Ra’s Comes To Gotham For His Heir. Mid-speech He Squints At Damian(Danny) And Goes ‘not My Heir?’

Absolutely. Bilbo is me.

Thorin: *passionate and dramatic* Why don't you tell me that you love me anymore? 

Bilbo: *calmly, without being distracted from watering the tomatoes* I said it once. If something changes, I'll let you know.

Geralt, pushing Jaskier behind him: The Bard meant no disrespect.

Jaskier, looking directly into a local lord’s eyes: No, I absolutely did.

Damian would shoot Tim twice, and beat the Joker to death with the gun for the fun of it.

Tim: Do you really hate me that much?

Damian: Me? Hate you? I don't hate you, Drake.

Damian: It's more like... If I had two bullets and we were in a room with other two people...

Damian: I would shoot you twice.

I might use this. Oh my god. I’m going to use this for my Damian and Tim time travel thing.

Red Hood comes back and everything's the same except Bruce doesn't realise that while Jason's still pissed at him, it's more of a familial feud than it is a genuine casting himself away from the family forever. Jason's under the impression that what's going on between him and B is just normal teenage rebellion- after all, Dick basically did the same shit when they were younger, he remembers sitting on top of the stairs and listening to the arguments, hell he remembers eating popcorn while stood in the middle of a couple of them. they're a family of fucked up vigilantes, it makes sense to him that their father-son brawls are just as dramatic as the rest of their lives.

after the rooftop showdown where Bruce saves the Joker he gets into the batmobile, slightly depressed that he has to go back home and tell Alfred that he failed oh so spectacularly at convincing Jason to come home and probably actually made things a 100% worse and oh god when he finds out about the batarang-

Red Hood opens the passenger door and gets into the car

Jason: jesus christ B are you THAT fucking stubborn? YOU ALMOST DECAPITATED ME WITH THAT THING

Bruce:

Jason: whatever. actually, don't fucking talk to me. I'm not continuing this until next patrol where trust me I WILL be shooting you in the neck.

Bruce: ...w-

Jason: CAN YOU HURRY UP AND FUCKING DRIVE ALREADY? Jesus it's fucking freezing out and the heater isn't even on!

Bruce has absolutely no fucking clue what's going on. He continues to stare in the very rare Batman Bafflement that only his kids have ever managed to get out of him.

Is Jason... coming home with him?

He's so shocked at the sudden turn of events, so scared of flinching slightly in the wrong direction and ruining whatever the fuck convinced his son to actually get in the car with him, that he decides in a moment of pure panic to not question it. He turns the car on, silently turns on the heater, and proceeds to white knuckle the steering wheel and stiffly drive back to the manor, terrified that even breathing too loud will disrupt the way the Red Hood is spitefully messing with the radio station until it's playing Bruce's least favourite station at a way-too-loud volume.

when they get home Jason flips Bruce off and goes straight to the kitchen, dishing himself up some food from the dinner table with a couple of casual greeting grunts as if everyone isn't staring at him in shock and awe. Bruce comes in behind him and shrugs helplessly. Dick's face has gone white, and he's clutching his glass so hard it's started to splinter in his hands. Tim's the only person who manages to get past it all, blinking up at Jason's massive hulking frame.

Tim: I thought you hated us now

Jason: *eating, gives a questioning hum*

Tim: you keep fighting with Batman

Jason: yeah, fuck batman. I'm so pissed at him right now

Bruce: h-

Jason: Shut the fuck up I'm still mad at you.

Jason, to Tim: it's family tradition to hate Bruce and strike out on your own. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed Alfie's impeccable cooking.

Tim:

Tim: ...you also tried to kill me

Jason: you replaced me as Robin. an attempt on your life is also family tradition. Dick tried to kill me a month after I took up the mantle

Tim:

Dick, so exasperated it breaks him out of his shock: oh come on, it was not a murder attempt-

Jason, slamming his fist on the table: I HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY AND YOU TRIED TO FEED ME A SNICKERS BAR!

Dick: FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T KNOW-

Bruce, desperate: boys-

Jason, whirling around: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO ME?

Bruce:

Jason: oh that reminds me. hey Alfred? guess what B did like twenty minutes ago.

Alfred: ..?

Bruce: Jaylad please-

Jason: he threw a batarang at my neck.

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: master Bruce-

Bruce quite honestly would have preferred it if Jason was a villain instead of a rebellious teen.

Damian refuses to do battle, he just had pokemon for the heck of it. Danny TRIES to stop his Pokémon from fighting. He fails every time and Damian is absolutely smitten with the other teenager whos actively trying to drag his tinkaton away from a fight.

Dead serious Pokemon AU

Danny and Damien keep running into each other because Danny has a tinkaton and Damien has a corviknight and Danny's tinkaton is on site with it every time Damian has it out of its pokeball

I just want people to see this. That’s it.

I'm so back in the flow for this au and I have the wonderful @hersheyotaku to thank for that, we've been snowballing so many fun ideas back and forth together in the last couple of days, it's been a blast!

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WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME WE COULD DO THAT?????

[tumblr] WHY DO YOU JUST HAVE THIS FEATURE LAYING AROUND

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Fucking lmao

I just watched @pastraspec 's video on Hello Nieghbor and this part made me laugh louder than necessary

Dick: the only reason I haven’t is because I fear for the doctors there.

Tim: oh please. I’m not the Joker.

Kon, suddenly in the middle of stopping a robot: he’s much worse.

Lex, confusion evident on his face: what?

Tim after saying something extremely worrying turns to Dick immediately after

Tim: Please don't put me in a mental hospital

Dick: I'm not gonna lie to you, I consider it sometimes

night night