AITAH?

saving for when ao3 returns.

SCP Rewrite Season 2: Blue Key

“Alpha Strike, report to Professor Otis’ office immediately, I repeat, report to Otis’ office immediately!”

The PA system interrupted the overall good day that Cory (and by extension the rest of the gang, no one really liked Otis)

“I just started eating,” Scott sighed, looking down.

“Yeah, I need to finish third lunch!” Cory pouted.

“Doesn’t matter now, let’s head off everyone,” Triana said as she left the common room, the rest of the team trailed behind her as they all made their way to Otis’ office.

“This is gonna suck…” Lara grumbled.

Alpha Strike walked into the rather bare office, grouping up directly in front of the desk where Otis was sitting behind; tapping his desk nervously and squinting at the MTF when they all entered.

“Ah, hello the six of you,” Otis breathed out. “I know we haven’t been on… the best terms recently, but I need you to put that behind you,”

“We will, sir,” Triana sighed. “Right everyone?”

The rest of Alpha Strike half-heartedly nodded, or mumbled a form of the word “yes”.

Otis nodded too. “Good, I have a personal mission for you,” Otis placed a blue key on the table.

“Is that-”

“Yes it’s SCP 860!” Otis interrupted Hooper as he began to speak. “I am asking you to explore the dimension created by the key. Take the Micro HID Gun with you,”

“Why? I thought we got everything we needed from there awhile ago,” Scott turned his head curiously.

Otis sighed roughly. “We are seeing if there is any way to stun the creature within it, no more questions. Get to it,”

Cory raised his hand. “But-”

“Get to it!”

Cory sighed, Alpha Strike left the office as quickly as they had entered.

---

“Why is he so friggin’ mean…” Cory pouted, Hooper patted him on the back a little.

“Don’t feel too bad, he’s a dick to most’a us,” The Corporal reassured.

“He’s also sending us on a suicide mission,” Nikole said. “There’s that,”

Triana looked around her crew. “Yeah, this mission into 860-1 seems sketchy at best, and an assassination attempt at worse,”

“Eh, we’ll get through it,” Scott shrugged. “They actually put in the suggestions I made for the Micro HID Thingy, so it should be actually stable this time,”

“Hopefully, you’re the only guy who’s fun around here,” Nikole chuckled as she hit him on the back.

Cory pouted harder. “I’m fun!”

“Fun to laugh at, yeah,” Nikole chuckled before “Ow!”

Hooper jabbed her in the side.

“Jeez, fine I get it,”

The trip to the door that 860 opened didn’t take much longer, not factoring in the still relatively short wait to get the Micro HID into Scott’s hands.

---

Every member of Alpha Strike was standing in front of the door. Lara was sitting over a laptop.

“Alright, let’s head on in, get this over with,” Triana said as she put the key in the hole, opening the door. She lead each members of her team into the door ending with her-

“Hey, Tri,”

“Yeah honey?” Triana turned around to look at Lara.

The blue haired woman’s face scrunched into one of concern. “Stay safe in there, I know someone who was apart of the initial containment for this thing and it wasn’t pretty,”

“I will, Lara,” Triana nodded. “I love you,”

“Love you too, Tri,”

---

The team walked on into a large, dense forest. They found themselves in a large, dense forest with trees a hundred times taller than them. They found themselves on a dirt path stretching out in front of them.

“Alright, getting out of here shouldn’t be too hard,” Lara said. “Just move forward until you find another door,”

“Thanks Bluejay,” Triana said. “You heard her, let’s get moving, be on high alert so we don’t get jumped,”

“Yes ma’am!” Scott said as he readied the large gun in his hand.

Cory shivered and counted the twigs on the floor as the team began to move through the dark forest. The whole ordeal reminded him of the shadow guy incident, Micro HID that may or may not work this time included.

The team continued to walk through the path until they got to a fork in the roads.

Triana tapped her earpiece. “We’re at a crossroads, Bluejay, left or-”

“Right,” Lara affirmed. “This someone went right and escaped, so you probably will too,”

“Thanks,” Triana smiled. “You heard her, let’s go right,”

“Roger that!” Hooper affirmed.

“No, seriously who is Roger?”

The team quickly turned around to stare judgmentally at Cory, then turned around just as quickly to walk on the left path. The cobblestones were starting to make the anxious camera faced man’s feet hurt.

