— void state main resources
i’m gonna share what worked for me and will explain how to use these resources to help the people who can’t focus at all or are having a hard time with their void journey.
1. yoga nidra
what helped me the most in my first time, was a yoga nidra meditation. the intention of yoga nidra is helping your body to relax fully which helps a lot when you wanna enter the void. it’s best if you choose a yoga nidra guided meditation, the only thing you will have to do after the video finishes is affirm for the void and you will fall right there.
this is the meditation i use, it will help u at least in 90% of your process which is the relaxation point.
2. psych-k challenge
this method can be useful for entering and for manifesting in general, it’s one of the easiest challenges out there and it has been uploaded and explained here in tumblr.
read this guide about the challenge.
3. zoning out method
there is another mega easy way to help you, read this post
4. I AM
if you think your subconscious is reprogrammed enough, you can skip all these ways and jump to the traditional way of doing the challenge.
we already know how this works, lay down in a comfortable position. you can either count to 100 and backwards, do a breathing technique or anything that may help you with relaxation. once you’re relaxed enough, you’re gonna affirm things such as: “i am”, “i am pure consciousness” “i am the void” over and over. after some minutes in, you will feel floaty or your surroundings will start fading until you feel in extreme silence and quietness, that’s when you enter the void.
i hope this helps you all. again, these are the methods/ways that helped me enter at least 2 or 3 times in my whole journey.
i’m so maddd. while i was in class chan had his birthday live when i went to check it said HE ENDED IT 41 SECONDS AGO
i’m scrolling and i see a post about soft spoken bakugo. In my mind i’m like “omg this is gonna be so cute”. Next thing i know he’s calling me a slut and a whore while blowing my back out……
Absolutely no one:
Me: scripting a deep British accent on my s/o just cause even though my dr has nothing to do with British people.
when u decide to change something big about your dr after thinking about this dr for weeks >>>>>
tumblr recs🍓
i figured i would make a tumblr recs list since it will be a while till i make another ao3 one hehe
thanks for checking out my list :), i say this everytime but this is important: make sure to support the authors!
also sorry i haven’t made a recs list in a while! i’ve been burnt out from school lately and just didn’t think to make one 🥲
various x reader, unrequited love with the haikyuu boys, made me sad but part 2 fixes it all trust me, 🍓
tanaka x reader, comfort short, so sickingly sweet it hurts, this lil fic is perf for when ur sad and need some love, 🍓
various x reader, how they cope with ur death, this one’s for when you want some angst :/, 🍓
osamu x reader, exes to lovers, this one sorta reminds me of those hallmark movies where the girl leaves her small middle of no where hometown for the big city for work, and leaves behind her boyfriend who stays behind to have a small shop in their hometown, i literally adored this one pls read it, 🍓
sakusa x reader, strangers to friends to lovers, 1930s/1940s au, MILITARY MAN SAKUSA! this one was just… wow, never really have seen an au like this, not disappointed in the slightest, read it now, 🍓
kageyama x reader, childhood friends ish to lovers, love this one, makes you feel all mushy for kageyama :ppp, 🍓
iwaizumi x reader, fake dating trope, literally love this one, i’m such a simp for iwa, if you love fake dating + iwaizumi this is for you, 🍓
kita x reader, fic masterlist, arranged marriage au!, okay so i’m not a big fan of arranged marriage fics, but this… this was incredible. it was so well written and the build up between y/n and kita was so natural and not forced, it’s only three chapters but the chapters are very long! pls check out it was amazing, 🍓
bokuto x reader, oneshot from the story ‘The Ghosts we see’ which i have on one of my recs lists here 😚, i actually really enjoyed this one since i adore the fic it’s based on, for-warning, pretty smutty😉, 🍓
iwaizumi x reader, this is by augustine!! i love all of her works, they’re like a pick me up, iwaizumi literally gives you sm butterfly’s while reading, in short, 3 of the valentines days you’ve spent with iwaizumi :), 🍓
sakusa x reader, ENEMIES TO LOVERS ROYAL AU!!! guys. i passed out from pure joy when i discovered this story. three of my favorite things in one fic: haikyuu, enemies to lovers, and royal aus. such a pleasure to read. trust me on this one and read it rn!!! 🍓
ushijima x reader, ushijima comfort ushijima comfort ushijima comfort ushijima comfort!! if you know me you know i love this man. so when i see beautiful comfort fics about my fav?? i lose it. 10/10 made me happy when i was sad. 🍓
akaashi x reader, angst. so much angst. it’s actually not really angsty with akaashi but with his current girlfriend (lil spoiler: she’s a fucking cunt). but the ending is so rewarding after reading it. it’s also by demxnsxcous which if you haven’t been to her page then go immediately after reading. have never read one bad work of theirs. 🍓
ushijima x reader, r-royal au, royal au!!!! king ushijima 🥴, i love this man. and this man as your protective king husband is more than i could ever ask for. this story gives me butterfly’s when he’s being protective hehe, 🍓
