Me: “Yeah I Read All The Time! I’m Always reading A Book-”

YES, PERFECTION!

Because damn I have this headcanon about Bruce's being panromantic ace that I'm going to have to write up someday.

And ofc he would speak up to protect one of his kids from the things he's not willing to protect himself from, that's just his default setting. Tim being caught between laughing at the concern and probably a little touched at the concern is also so cute.

And then you bless me with Jason being a little shit out of left field. 100%, no one knew he was in the house. He breaks in at random, calls it haunting.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I think we're friends now

Hot Take: Bruce doesn't support freakyTimBer not because he doesn't like Bernard. It's because Bruce has to pretend to be the freak in all of his civilian relationships to explain away his scars, so he keeps accidentally making his partners think he's into that and then he's too awkward to correct them, and he's worried that Tim's doing the same thing.

This is genius, I love it!!! My original thought process was Bruce just couldn't fathom his babies ever having sex like?? No?? His kids!? Never U_U

But I absolutely adore this so much. You have no idea.

Pre identity reveal shenanigans (aka, before Bernard tells Tim he knows and also Tim is a goof)

—

Bruce, looking at the bruises and obvious bite makes and cuts along Tim's visible neck and arms: . . . So, where'd the, um, new... bruises come from..?

Tim, not even looking up from his laptop: Bernard. Bruce, I told you this already. Don't question any injury I don't put in my reports.

Bruce:

Bruce: You know, if you ever feel... Pressured into things—

Tim, slowly looking up:

Bruce: I understand keeping our identities secret is important more than any one, you know this, but you shouldn't make sacrifices to this degree to keep it in tact—

Tim, moving a hand over his mouth to stop from either laughing or crying, he isn't sure:

Bruce: It's important to... Enjoy yourself with your relationship safely, and consensually. If you feel like you have to do or comply with certain things for Bernard to keep your identity safe... Why are you laughing?

Tim, trying not to laugh: Bruce, I promise, anything Bernard does to me I give full permission to. Enthusiastically, in fact.

Bruce: . . . What?

Jason, from another room, who read 50 Shades Of Gray once when he was fourteen: YOUR SON IS A FREAK WHO BEGS ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES FOR HIS BOYFRIEND TO CHOKE HIM OUT, YOU IDIOT!

Tim: HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT!?

Jason, popping his head in: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU ACTUALLY DO THAT!? I DIDN'T KNOW S#&$ BUT NOW I DO WHAT THE F$&%, TIMOTHY!?

Tim: STAY OUT OF MY SEX LIFE!

Jason: I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A SEX LIFE!

Tim: I HOPE THE JOKER BLOWS YOU UP AGAIN!

Jason: I HOPE I'M CREMATED THIS TIME!

Bruce:

Bruce: what

—

"win a MMORPG" is from when my brother was showing me the Sword Art Online Abridged series. Apparently, everyone is trapped in the video game until someone 'wins' and the crowd of players were like "??? My evil dude, do you even know what this game IS??? There is no winning."

I loved your tags, btw. And yes, I imagine Dick would make a point to check in with Tim about him and his friends, and maybe put out some feelers to the adults in the other kids' lives to check in.

I think Tim and Dick would both want to keep a familial relationship with each other and they'd both be the type to put in the effort. It wouldn't be the same relationship, but that's the thing! That's normal! Sibling relationships change as people grow up and no longer live so closely together. Like everything else in life, it takes work.

I wonder how much of the Young Justice run files would Dick have had access to at the time they were occurring? Does he know about Gun Batman, Santa's death, and that time Empress killed Jason Todd, or did Tim just file that paperwork and never bring it up? Maybe Young Justice in general is a sore point between Tim and Dick because it was YJ's inexperience that got Donna killed.

I fully believe in the Suicide Pact tho. If one of them can't be talked down, or brought back to sanity, or contained from becoming their worst nightmares, the other three will take them out and it will destroy them all to do it. "If your last act is for us to have your blood on our hands, then your hands will be just as bloody. We go together, bitches. Mutual assured destruction."

I don't remember whether canon revealed Tim's specific Hit List contingencies or not, I lost that comic book awhile ago.

So I'd like to make shit up and invite people to add to the list. I've said before that I like to imagine that Damian just found the Hit List file and saw himself and immediately went to Nightwing, and I think it'd be funny if the Hit List was actually either A) Tim's customized playlists for everyone or B) the stupidest plans that might work as a mockery of Batman's contingency list.

In this episode I want to focus on option B, what would be on the Stupid Plans List if someone goes evil.

Damian - erase his Cheese Viking saves. Tell him his sketches of Batman are technically furry art. Buy him Robux???

Dick - lead him to Gotham zoo, get him to the elephants. Strategically leave powdered sedatives on ground, hope he licks? Dress as Jaybin, talk him down as hallucination.

