Asking For A Friend But Does Anyone Remember Seeing That One Reverse Cowgirl Pov Video On Pornhub Or

maybe ellie x reader get hot and heavy in ellie’s car?? ive been loving driver!ellie recently

maybe? try ABSOLUTELY 😮‍💨

★ go to town.

content warnings: smut, smut, smut. not for the weak. umm. you suck ellie’s strap, sooo... strap-on usage, graphic depictions of ( reader!giving ) oral sex, masturbation, orgasm, insane dirty talk from ellie. she, like, very much has a fantasy of having a penis, i guess? general mentions and graphic depictions of sex + just very strong language overall. 18+ MDNI.

word count: 4.3k

“SO PRETTY WHEN I’M IN YOUR THROAT, BABE.”

. . . .

what had started out as a few soft kisses—your girlfriend perched on the edge of the bed in just her sports bra and jeans, legs spread just enough to keep you close, the rough denim brushing your bare thighs—quickly turned into something else entirely. something heavier, more desperate. the air between you shifted with a jolt, thickening when she leaned up to press a quick kiss to your lips— then another. and another. you’d honestly expected nothing more than to press your lips to hers a couple of times, maybe smooth a loving hand over her jaw and through her hair, before disappearing into the bathroom to take the shower you had been looking forward to all day. some innocent kisses, that was all. but it seemed a few chaste pecks just weren’t going to cut it. it hadn’t taken you long to sense it—by the way her palms gripped your hips, long fingers smoothing over your hipbones as her tongue slipped into your mouth—that innocence wasn’t what ellie craved.

when you pulled away from the kiss and found her gaze again, you were met with the kind of transfixing glint that flickered in the mossiness of her irises and spiralled outward into the darkness of her pupils. without saying another word and barely even giving you enough time to take a breath, ellie pulled you back in—this kiss longer. deeper. her grip tightened on your hips for a moment before sliding down to squeeze and scoop at the fleshy roundness of your asscheeks.

the sound of her name twisted into the small gasp that climbed your throat and fell straight into her mouth, landing on her tongue as you felt it flick against yours again with that same feather-light touch. “gotta go shower…” you managed to whisper. ellie broke the kiss, only to press her lips to the corner of your mouth and trail slow, deliberate kisses across your cheek to your ear.

“mm-mm,” you felt her shake her head slightly against the side of your face, hands pulling you closer, until there was no space left. “stay…”

“come on, els...” you were putting up a terrible fight—honestly, it was pathetic. any tiny morsel of resolve that may have sprouted from your desire to step into a warm shower after being on your feet all day had withered immediately when you felt the warmth of your girlfriend’s lips graze against the curve of your earlobe. “...water’s on…”

“so let it run,” her voice poured into your ear, thick and syrupy. “…need you here.”

your eyes fell closed as she spoke, as she touched you. you gripped her shoulders, trying to steady yourself against the intensity of her hold. any time she alluded to wanting you first— with words that teetered on the edge of desperation, laced with such faux-submissive admittance—you became putty in her hands, and she knew it. that’s exactly why she did it. the only way she’d let you disappear into that bathroom was when she was finished with you—preferably with her in tow. but right now, she had you exactly where she wanted you, and you weren’t about to fight her off—not even if you tried.

“…need you on my cock.”

it wasn’t every day that ellie used her strap on you. she usually favoured fingering you— multiple fingers, knuckle deep in your pussy—until you were writhing around on the bed beneath her, the aftermath of your multiple orgasms spilling between the intricate ink on her forearm. but, on the days she chose to switch things up, she always referred to it as her cock. you loved it— the term always felt so rare, almost forbidden and charged with such explicit undertones that it made your skin prickle. her cock, as if the silicone toy was a part of her, connected to every nerve ending, every pleasure receptor. but ellie didn’t want you to be fooled—her inconsistency was never a sign of indifference, of disinterest. she loved being inside you; watching your folds envelop her length like it was made for you, your cunt swallowing every inch of it, right down to the base, greedy for the feeling of being stuffed full of her. and as the words left her lips, warmth bloomed in your lower tummy, a familiar tightness radiating in your clit.

the shadow of a smile pulled at your lips, barely visible as you chewed on the inside of your cheek. “but, my shower…” you turned your head slightly, the faint sound of running water hitting the tile creeping into the bedroom. honestly, the shower was now a half-formed thought compared to what ellie had just planted in your head, but your girlfriend didn’t need to know that. there you stood, in nothing but your underwear and a teasing smile, feigning interest in steam and suds while every nerve in your body was tuned to her. you threaded your fingers into the back of her hair, combing the strands through your digits and pressing a gentle kiss to the only part of her forehead you could reach.

“mm-mm. shower can wait,” she mumbled into your neck, her lips leaving open-mouthed kisses against your pulse point. she could feel it thumping against the thin skin, and this made her laugh wickedly against you. “yeah, you know as well as i do that this shower can wait.” she repeated, pulling away to look up at you while giving your ass a light slap. she smiled in response to the definitive grin that eventually settled on your lips, then moved one hand to grip your wrist in one fluid motion to stop you sliding your thumb inside the band of your underwear. “hold on,” she breathed. “will fuck you— want to fuck you— god, gonna make you feel so good—”

“—but...?” you probed her to finish, desperate to know what she was getting at, and that was the only time that she took a moment from her rambling to press a kiss to the valley between your breasts with a small sigh. then, she found your gaze again through her lashes.

“…but. i wanna put it in your mouth, first.”

her words hit low, hot enough to burn a hole straight through your lower stomach. your tongue flicked out to wet your bottom lip, and you swallowed hard, trying to soothe the scratchiness that was suddenly in your throat. to smother that feeling that bubbled amongst your insides. not nerves— you weren’t nervous. this was deeper, more raw. like adrenaline tangled with lust—fascination set on fire. but you weren’t going to let that show. instead, you simply tilted your head raised an eyebrow. “you do?”

ellie nodded slowly. “fuck, baby, you don’t know how badly i want to. know you’ll look so pretty…” she blinked up at you. “…think about it all the time.”

you couldn’t help but grin at that, teeth on full show as you nodded back at her. it only took four simple words to tip the moment into something heavier— “shower can definitely wait.", and you swore you had never seen that girl move faster— like your instructions had snapped the last thread of her mental restraint, or what was left of it. she stretched over the entire length of the mattress, her movements swift but purposeful, and you watched as she rummaged blindly through the bottom drawer of her bedside table before retrieving her strap-on— six inches of smooth, electric blue silicone that you swore almost glowed in the dimly lit room.

she rose from the bed, yanking off her jeans and plaid briefs quicker than you could really process, before stepping into the harness and adjusting it to fit comfortably around her hips and upper thighs. you watched, mesmerised, gaze lingering over every part of her. sure, you’d seen her do this before, but there was something about this particular instance that made your pulse pick up against your neck up all over again. perhaps it was the way the warm bathroom light trickled through the crack in the door, mingling with the steamy heat of the shower. or maybe it was just the way she was moving— a raw confidence in every extension of her limbs, every subtle shift of her feet, her body taut with anticipation. perhaps it was both of those things— perhaps it was neither. or maybe it was simply because you knew you were about to have your girlfriend’s cock in your mouth for the first time ever, and frankly, you couldn’t wait.

she had barely even made a dent in the mattress when you lowered yourself to the floor in front of her. ellie tilted her chin slightly, gaze fixed on you unapologetically while her tongue rolled against the inside of her cheek, drinking in the way you looked— so pretty, so ready for her. reaching a hand out, she pushed your hair from your forehead, the pad of her thumb smoothing over the soft skin. “is this okay?” she questioned, her voice low, barely above a whisper. even in moments like this — when she was so turned on she could barely catch her breath, arousal already threatening to pour out of her, she always wanted to make sure you were comfortable. raising an eyebrow as you nodded, ellie mirrored your movements. “yeah? and you’re okay?”

you shuffled a little closer on your knees, eyes locked on hers the whole time. “mm-hm. are you?” you teased, and jesus fuck, she was sure she had never been more okay with something in her entire life. you were a picture before her, pupils blown wide as your gaze flickered between her face and her cock. you looked so pretty and eager, she felt like she might burst. the light from the bedside table behind her cast a soft shadow across your face—the length of her cock stretching in silhouette over your chin, your lips, your nose—and the sight made her chuckle.

she eased back onto the bed, resting on her elbows, eyes never leaving you. she didn’t want to miss a thing. “go ahead, baby. go to town.”

and that was exactly what you planned to do. you took a breath, breaking eye contact for only a split second as you leaned in, letting the tip of your nose brush against her, then locking eyes with her again. you didn’t waste much time, licking a slow stripe from the middle of her cock and dragging it upward before encircling the wet muscle around the head. you did this once, twice, three times, your eyes never leaving ellie’s— watching as hers darkened at the sight of you.

she huffed, extending an arm to gather your hair in one hand, keeping it out of your face while muttering something about how she “knew you’d look so fucking hot like this”. you pulled back just a hair’s breadth before opening your mouth more, and enveloping the full upper third of her cock between your lips.