suna x reader, KNIGHT SUNA AND PRINCESS READER!!!! i think you guys can tell of my everlasting love for royal aus. this link will take you to the masterlist for this little miniseries. i really love this one. the relationship with reader and suna makes you so happy and sad. happy because seeing how happy they are and how much they love each other makes your day. but sad because they can never really be together becuase of social and class standards. 🍓
iwaizumi x reader, i LOVE this one. it’s about a rich girl going off on her own and leaving her old life behind. and guess which tough bad boy she meets? mhm. it’s not done yet but i’m so excited for the next chapter, i’m on the taglist and everything ;)) 🍓
osamu x reader, fake dating, friends to lovers <333 this one only has 2 chapters out so far but i just know this one’s gonna be good. i cant wait for more and more chapters to come out and for this story to develop. i’m already in love with half the characters. adore this so far. 🍓
hinata x reader. i actually barley if ever read hinata fics. this one’s timeskip and i was pleasantly surprised. it’s such a satisfying read. i very much enjoyed it. the ending is also very sweet;) 🍓
kuroo x reader, angel reader and demon kuroo, half modern/half magic au. read this one a little while back, loved it. lot of smut hehe. definitely a guilty pleasure. the ending made me smile since it perfectly ended the game of cat and mouse kuroo and the reader were playing. 🍓
semi x reader, rockstar semi eita… much i say more? exes to lovers. oh my god. i remember when i read this for the first time, i could not stop reading it. i re read this over and over again. i don’t really wanna give too much away, but i’ll finish off with this: fuck semi eita ;)) 🍓
you guys i was in class zoning out and I thought of something crazy. I was thinking about permashifting and how i might just do it and erase my memories of this dr and then i got to thinking… What if this isn’t my og dr and i permashifted here and scripted all of this struggle finding out how to shift to build character. Yea my life isn’t that great but what if it’s what the og esme wanted at the time. Maybe I scripted i would find out like this too. I’m literally tripping out and now idk what to do.
this is the cutest thing ever
✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ FIRST KISS — GOJO SATORU.
contents. fluff + mutual pining if you squint, it’s literally just you being satoru’s first kiss <3, he’s just a loser boy beneath all his facades !!
it’s summer the first time you kiss satoru. his lips taste like the lingering sweetness of kikufuku. the cicadas are calling, and the sun finds every crevice of your skin to hug.
it’s hot outside—but you don’t mind the heat so much when it’s the fan of satoru’s breath against your skin. you can feel his hands tremble as they finds your hips. hesitant, you note as he pauses a moment before finally letting them rest against you.
“you’re eager, sweetheart,” he hums—because satoru, even dazed from the taste of you, is still persistently himself. large hands are gently cradling the curves of your waist—he’s warm there too, where he holds you and pulls you closer to his chest. he grins when you press a kiss to his jaw, rubbing circles into your hip with his thumb.
“it doesn’t feel like you’re kissing me while held at gunpoint either, gojo,” you roll your eyes. your hand cups his face, thumb tracing over the swell of his cheek gently.
gojo—his lips, rosy and just a bit swollen, pout at the use of his surname. surely, now that you’ve stolen the innocence of his lips, you can spare him a bit more than that. surely, the intimacy of his given name doesn’t outweigh the intimacy of exchanging breath.
satoru—he imagines the way the name would sound from you, carefully whispered like a secret. everything you do is careful, he’s noticed, everything about you is thoughtful and soft.
more than anything, you’re careful in the way you touch him. you’re delicate in the way you let yourself explore his skin, like he’s fragile and easy to hurt. like all he’s ever known is pain. it’s ironic—someone like satoru should know very little about pain, should never feel the devastating blows at its hands when infinity leaves more than enough room for him to remain untouched.
but you’re funny like that; take him by surprise as you carve out the slant of his cheekbone with your thumb slowly enough that you might almost think your touch is enough to slice the skin.
it’s nice, he thinks distantly, being handled with care is nice. it’s not something this world affords so easily.
“this your first kiss?” he asks shamelessly, throwing you that lopsided grin of his.
am i your first? is what he means to ask. what he wants to ask. what he aches to ask.
is he your first? or are you only his? has anyone else tasted the strawberry of your chapstick? was it a different flavor before it was ever strawberry? satoru hopes he’s the only one to ever explore the flavors your lips might come in—maybe you’ll try cherry next. he’d like that.
“it’s certainly your first kiss,” you giggle, thumb moving down to trace his bottom lip, “i can feel you trembling, y’know.”
not many people catch gojo satoru embarrassed—you do, though. that enough should make you feel like god, perhaps. who else is powerful enough to feel the strongest quake? who else feels the quivers of his hands and the uncertain hesitance under his touch?
no one but you—and you’d like to keep it that way.
his face flushes a little, against his control. even gojo satoru is not above the rush of blood rising to his cheeks, even he cannot stop the hue of color that paints across his face. he’s human, after all—and he deserves to be treated as such: with the fragility of being human.