“Jeez, when’s this gonna be over? I wanna go home,” Cory mumbled.

“We all do, you just need to suck it up for now- AGH!”

Triana screeched as something pounced from the trees. A big cat made of purple wood with flesh sticking out of the cracks, and glowing yellow eyes that bored into Triana’s as it began to claw at her: chest, stomach and arms.

Triana groaned in pain as she began to kick the thing, Scott began to charge up the Micro as Nikole ran over to force the thing off.

“Dude, move I’m about to-”

“Give it a minute!” Nikole yelled as hit the Skip repeatedly on the back, it began to scream in pain too as it waved a claw at the Sergeant; Nikole managed only a scratch on her upper chest.

Triana grabbed the thing’s other arm and slammed it to the floor as she kicked herself to her feet.

“SCOTT, NOW!”

“I’m doing it!”

FWEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The creature writhed and writhed, like a cat restrained in barbed wire. Triana’s hold was firm, adrenaline was to thank for that, however.

“FUCK!” Triana shouted when the thing bit her arm, the pain forced her muscular arm off of the creature who jumped into the forest just us

BZZZZT

A patch of burnt, dead grass between the two women, and the complete lack of the creature. Leaves rustled as everyone slowly calmed down from the encounter.

“Goddammit!” Triana yelled raising her hand as- “Ow!”

Rest for awhile, LT, you look pretty fucked up,” Hooper patted Triana on the back, then quickly stopped doing that cause it made Triana wince.

“What happened? What the fuck happened, is everyone okay, hello? Hello?” Lara panicked over the radio, her voice filled with shrill anxiety.

“I-I’m… fine,” Triana winced. “We need to-”

“You literally just got attacked,” Nikole winced too as she covered the scratch on her chest. “We’ll patch this up, and we’ll keep moving, but you gotta stay behind us,”

“I-I shit…” Triana trailed off. “I guess we’ll have to rest, ack up here for a bit,”

Lara could be heard breathing in and out, desperately trying to calm herself down. “Tri, Tri are you alright?”

“I just got attacked, I-I’ll be fine, honey, just breathe,” Triana reassured, her voice shaky from the bleeding that Hooper had begun to patch up using some gauze.

“Okay, okay, that’s much better alright,” Lara let out a huge breath. “I mean, you being attacked is bad, but you’re still speaking, so it’s not too bad?”

“Skip dinked ya up bad, huh?” Hooper mumbled to himself as he wrapped up the bite mark.

“Oh jeez really? I uh… shit shit shit,” Lara mumbled.

“Hoop, quit giving Lara a heart attack,” Nikole sighed as she quickly patched up her own wound. “I’ll go get blondie to unfreeze-”

“I’m fine,” Cory mumbled. “Let’s just uh… get this done as soon as possible,”

“Agreed,” Triana grimaced as she slowly got up from the floor, Hooper quickly offered his shoulder as support.

“You really alright, Cory? You look a bit shaken up is all,” Hooper asked, concern evident in his soft tone.

“Yeah, I’m just shaken up,” Cory let out a breath. “Ready to keep going,”

“That’s good,” Scott smiled as he carried the Micro. “Anyways, for some good news this thing still has another charge, we might still be able to catch this thing,”

“Alright that’s good, we’ll need a way to lure that thing out though,” Triana said. “It’s skiddish, so we’ll fuck need a way to keep it occupied,”

“Before you ask… no, I am not being bait for-”

“I’ll do it,” Nikole interrupted Cory as she raised her hand. “It’ll wanna go after me anyway, got the feeling it’s pissy with me after we showed it its place,”

Triana let out a wheezy chuckle. “Makes sense to me, let’s get to it,”

Cory breathed a sigh of relief, he (probably) wasn’t gonna get scratched by this weird cat thingy!

---

Nikole stood in the middle of a patch of the forest, everyone else was out of sight. She lightly moved the bandage around her upper chest to let the smell of blood enter the air.

“Come outta here you weird cat thing, you don’t have the balls!” Nikole mumbled after she took a swig from her flask, an extremely important part of the plan according to her.

Rrrrrrrr…

Growling, it was in the woods… lying in wait for the perfect chance to pounce.