Jason - just cut my own throat this time fuck.

Bruce - call Clark. Call Diana.

Cass - aw shit here we go again

Steph - Join. As a treat.

Cassie, Kon, Bart - all else fails, Core Four Suicide Pact 👍

Ra's - tell him I'll be his heir if he wins an MMORPG of my choice. Maybe he'll forget to Lazarus bathe?

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi will be taking that admission as permission and presses a kiss to the back of gvTobi's neck, "Let me help you out with that, hm? Help you take the edge off..." he begins stroking lazily, mouth hot against his elder's neck. "Mm, mine does that too, but...they always wear those gloves. They're sooo sensitive there...gods..."

The youngest of them watches with rapt attention and reaches out without really thinking to brush his fingers lightly over the seals on gvTobi's shoulder, asking almost shyly, "Can I help?"

SugarMadara raises an eyebrow at his shorter alternate, "Really, yours is so obstinate? Try giving mine a command..." He smirks again in his lover's direction, knowing the man can hear him, "He knows he will be well rewarded if he's good~ I'll call a halt if you get too outrageous."

The youngest Madara hums quietly and reaches out to take his older self's naked hand. "Perhaps they shouldn't be the only ones giving a show?" He kisses the palm, eyes challenging. The elder of the two chuckles.

"We do seem to be a little overdressed for this, don't we?"

I love the StephCass ship, I just also want to give Cass more choices and chances to slut it up.

Cass's character is a wonderful mess of body autonomy issues, brainwashing, trauma, and stereotypes about disabilities. The fandom paints her as being a pure and innocent creature of mental fortitude and emotional perfection and that's fun to meme on, but in reality?

In reality, get her some hoes. Let her explore herself, let her date around, let her reclaim herself sexually, let her get really toxic with that one ex who shoots up a car when she dumps them.

Have you ever met someone who grew up in an extremely regimented household? You know the type, the ones where the parents need to know where kids are at all the time and who they're with and what they're doing? Home by 8 every evening, no cussing allowed, healthy snacks only, no controversial conversational topics allowed, no films or shows or books or music that hasn't been approved by the parents?

Remember what happens to those kids the moment they start living on their own?

Give Cass that crashout. Please. It makes sense for her character to go unhinged in her civilian life. And not in the comic book sense of Tim's bad year, but in a general "I had a one night stand and found out I also slept with both his sisters earlier this week" kind of disaster.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

The Tobirama covered in seals isn't the only one to react to that voice. The youngest goes still and stares at gvMadara, eyes wide and unaccustomed to his body reacting to...it's just a voice. He's only talking, but for some reason, Tobirama wants to listen.

SugarTobi shivers and presses closer to the eldest, the hand around his waist moving into a lazy groping as he nuzzles the man's neck. He keeps his voice low, and his lips hidden as he murmurs, "Shit, yours does that too, huh? If you want to put on a show for them...I can do that, but you need to tell me now..." He glances up and is riveted at the sight of the elder SugarMadara slowly peeling his gloves off. He swallows thickly, eyes following the movements as best they can, "Because otherwise I'm going to take mine out of sight for a few hours..."

The youngest Madara might be looking from the responding Tobis to his oldest self and back with something like respect, "Ah...I see..."

SugarMadara smirks at the both of them and finishes casually pulling his leather gloves off.

"They all do respond so well to instruction, don't they? I have found that mine tends to enjoy a more hands-on approach to lessons..." His eyes catch his lover's gaze and holds it as he brings his naked hand teasingly to his mouth. SugarTobi might whimper into his alternate's shoulder.

"Bastard, he knows I like to suck on his fingers."

I remember seeing a post a while ago which message was basically that you should force yourself to like female characters even when they're written to be mid or even just poorly because it's part of unlearning sexism or something, like you need to "learn to like them", and man, I really don't like this stance at all, because what it basically says is that you should lower your standards when it comes to female characters. But there are absolutely amazingly written female characters that you don't need to "force" yourself to like because you just do naturally, because they're just written right, and it doesn't require "work" and "convincing yourself to care" or anything like that. It is absolutely possible to write them, and I'm justified in wanting more of them instead of "forcing myself to like" poorly written characters whose authors couldn't even force themselves to care about them on the first place. It feels backwards to me that many people expect otherwise and call it misogyny when viewer isn't willing to do the writer's work in places where writer didn't do theirs. I do appreciate it and think it's really cool when people take poorly written characters and remake/expand on them within a narrative to be actually interesting and multidimensional, it is really cool that people do that, but also you can't expect that every person who interacts with original media will do the same kind of mental gymnastics and additional work and accuse them of terrible misogyny when they're interpreting the characters the way they were presented to them in original material as is.

