Donkoogrr - Hi, I Write Stuff While Technology Eludes Me

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi moans quietly, rolling his hips against gvTobi with a short gasp against his neck. "F-Fuck...Yeah, yes, he'd like...Not too deep, we haven't, ah, trained ourselves yet..." SugarTobi's other hand braces itself on the eldest Tobi's hip and squeezes appreciatively. "Yeah, let him suck...He learns so fast~"

The youngest is shaking, lips parted and breath hot on gvTobi's thumb. His hand slides down the other him's arm to loosely hold his wrist. He wants to move forward himself, curl his tongue around the digit and take it into his mouth, but...Fuck, he also wants the other version if himself to take charge and...and fuck his mouth with whatever he damn well pleases. ("Not too deep". How embarrassing. What, is he the only one here with a gag reflex?)

SugarTobi's eyes flicker up to find gvMadara's, dazed and already near to falling into subspace. "Right..." he returns his attention to the man in his arms. "Command me, then. Tell me what you want me to do to your lovely body..." Dizzily, he becomes certain that he has spent too much time around Madara to have picked up some of his favorite descriptors of Tobi's body.

He huffs a laugh against his elders shoulder as he changes hands and begins to massage the man's nipples. That's new, too. Neither Sugar personally care about those, so...it's interesting. Caressing the parts of this body that is so similar to his own that if he looks down he can almost pretend he is touching himself. "Of course...don't go far past the uvula. He likes when you pet his tongue and let him suck..." A full body shiver goes through the youngest and he whines needly. "The...The palatine tonsils should be the limit..."

SugarTobi watches, enraptured, as his younger self begins to drift into subspace from gvTobi's fingers and voice alone. "Fuck...he's falling already? Wow..." He lightly bites his elder's shoulder to make sure he's paying attention. He's a bit jealous of the youngest, but won't let himself fall until he is sure that gvTobi can handle both or either of them. "He's going to be...extremely suggestible like this. Obeying orders is going to leave him euphoric...could probably get him off with praise alone." Not that SugarTobi knows anything about that. Madara's voice telling him what a good boy his is has certainly never brought him to one of the most intense orgasms of his life, no.

"It's....complete trust. If you get overwhelmed or don't want him...send him to my Madara; he will treat him well." He glances at the man he is speaking of and draws a short, stuttering breath at the intensity of the attention the Madaras are giving to them. The two Madaras in varied states of undress almost make him laugh and do fill him with a sense of accomplishment. Some of the most powerful ninja in the world are shucking their robes and running their hands over each other while hardly looking away from the trio of pretty lookalikes.

He meets the passionate gaze of the eldest Madara and presses his thumb down just a bit on the head of his alternate's dick on his next stroke. SugarTobi might shoot the man an arrogant smirk as he does.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

The Tobirama covered in seals isn't the only one to react to that voice. The youngest goes still and stares at gvMadara, eyes wide and unaccustomed to his body reacting to...it's just a voice. He's only talking, but for some reason, Tobirama wants to listen.

SugarTobi shivers and presses closer to the eldest, the hand around his waist moving into a lazy groping as he nuzzles the man's neck. He keeps his voice low, and his lips hidden as he murmurs, "Shit, yours does that too, huh? If you want to put on a show for them...I can do that, but you need to tell me now..." He glances up and is riveted at the sight of the elder SugarMadara slowly peeling his gloves off. He swallows thickly, eyes following the movements as best they can, "Because otherwise I'm going to take mine out of sight for a few hours..."

The youngest Madara might be looking from the responding Tobis to his oldest self and back with something like respect, "Ah...I see..."

SugarMadara smirks at the both of them and finishes casually pulling his leather gloves off.

"They all do respond so well to instruction, don't they? I have found that mine tends to enjoy a more hands-on approach to lessons..." His eyes catch his lover's gaze and holds it as he brings his naked hand teasingly to his mouth. SugarTobi might whimper into his alternate's shoulder.

"Bastard, he knows I like to suck on his fingers."

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Youngest rests his head against gvTobi's shoulder, listening to his older self taking three fingers and just...floating in the contented quiet of his mind, luxuriating in the warmth of other bodies and the kindness in their voices. His arousal hardly even matters in comparison to the simple joy at the way he is called 'sweetheart' without a hint of mockery.

Sugar trembles in ecstasy as the Eldest slowly, carefully fucks his mouth with his fingers, unmindful of the saliva he can't swallow down. Heavy-lidded eyes are fixed on the other him's face, absolutely intent on his words and desperately wanting to satisfy his every desire.

-

SugarMadara's breath hitches as his delightful younger self takes him in further with a hum of appreciation. He jerks his hips slightly into that mouth, keeps his head pressed steady for a long moment, just until the other man start to choke, before relaxing his hold and rocking back.

He continues talking to the eldest Madara as if nothing amiss had happened.

"Hn...You want a good time, old man? I'm sure we can come up with something. As soon as this one finishes me off, I'm gonna turn around and get to my knees, show you my own skills while he jerks himself off over my back. How's that sound~?"