“no it’s not,” he scoffs, “i’ve kissed plenty.”
“yeah?” you chuckle, admiring the rosiness of his flesh, “name one person.”
“i don’t recall anyone’s name,” he shrugs, hands still making sure to keep you painfully close. if you pull away, satoru thinks he might die—thinks he might never recover from the aftershocks of such devastation. “no one was ever worthwhile enough to remember.”
he’s too much sometimes—but never less than enough. you snort, huffing out a small laugh that rings in his ears and makes him gulp.
perfect—you sound and look and feel and taste perfect. gojo satoru is the strongest, but is he deserving of the one thing this earth has that’s devoid of flaws? he’s not so sure. but he can try to be worthy, and perhaps that’s enough.
“well, then tell me, gojo,” you murmur, gently slipping the bandages from his forehead to fall to his neck. he’s only recently left the sunglasses behind—you like him better this way. you can see the outline of his features better, even if you do miss his eyes.
“hm?” he quirks a brow, breath almost hitching when his eyes meet yours—since when have you looked at him like that? since when have your pupils housed so much affection for him? have you always done so, and he’s never noticed?
it would be a crime to not have noticed before this, he thinks, a cruel and terrible reality of missing every soft and affectionate gaze.
“will i be long forgotten after this kiss? or has this one finally caught your attention?”
there is no prior kiss to compare yours too—but there never needs to be one after, either. this is the best kiss he’ll ever have, the only kiss he wants to have. no one will ever feel like you, he’s sure of it. no one will ever make him feel what you do, and even infinity is something that cannot protect him from the risks.
but satoru is not scared, not of you—and never with you.
so he grins, tapping his chin in thought as he hums, “give me another, and i’ll decide.”
you scoff in disbelief—amused, if anything, before shaking your head. he can’t help the chuckle that escapes him.
“you never change, gojo,” you say fondly, “do you know that?”
“say satoru,” he says quietly. it’s almost a plead—it sounds like a plead.
you smile. it’s an innocent little thing, untouched by the cruelties of life—or maybe it has, and you still find a reason to stay pure. maybe it’s the latter, he realizes, maybe you’re just resilient enough to remain unwavering in the way you love so unapologetically.
“come here, satoru,” you whisper, gently pulling his face closer as you hold his cheeks.
desperately, he needs to taste his name rolling off your tongue—so he comes closer, bridging the gap and kissing you again. and again—and he can’t find it in him to stop.
the same day satoru has his first kiss, you call him by his first name. it’s summer. the flowers smell sweet as the cicadas call, and you put the sun’s heat to shame.
he’ll always stay warm wrapped in you.
tbh this was supposed to be y’all fucking for the first time but then it just turned into this. alas, we prevail
i am absolutely in love with ur writing AND with gepard landau,, can i request a first kiss fic for him? i read your kiss the girl fic for dan heng and ITS SO GOOD!! tysm in advance, take care of yourself!
summary ⎯ gepard knows he can't keep these feelings to himself. gepard also knows that he can never tell you about how he feels. so, he goes to the person he tells all his secrets to: serval. serval, who told pela. pela, who is determined to set you two up. and doing so, entails a bookish adventure for you to enjoy.
tana's words ⎯ i too am in love with gepard. i feel u anon. also thank u for the kind words!
tags ⎯ matchmaking (serval and pela). first kiss. pining (this should be expected). bookish!reader. bookstore owner!reader. oblivious idiots.
IT’S EXTREMELY SURPRISING TO HEAR GEPARD frantically knocking on the doors of nevermore workshop, so serval obviously had to open the doors for him.
when he entered, gepard immediately shut the doors as if he was being followed. the expression on his face was dire; he looked as if he was chased by wolves and he was being hunted down.
“gepard?” serval asked, concern dripping in her tone, “what the hell happened?”
“serval,” gepard panted. serval was getting worried; this was all irregular behavior coming from gepard, “i need help.”
gepard never asked for help. he is one of the most self-sufficient and stubborn people serval knows. he would rather stare death in the face instead of asking someone for help.
“what is it?” serval rushed by his side, “whatever you need, i got you.”
“i think i have feelings for,” gepard sighed, palm dragging across his face, “the owner of the bookstore,” he finishes quietly.
serval’s jaw dropped. it wasn’t because of the declaration of gepard’s crush. it was that he made it sound so dramatic. serval thought that he was being tracked down and was about to be sent to the madhouse.
“are you serious!” serval shoved gepard, “i thought you were about to die or something!”
gepard recoiled at serval’s shove; his sister was stronger than most people thought, “it feels like i am! every time i’m around them my heart rate quickens so much that i think i’m about to have a heart attack. i get all nervous on the inside and i can barely think with them beside me.”
aeons, gepard has definitely fallen in love with you.
“wait⎯so, where are you gonna go from here?” serval leaned on the counter, trying to process all the words her brother confessed.