The prey was practically presenting itself to it, it was almost too good to be true for the creature. The intruder would be annihilated and the rest would leave; all it needed to do was pounced-

BZZZZZZT

It roared in midair as it fell to the ground, electric pain throughout its whole body.

“Wooooo!” Scott cheered as he lowered the Gun. “We gottem!”

“Don’t celebrate too soon, now we gotta carry it out,” Hooper said. “Lara, tell the higher ups that we incapacitated the Skip,”

“Will do, Hoop,” Lara said. “Just get out of there ASAP, I-I’m not super comfy with Tri being in there is all,”

“I’ll live, honey,” Triana sighed. “Just a couple days in the medical wing is all,”

“Hopefully,” Lara chuckled uncomfortably.

“Woooooooooo! We’re the fucken’ winners tonight!” Nikole waved her arms as she stepped around the forest.

“Welp, everyone’s either injured or drunk, you gotta help me carry this thing, Cory,” Hooper said with his hands wrapped around the wrist of the creature.

“Do I have to?” Cory puffed his cheeks.

“Well, considerin’ that Triana’s too injured, and Nik’s too drunk… I’m kinda your boss,” Hooper chuckled. “So yeah, you have to,”

“Ugh, I should’ve stayed in accounting…” Cory pouted as he lazily stomped his way over to the incapacitated creature.

The difference between the Justice League and the core four is:

The Justice League is horrified that Batman has contingency plans to subdue (and/or kill) them, should they become a threat for any reason

The core four helped Tim brainstorm ways to stop them and wrote it all down in glitter gel pen

Jason, horrified and slightly offended that people call HIM the bad Robin when this monstrosity exists: who the hell let you outta the psych ward?

Tim, turning slowly to meet Jason’s eyes: the psychiatrist. They all think I’m perfectly normal. Let me remind you Jason, I am Robin because I needed to make a point.

Tim: How many people are you willing to kill for your mission?

Jason: How many are you

Tim: For my mission? Zero. Now, to make a point on the other hand...

Like… Anakin literally almost left Palpatine multiple times cause Obi Wan was in danger… this man could’ve been made Emperor if he had even HINTED at it..

Obi-Wan being star wars' biggest damsel in distress while also being one of the most powerful jedi ever is so funny to me. Like he's getting captured on purpose. That has to be whats happening. "Oh nooo ive gotten tied up by somebody who's obsessed with me again!!looks like someone equally obsessed with me has to swoop in and save me :33" He's the pillow princess of warfare

Absolutely. Valid. Truth. Yes.

mcd!aphmau may be an incredibly good person and a massive pacifist with more wisdom than anger but. i think she should be allowed to tell people to eat shit and fuck off. you’d have to push her pretty far to get her to do it but she should still tell people to eat shit and fuck off. i think she’s more annoyed with people than she shows

In my mind, MCD!Aphmau and Zane have a very special unique relationship in that Zane is the only person on earth that Aphmau hates more than anything. Like, this is a woman born from the mercy of Christ. And she fucking hates his guts so bad. He’s done far too much damage to everyone she’s loved for her to ever see him as more than pure evil. She is a woman of redemption and even i think she would see a Zane redemption arc as utterly impossible to ever achieve. She has a “kill on sight” policy that ONLY applies to him and NO ONE ELSE. Her and Zane could go back and forth bickering and telling each other “fuck you” over and over again. Even Shad earns more sympathy and mercy and empathetic understanding from Aphmau than Zane does. Aphmau would sooner befriend The Shadow Lord himself than EVER side with Zane.

And on Zane’s side of things, Aphmau is special because no one has ever thwarted him as much as her. He absolutely underestimated her at the beginning, thinking she’s just some random peasant girl in a shitty old town that no one’s ever heard of. And then she turns out to be his enemy nm. 1. The arch nemesis. I very much picture their dynamic in my head as a constant chess match going on between Zane and Aphmau. Zane is normally the king of chess, he gets everything he wants and the whole world cowers before him, but Aphmau has never cowered before in her life and she is most certainly not going to start now. She doesn’t quit. He can back her into a corner, he can take away her loved ones, he can put her in impossible dilemmas and threaten the lives of everyone she cares about with certain doom, all scenarios that would normally crush the average opponent and get them to cave under their own fear and beg him for mercy. But Aphmau doesn’t. She keeps fucking going and she never stops, she just can’t be held down, no matter what he tries. And in the end, he loses. They end up in the Irene dimension and he loses.