you took her deeper, humming in quiet surprise when you felt the tip of the strap skim the back of your throat already. pausing for a moment, you allowed your mouth to adjust around her before continuing, eyes never leaving ellie’s face— studying it. she was transfixed, watching as everything she’d fantasised about over and over again unfolded right in front of her. her grip tightened around your hair, the other fisting an abundance of the duvet beside her, and as you pulled yourself back, lips still enclosed around her, she spoke again, “that’s right, baby. do it just like that...”.

the praise sent heat spiraling through you, your cunt beginning to expel the wetness it had been trying so hard to keep in—arousal now shamelessly pooling in your underwear. her words just spurred you on further, just as she knew they would, and you sank back down again, taking even more of her into your mouth this time.

she was big—you knew that already from those few times she’d been inside you, but this was something else entirely. you could feel yourself starting to drool, saliva so apparent in your mouth that you weren’t surprised when began to trickle down your chin, wetting ellie’s dick in the process. you continued like that for a minute longer; letting her control the tension, letting her watch, secretly loving the way she kept gathering and re-gathering your hair in her hand as if she was frightened to miss a single second, before finally pulling back.

she slipped from your mouth with a soft pop, your jaw aching and the back of your hand coming up to wipe your chin. ellie exhaled, eyes fixed on your mouth before flicking up to find yours. “that’s the hottest thing i’ve ever fucking seen,” she whispered after a second, breathless and releasing your hair just to gently brush it back over your shoulders with the lightest touch. “view alone’s enough to make me cum...”

the ache between your legs was becoming impossible to ignore, leaving you with nothing to do but chew your lip in response. even though ellie wasn’t able to feel it—not in the way this little charade was mimicking, anyway—her reactions told a different story. the way her jaw clenched, fingers strangling the sheets, how her breath hitched when you swirled your tongue around the silicone tip like it was real. it was all so convincing—so much so, that it made your head spin. as if every motion, every hollow of your cheeks sent waves of pleasure through her body. you both knew it was all in her head, but fuck, somehow that only made it hotter. ellie’s brain couldn't seem to decipher between your mouth working the cool silicone of her strap, and your mouth on her—each time you sank lower, the base of her strap nudging her swollen clit, her hips twitched in response. it was clear to you that your few minutes of light work had her teetering on the edge already.

you watched her from beneath your lashes as you leaned down and whispered, flush against her cock, “hmmm—love having you in my mouth, els.”.

she chuckled lowly at that, chest rising and falling slowly, but still charged with undeniable urgency. she twirled a piece of your hair lazily around her finger, her other arm propping her up on one elbow. “yeah? knew you would. knew you’d be so good at it, too.”

the way she said it—so casually commanding—sent another throb of heat straight to your clit. you were surprised you weren't dripping onto the floor— shit, maybe you were. the tip of your tongue teased the underside of her now, slow but oh so deliberate, and you whispered again, “mm-hm. s’making me so wet...” you glanced up at her. “...wanna touch myself.”

ellie's eyes darkened immediately, and you felt her fingers tightening in your hair, sliding up to grip a handful from the back of your skull, enough to make your scalp sting. she pulled your head back just a little, gentle but firm, and her voice followed lowly. “oh my god.” she tried her hardest not to smile, head tipping to the side as she watched as your hand already began reaching for the space between your legs. “well, don’t let me stop you. know you’re desperate. show me what you do when you think i’m not around.”

you didn’t need to be told twice, hand slipping into the band of your underwear in one fluid motion. a long sigh left your lips as the pads of your fingers began working against your slick clit in tight, desperate circles, your head falling back very slightly.

ellie’s eyes darted between your face and the space between your legs where your fingers disappeared— just hidden enough to drive her crazy; too dark to see as much as she wanted to, and god, she wanted to. her hand didn’t leave your hair, guiding you back down almost immediately. she moved her cock toward your mouth, coaxing rather than demanding, and the tip brushed your bottom lip. you opened for her without hesitation, a needy sound slipping from you—a hybrid of a whimper and a plea—something ellie couldn’t quite place, but which made her jaw tense and her walls clench. you took her back into your mouth, inch by inch—then deeper down your throat, little by little, fingers still relieving your swollen clit.

you moaned around her, and the low vibration travelled through the silicone and brushed against her clit. the unexpected jolt of pleasure made ellie’s breath catch in her throat, eyebrows furrowing. “ohmyfucking—” her free hand flew straight to her mouth, teeth sinking into her knuckle immediately as she curled it between her lips. somewhere amid the wet sounds of spit around her cock and the sight of your fingers buried between your thighs, ellie was sure she was about to pass out. she kept herself propped up with sheer muscle alone, abs burning, arms trembling, but she was so desperate to keep watching you she didn’t care about the pain, she could not stop watching— would not. not when you looked like that.

her breath was shallow, teeth still biting into her knuckle as she watched you; the way you had begun whining around her, how your hips twitched, and the rhythmic dips of your hand between your legs picked up every time your mouth slid back down on her cock... were you—shit, you were. you were fucking yourself. she just knew, and god, was it a sight to behold. “so pretty when i’m in your throat, babe,” she breathed, hand dropping from her mouth as she propped herself up again on her elbow. “so sexy when you fuck yourself for me. mouth full of my cock, fingers in your pussy— god, that’s it, baby. that’s it, love makin’ me feel good, hmm?” she tilted her head to get a better look as you continued, her mouth falling open at the sight of you. “oh, fuck. wish i could cum for you, wish i could pull out and cum all over that pretty face.”

ellie wasn’t even entirely sure if she was talking for your sake or hers, anymore— either way, she couldn’t stop. she didn’t even know if she was making sense. she just knew that it was getting her off, and that it was definitely getting you off, basking in the moans that left you as she spoke.

your fingers were now pistoning in and out of your hole, so much so that both you and ellie could hear the squelching that was coming from your movements as you chased your release. you were so close— ellie could feel it, could see it in the way you were barely holding onto eye contact, your desperate sounds of an imminent orgasm vibrating against her cock. you pulled back from her, far enough to take a breath, but close enough to keep the ribbons of spit that stretched between the two of you intact, and gasped. “ohmy—god, gonna—gonnafuckingcum.”

ellie’s grip on your hair tightened, her fingers pressing deeper into your scalp. “fuck, yeah. lean back for me, let me see you.” her voice was caught somewhere between a command and a plea, but you did as she said and immediately shifed your weight from your knees to your heels. you leaned back just enough that your thighs spread wider, and the space between them finally became visible to your girlfriend. with your free hand, you hooked a finger around the edge of your cotton underwear and pulled them aside to reveal all. as if she didn’t think she could get any hornier, that action alone and the sight of your glistening pussy earned both a heavy sigh and a desperate moan from ellie— one she had no interest in covering up. “oooh— there she is,” the girl leaned forward, getting as close to you as she could without actually joining you on the floor. her eyes found yours, and that was where they stayed, dark and expectant. “go on, baby. keep going, don’t fucking stop. wanna watch you cum just like this.”

you didn't stop—couldn’t. even if you’d tried. your fingers moved faster now, curled, and slippery, and frantic, hitting that spongey spot that ellie had taught you to find. her voice didn’t let up, but instead pushed you further, right into the cusp of that white-hot edge. “oh my god, you’re so close. aren’t you?” “y-yes!” “yeah,” she murmured, eyes flicking between your cunt and your face, savouring it all. “god, wanna put my hands on you so bad. wanna put my cock in you so bad, make you cum again— all over it, baby.”

a smile spread over her face as she saw the effect her words had on you—well, the ones that weren’t getting lost in the haze of pleasure that clouded your mind. your moans climbed higher, getting breathier by the second as your head lolled backwards and forwards in a pathetic attempt at a nod. your hips stuttered against your fingers, walls clenching and the pressure tightening more and more in your stomach. ellie stared, like you might vanish altogether if she blinked, her chin propped in her hand and hips rocking against the weight of her strap at that perfect angle as she braced herself for what was about to come— literally.

and then it hit. your eyes clung onto ellie’s for as long as they could before rolling back into your head as your climax ripped through you. they squeezed shut, body trembling and breath catching on a long moan as your fingers continued to pump in and out of your quivering hole, which tightened with every stroke. ellie’s hips continued to buck, almost uncontrollably now, against her cock as she watched you cum, her own eyelids turning heavy as the long orgasm washed over you. you were gorgeous; the slightest sheen of sweat covered your forehead, chin still slick with spit, face flushed, and she could see the wetness that covered your fingers every time they caught the light.

the sight of you alone was enough to tip her over the edge, clit pulsating with every small brush of her strap as she fucked against it now. that alone was enough to send her hurtling into her own orgasm, which presented itself in a mess of frantic hip movements and heavy moans, most of which were sucked through gritted teeth. “shit— oh, fuck!”

your body crumpled with the weight of your orgasm, fingers slipping from between your legs as aftershocks rolled through your body in supersonic waves. every nerve was raw, and you let yourself slump forwards to lean the side of your face against ellie’s knee. the sight made her laugh through ragged breaths, and she watched your thighs twitch and listened intently as the small noises of relief and post-orgasm bliss left you.

