when I realized it was Jean. Man, he’s been working here for like six years now?

“Well well well,” he says, “I hear you’re a farmer now. Is that why I don’t see my favorite regular anymore?”

“Sorry I didn’t mention. I kinda had to get the fuck outta here,” I say. He waves his hand.

“Yea, I get ya. What’s up though?”

“Do you see that lady at the end of the bar,” I ask.

“Yea, what about her?”

“She’s kinda my ride… actually a lot of people’s rides tonight. The band playing are some people from the valley so we’re out here to support them. Could you serve her n/a beer tonight and not tell her?” I ask. Jean laughs and pats me on the shoulder.

“Can I charge her for a real drink?”

“Do whatever. I need her blood alcohol level under the legal limit,” I chuckle. 

“Alright. Come back more often, would ya?” he says and we say goodbye to each other. I took the drinks over to Jodi while Vincent checked out the front of the stage, watching his brother and his bandmates set up.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Jodi says as I hand her the wine. I take my shot as she takes her first sip of wine. “I’m a little anxious,” she says.

“What for?” I ask before my tongue goes a little numb from the alcohol. 

“He’s… just not my little boy anymore.” She watches him carefully on stage while he helps Abby put her drum kit together and tune his guitar.

“But wouldn’t you say he’s grown into such a great young man?” I asked her as I also watched Sam on stage, testing the microphones and making sure you could hear Sebastian’s bass. Jodi chuckles a little bit and takes another sip of her wine.

“You sound just like your grandfather.” Jodi and I chat while we watch the band finish setting up. I was itching to hear what they had, especially the one song Sam and Sebastian kept teasing me with. 

“It’s going to blow your mind. Strike you to the core. It took me weeks to get through playing it without tearing up.”

The only metal song I’ve cried to is Fade To Black by Metallica so what could Sam have written that he thinks will give me a core striking experience? I go inside to get one more shot before the band comes on stage. I’m expecting an introduction from Sam but they go right into the music. Sebastian, with his bass strapped on his back, presses a button on one of his keyboards which resembles a faint ringing sound before Abby clashes her symbols and Sam comes in with a heavy guitar riff. Sebastian then slides the bass to his font and comes in with a deep bassline. I search in my pocket for the setlist Sam gave me earlier and find the name of the first song. Artificial Suicide. Sam shocks me with such heavy vocals I nearly drop my shot. I sling the Jameson down my throat as Sam switches up with clean and angelic vocals. I nearly choke. I’m so impressed by the raw talent they all ooze I barely notice anybody moving. Emily is swaying her hips as she stands at the front of the stage but nobody else is moving. I move away from Jodi and Vincent and make my way closer to the stage as the song ends. More people fill in from the bar after that outburst of a song. I find Leah and Elliott with their eyes wide, shell shocked after hearing the first song. Before I can ask them what they thought, the band goes straight into another heavy song. Hypermania is the name I remember reading under the opening song. The three of us watch Sam bounce around the stage before I finally decide that the crowd is too still. I grab Leah and Elliott’s hands and force them to dance with me. I had just enough liquor in my body to loosen me up. Leah, Elliott and I had some conversations at the saloon but not many so I didn’t know them all too well but Jameson absorbing into my liver didn’t care. 

I made Elliott take down his hair and head bang with me as he had the perfect hair for head banging. Thick and wavy and long. I looked around the crowd once more and pouted. It definitely wasn’t thick enough to crowd surf and Yoba I was itching to. My attention is turned back to the stage as Abby and Sam pause for a second and the sound of Sebastian’s bass fills the patio. I watch his long fingers glide across the neck of the bass while his other hand licks the strings near the pickguard. As I stay stunned from Sebastian’s mesmerizing fingers, Elliott and Leah start to dance with each other and I leave them be. I go deeper into the crowd and find Shane in the middle. He’s nodding his head to Abby’s beat. The song ends and Shane looks down at me.

“These guys are pretty good,” he says. I nod my head. 

“You a metalhead?” I ask.

“I indulge.” I give him a shit eating grin and for a second I swear I see a glint of fear in his eyes.

