Where Do I Bury The Fragments Of My Heart That Reminds Me Of You?

I love him,

In the late hours of the night.

When the silence around starts to feel like home,

I love him.

When the dawn approaches in the horizon,

looking so hazy and confused,

I love him.

The slow call of the nightingale breaks my train of thoughts about him.

But still, I continue to love him.

He exists in the abandoned corners of my mind.

And he is there, always smiling when I close my eyes.

The silhouettes made by the moonlit night,

somehow ends up looking like him.

And when I trace my fingers across the shadows formed,

I love him.

For some reason, he seems to be everywhere I look.

And for some reason, I always love him, every single time.

I love him,

like the favourite quote of mine stuck in my head.

I love him,

like the soft melody of the first rain.

I love him,

like he had loved me.

In darkness and in silence.

But never in each other's presence.

There is no escape.

You can't run away from your mind.

From how you look and who you are.

But like the sky, you will never be blue all the time.

Like the sky, there are colours in you that are beautiful.

You have your own winters and springs,

Your own dawn and dusk.

Stars in your laugh and moonlight in your eyes.

Like the sky, you're the comfort to someone somewhere.

This is the moment you have to realise, being you is fine.

Because like the sky, you hold so much beauty and comfort.

Memories of a thousand moments,

All dance in the late afternoon sunlight.

Like the final touch to the awaited painting,

They shimmer beneath my eyes.

In that moment it feels like time never passed,

Like there's a forever in between my lips and the teacup.

But like an ever flowing river,

the memories come and go,

one by one.

A sad reminder that time never promises.

And all that you feel will last a lifetime,

will be gone in the blink of an eye.

And now I sit on the floor,

surrounded by the rare November warmth.

But I miss yours.

I miss your hand and the soft touches it leaves behind.

And all I now have are the ghosts of your palm,

and the coldness of the paintings that they left behind.

An ache deeper than any ocean runs through me,

and it sadly whispers promises of a forever.

I know they won't be broken this time.

Because I've always known that you were the one.

I don't know what to do with all this love in my heart now, because it was all for your and now that you've made it clear that you don't need my affection, I find it difficult to keep these feelings in the same place for fear that they may get mixed up again and instead of letting go I'll accidentally hold onto you forever.

Like phases of the moon, I change the way I see the world. Sometimes it's too much yellow, all bright and beautiful and like the scenes from a ballroom.

And sometimes it's a tired white. With no life left in me to fight. I can feel the sighs of the earth. We share our tears, and I feel safe in her arms.

Every now and then it's green. Fresh and alive, looking like a newly bloomed daffodil. It brings back memories of past summers. A carefree world with a golden undertone.

I also see red sometimes. Like the scream of a banshee and the pain in their eyes. It reminds me of my first heartbreak. Drunk and hurting with heavy eyes, but a heavier heart.

But today all I see is grey. Like the monotonous susurration of the rain, it's killing me slowly, burying me alive. Seeping into me like I am a sponge.

This is why I hate gloomy rainy days.

It feels like I am half dead, but half alive.

I don't know where to belong.

....................................................................................................

The sky keeps pouring outside.

But all that my eyes see are worlds within each drop.

Each one looks so transparent and fragile.

And as they race each other against my window,

I silently cheer for the one that's slow.

Because I know how it feels to be last.

And because I know there's still a chance.

Who knows, maybe when the night becomes alight,

I'll stop seeing the world in blue.

Maybe when the stars come out and paint the sky,

the colours in my head will mix and blend.

And when they do so, I'll wait by the seashore.

Brush in my hand and music on my lips.

Holding my breath, in the fading sunlight.

Susurrations of my heart grows louder,

as I watch the sky being adorned in a soft pink.

© Moonyloonywitch

Golden mornings and cool sea breezes brought them together.

Playful touches turned to yearnings with depth.

Days passed and love grew.

Until one day a shadow came uninvited.

Soon enough hell broke loose.

Still they managed to find their homes in the arms of the other.

But fate is bitter and sour and cruel.

It took away the black haired boy from his lover.

And left the other to grieve forever.

But what no one saw was the rage deep in the blues.

While the golden haired burned the world alive,

fate watched in the corner scared and small.

When the Trojans took away his home, his love, what could Achilles do except grieve for Patroclus.

And his grief brought the mighty warriors to their knees.

Troy did not not lose the war. Nor did the Greek win it.

Achilles grieved for Patroclus, and soon enough the war ended.

Yesterday night the moon whispered in my ears, That I am in love with you, dear.

You have the blush of roses on your checks, Your eyes are ocean-like deep,

Your body is like a beautifully crafted diamond, Your hair is like the river flowing longest,

Your heart is like the sweetest apple, Your soul sounds like a Christmas carol.

Your feet are soft like tulip petals, Your hands are like cotton sepals.

Your voice sings the melodious songs. You are shining in the dark, so strong.

Let me love you, aphrodite, forever and long.

@scribblersobia

I look up to see his beautiful face.

His eyes are filled with fresh tears.

But there's a smile on his lips.

It seems so true and real.

Yet I know it's far from that.

When his voice cracks as he speaks,

a deep sadness washes over my being.

I can feel it spreading through me.

Touching every secret corner and creek.

I don't know what to do now.

Who do I take care of first, him or me?

I ask myself, as I hold his face with my shaking hands.

His tears are so warm as I wipe them away.

His smile fades and he falls onto me.

While he breaks in my arms quietly,

I let my tears fall finally.

There's only so much strength I have in me.

And I'll use every last bit to piece him back together.

Because I don't know how to be without him.

I don't know why I am, without him.

Without him, I stay a blue question mark.

With him, I'll be a warm full stop.

© Moonyloonywitch

I am sorry I couldn't create a safe place for you.

I am sorry I couldn't be brave enough to let you be you.

I am sorry for all the times I made you say you hate pink (we love it now).

I am sorry for trying too hard sometimes and not trying at all other times.

I am sorry that you had to face all those years alone, without someone to hold you close.

I am sorry for letting you go when I should've held onto you tighter.

I am sorry for thinking that shutting you out will make me feel like I belong somewhere, anywhere.

I am sorry for abandoning you when all you ever had was me.

But now, little one, we are here. You and I, both of us are safe in this space that I have started to call 'heart'.

Cry all you want, I'll hold you. Be fierce, be gentle, be everything that you've wanted to be. I am here and you can be you.

Sweet young child, you're safe in my hands.

And we'll be okay. I love you, and that's all that matters.

To my younger self,

I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that I didn't stop you from harms. I'm sorry that now you're too broken to be put together

It was never your fault. It was never your fault. It was never your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault

When you spread your wings and fly away from the home you've always known, rarely do you realize the depth of the fact that it would not be so easy to return.

I miss everything about my home. Now that I've left, all I want is to go back.

Crawl into my bed and fall asleep to the sounds of the sea.

The sea and its crashing waves, a lullaby that has sneaked into my life without me even realizing.

I cannot sleep in the silence of this new city.

I miss the waves.

And the comfort knowing that the sea is awake and keeping me company.