“jesus christ,” she muttered through another laugh, her voice hoarse. she combed her fingers through your hair, unsticking the strands from your face and tilting her head to look at you. “hey, pretty. you alive in there?”

you nodded slowly, eyes peeling open to look up at her; lids heavy, rendering her a hazy, pulsating mass before your vision finally adjusted to her gorgeous features properly. “just about.” a breathless laugh left your lips, and you watched ellie’s mouth twitch in response. her long fingers continued to rake across your temple and through your hair, so gentle that it almost distracted from the shit-eating grin that had spread itself over her face. “good. glad i didn’t kill you before i got to fuck you again,” she wrinkled her nose. “kind of a mood killer.”

your eyes widened for a second, and you slowly lifted your head from her knee to look at her vertically now. “romantic,” you whispered, eyebrows furrowing as she slid her hand into yours, and you realised she had meant everything she just said. “babe, you’re serious?”

this earned an utterly casual shrug from the girl. “dead serious.” she rose from the bed, harness still secured around her waist, and helped haul you upright until you were on your feet— albeit on shaky legs. “but, if you’re too fucked out... i can always just shower with you. wash your hair, get between your thighs...” she lowered her chin. “...try real hard not to slip inside you.”

you exhaled, biting your lip; ellie’s eyes dropped, catching the movement— an undeniable tell. she grinned even wider. “see? you’re thinking about it, i know you are.” and her smartass tone of voice made you roll your eyes.

“ellie, i’m half a person right now—” you stopped yourself, still gripping onto her hand with a small smile. “—actually, not even half. a third, at most— and you expect me to go again?”

ellie’s eyes trailed over your face, checking for any signs of real doubt, but she was sure she knew you better than that. “can carry you. if you want?” she dipped her head into the valley between your jaw and your collarbone, peppering small, open-mouthed kisses to the skin that was still a little flushed from your orgasm.

“tempting, for sure.”

she pulled back, just enough to meet your eyes, free hand splayed across your stomach now and the side of her pinky just barely brushing the lace hem of your underwear— still tugged aside, still noticeably damp with your arousal. you inhaled, and ellie noticed, her pupils blown wider. “you’re still so wet, babe. just kinda feels like a waste, mm?”

this comment earned a genuine laugh from you, head falling back for a second as you feigned a groan of hardship — as if having your girlfriend inside you properly beneath a deliciously hot shower would really be such a chore. “okay, fine. but if i fall,” you pointed a finger at her. “it’s on you.”

ellie glanced over her shoulder, already leading you into the steamy bathroom as she spoke. “then fall, babe. i’ll catch you,” she laughed, her gremlin charm working its way out of the cracks as she spoke again. “and maybe— if you’re lucky— i’ll let you land on my cock.”

author’s note: screamsandcries. *insert homophobic dog meme here* i have something extremely homophobic to say!!! no, but... um...what the helly? to be so fucking for real for a sec, this was so unhinged for a 2nd post? i’m actually so sorry? *pulls the mic down* so, i wanna say a sincere sorry to my christian grandmother, but a big, fat, wet you’re welcome to YOU. because you have just been FED! umm. hi! *whispers* this is one of my biggest fantasies icl…. wait? i’ve been here for like 2 weeks (?) and i’m already outing myself... cut the cameras. deadass. oh, also! really quick! thank you endlessly for your kind words and the love you have shown me since being back :( tbh, i was so scared to return to tumblr (more specifically the tlou community) but you guys have reminded me how fun this place can beeee! so thank u sm ♡ okieee, bye for now! hope u loved this, + hope to see u soon!!!

psa!!! a gentle reminder not to listen to strangers by ethel cain when in the middle of your bi-monthly spiral about that one wlw relationship that didn’t work out 👍🏼

i hope bella ramsey is having an incredible morning

The Last of Us 2.01 | 2.04

SUCKER — PROLOGUE, something new

gorgeous fanart by @nramv , edited by me

↫ masterlist next ↬

info: rain appears to be the centre of your new life, as well as your newest enemy. you try to adapt to the cold town of jackson while simultaneously remeeting what seems to be every person in town, bracing yourself for the first day of school. MOODBOARD + PLAYLIST

cw: reader smokes and she's 17 (soon to be 18) so underage, set in the 2000's!

wc: 3.5k

note: oh goody im excited, as you can tell its based on twilight. thank you to my friend E for proofreading!

as soon as you get into your dad’s car, the first thing it starts to do is rain. pour rain. the sunny weather suddenly vanishing before your eyes, and all hope you had of this place being slightly like your old home disappears in an instant. jackson. a small town in the state of wyoming, always cloudy, always raining. population: 3,120 people. you haven’t visited since you were 13. no matter how much the gloominess would obviously appeal to you, your mother kept you close, leaving your father to his own as the police chief. trees fly beside you as you stare outside, arm propped up on the side of his work car, paying close attention to the droplets falling on the glass window.

you both don't speak. you had already done the pleasantries, nice to see you, you’ve grown up so much, blah blah blah. it’s clear he has more to say, but you really don’t. you’re only here to make your mom happy, without you. over the years you've made the accidental habit of raising your mother instead of your mother raising you, so in a way you’re thankful for the change of scenery.

you remember the days with your dad when you were younger, how gentle he was with you and how much he cared, and although he’s trying his hardest not to show it, you can see how he holds just as much love for you as he did then, regardless of the 12 years that have passed. the rain pats gently all around you, and you close your eyes to soak it in. something new is what you’ve been needing. what you’ve been craving. you can't fully blame your mother for wanting to soak in the feeling of her new marriage, and to have complete freedom. she’s not the only reason you moved, anyways. things weren’t working out for you back there. you had no purpose, you didn't know what you were doing or what job you wanted to go into. simply making it day by day alongside your best friend.

the car jolts to a stop, pulling you out of your train of thought and forcing you to face your new home. it’s not raining anymore, and the house is the same as you remember it. two stories, painted white with a dusty brown roof, detailing wherever it can go. your dad is already out of the car, opening the boot and hauling out your luggage. bracing yourself and rolling your sleeves as far up your palms as they can go, you open the door. cool air hitting you instantly, the slippery pavement almost making you collapse on yourself.

“you good, bear?”

bear. oh god how you’ve missed your dad. you cant believe you almost forgot that nickname.

letting out a shaky exhale, you answer “yeah, sorry just slipped a little.”

he’s beside you in an instant, your luggage taking up both of his hands.

“oh here let me help you-”

“no, no im fine. i’m not that old yet,” he jokes, turning towards you for a minute and offering a soft smile in which you return “well, welcome to your new home.” he makes the first move to go inside, and you quickly reach for your purse still sitting in the passenger seat of his car; grabbing it quickly before closing the door and following after him. trying your absolute hardest to not fall and die on the driveway.

you both walk in silence, the house smelling as it always has. woody, rainy, and fresh. the tiles look as if they have been freshly polished, and the downstairs feels much less roomy than you remember. he guides you upstairs into the same room you remember spending countless nights in as a child, not giving you much time to process the downstairs. you make a mental note to explore more later. he drops your luggage to the side while you continue analysing it. its pretty open, direct space in front of you and a small hallway-like area off to the side, your closest on the wall opposite there. the bed resting in front of you against the wall is new, he changed the bedsheets, the pink florals have been replaced with a dusty purple floral design. there are matching pillowcases as well as a swan pillow perfectly placed in front of it, a darker shade of purple belonging to the sheets peeking out from underneath the duvet.

the rest of the room has also seemingly been revamped. there are fairy lights all around the ceiling, adding some nice warmth to the room. the shelves that rest on your wall in front of your bed next to the window have been emptied, and the window seat right beside, almost like an extension of your bed, has the same purple theme going, a fluffy throw blanket messily thrown in place, alongside some simple decorative pillows, lace curtains adding some simplicity. you already know you’ll be spending most of your time there.

next is the desk, right in front of your bed, just before the room extends. a lace tablecloth matching the curtains and acting as a shield to the wood. there’s what seems to be a fairly recent laptop model and some books adorning it, a mirror hanging right above it, alongside some storage underneath it. the chair seems comfy, just a simple wooden one, matching the desk. you assume he left the room mostly empty to incorporate as much of your old life as possible, but part of you wishes you didn't have to carry anything here. that you could leave no trail of your past here, but you appreciate the thought he’s given you nonetheless, and how he’s seemingly overly aware you’re no longer a child.

the last thing you investigate is the extension, there's a full length mirror at the end, but for the most part the extra room is mostly empty. there’s a bulletin board beside the mirror, and an extra wooden dresser to the side. just for safety, even though your clothes will probably take up less than half of the closet.

“wow… you really went all out.” you compliment, although it seems to raise slight alarm in him.

“sorry if it’s too much, i just wanted to let you take control. but also not have your old childish things…” he drones on for a little, but you’re too busy admiring your room. you feel better about the move already, aware that your dad will give you the space you need, while also actively caring for you and ensuring you’re safe. pros of living with the chief of police: you’re pretty much guaranteed safety. cons: you can’t be as open to him about bad habits as you would like.

you interrupt him before he spirals more, “it’s perfect, dad. purple’s cool. thank you.” you softly smile at him, throwing your purse onto your bed while starting to visually plan what you could add. the bedside table in front of you looks like it could use some decoration, and you’re already planning on going out into town to collect some small bits and pieces you might be able to use.

you flop down on your bed, just avoiding your purse, front facing the ceiling. the weight of the day slowly being lifted off of you while the exhaustion takes over.

“well, uh, i guess i’ll leave you to it.” your dad stands in the center of the room, hands on his hips as his bulky uniform makes his shadow appear unusually large. “the anderson’s will be here soon. any minute now, knowing them.”

