I love this, I love this, I love this, I-!
This is my favorite kinda thing. Taking accepted canon and asking yourself, "but what if Unreliable Narrator? What if fronting?" Taking fanon interpretations and tilting them sideways a bit, looking at character traits from a different perspective.
And crossovers are just so much damn fun to do this with! The rules of engagement change around. The timeline becomes more of a suggestion. There is resting potential energy in every interaction!
The idea that John Constantine uses his rumpled, chain-smoking, tired lech of a person as a work uniform? Genius. Brilliant. Machiavellian.
Batman's disguise is being stupid. Superman's disguise is glasses. John Constantine's disguise is business casual fatherhood.
I am so excited for more of this! I've not seen this be explored before!
I love love all your writings!!
I like your depictions of John Constantine.
I'd like to see you write the sad trenchcoat persona as just that a persona in the same fashion as how Brucie Wayne is a persona.
Maybe he's been the de-aged Danny/Dannies father for years and is an actual functional adult. The sad trenchcoat is just used to keep people from calling on him to frequently because he's a dad and has dad-like things to do.
He could help tim with the time stream thing, like 'oh, yeah that does look like Bruce. Alright kid pack a bag we're going in the time stream I know a guy. No Nightwing I'm not joking this looks like solid proof'.
Maybe Bruce has a oh shit he's actually competent and could kill me, that's hot moment. (Kids I have found your other father, help me get him home)
"I would love to offer more of my time to waste on monitor duty, but I have a previous engagement. A particular fit lady needs help getting her dress on the floor. The cloth always gets stuck on her horns. " John leers, wagging his eyebrows at the grimaces his words cause.
He takes a puff of his cigarette, inhaling the smoke like a drowning man. He never smokes at home, not with Danny's sensitive lungs or Dani's general disgust at smoking, so he only had the chance when called away on missions.
Plus, Danny was trying out for ballet soon, and he wasn't going to ruin his son's chances of being a star because of his own poor habits.
It helped that the rest of the heroes believed he was consistently pumping nicotine into his system. Rather irresponsible for the hero to publicly commit frowned-upon activities - at least in the States. Back home, no one cared that much.
It didn't matter that the Justice League was a global team; the main hard hitters and founders were nearly all American, and they tended to uphold those social expectations, either subconsciously or not.
One more reason why they shouldn't bother John, he can't have him smoking at a big awards ceremony or seen going through an entire pack of cigarettes mid-fight. Oh no.
John Constantine was one of the best magic users of this universe, but he was a last resort. There were plenty of other magic users like Zatanna, Dr. Fate, Zatara, or even Etrigan that came to mind first.
John was likely too busy drowning his misery in bottles or the arms of any willing partner. That's what they all thought.
Or more importantly than what he wanted them to think.
"Well, this has been a time." He announces, snapping his fingers to open a portal to his house. "But I have to run. My lady needs a knowledgeable hand to help her-"
"Enough," Batman growls. Though he has complete control over his emotions, John can tell he's irritated by the meaningless detail. He smirks as the hero waves a hand, "Just go."
He offers the rest of the meeting room a cheeky two-finger salute as he struts out, letting the portal close behind him so his trench coat flares dramatically. It's a nice view, he's sure, but it's also unnecessarily showy, and he is sure at least three pairs of eyes are rolling at his exit.
A chuckle escapes his mouth, straightening from his slouch to properly stand straight and bend it far enough to pop. Goodness, his act always leaves him with a sore upper back; maybe he shouldn't hunch over so much, even if he was playing the part of a no-good punk.
John only had a few seconds to shiver at his own thoughts- he was a punk. A real one! He was in a band!- before he heard the tell-tell sign of a rapidly approaching double set of footsteps echo down the hall. He scrambles to fling his lit cigarette into a water portal, chucking the pack for double security, while summoning a random suitcase from thin air.
All that's left is his rather eye-catching coat, a little too worn down and old to work well with his well-put-together outfit underneath. Without it, John has a clean, pressed white shirt, a respectful tie, and a pair of slacks that make more than one head turn as he walks.
All in all, he looks like the office businessman his worthless father always wanted to be.
John throws off his coat over a chair at the same time the door is thrown open with a pair of excited yells. "Welcome home, Dad!"
A grin stretched across his face before he could think about it, feeling his heart swell at the sight of them, as he knelt down, arms open wide. Two tiny bodies slam into him without a second of hesitation, nearly knocking John backwards.