“that’s the thing,” gepard sighed again. he sounded like a lovesick puppy, “i don’t know. that’s why i came here, i thought you’d be able to help.”
“um. you are aware of my past relationship with cocolia, right? i think i’m like the least qualified person you should be asking romance advice from,” serval pointed out.
“i don’t know who else i could tell,” gepard ran a hand through his hair. this was really stressing him out.
“how about you just… tell them?” serval suggested.
“no!!” gepard shook his head distraughtly, “i can’t do that. what if they don’t feel the same?”
“then it’s not meant to be,” serval said, “simple as that.”
“but it’s not,” gepard whined. serval thought he was making this a lot more complicated than it needed to be. when she was his age, she confessed her feelings to cocolia like it was nothing. they were happy until the break up anyway.
but then it donned on serval. gepard had little to no relationship experience. the only “experience” serval remembers him having was when they were children: his friend had a crush on him and tried to confessed, but gepard rejected her.
that’s why gepard was so distressed. he had no idea how to go on with this. these feelings for you? all new. what he missed out as a teenager, he is now getting as an adult.
“tell you what,” serval wrapped her arm around her brother’s shoulder, “i’ll get this sorted out. trust me. yn will never know about this,” she reassured him.
“you just go along with your guardly duties. i’ll help you,” serval grinned. she knew that she had the perfect plan. except, she couldn’t do it alone.
pela already knew about your crush on the silvermane guard captain. every time he greeted the two of you at the book store, pela practically saw the hearts in your eyes. it was sickening and disgusting, but it was cute too.
what pela didn’t know, however, was that gepard has a crush on you as well.
serval came to pela just a few minutes after gepard’s confession. she knew that she probably shouldn’t have told pela right after the conversation happened, but serval didn’t know how else to console gepard.
“so… you’re telling me that they both like each other?!” serval slammed her hands on the counter. “and they’re both too scared to confess!?”
“that’s exactly what i said, yes,” pela monotonously replied.
you knew that there couldn’t be anything between you and gepard. it was highly improbable that you, a bookstore owner, would be able to gain the captain of the silvermane guard’s interest. it seemed like something straight out of a fictional (key word: fictional) romance novel.
so you appreciated his friendship while he was around. sometimes, as a way to become closer to the captain, you’d suggest different books to him every week. despite being on the front lines quite often, he always comes back to see you. well, he comes back for the books anyway.
serval groaned into her hands, “so what do we do? they both like each other but they literally can’t bear to admit it.”
pela smirked. she’s read enough romance novels to figure out what to do next.
“two words, serval,” pela smirked, “grand. gesture.”
gepard took a few deep breaths before approaching your book store. after his chat with serval, he's been distressed the entire day. he had these feelings for you storming all over his body; occasionally, they'd get so strong that it would feel like those feelings would overtake him.
he opened the door, book in hand, and greeted you formally. gepard couldn't help it: he was so nervous, he wasn't able to function straight.
"hello, captain gepard," you turned around. you were on a latter stacking books on top of bookshelves. originally, you thought it would be cool to have towering shelves, however you quickly learned that it was extremely impractical and difficult.
"i told you," gepard stood near the counter, refusing to slouch in your presence, "you can call me gepard."
"and i told you," you grunted, trying to reach a higher spot on a shelf, "to drop the formalities," you grinned to yourself.
gepard noticed your (potentially) perilous situation and quickly got near the end of the latter. in the case that you fall, at least gepard would be there to catch you.
fortunately, you made your way down the tall latter peacefully. as you descended, the sight of gepard holding down the latter for you made you flush. it was the bare minimum, but it still made your heart speed up.
when he reached out his hand to guide you down (it was out of instinct), you gave him a warm smile. it looked easy on the outside, but you were burning up on the inside. similarly, gepard had the same reaction. for you, he'd do anything.
"thank you," you held onto his hand for a little longer. once you realized what you were doing you quickly recoiled your hand away and apologized. gepard wished your hand was still entwined with his; he wanted to hold onto to the feeling of your hand in his. gepard wanted to trace patterns on your hands, wanted to feel every part of them.
as an attempt to dissipate the tension (it was making you nervous), you decided to ask gepard for help. "we had a busy day yesterday. a best seller recently came out; people were storming the shelves. good for my profit but not good for my sanity," you let out an airy laugh, "would you mind helping me clean up?"
realizing what you just did (asking the captain of the silvermane guards for help) you quickly added, "unless you're busy! then i'll be okay. you can leave. i'll be fine," you rambled.
gepard parted his lips, almost as if he was about to say something. how could you ever think he wouldn't make time for you? even so, he'd deploy a few other guards if you needed help. he'd make sure your needs were met as soon as possible.
he reached his arm out; his hands were close to your collarbone. then he reached back, scared of what would happen next. how silly. the captain of the silvermane guards was not scared of no monster, but of rejection of the one he likes.