“the andersons?” the name sounds so familiar, yet you’re finding it difficult to put a name to the face. sitting up to look at your dad on your elbows, legs hanging off the surprisingly comfortable bed.

“er yeah. abby and owen. they’re bringing you a present. well, a gift from me,” he clicks his tongue, contemplating what to say next, scared that he’ll spoil the surprise “you know what, you’ll see.” and he leaves it at that, going to exit your room as you lay back down on your bed, trying your hardest to remember who the fuck abby and owen are. but just like clockwork, the doorbell rings, and hearty chuckles can be heard from just below your window.

you sigh, and your dad chuckles to himself. his back facing you as he makes his way out of your room, footsteps booming down the stairs. you sit there for a moment, still racking your brain for who exactly the anderson’s are. as far as you’re concerned, they haven’t been mentioned until now. deciding the better way to solve this mystery is to actually see and talk to them, you groan before begrudgingly getting out of bed. jeans rustling against the sheets as your black chucks follow after your dad down to the front door, just below your bedroom, and right in front of your window. by the time you make it down, he’s only just opening the door to greet them. the warmth leaves your body as the cold air blows in, and although you’re technically wearing layers, it does little to help.

rushing to the door and practically stumbling over your feet while doing so, you come face to face with two people who’s memories instantly rush to mind. those anderson’s.

“nice to see you finally join us,” owen jokes, making eye contact with you, abandoning whatever conversation he had been having with your dad moments before. abigail stands to his side, fuck, she looks nothing like you remember. she looks hot. you check her out, shamelessly at that. you know she can see you, and you swear her lips have curved up into a slight smirk.

you laugh at owen, mustering up the last of your energy to figure out what to say next, “you know me. it's nice to see you guys, it's been too long.” you leave the doorstep, moving outside to the pavement, once again overly aware of how you’re moving, really trying to not slip and embarrass yourself. reaching to hug owen who reciprocates instantly, he smells like citrus somehow. you let go of the hug first, giving a smile and turning your attention to abby, a stupid smirk still plastered on her face. she's wearing a tight fitting white long sleeve and cargo pants. how she is warm is something you don't think you’ll be able to solve. she opens her arms for a hug and you reach for her, being engulfed instantly. she smells like oil, and amber. an oddly comforting mix.

“nice to see you,” she whispers.

you stay lost in the moment for only a second longer before responding, “you too.”

it's not a whisper, but still barley spoken, and you force yourself to be free from her grasp. you haven’t seen her in years, and you’re not sure why you expected her to still look like how she did when you were practically babies.

“so, how have things been?”

owen and your dad are lost in their own conversation, so you take it upon yourself to continue talking to abby.

“eh, same as always. i started fixing up cars and stuff, working out as you seemingly have already noticed.”

your cheeks flush red, so she did notice. “don’t flatter yourself, abigail. it’s been awhile, i’m just surprised to see you is all.” you defend, crossing your arms over your chest.

she laughs, throwing her hands up in defense. “how about you?”

you don't even hesitate to answer, “it's just weird being back here. i have not visited since the last time i saw you when we were what? 12?”

she thinks for a moment, most likely doing the maths in her head. “13, actually. how weird is that?”

“so weird,” you laugh, and she joins in alongside you.

as it dies down, she desperately makes an attempt to keep talking to you “what school you going to?”

“jackson, unfortunately. oh god, please tell me you are as well. it would be so good to already have a friend there!” you plead

she sighs and shakes her head, putting a hand on her hip. “sorry princess, i'm down on the firefly side. and before you get angry, i drove an hour out here.”

you frown at her, eyebrows furrowing. how the hell were you gonna make it through your first day now? you decide not to dwell on it too long, you would cope with that tomorrow when the issue presented itself.

analysing your surroundings, you notice a truck sitting right behind abby. it was pretty old, but you honestly found it pretty. a navy blue, rusty truck. abby follows your eyes, smiling.

“hey uh, i think the princess has spotted something important.”

she gains the attention of both owen and your dad.

“oh my goodness of course how could i forget,” your dad scolds himself as owen snickers to himself off to the side, “uh, i know it’s not exactly much, bear, but this is my house warming gift to you. i've already paid for it from this fool, and i wanted you to have your own way to get to school and wherever else you wanna go, really. so…”

your smile widens significantly, tucking your hands into your back pockets. “thank you so much dad. i love it.”

“and credit to me for fixing it all up, thank you very much,” abby chimes in, and you giggle at her bluntness.

“i cannot thank you guys enough,” you express, looking around at the people before you.

“it’s just something to get you started, but you must be tired,” the blonde in front concludes, reading you as perfectly as she did six years ago, you smile at her with gratitude.

“oh of course! you've had a full day of travelling and you have to get up pretty early tomorrow. we’ll leave you to it, it was nice to see you. make sure to get lots of rest tonight.” owen wraps up, releasing you from social interaction.

abby tosses you the keys, you catching them effortlessly.

“of course, and i’ll come visit you guys as soon as possible. get home safe!” you add on.

your dad says his own goodbyes as the two pile into owens car, abby in the drivers seat. they wave you goodbye as they leave, and you really do plan on seeing them as soon as you can.

you hadn’t even noticed the night settling over you as you and your dad make your way back into the house.

“you want some dinner, bear? i made some pasta before.”

as terrible as you feel turning down his offer, the only thing you really feel like doing is freshening up and going to bed.

“sorry dad, i’m pretty dead. i’ll snag some to have for breakfast tho!” you promise, making your way up the stairs while he lingers down in the living room, going to turn on the tv.

having a quick shower and changing into your pajamas (that only consisted of a tank top and underwear), you called down a quick goodnight to your dad and shut your door, sighing. you had barely done anything today, yet felt more tired than you had in months.

but you had a routine, and that routine got you to where you were now. jumper thrown on while you crawled over your bed to your windowsill seat, lighter and cigarette in hand. although your room is warm thanks to a heater, you’re taking safety measures in advance and preparing yourself for the cold air that will breeze through. you open the curtains, then the blinds, and finally the window. you sit back comfortably, back laid against the wall beside the window while your legs are stretched across, you lean into the open window and flick your lighter alive, it being the only light source other than the small glow of street lights and the warm fairy lights around you. holding the cigarette to your lips, you light it gently, the flame catching instantly.

you inhale the smoke, sighing in relief at the alleviation it was already starting to grant. placing the lighter back into your bag, you remove the cigarette from your lips for a moment, exhaling the smoke and admiring the woods that lay directly opposite to you, before your truck catches your eye again. no matter how old it is, you’re just glad you have something to get you from place to place. you didn't have that back in seattle. taking another puff, you sit there and soak in the first night. grabbing your phone to reply to your moms messages that had been coming in non stop since before your plane even took off. answering all of them in a haste. yes i landed safely. yes, dad is nice. i got a car. my school is sorted, i already told you a month ago i start the day after i arrive. i'm good. how are things with him? goodnight.

you sit there for the next 20 minutes or so, playing snake on your razr phone. you occasionally dust the ash off out the window and make a mental note to buy an ashtray, something you had somehow forgotten to bring along with you, before calling it a night. the clock reading 10 pm, your outfit for your first day already resting on your desk chair. shoulder bag right beside it, you were prepared enough. cigarette stashed in the side pocket, just in case. but you had to be careful with your use, you only had a pack left and you weren’t sure where you would be able to buy more, if you would be able to at all.

falling into a deep slumber, you’re awake and preparing for school before you know it. you haven't had the opportunity to unpack yet, so you’re frantically running around your room trying to find the pair to your earring, and trying to figure out how your concealer has suddenly gone missing, and you really thought you had prepared enough the night before.

grunting in frustration you decide to just leave as is, transferring your shitty spare concealer you held in your purse to your bag as well as your small jewelry box, you would deal with it when you got there. your outfit and hair were simple, opting for a v neck long sleeve layered with a blouse and skinny jeans, and an extra jacket looped around your arm with spare fuzzy gloves in your bag.

you can't stop for breakfast, calling out to your dad a thank you! in which he just looks up from his newspaper in shock, before shaking his head and looking back down, unbothered at your antics. you make a beeline for your truck, phone and keys in hand, then you slip.

too focused on getting to the car, you forget that jackson's pavement actually ices over. causing you to land flat on your ass. you whine instinctively, sitting up and rubbing your butt, feeling as it's now wet and you have no time to change. exactly what you needed. you don't let it stop you any longer as you rancorously unlock and enter your vehicle, tossing your backpack in the passenger seat beside you. do you have any idea where you’re going? no. does it stop you from pulling out of the driveway and hoping for the best anyways? no. you’re just hoping you’ll spot another teen driving to jackson highschool soon enough and be able to follow them.

to your luck, you actually do make it to school relatively on time, thanks to that random kid that was probably fearing for their life thanks to your following. you take the spare minute you have to sit in your truck and mentally prepare yourself. you got a decent parking spot and rush to yank the concealer out of your bag, methodically applying it with the trucks rear view mirror, not bothering to return it to your bag when it's done, grabbing your jewelry box and selecting a few rings and finally finding your other earring, applying all of them on, putting the box back next to your concealer. untucking the necklace you always wore out from your undershirt. after deciding you look presentable, you do the hardest part, leaving your truck, thankfully not slipping this time.

everyone’s eyes are on you immediately, people whispering to each other. your arrival somehow already being anticipated. you keep your head down, trying your best to not focus on all the eyes following your every move, navigating through the crowd and up the stairs to the entry, before somebody enthusiastically rushes up beside you.