“Should we open up the pit?” Before he can answer, Sam speaks.

“We’re Goblin Destroyer! This next song is about screaming into the fucking void!” and immediately they start the next song. I don’t even hesitate to give Shane a hard shove and he almost loses his balance. He bumps into the person standing next to him who shoves him back to me. As soon as it started people started to fill into the pit, shoving each other and creating a circle. I play in the pit until the song ends. Sebastian throws his bass over his shoulder and takes place behind the keyboards. He starts playing the same three notes over and over and then presses a button which makes it loop. All I want to do is watch him, see what he does differently for each song, especially this one as it seemed a little different than what we had just heard. Unfortunately, the crowd filled in a little tighter and I got stuck behind a really tall man. As I do my best to see around the man, Shane taps me on the shoulder and gives me the universal ‘do you wanna get on my shoulders?’ concert hand gesture. I gladly accept and Shane squats down. I straddle his neck and hold onto the tall man in front of me for support while he stands up and lifts me over everyone’s heads. Now, if I was drunk, this would be the time that I would flash the band my tits but I did not have enough liquor in my system nor would I do my friends like that. Sam comes in with the lyrics but he isn’t screaming. His vocals are clean but the extra microphone he had grabbed from Sebastian earlier must’ve had something to distort and reverb his voice. I needed to ask them how they did that because it sounded so good. 

After that song, Shane puts me down, the crowd starts to get bigger and they start hollering for more. Sam takes a swig of his miller lite and the band recuperates for a second. I feel a tug on my skirt and I look down and find Vincent.

“Hey bud,” I say, “where’s your mom?” Vincent points to the entrance of the bar.

“She went to get another drink. I can’t see Sam,” he says with a pout. He probably saw me on Shane’s shoulders earlier. However, I’m not as tall as Shane so I grab Vincent’s hand and lead him closer to the stage. I shot Jodi a quick text telling her that her son is with me and hoped that she would be able to see him on my shoulders from the back. We found a spot decently close to the stage and I got him on my shoulders. Surprisingly, he wasn’t that heavy. He’s a pretty skinny kid and will probably grow up to have a similar physique to Sam. He couldn’t have been more than fifty pounds, all that work on the farm must be paying off. Sam gives the autotuned mic back to Sebastian and walks back to his own mic stand.

“This is an old one.” And they go back into the heavy stuff. As Sam is performing, he sees Vincent on my shoulders, points to him and makes his hand into devil horns. Vincent removes one of his hands from resting on my head and I can only assume he imitated Sam’s devil horns. I kept Vincent on my shoulders for another song before returning him back to Jodi. Her face was a blush pink most likely from her wine. 

“Thank you, Farmer,” she says, “did you have fun Vinny?” she asks her son. He goes on about how cool it was to see Sam up close and I excuse myself back to the crowd. A couple songs go by and all I’m fixated on is watching Sebastian go from bass to keyboard to bass again and sometimes doing both at the same time. Each song better than the last. I hoped and prayed there was a scout in the audience listening to their talent. If they lived in the city they definitely would’ve been already signed to a record label, album out, and touring by now. At least in my music connoisseur opinion. 

I ended up in the middle again with Shane who was sweating profusely after being in the pit for most of the show. I think I caught him off guard when we started the pit but once it was open he was in there like a fly on shit. 

