Drinking Water Alone Will Get Me Hydrated And Feeling Overall Better, But It's Definitely Not Enough

How does one let cherry tomatoes become a binge food

Why

When

What

How

I don't understand

tempted to steal my Dad's laxatives

How I feel after 1 binge:

I got a new book to reeeaaad

I don't read a lot (I used to inhale books as a kid and I have my fanfiction phases, but I just don't have tiiiimeee and when school is stressful the last thing I want to do is read even more 🥲)

But I'm supper excited for this one

I need to stop normalising binging

"If you lose some weight you'll fit into that!"

-My 10 year old sister to me as we were looking for outfits to wear at a special event

Like... bitch. But you're right. And no, you weren't "just kidding". It's fine. It's fine. It's FUCKING FINE.

Just gonna do some red paintings on my legs later is all. It's fine.

I hate my body more than I like food.

I should've taken my blades with me

If alcohol bad then why so tasty? Why it make me happy :(

I binged the FIFTH FUCKING DAY IN A ROW.

Holy shit. I feel so ashamed for even typing this and I don't know how or why I could let that happen. And I could've restricted so easily, too, yesterday and today because my parents were at work and I was home alone with my siblings, but NOOO I had to fucking...

I haven't even weighed myself but I'm sure it's going to be awful when I do, especially since I've been doing so well before (I've lost a lot of weight and haven't binged for a relatively long time). I've probably ruined all the progress of the past weeks.

I'm going to fucking change now. I don't think today can be saved honestly, even if I at least counted most of my calories and compared to the other days, it wasn't as bad, but I'm still going to get in my steps and then I'll be fucking DONE with binging. Thankfully, we'll soon visit my Grandma and on travel days I can fast usually, so I'm going to absolutely use that as sort of catalyst for finally locking in again, but of course I'm going to start RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

I can't go back to school after Easter break having gained like 5kg or something, not when we have so many swimming classes atm and all my friends were calling me skinny and complimenting my waist. I still have a week and a half to lock in and lose weight and I'm going to use it.

In the second week, only my sister and I will be home for a couple of days and maybe I'll even try to fast through all of them (depending on how much school work I'll have left to do then)

So yeah, sorry for rambling but I do feel slightly better now because of it