“hi! i’m cat, you must be the new girl. i’ve been assigned to show you around.”

“hey, it’s nice to meet you.”

you cautiously introduce yourself as enthusiastically as you can, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. you have no idea where you’re going, and cat can most likely tell from your facial expression.

“here,” she titters, “i’ll bring you to the office. my friends, well, your friends too now if you wanna sit with us, are just down the hall. we’ll meet up with them after!”

cats' confidence and welcoming comforts you beyond words, and the day doesn't feel so bleak anymore. hopefully, it’ll stay like that.

next.

best friend!ellie and reader pretend to date to get ellie’s ex (cat or dina maybe?) to leave her alone but ellie kind of enjoys it way too much

ew why do i miss my old tumblr friends

★ soccer player!ellie + cheerleader!reader

content warnings: modern!au, college soccer player!ellie, female reader, some very mild sexual references ( but still sexual references nonetheless so minors do not interact ) + that's about it!

word count: 2k

⟡ ellie had clocked you immediately – leaning against the wall, water bottle in hand, looking as effortlessly pretty as ever and already dressed in your cheerleading uniform. you were too engrossed in conversation with a teammate to pay her presence any mind as she made her way down the corridor, hair tied back in a low bun, gear bag gripped in her right hand. noticing you had been almost automatic, but as she brushed past you and neared the entrance to the teams' changing room, she hesitated for a moment. her eyes lingered a little longer than they should have, long enough to admire how you looked in your attire (as if she didn't see you in the exact same uniform every week), and to also clock the small, dark blue bow that decorated the top of the ponytail that hung down your back. she bit back a smile at the sight of it, before making her way around the corner and disappearing into the locker room.

⟡ it hadn't always been this way. you weren't even sure of the moment it had first started. one moment you were strangers – just two people who caught glimpses of each other on the field a couple of times a week – and the next you were swapping playful comments across pre-game hallways, and purposeful glances across the vast, open playing field. that's how it had been for months. just playful and innocent –nothing more. you couldn't remember when things had shifted. perhaps it had been at dina's party, when the two of you had shared a joint and you made a snarky comment about her shitty roll, just for her to shoot back that she was sure "a pom-pom princess couldn't do any better." after that, the back and forth became easy – almost like a pre-game ritual, some might say. the two of you faultlessly found each other, like muscle memory, and your chemistry was electric, always buzzing there – low, but impossible to ignore. things began changing, slowly. brazen bets turned into low whispers, lips flush against ears in crowded rooms; playful jabs turned into gentle touches that lingered, warm and careful, across each other's lower backs. there had been moments, plenty of opportunities for things to happen. where things almost happened. the odd afterparty where your hand had remained wrapped around her wrist just a second too long as she led you through the packed room, or during an alcohol-induced game of truth or dare where you had somehow found yourself pressed against her inside a closet, both of you breathless with drunken laughter while taking full advantage of the tight space. but somehow – somehow, the line had never been crossed.

⟡ she couldn't help herself. it was getting your attention in that moment, or having to wait until you saw her on the field, and ellie was feeling impatient. as she passed you a second time, her knuckles purposefully brushed your shoulder blades and her fingers caught themselves in the ends of your hair, where she gently tugged at the end of your ponytail. it was harmless – one quick pull, barely more than a light flick of her fingers, but still enough to pluck your scalp at the root and pull your head back slightly. "nice ribbon."

⟡ you whipped your head around, your hand coming up to touch the back of your hair as your eyes fell on the culprit. you blinked, a small grin tugging at the corners of your lips as you realised who was to blame, watching as ellie continued down the hallway, never once breaking her stride. how hadn't you seen her arrive? you shot her a knowing look when she took another glance at you from over her shoulder, a shit-eating grin spreading over her face. "keep it cute, cheerleader." oh, she was on top form tonight.

⟡ the warm up drills were already in full swing when you found the perfect spot on the sidelines to watch, leaning your full weight against the metal fence with folded arms. the neat grass was a vibrant green as it stretched before you, and the evening was humming with that unmistakable game-day energy. ellie was already tuned in, everything else around her tuned out – her movements were fluid, the ball dancing between her cleats, almost feeling like an extension of her foot. you watched as she moved in and out of the cones, dribbling the ball with a kind of confident control that was unlike anything else– so magnetic. it was no wonder ellie was always named mvp; nobody else did it like her– nobody even came close. as she shifted position, ready to pass the ball to a teammate, she glanced in your direction from beneath her lashes. her brow furrowed a bit, a hint of a smirk wavering on her lips, before she looked away. you knew she had seen you, and she knew you were watching.

⟡ the floodlights cast ellie in a wash of brilliant white as she moved fast across the field, almost too fast to keep up with – her footwork effortless and fluidity unstoppable. she was all anybody could look at– not only because she played center forward, but because her energy was magnetic. she hadn't even broken a sweat, despite now pushing well over the seventy-minute mark, and her gaze remained focused and steadfast – except for the couple of instances when she would reach a hand up to push the loose strands of hair from her eyes. her command of the game was impossible to ignore. and the power she held over her opponents was undeniable. she was in her element.

⟡ your squad was maintaining perfection; pom-poms shaking in the air, catchy chants cutting through the noise and hitting the crowd from every angle, keeping their spirits suspended at a new high. the volume of their whoops and claps was almost deafening, but even amidst all of that, one thing was clear; ellie was unstoppable. every aspect of her emanated determination; the way her eyes narrowed, muscles and tendons rippling beneath her skin as her body weaved through her opponents', while her feet scooped and dragged the ball like it was tethered to her. then, with one calculated strike, she sent it hurtling past the goalie, straight into the back of the net with shocking accuracy. the crowd, yourself included, went wild– they always did for their star athlete.

⟡ she always knew where to look. ellie had managed to perfect the skill of seeking you out in the hub of onlookers over months and months, getting it down to a fine art as if you were anchored to her gaze. she had already stolen an abundance of short glances in your direction that night, watching you do what you did best– she loved watching you cheer; your squad was beat-for-beat perfect, and everything you did was infectious. but the way you looked at each other tonight, in particular, felt different from any other time. after scoring the final goal in the last two minutes and catapulting your school into the playoffs, her eyes were quick to find yours amidst the deafening roar of the crowd and the crush of her teammates.

⟡ the flash of her dark blue number 7 jersey kept the two of you linked together between the mass of bodies that piled onto her in celebratory jumps and shouts, their hands clapping against her back and shoulders. her gaze never left you, and a wide smile spread over her face, like a kid in a candy store. she loved knowing you had been there to watch, to see her at her best, to be a part of her triumph. but ellie knew to give credit where credit was due – she could run the field, for sure, but there was no denying she played better when you were there to cheer her on.

⟡ "look who's still here." her voice was laced with that same sarcastic edge that you loved to hate, and you glanced over your shoulder to watch her lean against the doorframe of the locker room. "waiting for me?" without missing a beat, you shot back, "i could ask you the same thing, seeing as you're the one seeking me out." you swung your legs around and pivoted your body on the bench to face her completely, eyebrows raising. "also, perv, there could have still been girls changing in here. don't you knock?"

⟡ "oh, i'm only interested in seeing you naked." ellie's grin was effortless, and it only grew wider as she watched your mouth fall open slightly, whilst you desperately tried to bite back a grin of your own; you weren't very successful. "you wish, williams," you rose from your seat, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder before making your way towards the door. "maybe when you score four goals, yeah?" you teased, followed by a small chuckle. you watched as the girl's eyes widened momentarily and she let out a low whistle, sparking a slightly competitive fire.

⟡ she loved a challenge. "ooh, careful. you know i might just do it." ellie stepped out of the doorway and into the corridor to let you exit the locker room, leaning against the wall opposite. "think you could?" "if i'd had another two minutes out there tonight, you'd be down to your panties by now." her quick responses were almost addictive, each one sparking a certain sort of prickling heat beneath your skin – a reckless desire to push the possibilities further and further. "bold of you to assume you would have lasted two more minutes. could tell you were getting tired after that second goal." you shot her a sideways glance as you walked past her, tongue pushing up against the inside of your cheek before you spoke again. "...also bold of you to assume i'm wearing panties." ellie lifted her gaze to the ceiling for a moment, catching her bottom lip between her teeth as she processed that devastating visual. "you're dangerous, you know that?" she pushed off the wall and fell into step beside you, her shoulder brushing yours. you chuckled lightly to yourself. "in all seriousness, though, you were great tonight."

⟡ ellie relished in praise from anyone, but from you, it felt different – it made her feel euphoric. untouchable. in one fluid motion and without even thinking about it she switched her bag to her opposite hand and draped her arm around your shoulders, as if she had done so a hundred times before. "yeah?" "yeah," you nodded, reaching up and looping your fingers loosely through hers as you made your way outside, into the cool summer air. "you're always great."