There’s something to be said that the High Priest of the Church of Irene’s worst nemesis is Irene herself. The very woman he’s supposed to worship with utter devotion, but once he actually meets the object of his religious faith, he REFUSES TO. He HATES her. He has met his own God and has decided he’d rather punch her square in the face than pledge himself to her. No one hates Aphmau more than Zane, and no one hates Zane more than Aphmau.

anyway i think she would tell him to fuck off and die all of the time and he’d tell her right back at you bitch

DC X DP: Taking The Cake - Dead Tired

This had to take the cake.

Tim had noticed a couple of odd things about his boyfriend.

One: His boyfriend had an unusual cold temperature-- Tim had originally assumed it might just be because he had poor circulation in his blood stream. But as winter creeped in and his boyfriend still didn't get cold? Not only didn't get cold, but thrived in the temperature? Tim considered just maybe his boyfriend was a meta.

Danny had never mentioned being a meta. But Tim hadn't mentioned being Red Robin either. Not to mention, this was Gotham, so Tim understood why Danny may be a tad apprehensive as to mentioning his colder temperatures.

And if Tim kept the thermostat at a lower temperature from then on any time Danny came to visit? Well, that was his business and nobody else's.

Two: His boyfriend was abnormally quiet. Danny had managed to sneak up on Tim and a few of his family members before. He had managed to sneak up on Cass. And while, on some level Tim could understand his family's apprehension, he felt telling them to promptly 'f*ck off' had also been justified. Tim knew Danny, and Danny genuinely hadn't meant to sneak up on them. 

He had seemed just as startled as them when they shot up in surprise. (And maybe he did ask Cass if Danny was genuinely surprised. His boyfriend was a little sh*t and would totally pull something like this to laugh at. It was his business and Cass's and as far as the two of them were concerned, Danny was perfectly fine.)

Three: Danny was oddly protective. He freaked out anytime there was a Rogue attack and he hadn't heard back from Tim. And while Tim was touched, he hadn't exactly appreciated the mini heart attack he received when he saw Danny out in the field looking for him in a panic.

(That was one of their first big fights. Tim didn't want Danny out in the line of fire, he could take care of himself. Even if Danny didn't know that. But Danny had been just as insistent that he needed to hear back from Tim to know that he was safe.)

They'd reach a compromise. Tim made sure to always respond to Danny's text messages asking if he was safe during a major rogue attack. (Never any phone calls. Danny would know he was lying then.) And he would put up with Danny coddling him the next time he saw him. While it was a bit frustrating, Tim was still touched by the worry.

Four: Danny had enhanced senses. At first, Tim didn't really notice. But eventually, he saw how Danny would flinch at particularly loud noises. Would avoid crowds like the plague. Would sometimes have to wear sunglasses because it was "too bright". Tim never said anything. Never called attention to any of these occurrences, just attempted to help his boyfriend through it.

Tim knew it was a possibility that Danny was just sensitive to those types of things. But considering Tim was sure that Danny was some type of meta, he was leaning more towards that theory.

Five: His boyfriend was unusually strong for someone that looks as much like a twig like him.

Once when Tim had been injured particularly badly during patrol, he had practically been put on bedrest. Not because he hadn't attempted to go out the next night, but because Danny had found out he was injured and came to take care of him while he was injured.

When Tim had attempted to sneak out that night, luckily he had yet to change into his Red Robin suit, Danny had basically manhandled him back into bed. With absolutely no effort, even with Tim struggling against him. Not that Tim had struggled much, with how frazzled his brain had been when he realized that Danny was stronger than he realized.

And if Tim invited Danny to the gym next time he worked out? Well, that didn't have any ulterior motives, no matter what Steph insisted upon.

And now for number six. This took the absolute cake. The last thing Tim had expected. And at this point? Tim wasn't so sure that Danny was actually even human. Which means he would have to completely scrap his theories on his boyfriend and start over from scratch.

Because right now, Tim and Danny were cuddled up on the couch in Danny's apartment. They were having a series marathon of the Star Trek series. It had started out perfectly fine. It had started out as normal.

A weighted blanket on top of the two, Danny cuddled up to Tim, with a bowl of popcorn in-between the two. Eventually, they shifted. The bowl of popcorn ending up on the floor with Danny on top of Tim on the couch.