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi really enjoys how well-behaived and trained the older SugarTobi is. He rewards him with water. Good boy.]

[gvMadara is a grouchy old man who can't decide whether he loves or hates the Tobi-pile. Says something about SugarMadara needing to wash his hair.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

SugarTobi blinks lazily, pouting slightly as his mouth is left feeling strangely empty, and tilts his head to drink from the Eldest's hand. He kisses his palm when he is done, rests his scarred cheek docilely in the cupped fingers, open and vulnerable and simply waiting.

-

SugarMadara tilts his head back and smiles wickedly against the other man's throat. He wants to talk filthily about how wonderfully sore and pliant his lover will be after this, how wonderful their bathing together tends to be, but he knows better than to poke at that particular jealous beast. "Depravity is getting me some truly magnificent head right now, so I will take that as a compliment."

He is getting close to his end, as well. He tugs on the youngest's hair. "Get ready, you've done so well...we're almost done with that talented mouth of yours..."

Okay, hear me out. I know it's not canon that Jason drugged the other Titans during the Titans Tower Incident; he electrocuted two of them and then drugged the third.

But we're playing in the au's like bitch whatever, DC retcons and rewrites at the slightest provocation and we are here for stories, right?

And a lot of Titan's Tower au's have Red Hood drugging more people than in canon. And every time it happens there's an absolutely terrible little voice in the back of my head going, "Jason is so lucky that no one he drugged was hiding a substance abuse issue like Roy did. Jason is so lucky that none of these teenagers-to-young-adults who are incredibly physically active and who have so many traumas took some physician-prescribed, completely legal pain medications or anxiety pills or muscle relaxants. He is so lucky that any daily upkeep medication didn't cause a catastrophic drug interaction with the unknown. Heck, Jason is so lucky that whatever drugs he used were perfectly tailored to each individual's body mass and species."

I'm not saying I want a fic where Jason accidentally makes a young hero OD, but I think it would be interesting and darkly funny if Tim made him think he might have.

"You drugged everyone? Wait, even (X)?! What did you use, did you check to see if they took their benzos before you drugged them? (Y) Is allergic to propofol, was that part of the stuff you used?"

"Look, you can have the fight you want, just let me make you none of my friends are choking on their own vomit first."

Damn, I'm gonna hafta stop joking that Batman's a furry because after some thought, that's a disrespectful joke. Batman is clearly not a fursona and I should know better than to kink shame like that anyway.

I would like to announce that my little brother is a little bitch (nongendered) and I love him dearly.

I was texting him about a recent tragic realization about strawberries. And this little fucker who stole my height and testosterone from before the womb goes:

Little Bro: so that's bananas, pecans, milk, and strawberries

LB: all hurt your mouth

LB: gonna need to Kevorkian you with a banana split in a few years at this rate

Anyway I called him a cunt and I feel justified in that action. We love each other very much.

And that's very much how I see current Tim and Damien's relationship with each other. It's fun to playfully hate on a sibling who can bite back. It's flyting, but without the poetry.

Okay, okay, okay. More Bat-family brainrot to throw out into the void.

It's generally accepted that none of the Bats really enjoy going to galas or schmoozing with the upper class Gothamites. It's a fun enough joke or point of resentment or a good way to excuse the absence of other characters.

But consider the parties from a new angle: Galas are how the Bats patrol the ultra-rich areas. (I mean, that's where Epstein recruited his victims, right? And rich kids don't get their drugs from street corners)

Gotham vigilantes spend weeks swinging around on the main island, fighting street crime, foiling plots, etc. Gala Night is when they get to go hunting for the big fish, ya get me? They are so eager to dive into a Gala and find the tea.

It's a tech-heavy production, I'd wager. If your phone is on, it's being cloned. So many listening devices and/or cameras slipped into decorations or are being worn by the Bats. They're everywhere, popping in on conversations, encouraging people to talk about themselves, disguised as servers, disguised as other guests.

I say he should call himself the Coot, just to be extra fucking petty about how many times he's had to deal with mind games and intellectual-type villains.

Also, they are occasional nest parasite water birds with red eyes and black heads who are known to starve their weaker cooties of they don't kill them outright. And they look like ducks but they aren't ducks.

Hmmm hero with a habit of late nights, with a cowl and black hair who lives(d) on a houseboat. One who is known for looking like someone he's not or having imposter syndrome in general.

I'm just sayin'!

"Tim's next hero name should be (insert basic ahh bird name)!"

Incorrect, I believe it should either be a reference to a detective novel or some really weird/ less heard of/ complicated bird name.

"The Babbler"

"Slaty Thrush"

"Night Owl" would actually be cool, ngl...

"Sunbird"

"Crake"

"Eagle Owl"

"Red Rumped Swallow"

"American Pipit"

"Azure Dollarbird"

"Blood Pheasant"

"Barking Owl"

I think you get it.

Is there any way to say “I have a raging Internet crush on your fanfics” without it being weird?

Asking for a friend.

Edit: And how many people would a person be allowed to say this to before being legally known as a 'FicHo'?

Still asking for a friend.