⟡ "mm. maybe it was that little ribbon that did it. a good luck charm," ellie doused her earlier comment in buttery praise, which caused you to roll your eyes playfully and earned a low chuckle from the girl. "gonna have to wear it for me every game, now." you furrowed your brow. "pretty sure you were still scoring goals even on the nights i didn't have a bow in my hair, don't know if i'd call it a good luck charm." you teased, cheeks flushing very slightly. ellie paused for a second, like she was actually considering it, before looking over at you with a small smile. "ah, well. maybe it's just you, then."

⟡ her response was faultless – just enough to make your chest ache in the most delicious way, a certain sort of yearning drenching you from head to toe – and you could do nothing but grin right back at her. "okay, fine. but please don't pull my hair again..." you paused, toying with the idea of whether or not to continue. "...well, not until i ask." ellie's jaw flexed, and she dragged her head back and forth in a slow shake. "just two more minutes, i swear to god. that's all i needed."

author's note: this was fun! very very fun. i love giving college / soccer player!ellie her deserved air time *bites my knuckle* like bro she is so hot it hurts? i need her? anyway let me know how you feel about this!!! and if you want a part twoooo maybeeee? ok byeee love u see u soon 𖹭

SUCKER — CHAPTER ONE, so close to what

fanart by nrmav , edited by me

vampire!dealer!ellie williams x fem!reader

↫ prologue masterlist next ↬

info: your first day goes surprisingly well, despite the unwanted attention, your mind is mostly bothered by the auburn haired girl who cant seem to stand you, despite you doing nothing. you find peace in being alone and decorating, waiting until the day you see her pale face once more, and when you do, she seems to have much more interest in you than before. MOODBOARD + PLAYLIST

cw: mention of eating disorders, underage smoking (r & e are 17, r soon to be 18), men, stalking (e), readers pretty down and empty, trying to fulfill it, shes clumsy, she wears a skirt, bella swan coded but not really, follows the plot of twilight, near death experience, ellie's a dick, still just mainly fleshing out the story, barely edited, Imk if smths missing. men and minors dni.

wc: 8.5k

note: thank you for reading & for your patience i apologise for the rush in advance x

maybe cat’s confidence isn't as comforting as you thought it would be. it seems as if all of her friends have picked up the same, fairly loud habits as her. but she was helpful, guiding you to the office and ensuring you had all the right forms and slips, including a pass you had to get signed at every class.

your first two classes went fine, thankfully. you shared both with cat, and as soon as maths finished and the lunch bell rang, her first move was to invite you to sit with her - an offer you very happily accepted, and an offer that she seemed even more thrilled that you had accepted. not like you were going to complain, surrounding yourself with people meant you didn’t look lonely, and not looking lonely meant you were not going to become a social piranha.

“hey guys! here she is, your shiny new toy,” cat jokes, introducing you to her group while she pulls you out a chair and then herself, placing her tray of cafeteria food in front of her.

you shyly wave a hand and sit down besides cat, your chair making a terrible scratching noise as you pull it back in, wincing at the sound.

everyone's heads are on you. there's four people whom you don't recognise, cat being the only familiar person at the table. thankfully, the one sitting directly in front of you takes the chance to introduce everyone.

“i’m thomas, this is jackson.”

he takes a minute to jab jackson's arm jokingly, who hits him right back smiling, thomas feigning hurt and rubbing his arm, pouting snobbily, trying (and failing) to hold back a smile. jackson has bright blonde hair and some kind of surfer vibe going for him, meanwhile jackson has dark brown hair, wearing a red flannel and skinny jeans.

“ignore them. i’m crystal,” the girl sitting diagonal to you continues.

she looks kind, soft. her blonde hair cascades down her shoulders, fresh blowout styling it perfectly. she has light shimmer on her eyelids, and you want to ask her where she managed to get such pretty pigment from, as well as where you can find a cute dress like that in a place like this.

“and that’s stevie.”

she nods her head beside her towards the final unnamed person. she smiles at you, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. she has dyed red hair that's pin straight, dark lipstick and eyeliner suiting her perfectly, her outfit far more stylish than the others, a dark red shirt with a lace layer overtop paired with a mid length skirt and boots.

“hey, guys. thank you for letting me sit with you,” you kindly express your gratitude, smiling at them, “it's nice to meet you.”

thomas laughs at your formality, leaning forward in his seat to show you have his full attention. “don't be silly. where’d you move from?”

stevie continues looking down at her food, seemingly uninterested in welcoming a new person and it makes you feel bad - you don’t want to mess with their group dynamic. everyone else is paying attention, even if they're eating, eyes wide, looking at you expectantly.

“uh, i just moved here from seattle.”

you can tell you're self-conscious by the way you keep tugging your sleeves over your hands, trying to shield yourself from the attention. it's not only your newfound friends that are looking at you, as people keep turning towards you then murmuring to their friends. you feel like you’re going crazy.

stevie laughs sarcastically, eyes on her food. “why are you so pale then?”

your face falters, “oh, i-”

“stevie,” crystal warns, her tone stern but still somehow friendly. gentle parenting at its finest.

“sorry,” she mumbles, but it doesn't help from your face flushing with embarrassment.

she seemed cool, you wanted to get to know her better but it seemed like she would rather do anything but sit here at a table with you.

crystal sighs, but her attitude switches up quickly to try and welcome you more as best she can, hoping you don’t let the red haired girl make you feel too much like an outsider.

“so, how was seattle? i bet you’re missing the sun, huh.”

the group continues to pile on top of crystal's initial question, “why did you move here? where do you live around? is that your chevy truck out the front? who have you met so far?”

it felt like it went on and on, but thankfully they eventually let up, turning to conversation amongst each other, tom and jack going off to talk to people they hadn’t seen since the holidays started, leaving with a promise of ‘returning home to you’.

her friend group being loud in nature proved to work in your favour pretty well. you didn't have to talk too much, but you still enjoyed their presence and jokes. it gave a good balance to your life and didn't exhaust you, treating you like you had all been friends for years. stevie’s dislike bothered you, but you were sure it was only due to the attention you were being given. you were determined to get rid of it and discover a way to help flip it on her instead. she seemed like she thrived off of attention, you did not.

“there’s nothing new about the newspaper here, just another one about eating disorders,” crystal complains from beside you. her whines about the poorly written newspaper she was reading from over your shoulder that she had just given you making you laugh.

“sup chief heiress!” jackson teases, coming back towards the group and yanking the newspaper from your hands, dragging an empty chair beside yours, stealing cat’s spot.

“chief heiress?” cat blandly says.

“very new perspective, jackson. thank you.” stevie’s sarcasm slices through you, she does not seem to enjoy the attention jackson is giving you, and neither do you. mentally, you put together the pieces. you planned on staying as invisible as possible, but everybody here seems to have made it their personal mission to draw as much attention to you as possible.

“i think it suits her,” thomas runs up, “don't you think?”

he asks you before kissing you on the cheek and yanking jackson’s chair from underneath him, causing the boy to fall and drop as well as the paper as the perpetrator runs away, jack chasing after him while yelling profanities. you shake your head, eyes falling back onto the discoloured table.

“wow. they are all over you, aren't they?” stevie kids, but its clear there’s bitterness lingering behind in her voice, malice. you can tell she’s trying to sus out your non-existent intentions. both crystal and cat eye her.

you sigh, picking the newspaper from the ground, putting it back on the table and standing up from your seat.

“not my type,” you disentangle, hoping it gives some clarity to the girl, and that she’ll pass the message on to the boys. it’ll do for now, but you’ll be sure to clear up the confusion later, having no energy for enemies, especially on your first day. your plan was to breeze through school, but you were really liking your friends, and you hoped it would stay a more permanent thing. only being able to hope that stevie’s resentment would die down as well as the attention, anticipating it already.

you forgot to bring your own lunch, thanks to your haste, so you’re forced to grab a piece of fruit from the cafeteria. it looked like a safe bet as seemingly being the only edible option they provided, especially after taking a quick glance at cat and stevie’s tray. you decide on an apple that looked surprisingly juicy, a deep shade of red making it seem extra appealing to you. you rejoin your friends and slide back into silent conversation with them, taking small chunks out of your apple while you pay attention to their intense talking, chiming in every now and again but not overstepping. thomas and jackson are still nowhere to be seen, but you’re not fussed about it. you hear the cafeteria doors open, automatically turning your head to see who walked in wondering if it could be tom or jack, but you forget all about them and your heart stops once you lay your eyes on three of the most stunning people you’ve ever seen.

the couple catches your attention first, someone lingering behind them. all are unfamiliar to you, and all are fairly pale, almost sickly. they walked as if they owned the place, and it frightened you a little, their confidence sending chills up your body. within the couple, the girl had dark, thick hair pulled up into a bun that framed her face perfectly, a brown jacket, maroon v neck cut t shirt and skinny jeans causing her to look as flattering as possible, her tan like skin adorning freckles wherever you could see them. she looked impossibly kind. meanwhile the guy she was holding hands with had some kind of mullet haircut going for him, an outfit similar to hers thrown on, boots squeaking ever so slightly against the cafeteria floors. they looked incredible together. striking. nonchalant attitude plastered on. the girl behind them, however, had caught your attention too. she had dark skin, amber eyes, and hair pulled back into a ponytail, long braids running down her back with a headband at the forefront. she and the freckled girl appeared to be matching outfits. before you can even process it, you realise they aren’t immune from resisting to look at you either, or maybe they could just feel your eyes, one by one catching your stare. you have to turn your head all the way around to see them properly, yet you don't look away, don't cower in fear, too entranced by the trios magnetic energy they hold even while simply walking and sitting down. but eventually, you lose eye-contact with them as they become engrossed in their own conversation, forgetting about you immediately and unbothered by your presence. it is unbelievably refreshing.