Absentmindedly, Tim began running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, not really paying attention to the background noise of the TV. He was just so warm and felt safe with the added weight of Danny on top of him. The movements of his finger's being just as much as a soothing motion to Tim as it was to Danny.

And at first, Tim hadn't noticed it. Not when he was slowly drifting off to sleep. But as the sound got louder, Tim couldn't help but notice. Danny was purring. 

Tim blinked and he blinked again. Not once stopping in his ministrations as he blanked out. Danny continued purring away, leaning into Tim's touch, his eyes closed and a content smile on his face. Tim couldn't help but be reminded of an overly affectionate cat. Especially when he rubbed the space around Danny's scalp and ears, Tim was convinced the was purring louder than the sound coming from the TV at this point.

So maybe he wasn't human after all. Maybe Tim should have given more weight to Damian's alien theory.

But right now, Tim was tired, and he was sure he would remember in the morning.

In the end, Tim allowed Danny's presence to send him off into a warm and comfortable sleep.

(And if Tim proceeded to take apart his theory board and contemplate just how to ask his boyfriend about the fact that he wasn't human? Well, that was his business and nobody else's)

He does it in front of other people and Clown SCREECHES at the top of his lungs. People assume Brandy is killing him but it’s the other way around.

Something something Branzy's hands being cold because of how often he dies and Clown's being warm and and and they hold hands all the time. Branzy is just constant leeching off of his warmth and he 100% goes to hold Clown's hands with his cold ass fingers and Clown SCREAMS ...I am so normal !!

@gilbirda Ok, so you made a snippet of on of your AUs a while back (braindead rejected! soulmate i think) and I haven't been able to think of much else since. So my brain made a little thingy for you!

------------

1. Tim takes a risk one day by writing back to whoever was doodling on his body, with a glittery purple gel pen, asking them to stop trying to contacting him.

All the person asked was, "Why?"

Tim never answers.

2. Danny faces constant rejection from his peers, authority figures, his parents and sister neglect him and now his own soulmate doesn't want him. They hadn't even met before he was rejected. Jazz finds out about Dannys powers and tries to reach out but Danny rejects her pretty violently due to his own pain. Then the episode where Sam and Tucker ditch him for Gregor happens and he gives up.

The two people in his life that has had pretty much complete control over his life and trajectory just abandoned him and he does not take it well. He ripped the symbol off his chest, disappeared and never came back.

3. Danny zooms into a new dimension/universe/whatever to avoid his former friends and family from being able to track him only to land in a place called Central City and immediately getting roped into helping Captain Cold who gives him a normal domino mask and they end up working together for a while.

4. Danny somehow overhears one of the speedster talking on the phone about his friends brothers soulmate issue at some point and they perfectly describe the interaction that happened between Danny and his soulmate all those years ago, down to the glittery purple gel pen and the types of doodles Danny had made as a kid and the things he said.

Danny learned one of his soulmates belonged to a group of detective vigilantes in a place called Gotham. Unfortunately he was spotted by the speedster and Danny had to bounce.

5. The Flash made reports to the Justice League about a meta teen who hes been having trouble with for a while and can't seem to pin down. He only asked for tips though as he "could handle it himself."

6. Danny leaves for Gotham and learned about Catwoman and Batmans weird Master Thief and Greatest Detective dynamic and decided that's what he wants to do. He was going to make his soulmate chase after him one way or another. Someone was going to want him even if they were wanting him behind bars.

He begins robbing bank vaults and museums, leaving no trace or clue as to what happened until he starts leaving a calling card of sorts.

7. Jason, who's been on the outs with his family lately meets this spunky white haired meta kid running around with a sci-fi mask/visor thing and giving supplies to homeless encampments and keeping the less fortunate alive and befriends him. He learns that this is the guy everyone has been searching for and just...tells no one. Jason is all for a Robin Hood vigilante, and really, its kinda funny to see his family squirm.

8. Phantom and Catwoman rob the same museum at the same time but for different things. They stare at eachother from where they're both still crouched from thier respective landings until Danny breaks the tension with "I didn't see you if you didn't see me?"

Catwoman laughs, amused. "Sure."