"i'll stay for anything," gepard blurted. you were taken aback for a second, but then once you realized what he had just said, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and covertly pinched yourself to make sure that whatever was happening was not a dream.
gepard didn't intend to add, "anything," to his sentence. but his mind was thinking it, and then it just accidentally came out. he meant what he said though. if the bluntness of his voice didn't show his sincerity, the blush that was slowly grazing his face probably did.
"thank you, gepard," you bit the inside of your lip to keep yourself from beaming too hard. you had to turn away from the captain once again, for your smile at his words would be too embarrassing to show. how silly of you to act so giddy and childish at one simple word.
gepard thinks he could hear you say his name a million times, and he would never get bored. he wants to hear his name on your lips as if it were a mantra; you've said his name a few times before, and each time he swears he gets more and more addicted to the sound.
"how about i start on the right and you'll start on the left. that way, we'll both finish in the middle!" you clapped your hands together. you gave gepard a reassuring smile.
you two started on opposite sides, but how gepard wished that you two would be closer. however, there are positives to this situation. gepard can brainstorm ideas for the "grand gesture" pela and serval texted him about.
gepard already had ideas in mind. he just needed to figure out the material for them. he obviously will not tear out papers from a book; that will cause more harm than good (for you and gepard; he cares about books).
while gepard was planning, you were blushing. you still couldn't believe he actually stayed with you. surely, there are more important deeds than helping out a leisurely bookstore owner. and this was the most boring task ever: organizing books. yet, gepard was still here. and he was only a few feet away from you.
you turned back to observe gepard; you wanted to see if you had trapped him in a boring task or not. to your surprise, gepard seemed to be enjoying this. he would flip through pages of various books, spend time reading the summaries; gepard would even go as far to reading the first few pages of some books.
gepard liked to read. at first, he started coming to the bookstore to fetch some books for pela. however, after he met you, he began to adopt a newfound interest in books that he never had before. he read some of pela's books, discovered that he did not like them, and went to browse for more. that's when you came up. you thought you had talked his entire ear off that entire morning; you went on and on and on about what kind of books he would like.
you tried to ignore him afterwards; you even offered the books for free because you were so embarrassed. but gepard kept coming back. your recommendations impressed him: gepard had never met anyone who was so meticulous at their craft. and he loved hearing you talk. he loved your rambles, your rants, your reviews. maybe that was the first sign.
gepard caught your gaze as he turned around. he had the same motivation as you: he wanted to see how you were faring in this task. did you miss the proximity you had before? are you flustered as well? do you like him too?
you two were both staring at each other, thoughts racing, until you shouted, "see something you like?" to break the tension.
gepard thought the question was a taunt at first; similar to asking, "like what you see?"
"no!" he abruptly shouted, trying to hide the fact that he was just staring at you. and then he realized the real meaning of your question: he was browsing the books with such intensity. the truth was, he was trying to find your favorite books. you've informed him about them before, always on your bookish rants. he was going to use them for his gesture later on.
thinking that he now looks like an idiot, gepard tries to save himself by shouting back, "i mean⎯ yes! i do. these books are nice," he tried to cover up.
you seemed not to register his mistake, as you tell him, "whatever you want, it's on the house. for your work today. it'll be on the house for life!" you put some books on some shelves and move closer to the middle.
gepard shook his head and chuckled, "you've always given books to me for free." he put some books back and continued around the room.
"are you complaining?" you raised an eyebrow, "what if i just kept a tab on you this entire time? and you never knew?" more books get put away.
"then i'd rightfully pay you back," gepard wholeheartedly responded, "or i'd arrest you," he joked.
you mock-gasped, "for what?" you're getting closer to the middle now.
stealing my heart, the intrusive part of gepard's mind thought. he'd been hanging out with serval too much; he would never say that. gepard internally cringed.
"false advertising," he moved closer to the middle, “i don't know," he smiled to himself. gepard doesn't think he would have the heart to arrest you.
you blushed at hearing the captain lost on amendments. the captain wouldn't know how to arrest you. is this flirting? or are you reading too much into it?
you don't know if the heat on the back of your neck is from gepard's words or the sun shining so brightly on the back of your neck. you stack some more books on shelves; you've now reached the middle. you're having trouble reaching one of the shelves, but you're too lost in your thoughts to even think about that.
in fact, you're too lost in your thoughts that you don't even notice the warmth disappear from the back of your neck. your cheeks are still warm, so you are still blushing. your struggles with the tall bookshelf are lost when you feel a hand over yours.