“who are they?” you ask your new friends, cat pausing her eating and following your eyes behind her towards their table on the far side of the cafeteria.

she doesn't pay any mind to your question, going back to her food, you face her, back turned to the trio.

“the millers. the dark haired girl with the boy? that’s dina, and jesse. both really weird, both dating. the other one is riley. they mainly keep to themselves. they moved down here a couple years back, their dad is some sort of doctor slash matchmaker. i’m surprised the other one isn't with them.”

your face contorts into confusion.

“how can they be dating if they’re part of the same family? and the other one?” you question, and just like clockwork, you hear the doors behind you open once again, turning to face it, you see her walking through them.

time seems slow as you watch her walk towards her table. she’s tall, fairly lean, far more pale than the rest. auburn hair cut just above her collarbone, tied into a half up half down. some wispy bits fall from her oddly flattering side part, a silver lip ring and eyebrow piercing taking place on her also freckled face. she was dressed in converse, like you, baggy jeans, a jacket and a deep green shirt.

she seems to be the edgier of the trio, smirking to herself for no reason when passing your table, making her way to join the rest of her family. you can't take your eyes off of her.

“that's ellie miller. total heartthrob. apparently nobody here’s good enough for her. not like i care, you know…” you silently nod your head, indicating you were still following along

stevie clears her throat then continues, “dina and jesse can date since they aren’t technically related, although it's still weird. joel miller adopted the four of them ages ago, apparently after he lost his own daughter.” she continues cats logic, whispering the last part. your simple sentence from before denying attraction for the boys evidently lightening up her perspective on you, thank god.

“huh.” you mumble, taking the final bite of your apple, still turning your head just to stare at the pale girl sitting at the table far across from you, you can really see the appeal for it now. she's busy in conversation with dina, manspreading and leaning back into her seat comfortably, hands tucked into her jacket pockets as if she owns the place, she looks extremely relaxed, and good doing it.

you get lost in thought, blanking out while you stare, the last thing you expected her to do, however, was to suddenly look up and lock eyes with you. panic coursing through you as you look away from her, praying she didn't catch you. only for a moment though, your body instinctively looking back up to see if she’s still staring.

and she is.

a confused, almost lost look having replaced her previously cocky features, leaning upright in her seat ever so slightly, analysing you. but not for long, she pauses for a moment before peeling her eyes away from you, resuming her previous position. warmth floods to your cheeks and you look around and down at your finished apple in shame.

cat, apparently having previously caught your stare, sighs. “seriously, don’t waste your time. i mean it,” disappointment held in her voice.

you shake your head gently, turning around and looking up to face the pale girl once more, hoping to see her facing you once more. she’s not. “wasn't planning on it.”

the bell rings and all of your friends go their separate ways. you shared biology with thomas, who decided to rejoin your table just as the three of you were grabbing your stuff to get to class.

your feet drag as you make your way to the labs, thomas talking to you about his extravagant lunch adventures, but you weren't fully paying attention. when you arrive, he apologized profusely to go sit with another friend of his, saying he wishes it was you but that he had made the mistake of promising them. you don't mind, waving him off with a polite smile and soft eyes to indicate it was alright. everybody else had already taken their place as you enter the class, in their own duos, leaving you little choice. you analyse the room, a fan blowing directly behind you and you can feel your hair move from it. that's when you see her, again, her eyes already on you. you hadn't even noticed her leave the cafeteria before.

but this time, when the papers fly up nearby her thanks to the fan behind you, her hand flies up to her nose while she inhales deeply, shutting her eyelids as if she’s trying to regulate herself. your face twists into confusion, instantaneously feeling self consciousness as you shyly grab your hair to smell. vanilla. nothing new. nothing disgusting to inhale, unless maybe she just really, really hated vanilla. but from the difficulty she’s finding to even breathe, you highly doubt that. she’s staring directly at you now in sheer disgust, breathing in heavily, tense as she could be as if she’s smelt something absolutely rancid ‘cause of you.

lost in thought, you don't notice your teacher talking to you, until you lose eye contact with her and he takes your slip away, signing it then handing it back with a textbook. then, he points straight to her, and that's when you realise she’s the only one without a lab partner.

regardless, you still try to make light of the situation. flashing a faint smile and taking your seat beside her, the stool out to get you as you almost fall backwards the second you try to sit, hurriedly regaining your balance and trying to play it off, dropping your book bag beside you.

she doesn't speak to you, hell she doesn't even look at you directly. her eyes wide as she keeps her head down, eyeing you from the side, hand still covering her nose and mouth.

it only worsens your paranoia, skeptically raising your sleeve to your nose to see if she's being dramatic or not, and again, you only smell like vanilla. you didn't walk through shit on your way to bio, thank god. how come ellie looked at you as if you were dead was unknown, but you still wanted to give her a chance.

you just couldn’t find it in yourself to talk to her. she's made it very clear with her piercing gaze and inability to say hi that she has zero intentions of talking to you, so there was no point to it anyways, and you didn't want to cross a line, especially with her strange gaze at lunch. you opt to pay attention for once. but it's proving to be a challenge when the stools are so uncomfortable, when ellie’s intensely staring at you, hand no longer near her mouth, inhaling deeply, like she wants more. looking at you like she wants more, not paying attention to the teacher. just you.

mr. brown’s mouth is moving, but you’ve blocked him out. ellie seems to be trying her best to make you notice her, to look at her. and its working, proving to be incredibly difficult to not give into temptation and look at the pale girl beside you, and you just about do every second you’re stuck in that classroom.

you distract yourself by counting down the seconds, imagining ellies life outside of school, how you can adjust your routine in the morning to no avail. your mind wandering back to the girl beside you each time.

the clock is ticking but nothing is changing, you think you’ll be stuck in this classroom forever.

somehow, eventually, the bell rings for everybody to go to their next class, but part of you is disappointed. you were enjoying the attention ellie was giving you, even if it set off warning bells in your head. i mean, your friends had even explicitly told you she didn't have eyes for anybody, even stevie. and you certainly are not better than stevie.

you blink and ellie's gone, dashing out of the classroom, old backpack clutched tightly in her right hand, running away from you as if her life depended on it.

you hate it, but deep down you're offended, and a little sad. someone else's opinion has never bothered you this much until now, and you have no idea even why. you convince yourself your friends got into your head about the mysterious girl. you haven't even spoken to her, yet the effect she has on you seems to be an issue, one that you hope doesn’t last.

you don't see ellie for the rest of the day and it disappoints you, that meant you only had biology with her. after a gym class that you surprisingly don't do terribly in, and another lunch break where you once again gained unwanted attention (thankfully, limited from jackson as you started a conversation between him and stevie), you make your way back to the office, marking the end of your first day.

opening one of the double doors, you’re surprised to see her right in front of you, but she does not look happy. posture tight, back straight as she leans over the counter, just like she had in biology.

“there has to be something, anything at the same time as bio that i can switch to, lady. literally, anything.”

“i’m sorry dear, but all of the classes have been filled,” she responds apologetically, holding a hand up to you to signal she’ll be with you in a moment, and you weren’t even sure if ellie could get any more rigid than she could, but her body language surely signals it, proving you wrong. turning around slowly to face you, face angry. it shocks you, but doesn’t scare you, looking directly into her dark eyes.

“i’ll just deal with it then. thank you,” she grunts, taking her backpack off of the floor and storming away from the office, less than an inch away from bumping into you, barely avoiding your touch.

bothered, but honestly more annoyed, you go through a series of emotions in a matter of seconds, trying to make excuses to how she could be so mean to you when she didn't even know you. sadness slowly turning into anger, you wanted to know what made her hate you. not even bothering to go return your slip, a flurry of emotions overtaking your being, leading you too to storm out. telling yourself you’ll confront the tall-girl tomorrow, challenge her even. if she wanted to bite you, you would bite back.

but she didn’t show.

not the next day either, or the day after that. all hope you had of confronting her slowly fading away, as well as your anger by the time the week finished, and you were left to your own devices. you would be lying if you said dismay didn’t consume your being everytime you walked into biology only to find the seat next to yours empty, often finding yourself looking at her siblings during break, you hated it, but she had made an impression on you.

you tried your best not to let it bother you. turning your focus to school and friends, but not much had changed, and you knew it was only a temporary feeling of fulfillment. half the school seemed to have taken an interest in you, asking discreet questions to see who you might have eyes on, telling them the same thing.