9. Danny finally narrowed down which of the batfam is his soulmate and introduced himself to them as Phantom.

The first thing Danny did was hit on Tim. Tim is flustered but otherwise doesn't really respond to it and tries to fight Phantom into submission, so of course Danny ghosts him by disappearing through a roof mid fight. Danny made a big show of his intangibility in that fight and made it seem like it was the only power he had but he was very skilled with it and he wanted to impress him.

10. Phantom becomes well known to the underbelly of Gotham. Mostly the homeless and nightworkers. But Danny was open and friendly. Never judging and always ready to lend a helping hand. Even better. He never came to collect on favors.

Over time, they became loyal to him.

11. Danny gets framed for a series of murders and the whole gang (minus Hood) are trying to capture him, thus, motorcycle chase scene. They use the white of his tires to tell when he's gone intangible due to all the dirt falling off the wheels. Nightwing jumps onto the bike and shocks Danny with his encrizma sticks right before Danny grits out "bye bye birdy~" and makes a big show of taking in a deep breath and holding it.

Nightwing is forced to jump off the bike as Danny runs through the concrete abutment of the overpass and coming out the other side

12. Danny meets Tim and Duke in his civilian form while he was at a Wayne tech conference. Danny had been asked about one of his inventions and was trying to show off the blueprints and explain things and thats why he was there in the first place. Duke of course, was internally screaming because that's the guy thats the guy they've been hunting for nearly a year but can find nothing on.

Red Robin confronts Phantom that night on a rooftop and Phantom laughs at him, "Thats why I was avoiding Signal for so long. He'd see my magical girl form and know instantly."

RR holds out a pair of handcuffs and says "Its over Danny." Phantom smirks and says, "I don't think it is, Tim" before jumping off onto a different roof and disappearing into the night. Tim is shook.

13. Danny over hears Robin berating RR at an old clocktower and intervenes, "Little Wayne, you do realize you were the first person I figured out, right?"

Damian proceeds to lose his mind.

14. Tim accidentally finds a material that Phantom can't phase through and quickly gets to work making things he can use against Danny. What he doesn't know is that Danny can phase through it he just pretended he couldn't because he wanted to see what would happen/what Tim would do.

Danny can sense the material and it feels really wierd to him, but doesn't harm him at all.

15. RR manages to knock Phantoms visor off his face and realizing it was made of tech he swipes it and brings it back to the cave for study.

He wasn't ready for all the information on the computer. Not only was his nemesis(?) from another plain of reality (he thinks Danny is from the ghost zone) but he was once a superhero with his own Rogues Gallery and human city to protect. Which begs the question, why did he become a Phantom thief?

16. The Joker hears about Phantom giving the bats the run around and comes to a misunderstanding about which bat he's been messing with which ultimately ends with Joker saying that he is Batmans ultimate nemesis and Phantom asking what that had to do with him? The misunderstanding is cleared up when Phantom complained about Joker even thinking that he was flirting with Batman because "Ew! He's an old man!"

Joker still got a few shots in for the heck of it but so did our ghost boy but they were no longer enemies.

17. The whole batfam had been freaking out about finally capturing Phantom and celebrating and plotting on how they were gonna get him to keep his mouth shut about thier identities until Jason came in,

Jason: Need help?

Phantom: Please?

Jason: *escapes with Danny*

Batfam: What?! No!!! Why?!

18. The batfam have only a vague idea of the Robin Hood thing going on. They know he's doing it just not to the extent its gone to. They find out later on that Phantom had been working with RH and his gang to sell off the items and most of the profits go to helping people. Other times he strait up gives jewelry and whatnot to children and working girls because "Everyone deserves something pretty, and even if its not your style you can keep it for a rainy day"

Phantom quickly gains a following and Danny doesn't even know about it. Clueless indeed.

19. Dannys main motivation in this is essentially just playing Cops and Robbers with Red Robin. Nothing else really matters to him. Not the robberies, not the fact he's working with a crime lord, not even his own safety matters much to him anymore. Hes readily zooming down the path of self destruction and Hood starts telling his family stuff, but only because he was genuinely worried about "Casper" crashing and burning.

20. No one knows why Phantom is fixated on Red Robin. He refuses to tell them. Red thinks its just because he's the smartest of the bats and he's not entirely wrong.