"i'll take that," gepard quietly mumbles. it's so quiet that you didn't hear it at first.
on instinct, you turn towards him. when you looked at the position the both of you were in, you noticed that you were caged against him. you were caged against the captain of the silvermane guards. against a bookshelf.
gepard towered over you. his body was centimeters closer to fully pressing on you. his breath was fanning on your face. you could see every detail of his face from your view from below. your hands were so close to grazing his chest, so you immediately slapped them to your sides. you gulp, you start to breath quicker, and you feel like you're about to combust.
you swallowed, trying not to move. you were frozen in place as you tried not to disturb gepard. you gaped at him as he was working to organize the books, not noticing the position the two of you were in.
when gepard finished, he gave a sigh of relief. he underestimated your job: if you had to do this every day, you were probably stronger than some of his soldiers. when he opened his eyes, he was greeted by your wide eyes staring right into his.
he was breath-taken by your beauty. the look in your eyes as you look into his was captivating. gepard needed it framed. the way your lips parted made him go feral; his heart stuttered with every second he looked at you.
his arm was pinned above your head. your bodies were so close that you kept focusing on the rise and fall of gepard’s chest. the way his expression scanned yours made you want to quiver against him.
you said the first sentence, “hard work?” your tone was breathless. you were still trying to catch your breath.
“yeah,” he sighed, still not noticing the way your bodies curved into each other, “hard work.”
“did i waste your time?” you whispered. it was quiet, like you were ashamed of your actions. you looked down at his chest rather than his face.
“no,” gepard leaned in, trying to hear your voice one more time. he tilted your head up slightly with his fingers so you could look at him, “you’d never.”
silence crippled the room. it was just you and gepard, the two of you leaning oh-so-close together that your lips were nearly about to touch. a part of you wanted to lean into him; you wanted to pull him closer and closer until you were both out of breath.
but that was delusional. that was something straight out of romance novels, and your life was anything but.
gepard leaned in closer on purpose. he gave into temptation and wanted to feel your lips on his. he wanted to grab you by the waist and pull you so tightly into him. he wanted this: he wanted your kiss, he wanted your insight, he wanted you.
but with gepard, want is not something one could have. especially one like him.
“i’m sorry,” he abruptly let go, “i’m⎯i think, i have something i need to do,” he took a few steps back away from you, leaving about three feet in distance. quite the opposite from how you two were positioned a few seconds ago.
“oh,” you let go immediately. “i’m sorry! i didn’t know,” you quickly ran to the other side of the room. you wanted to hide from embarrassment.
“not your fault!” gepard shouted as he headed for the exit, “goodbye mx yn!”
you didn’t bother to say goodbye as you slammed the door shut after he left. what just happened was mortifying. the position you two were in? the way you two gradually leaned closer to each other? no wonder he ran away, you thought, you must’ve scared him off.
oh, if only you knew how wrong you were.
you didn't see gepard for a week after the incident. he hadn't come into the bookstore at all the entire week. however, that also could've been your fault: you've been in and out of the bookstore for the past week. if you faced gepard after the incident (you've dubbed), you'd probably apologize and beg for forgiveness.
but still, wouldn't he come in and leave a note? wouldn't he at least stop by once? did you scare him off that badly? the more you thought about it, the more you thought about becoming a hermit.
you'd thought you terrified him and ruined your friendship (and any future hope of a relationship) until flowers appeared on the counter of the bookstore. your assistant refused to let you know who they were from.
you bent down and eyed the pot of flowers sitting on the counter. they were your favorite color: pink. you had to admit, they were gorgeous. they looked well grown, as if these were from a master gardener. the flowers bloomed perfectly, each petal reaching out for the sun.
the message of the flowers also intrigued you. begonias are the flowers that symbolizes knowledge and deep thoughts. whoever gifted these to you must have been very observant or they wanted to be your intern.
"did someone come by asking to be my intern?" you stood up and put your hands on your hips. your lip twisted in thought. you were a bit preoccupied at the moment; the bookstore was getting exceptionally busy and (with your whole gepard crisis going on) you didn't think you were fit to be a mentor at the moment.
"no," your assistant shook her head. you leaned back on the counter, wondering why (and who) would gift you flowers on such a strange day. you already knew it wasn't gepard, due to the awkward tension surrounding the both of you right now, so you had a big list to narrow down.
"but," your assistant continued, "someone dropped off this letter with the flowers. they told me to give it to you after you saw the flowers," your assistant handed you the letter.
it was very formal, the letter. it's envelope was very extravagant, fit for someone with high standards. the stamp was still warm, meaning that this letter had been written recently. you tore open the envelope to reveal it's contents.
yn,
please do me the honor of accompanying me to everwinter cafe tonight. i would really appreciate seeing you there.
gl
"g.l." you paused, "as in green lantern?!" you asked your assistant, wide eyes and all. "who is trying to cosplay as a superhero to talk to me? this is insane. did i owe someone a book or something? charged them extra?" you panicked.
your assistant frowned at your idiocy. who else could 'gl' entail to besides gepard landau? "what if it's the captain," your assistant urged on, nudging your shoulder.
"it couldn't be the captain," you jolted. does your assistant know? "we barely even talk," you try to reason.
"he comes in here nearly every day," your assistant counters, "if not every day, be it every other day," they sighed.
"he just comes in to look at books," you placed the flowers in a safe space in the shelves. "we don't converse as often as you think."
"you talk every day," you assistant drags on. "you're telling me that the two of you have no relations whatsoever?"