“Alright guys,” Sam says breathlessly into the mic, “we’re gonna switch it up a bit. This is our newest song as well as our last of the night. And to be straight forward this song is not metal. Goblin Destroyer as a band likes to experiment and write what’s on our minds. This is called ‘Like Him’.” Sebastian fully takes his bass off and starts playing the keyboard. The notes are clean and he plays the same three over and over until he ends with a little chord and Sam comes in with vocals as light as a feather. Sebastian plays a mix of jazz and classical chords as Sam gets through the first verse. Like him. Like him. Like him. Sebastian slides his hands down the piano keys, creating a glissando, and starts putting more passion into the keys. Mama, I’m chasing a ghost. I don’t know who he is. Abby adds a light harmony as Sam sings and the further into the song we go, Sebastian starts hammering the piano keys and Abby comes in with her drums. As the chorus fades out, Sam slips into a guitar solo but it doesn't sound like your regular guitar. It was almost like he was playing the theremin but on the guitar. It was slow but smooth and attention grabbing. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off of them even for a moment. As Sam gets into the second verse, I start to really feel the lyrics. How can I miss something that I never had? I thought about my Dad. I can’t remember what he was like to me before Mom died. I can’t recall a look of pride or love for me. A scowl is plastered permanently on his face in my memories. Everytime he looked at me all I was met with eyes filled with disgust and distraught. I always prided myself on being able to read people well but I could never get a decent read on my father. I never knew what he was thinking or what was about to come out of his mouth. Yet, I missed him. I yearned for the father that he might’ve been when Mom was around. He couldn’t have always been so bitter towards me, right? At one point when I was in high school, he told me he couldn’t stand the sight of me. Is it because I look like him? Like Grandpa? Everytime he looked at me, was he reminded of his own father? What did Grandpa do to make my father hate the sight of his first born daughter? I couldn’t judge him as I also ended up being better off without a dad. I wonder if he thought about how history repeated itself or maybe he didn’t think about me at all. But everytime. Everytime I asked him what Grandpa did to make him so bitter, all my questions were swept under the rug. Mama I’m chasing a ghost. I don’t know who he is. 

As the second chorus ends, a swift movement catches my eye. Sebastian had turned to his other keyboard- the one that plays more electronic notes. He tilts his head to the side, like he’s cracking a bone in his neck then immediately lays down a beautiful set of notes just as Abby and Sam harmonize. The crowd around me starts to thin until we’re left with the people from the valley and a couple of stragglers. I look up at my three friends in awe as they finish the song in an explosion. 

“We’re Goblin Slayer! Thank you!” Sam yells then he, Sebastian, and Abby group hug. I smile and watch them and the rest of the villagers trickle into the bar. 

“Farmer?” I snap my attention to my left where Shane’s standing next to me. “You okay?” I knit my eyebrows together as he takes the knuckle of his finger and gently wipes under my eye. Oh shit. Have I been crying?

“Huh? Oh yea, I’m alright,” I say as I gently pat the tears away, careful not to ruin my makeup, “I guess that last song hit a little close to home.” I force a smile and suggest we go in for another drink. As we do, we walk past Jodi and Vincent. Vincent looked a little embarrassed as his mom stumbled a little bit. She was definitely wine drunk. Shane and I give each other a look and head over there. Shane and I were developing an unlikely friendship ever since that night in the saloon. He’s been giving me tips on my newly acquired chickens and ducks and lately he’s been telling me to raise rabbits as well. 

“Jodi, you alright, hun?” I ask her as I take Vincent’s hand.

“Farmer! Did you see my boy? Did you see Sam? He’s a rockstar!” she says while swaying. Vincent yawns and his eyes look droopy. Shane links his arm with Jodi’s and we make our way towards the bus. Hopefully they’ll both sleep a little before we fully pack up and go. We set them down in their own seats and Vincent passes out quickly. Pam was already in the driver's seat, doing crosswords.

“Pam, do you mind watching those two?” I ask before I step off the bus.

“Of course! I’m the most sober I’ve ever been. I had seven beers and I don’t feel a thing,” she says. I give her a fake smile.

“Well, if it ends up hittin’ ya. I can always drive back,” I say and Shane and I exit the bus. 

“Saw them givin’ her the n/a beer,” Shane whisper to me.

“I told them too,” I whisper back and we share a laugh as we walk back into the bar.


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2 months ago
Reading Is Political And It Always Has Been. Here Are Some Of The Classic Books On The Banned List That
Reading Is Political And It Always Has Been. Here Are Some Of The Classic Books On The Banned List That
Reading Is Political And It Always Has Been. Here Are Some Of The Classic Books On The Banned List That
Reading Is Political And It Always Has Been. Here Are Some Of The Classic Books On The Banned List That

Reading is political and it always has been. Here are some of the classic books on the banned list that you should definitely check out.

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