21. Danny legit started scheduling his heists with Tim to ensure they're both free after one couldn't make it too many times which blew the birds mind. Phantom must have been just that confident that he would always win. The bats eventually think Danny will stop stealing if RR isn't in the city for a long period of time. Danny more or less followed him and stole stuff from whatever city Tim was in. If there wasn't any museums or banks then Danny would steal a local landmark. Tim still wasn't sure how Phantom stole an entire building that one time but it had never been seen since.

22. Hood grows to be very protective of our favorite ghost boy. They bond and are actually really close. Danny admits he always wanted an older brother.

23. Tim goes off world for a while to see how Danny would react and Danny just...drops off the radar. No one knows where he is and after a week or two they start getting worried.

Tim returns after three months and Danny reappears two weeks after him with a tan and keepsakes from the places he visited on his vacation. Tim later screams into his pillow.

24. Tim has made it his personal mission to figure out who Danny really is, why he's fixated on him, where he came from, ect. Hes trying so hard but can't find anything. Its almost like he didn't exist before. Tim suddenly got an idea after Phantom accidentally got hit in the face and got a nosebleed. Tim saw green blood and immediately realized Danny might not even be human. Fortunately for our little ghost, he thinks he's an alien. A Martian specifically. Tim manages to snag a good sample from treating Phantoms wounds. Ghostboy was so focus on his core thrumming and mentally comparing it to his heart racing that he didn't even notice.

25. Tim later freaks out because the meta is freaking made out of Lazarus water.

The entire batfam was not happy to discover this and decided to work together to pressure Phantom into telling them what he was and what exactly he wanted.

Initiate Clone AU

Council: *confusedly ranting at Qui-Gon about how he has the nerve to go and change time of all the things, completely ignoring the worst case scenario he just laid out in front of them*

Qui-Gon: *ignoring them entirely while somehow feeding both Anakin and Obi-Wan at the same time, probably helped out because Rex and Cody are trying to hold the babies for him anyways*

Obi-Wan: *absolutely blissfully peaceful because Master is smiling at him and giving him attention*

Council member: -and to top it off, you’re not even going to be here to deal with the consequences-

Qui-Gon: *looks up finally, annoyed* Well maybe I would actually BE in the temple for one if none of you felt the need to constantly send me and my YOUNG, FRAGILE padawan to parts unknown!

Other council member: *rolls her eyes* Not only do you LIKE that, but you thrive off being able to bully government officials.

Qui-Gon: *delicate sniff like that’s completely below him* Well, stop it. I’m retiring. I’m tired of solving the galaxy’s problems. Time to fix the mess that is our order.

Council: *feels great fear*

Rex: *snuggling up to Qui-Gon’s side cause he’s starting to like this man*

Cody: *fully in his lap because Cody has come to love this man through a form of Stockholm Syndrome that was hell the first time, he doesn’t feel like going through it again*

Qui-Gon: *the smuggest Master in the whole order, because baby cuddles*

Plo: *probably the second smuggest Master in the order, because baby Wolffe cuddles*

Qui-Gon: Anyways, it would be best if you could restrict me and the little ones to the temple for now. I’ll take charge of their schooling, enroll them in the classes they need. Won’t that be fun, you’ll finally be able to tell me what to do for once.

Yoda: Do what you will, you will no doubt.

Qui-Gon: *perking up a little* You’re right. Absolutely right. A restriction won’t stop me, so best to just play along while I’m fairly harmless.

Council member: Play along? With you becoming an in-temple busybody?

Qui-Gon: Exactly. Play along, or I’ll be an even bigger thorn in your side, yes I will *cooing now while looking down at Obi-Wan’s little face*

Council: *more fear*

"Qui-gon traumatised Obi-wan!!"

Bold of you to assume that Obi-wan Kenobi did not immediately turn around and traumatise him back. Obi-wan does not have daddymaster issues his master has padawan issues.

He returns from MelidaDaan with the power of being 14 (derogatory) and excessive weaponry on his side. Qui-gon's being called by the teachers cause his padawan is teaching the other kids how to make shivs and also unionise. He's sneaking off to the lower levels to hustle sabbac games in order to buy tiny blasters he can keep in his tunics and boots.

When Xantos breaks in to the temple Obi-wan tells him that it's frankly embarassing for him to have had Qui-gon Jinn of all people living rent free in his head for so many years.