"we⎯it's complicated," you sighed, "long story short, it could never be the captain," you looked down at the plant. even if it was gepard, what was he doing? sending anonymous flowers? cryptic notes? why couldn't he just talk to you?
"you should go," your assistant encouraged, "you never know. it could be the captain or it could be another potential secret admirer."
"you think?" you raised an eyebrow. your assistant nodded in response.
you looked at the flowers one more time. though you wished it was gepard who sent them, you knew it was probably someone else trying to flatter you into taking them in as an intern. but as you stared at the begonias, no other thoughts beside gepard consumed your mind
it was late when you walked to everwinter cafe. tonight was not a particularly chilly night, but belobog's slight chill was ever present.
you walked around aimlessly, trying to walk slowly so you can prolong the sight of your "intern." you tried to focus on other things as you walked past, such as the plants and heaters surrounding the city. it's wondrous how things such as plants are still able to flourish in times like these.
as you viewed your surroundings, you saw a note placed on a lamppost close to the cafe. it read, "'i know you're working. i wanted to be somewhere...' safe? familiar? comfortable? 'near you.'
you automatically knew which book that quote was from. book lovers by emily henry. it was your favorite romance book; you've raved about it many times with gepard.
as you continued, you saw another note, "'if you saw yourself the way other people see you, you'd never doubt again.' 'how do people see me?' 'like you're the most beautiful, most remarkable, thing they've ever seen."
you must admit, you blushed a little bit while internally reading that. the only reason you blushed was that because you discussed that quote with gepard. you were talking about the 'twisted' series and how it had it's pros and cons with gepard, and this quote was one of the pros.
another read, "'who are they? the best part of my day.'"
another, "books she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives."
and the last, "'favorite word?' 'you.'"
you quickly noticed that these were all quotes from your favorite books. these are books you've only discussed and rambled about with one person: gepard. you'd never thought he would've actually read these books. let alone, you'd never thought gepard would also quote them.
with slightly more hope than before, you ran up to everwinter cafe.
"did you get my message?" gepard stood tall in front of you. you couldn't look into his eyes and it was killing him.
"your letter? yes, i did. and your flowers too. they were beautiful," you rocked back and forth on your heels.
"thank you, i grew them myself," he gave you a soft smile. you wanted to talk about how he managed to even grow such beautiful flowers, but how could you talk to him if you couldn't even look at him in the eyes? "but, did you get my message?"
you looked down at the many notes in your hand. it turns out gepard had left notes after all, "oh yes. i did," you blushed at the obvious context of the quotes. "all my favorite books."
"yeah," gepard spoke breathlessly, as if all of his air had run out after he started speaking to you, "but did you get my message?" he looked at your face for any type of indication: whether you liked him back, hated him, or had no strong feelings towards him. his eyes darted throughout your face, and the sight made you slightly flustered. he was leaning over you, and you thought you saw his eyes graze over your lips.
then it donned on you. the flowers. the letter. the sneaking out at night. the romantic context of all the quotes. the way all the quotes were from your favorite books that you've only talked about with him. the way gepard has admired and remembered every single thing about you. your stomach dropped as you realized gepard had been feeling the same things you have felt for him this entire time. your heart pounded in your chest as you finally met his eyes in the pale moonlight.
"yes," you swiftly exhaled. it was like all your hidden feelings for gepard were compacted in your chest, and when you finally breathed, they were all let out. it was like all your troubles were leaving you, "i did."
"and..." gepard trailed off, now failing to meet you in the eyes. he was terrified of your rejection; your opinion was one of the things that mattered most to him. before, he regarded it was his passion for the people, but now he recognizes that he was just passionate for you. "did you like it?"
"i loved it," you smiled; it wasn't just a soft smile this time, like the ones you've always given him. it was a big smile: loud and talkative, much like you. one smile could convey so much.
but you still had thoughts, "i didn't need all of this though," you grabbed his hand for reassurance. you were in range of his lips. you could close the gap right now.
gepard froze; your words and your touch made him tense. he was finally able to look you in the eye, having prepared himself for iminent rejection and was ready to leave. whatever you needed, he would do.
"what do you need?" gepard asked frantically. "whatever you need, i will give it to you. whether it be space or never seeing me again."
what you needed? you needed his thoughts, his opinions, his reassurance. you needed his touch on a cold night, you needed his arm around you when you were cold, you needed to feel him beside you on nights similar to this. you needed everything that he was.
"i need you," you whispered up on his lips. "right now."
and gepard swore the entirety of everwinter city heard his heart drop to the ground. he was sure that you could feel his heart pounding in his chest after you said those five words. only five words, yet gepard felt like he was going insane. he was going insane for you: your touch, your mind, your words, your entirety.
gepard removed his hand from yours for just one second, using it to tip your chin up so you could be in his view. in the pale moonlight, you were gorgeous. to be fair, you were always gorgeous, but something about tonight extenuated your beauty.