He lets out a soft grunt as Dani's arms attempt to wrap around his left arm and right shoulder. She clashes against Danny, who's trying to bury himself into John's right side, little face squished against one of John's pecs, like a bunny burrowing into the snow.
"Hello, my little lambs!" He gushes, squeezing the kids close. "How was your day with the House of Mystery? Did you two behave?"
"They were angels," Black Orchid confirms, gliding into the room at a much slower pace. They had their regular, impassive expression on their faces, but John could tell that Orchid was happy with the kids by the way they gently tapped the tops of the children's black hair.
"Dad! Dad! Now that you're home, can we please go get my new ballet shows?" Danny begs, bouncing on his toes.
For a moment, John doesn't see his son, but rather his own blue eyes staring up at his father, when he was also five, begging to join Lily, the next-door neighbor, in beginners' ballet class.
His father had beaten him nearly to death for wanting such a girly interest. It was the last time they spoke about it. It was also the last time John ever bothered asking to start new hobbies.
"Dad! Dad! Can I do Karate?" Dani asks then, snapping John from his memories better left buried, as she presses her check against her brother's in an attempt to get John's attention. "I want to break a board with my fist!"
He gives the children another squeeze, laughing at the squeals he gets. "Of course you can do karate, little lamb. We're going to get your brother his shoes, and then I'll find a gym that offers the classes at the same time."
"I already provided that service." Orchid cuts in, holding a flyer for Flying Graysons' gym, founded and run by the eldest Wayne in Gotham. "I took the liberty of signing Danny up for a class with Casnadra Wayne, and Dani will join Duke Thomas's class. It starts in a week."
"Plenty of time to go get them everything they need and a new book series for our bedtime stories," John announces, loosening his arms so his children can cheer and bounce up and down in excitement. His knee is starting to cramp up, but he ignores it so he can hold his kids.
It's moments like these, so small and mundane, that John is grateful he thought of his persona. When he first learned how to use the magic he was gifted, he always made himself available for any crisis.
This was before the Justice League days, so anyone who sought him out was familiar with the occult world. He adored helping, and he built an incredible amount of skill and knowledge in magic, but soon John was facing disaster after disaster, dragging his exhausted body from one place to another.
Those who came searching for him never cared. They wanted John to jump at the drop of a hat. He tried for years to always be ready, always be willing, but years of isolation and desperate battles tried him to the core.
Then he took in Danny and Dani, finding the pair of babies in a basket at the feet of the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep. He had gone to investigate the legends of the famous King Pariah Dark, only to find what he assumed were originally sacrifices, well and truly alive.
Their names were attached to their feet with a letter written by a Jazz Fenton begging the two to grow and live well. She had died to save them. In her honor, John kept their names.
Daniel "Danny" Fenton and Danielle "Dani" Fenton. He often wondered what Jazz had been to the kids, with their identical last names. It is a question he will never get the answer to.
They could have been no older than five months, but when they opened their eyes and reached up for him, John realized he no longer wanted to be the go-to man of magic.
He wanted to be their father.
To discourage people from calling him away from his children, John created his persona of a man barely honorable enough to join a team. Over the five years of his raising his kids, his reputation plummeted until only Batman called to him unless absolutely necessary.
It was a breath of fresh air. John had fought for too long and too hard. He was retired now, just like his band days, the days when John would speed off to save the world were behind him. He only stepped in if a friend asked for a favor.
He had other priorities now.
The best part? The Justice League would never know that.
"Dad!" Dani screamed into his ear, making him grimace.
"Inside voice, darling."
"Sorry." She twirls her fingers, a nervous habit she picked up from John, before brightening up "I'm just super excited. Orichad said Mr. Bruce Wayne will be at the gym! Do you think he'll sign my Wayne Space shirt?"
Ah, yes, the man who was funding some space program or another. He only knew about this because his twins adored anything to do with space travel, as if though he couldn't just teleport them to a different planet.
"I'm sure he will, darling."
It'd be wild to do a study on writers and their Internet search histories. Not secretly or anything, like, they'd sign up for it, clearly.
Writing fic is wild bc this is an incomplete list of things I've had to look up for fics in the last couple weeks:
Best universities for psychology degree
McCarthyism
WikiHow wedding planning
Sunrise times in New Jersey
When were long-distance phone calls invented?
Whiteboards
1950s pajamas
Martha and Jon Kent are trans t4t and that's why they knew how to get new documentation for a space toddler.