Strawberry milk is so good frfr is better than actual strawberries because it doesn't make your mouth spicy afterwards

Strowburry melk

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]

If you can read them online you can buy them online.

I get that it can be troublesome without a local store, so I encourage everyone to buy their comics from other brick-and-mortar stores and have them conveniently delivered to your door through the mail. Or go ahead and buy the PDF!

Pirating comics contributes to a future with even fewer comic book shops and an even greater dependence on bloated businesses like Amazon. It makes it more difficult for people to become comic book artists and writers in general.

It's a short-term savings for the individual vs the long-term protection of the genre.

Why are comic fans so against piracy and reading online like dude there are literally no places to buy comics where I live I have no other option

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

"Yesss" SugarTobi moans the word quietly, nearly whimpering as the eldest Tobi's nails come into play, "I can take it...can take everything you give me, please..."

-

A hand grips his neck just enough to choke him at the same time his younger self scratches his nails over his ass and Madara freezes, body trembling as he climaxes. He can feel the other Madara swallowing around him and he pulls that hungry mouth closer, making sure the man gets his fill. "Oh fuck, yes, just like that...gods, you feel so good, so very good~ Just you wait, old man; you're going to fucking love me at any age..."

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi really likes using his nails. Also likes feeling SugarTobi's scars from the inside of his mouth. Also the begging is nice.]

[gvMadara lols a bit. He doesn't love his alternates, he's just going to enjoy them. He doesn't completely like that his Tobi is enjoying the other Tobi so much. Pulls SugarMadara's hair and demands distraction when he sees his Tobi going deeper.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

SugarTobi is so, so still, keeping his mouth open and wanting, shivering with lust as his alternate traces over his scars. He wants to beg for more from this man, to plead for anything he is willing to give, but that would mean interrupting the way his mouth is being finger-fucked and there's no way he wants that to happen. He closes his eyes to better feel the sensation and to send out just a tendril of chakra. Wanting.

-

"I can work with that." He reaches up and grabs his alternate's wrist, using the pressure points to free himself. SugarMadara twists with surprising gracefulness considering that his legs are shaking and falls to his knees, pulling the man's clothes out of his way. "Get your hands in my hair and get ready for a fucking ride. Gods, look at you, so nice and heavy. You better make me choke on this monster-!"

He is abruptly cut off when his younger self grabs his head and unceremoniously pushes him all the way down. YoungestMadara leans his weight against the other man, staring into the Eldest Madara's eyes and looking slightly unhinged himself. "When people say I talk too much, I'm going to start listening to them. Give me that lube; this guy is prepped and I am going to get my dick in him one way or another."

The youngest straightens up and yanks back, pulling the choking Madara up by his hair, "That sound good to you?"

SugarMadara groans and spreads his legs. He had rather hoped this is what would be happening after his younger self had discovered that he had taken inspiration from his own Tobirama to welcome his lover back from his long-term mission. Hiding the fact that he was being fingered from his alternate older self had been beyond difficult, but he is very proud to see the surprised look on the man's face.

"Fuck yes, let's do this."

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi is curious is SugarTobi can come from this alone and then he hears that and accidentally goes too deep when he looks over and demands that he be let in on that.]

[gvMadara freezes up. May be contemplating the murder of his alternates.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

It turns out SugarTobi can indeed come just from that, especially combined with the sound of the older Tobirama's appreciation for the Madaras' positions. He doesn't choke though, keeps himself breathing steadily in silent, open-mouthed obedience even as his eyes close in ecstasy.

-

"Holy fuck." The youngest one breathes the words like a prayer as he applies a layer of slick to his erection. SugarMadara looks over at the Tobis, moaning quietly as he sees his boy being so well-behaved. "Good gods, me, say yes!"

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes his man is close to murdering his alternates in a fit of jealousy. Uses his sexy commander voice to interrupt the killkillkill mantra. Takes the seals off his eyes so he is blind and cannot see the other Madaras.]

[gvMadara is going to not kill his younger alternates as long as they don't touch his Tobi. Also, he is already halfway prepped himself because nothing says "I missed you" better than anal(?)]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

The other two Madaras reign in their shock at seeing Tobi's seals vanish, though they are not...they had not realized that this Tobi had been blinded and had used his abilities to seal away the wounds. (They do not know that this is a different sort of seal than the ones on his body) SugarMadara in particular has to swallow back a snarl, wants to demand how his alternate dares to make blindness a condition to Tobirama getting something he wants.

"Fuck, you couldn't have him wear a blindfold, you need him to lose his sight?!"

He does not do well at holding back his anger, even in such a compromising conditions, even if he wants to stay silent and let desire win out over his protective nature.

-

There's a distressed murmur from the cuddling Tobis left to the side, their chakra senses picking up the disturbances. Neither of them are very capable of blocking out their senses, they won't be until they leave subspace.