"can i⎯"
"don't even ask," you cut him off, leaning into him.
the kiss was soft and sweet at first. the feeling of your lips pressed onto his was heavenly: gepard felt ten times stronger with you than with anything else. it was gentle and tender.
but when you tugged your arms around his neck, all restraint went out the window.
gepard moved his hand from your chin to your waist, pulling you closer into him. it was bold for his first kiss, but who could blame him when you're holding onto to him so tightly?
you threaded your hands through his hair as he kissed you feverishly. his hands on your waist made you want to combust into him. you were standing on your toes at this point; if you tried to stand any taller, gepard was about to lift you up into the air.
when you finally stopped to breath, all that was left in the air was your love and the light from the sky.
"was i your first kiss?" you asked him coyly, arms still wrapped around his neck.
gepard blushed and you immediately knew his answer to your question. you stood up one more time to give him one more quick kiss.
yes, you were his first kiss. and gepard wished for more to come.
i need a week off after this fic i swear to god
HOW I USED TO VIEW VOID BEFORE I ENTERED
Before I entered it, I viewed the void as the ultimate state of oneness with the universe. I viewed it as the place where I could finally be free from all suffering and limitation. It was a place where I could be at peace and experience the ultimate reality. I also viewed it as a place that was beyond anything I could imagine or describe. It was the place I was drawn to and wanted to experience more than anything else in the world. It was where I knew I could find the ultimate truth and the ultimate peace and bliss.
I was never a fond of it, I just and wanted to feel it, experience it by myself. I don't understand why it's so hyped up after all.
HOW I TAPPED IN
I tapped in by listening to my subliminal. Before putting on the sub I did a special, ancient breathing technique :
Bhastrika or the bellows breath
For this you have to Close the right nostril and inhale twenty rapid bellows-like breaths through the left nostril. Repeat with twenty more bellows breaths through the right nostril while keeping the left nostril closed. Proceed to take twenty bellows breaths through both nostrils. This method helps the body and mind to clear out mental, emotional and physical blocks.
After doing this, I put on my subliminal and a blind fold on my eyes and imagined myself walking inside my own mind and it's getting darker and darker as I get deeper into it, exactly like Eleven did in Stranger Things. Okay, so doing this made me super duperr relaxed which got me slept and when I woke up I knew that I made it! and NO, my void was not pitch dark, I don't know but for some reason it was white, pure white. I felt like I'm directly looking into a bulb you know :)
MY EXPERIENCE WITH IT
My void experience was a feeling of emptiness and peace. Not a single thing was there in the void other than my consciousness. I felt completely liberated and at ease when I was in the void. My thoughts were dead silent and I was just being. I felt a deep sense of connection to the universe and a knowing that all is well. It was a feeling of emptiness and unity at the same time. Everything that is, is within me. It can not be described because it is beyond any description. No words and no labels can truly define or grasp the eternal silence of the void. The void I experienced was full of utter peace and stillness. It was the complete lack of self-consciousness and the total realization of eternity. It was pure, uninterrupted consciousness. It was a place of pure awareness and complete freedom from all attachments and desires. It was a place of absolute silence and the absence of all thought and emotion. It was a place of complete and utter bliss and nothingness at the same time. I felt a deep sense of timelessness and immortality. I felt like I was in my purest form. I felt like I was in a state of total nirvana and perfect happiness. It was like being in a state of pure bliss and complete oneness with the universe. I felt connected to everything and everyone, and it was the most pure and peaceful experience I've ever had. However I have entered the void twice but snapped out on incident within seconds. Staying in the void for hours is totally different :)
MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE VOID IS JUST UNDESCRIBABLE 🤍
I really don't know how to put it into words
I just feel COMPLETED now !
WHAT I MANIFESTED
No, I didn't manifest anything in the void. Manifesting something through the void was never my intention because I already have manifested almost everything just by listening to my subliminals and I love listening to them. But if in future if I'll manifest anything in the void, I'll update y'all about it for sure with pictures.
Believe me or not the void is unnecessarily so hyped up in this community, it's so easy to access it. Now with my experience with it I know how I can be helpful to y'all in regards of accessing the void state.
I know people will ask me for the subliminal that I listened to, so first of all I made it myself, because few days back while I was on my journey to entering the void I listened to a subliminal, which made everything worse, I knew that the subliminal maker has used some bad spells in it, so I made my own sub. No wonders tho because earlier I used to make subliminals for myself and they did worked for me and I manifested a lot of things but I was so lazy that I stopped making them :)
But as I really wanted to experience the void within myself, I decided to work a Lil hard and make a sub for myself and after researching deeply on how I can make subliminal work faster, I managed to made it myself.
I have posted it on my YouTube channel but remember my sub will not work for those who have bad intentions! ThankYou.
Here's the video :
Enter the void in the blink of an eye : Use w/ caution
Make sure to hit the subscribe button because I'll be uploading more such subliminals ! 🤍
I’ll probably change my account designs more than once because I like different styles :b
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