StephCass is canon the way the People have responded to official UNO rules
Eroticism is simply one of the basic modes of human expression and the fact that it terrifies people who have built their lives out of repression and self denial is only more reason to make erotic art. They will not stop with their own lives, they want to punish anyone who doesn’t conform to the same standards of cruelty they heap on themselves. But of course it will not work. It has never worked before. Even under the most adverse conditions beauty has always found ways of flourishing. We refuse to hide or live in shame and fear. We will make beautiful that which they find repulsive.
Strawberry milk is so good frfr is better than actual strawberries because it doesn't make your mouth spicy afterwards
Strowburry melk
Red Hood has 100% heard Tim and Bernard being freaky and broken into their place thinking that an assault was in progress.
Shots were definitely fired.
Okay, okay, okay. More Bat-family brainrot to throw out into the void.
It's generally accepted that none of the Bats really enjoy going to galas or schmoozing with the upper class Gothamites. It's a fun enough joke or point of resentment or a good way to excuse the absence of other characters.
But consider the parties from a new angle: Galas are how the Bats patrol the ultra-rich areas. (I mean, that's where Epstein recruited his victims, right? And rich kids don't get their drugs from street corners)
Gotham vigilantes spend weeks swinging around on the main island, fighting street crime, foiling plots, etc. Gala Night is when they get to go hunting for the big fish, ya get me? They are so eager to dive into a Gala and find the tea.
It's a tech-heavy production, I'd wager. If your phone is on, it's being cloned. So many listening devices and/or cameras slipped into decorations or are being worn by the Bats. They're everywhere, popping in on conversations, encouraging people to talk about themselves, disguised as servers, disguised as other guests.
I am 100% convinced that Talia al Ghul and Dick Grayson don't get along because when she was dating Bruce she absolutely would make comments about how they'd be a happy family once they had a real kid together. Always when Bruce was just out of earshot, little biting criticisms about Dick being lazy, or unintelligent, or demanding. I think when Bruce was around she would bring up topics like boarding schools or press Dick on his future plans in a way that implied that he'd be on his own once he aged out of the wardship.
All that probably contributed to Bruce and Dick's crash out later in life, too. I believe Talia didn't want to be a stepmom, but wanted Bruce, so did her best to separate him from his son.
A lot of people like to say Talia is a good mom to Jason and I don't see it??? She had him trafficked across the world and manipulated him? She knowingly put him under the authority of people he'd then kill because they were doing some fucked up shit? Sure, she had some pretty advice for a few pages, but keep in mind that Jason basically has "susceptible to motherly influence" stamped on his forehead. At the very most, she is affectionate towards Jason. He's a well-trained pet.
Talia al Ghul loves one kid and one kid only: Damian. That's it. Even then, it's a fucked up sort of love for the fucked up sort of life she was born into. She doesn't have it in her to allow for any more vulnerability than him and Bruce. She's a complex, fascinating character. An excellent look into the psyche of the loving abuser. I want to read psychology journals based on her.
Resource hoard, resource hoard!
...I need to make a different Tumblr where I pretend to be a dragon amassing knowledge with gremlin energy.
Precious gems? No. Look at my collection of books about precious gems! This one is about how they're made! This one is about their meaning in different cultures! This one is about how to use them in science! This one is about fictional precious gems! Here's a history of jewelry styles! Here's how they affected trade! Let's sit together and read each other our favorite parts!
The Special Interest Dragon doesn't get invited to many parties, but he is sure popular when essays need to be sourced.
* body language masterlist
* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does
* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes
* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said
* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again
* some more body language help
(hope this helps some ppl)
(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)
The two Madara with their original eyes might have briefly sharinganed that image. SugarTobi tries not to laugh at them too much. "Oh dear...did he really have such reservations? How quaint. How gentlemanly."
Older SugarMadara chuckles quietly, "Oh, I would...I did." and catches his lover's eyes. He smiles, enjoying the way the man blushes even after an entire year together. "Don't be so harsh, Big Brother; he really was quite an inexperienced young man back then. Very reserved and proper, even when he wanted to learn so very much~"
The youngest truly blushes at that and looks almost angry at the taunt. The older SugarTobirama hums quietly and looks at the eldest Madara with a mocking raised eyebrow, "Ah yes, and you are so very familiar with undefiled versions of us. Fifteen years his elder and yet I am sure you are tempted..." Privately, he wonders again about whether he has spent too much time around his lover, to pick up on this sort of talk. Still. It is quiet fun to watch the shortest, oldest Madara squawk at him.
YoungMadara smirks and crosses his arms, standing a little apart from his other selves, "Two years older than I am and all you've done is talk. Do you even know what to do with those pretty young men or do you still need Big Brother to hold your hand and tell you how your dick works?"
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