“nobody. i'm good on my own.”

and you really weren’t lying when you said that. sure, ellie drew you in and magnified your curiosity by far more than anybody else, but she had issues with you for some unknown reason, and you had no plans of chasing after someone, no matter how badly you wanted to. anybody who had asked you out romantically you were sure to turn down as politely as possible, because they didn't know you.

there was no difference between them and you when it came to ellie. you really didn't understand the appeal when it was about you, and you were certain it was only because you were the first new person in months.

the week finished far slower than you thought it would, each passing day adding more and more weight to your shoulders, the feeling of fulfillment fading away faster until you were alone, and it vanished completely.

weekends gave you freedom, but they also left you with too much time on your hands. you found yourself doing something, anything that would distract you and keep your mind off of the pit that had formed in your stomach.

first, saturday. you had blocked off half the day to complete schoolwork, and the other half to unpack and hang out with your dad. he didn't have the day off, but you made sure to go to the station and hang out at the diner for lunch after you had managed to complete your work in a matter of hours.

he did a good job at keeping your mind occupied, telling you all about what his duties had been involving recently. strange animal attacks being the centre of his occupation currently. all it proved to you was that jackson was boring, but at least your food was delicious, and you did meet some more familiar faces who claimed they last saw you when you couldn’t even form a conscious thought.

when you drove home, saying goodbye to your dad, the first thing you spotted were four brown moving boxes sitting on your porch waiting for you, and you knew what two of them contained. your music. something you felt like you had been missing for years.

you hurriedly moved all the boxes inside, albeit struggling while doing so, especially when trying to get everything up the stairs. but you managed, and you wasted no time, ignoring your panting breath as you ripped open all the boxes, visualising how you wanted this to go.

deciding you would go out to town and buy some new shelves and a stand to hold your record player and vinyls, you call your dad quickly to check what the best place would be, to which he recommended some vintage thrift stores around that were bound to have something similar to what you were looking for. jumping in your truck and peeling out of the driveway, deciding you would get all your furniture first before unpacking further so you didn't have any unnecessary clutter. you had gotten a pretty good feel for the town and had a general idea on where you were going, eventually finding a good spot right in the middle where you could shop, making a stop at the library to print out your resume first, a process that had been tedious, to say the least.

every store you went to, you handed out the piece of paper that had your name in bold letters at the top. you figured it would be a good idea, useful. having something to take up your days while simultaneously getting paid for it, applying mainly in the hopes of getting hired at the record store that very conveniently had a sign in bright bold letters practically screaming at you that they were hiring, and the person whom you handed your resume to had taken a liking in you, especially after seeing that you were the chiefs daughter.

it didn't stop you from having a look at their options, they had much to choose from. paramore, bon iver, and you couldn’t leave without at least one thing from there, you had been saving up and declared it a present for yourself. hoping it would decrease the emptiness within you somehow. deciding on among my swan by mazzy star, it felt only fitting, and you planned on showing your dad the correlation between the pillow and the record. it would kill two birds with one stone. he would think you felt perfectly fine, and you had something new to listen to.

you visited a couple more shops, handing in your resume at every single one, always ensuring to have a wander around, too. you were sure to not overspend tho, buying two new shirts and a skirt with some tights, some more long sleeved stuff as you were running out of outfits, small trinkets from local antique stores that you wanted to support, checking their furniture options each time. each store didn't have quite what you needed, that was until the second to last. a dark wooden shelf catching your eye instantly, it was perfect. the same type of wood as your other furniture, four squares beneath to hold the vinyls flawlessly and the perfect width on top to hold your turntable and speakers.

you bought it without a second thought, the shop attendant helping you load it out into your truck after you drove it up out front their store, them doing most of the work due to you almost dropping it from your inability to see two feet ahead of you. you decided to end your day there, satisfied with the purchases you had made, feeling a little better, you had been productive at the least and that brought some comfort to your overcrowded mind.

it was sunset by the time you arrived back home, your dad already relaxing on the couch before you interrupted his silence and begged if he could help you unload the new, heavy piece of furniture. he accepted without a second thought, bringing it up to your room effortlessly, almost tripping over the mess you had made on your floor of suitcases and boxes.

by the time you had rearranged your furniture, fatigue had overtaken your being. a lack of motivation to continue your newfound career in interior design made you instead decide to call it a night. rushing down the stairs to reheat your leftovers from the diner, eating at the kitchen bar with your father standing in front of you, it was nice to have him genuinely care about your day. this was time you two had reserved to update each other on your days, no matter how boring. telling him how you applied to a few stores and excitedly explaining how you had bought a matching vinyl to the pillow he had gifted. something that made his day a lot better than you thought it would.

washing your dishes and stacking them, you said goodnight to your dad before lazily walking back up towards your room. he calls out a reminder to call your mom and check when you can go down to see abby, you don't pay any mind to it. already having made mental plans to go down on the firefly reserve next weekend. having a quick shower and crashing on your bed, you close your eyes for a couple moments, content with the day.

the pit wasn't so overbearing anymore, you felt okay, not incredible, but good enough to not spiral. hoping to hear back from at least one of the many places you applied to.

you wonder if you would run into ellie in town someday, especially if you started working there.

groaning at yourself, you refuse to let someone like ellie steal all your thoughts, she was probably just having a bad day that didn’t have anything to do with you. i mean it was the first day back, so she was probably missing the liberty of doing whatever she wanted during the day, explaining her sudden absence.

but you were more upset at her for leaving you alone in biology. you suck at biology. and you didn't want to lose all progress you had made with stevie by asking one of the boys to tutor you since they were the only other two who also did it, just in separate classes. stevie, crystal & cat doing chemistry, a science you were somehow worse at, choosing to suffer in silence instead, asking your dad for help that didn't really help when he doubted his skills more than your own.

opening your eyes and peeking outside, you decided now was the perfect time for your typical nightly routine. opening the lace curtains then your window, grabbing the jumper beside you once the cold air hit you immediately, somehow forgetting about the cloudy breeze waiting for you outside despite the countless times you’ve done this now. before bed, or in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. even when you got home before your dad did.

opening your pack, you come to the realisation you only have six left, you would be out in the next week or so. cat seemed like the type of person who would know who dealt, maybe even stevie, making a mental note to ask them later if they knew anybody.

taking one out, you grab your lighter from its hidden spot beside the pack underneath the pillows. assuming your regular position of your back leaning against the side wall with your legs spread straight across, you put your cigarette in between your lips and purse, cupping your hand to shield it from the wind and effectively lighting it, but burning yourself in the process, sucking in a pained breath and involuntarily dropping the hot object. you moan at the feeling for a moment clutching your finger with your other hand before assessing the damage, nothing terrible. it would fade within a day or so, focusing back on the cigarette and inhaling, content with the relief it gave.

you take the cigarette from your lips pinching it between your index and middle finger, exhaling towards the outside of your room. grabbing your phone, you dial your moms number. you haven't called her since thursday, it completely slipped your mind last night, so you wanted to make the effort to talk to her now.

one ring, then another, then another, and a few more but she doesn't answer. you give up, putting the cig back in your mouth for another inhale and throwing your phone on your bed. looking outside instead.

your heart skips a beat as you swear you see something from the treeline, standing completely still right in direct eyeliner to your house, jumping in your spot and leaning out the window further, seizing the cigarette from your lips once more and blinking a few times. it was probably just your eyes playing tricks on you, as when you open them again, nothing is there.

nobody would be able to get away that quickly, so you dumb your fears down to an illusion, but you're still shaken up from it for an odd reason, calling it an early night.

reversing your steps, and closing your window, making sure to lock it this time just in case, then your blinds and finally your curtains, you settle into bed. the warm glow from both the lamp beside you and the fairy lights granting you comfort as you lull yourself to sleep, plans on decorating at the forefront of your mind.

sunday goes by far quicker than you would like. you woke up fairly late and was focused on laying out your room the way you would like. it was the first time you had complete freedom with somebody who didn't insist on keeping you their baby forever, so you were savoring it. your mom still hadn’t called you back, you weren’t worried, chalking it down to her enjoying the company of her husband. you begin your journey of meticulously moving things around, carefully choosing what would go where and ensuring you were making it as cozy as possible.

your vinyl shelf being the first thing you set up, you put it beside your desk, stealing the spare outlets beside it for your turntable and then attaching your speakers to the record player itself. displaying them neatly on top, deciding some small figurines and crystals could also make home there.

playing the first vinyl you pulled out of your box, that being ‘all we know is falling’ by paramore, you began to arrange and organise the rest of your collection, a process that took longer than you expected it to, a couple hours at most, but you were extremely happy with the result, you still had a few cubes empty, your collection on full display.

the rest of your room thankfully went by pretty easily, it came naturally for you to decorate. cleaning out your desk, not adding too much to it as you knew your constant schoolwork would clutter it enough, your bedside table not as empty as it previously was, a lamp, book & other small trinkets making a home there. your purse lay resting on the floor beside it.

your wardrobe took the longest, the other two boxes, and two suitcases mainly occupying clothes and some miscellaneous sentimental items you wanted to bring along. spending a majority of your day folding and hanging up clothes, far more than you remembered you had. over half being clothes you wouldn't even be able to wear 90% of the year because of the weather, but you were determined to find a way you could style them while staying warm. about half way through the day, cat sent you a message wondering if you wanted to meet up with the rest of them for lunch, and although you were busy unpacking, you thought some food wasn't a bad idea, and neither was strengthening your connection with the rest. hoping to god that they were the cure to the emptiness you had been feeling, pouring all your energy into the group, just for a chance of feeling normal; content.

but they didn't. you were hoping it was just because you haven't spent enough time with them yet, but you couldn’t spend too long with them anyways, emphasizing how you had to get back to complete your unpacking duties, in a hurry to do so before monday rolled around. cat, jackson, crystal & thomas all offering to tag along and help, an offer you had to politely decline. you were good doing it alone, music playing softly in the background. enjoying it much more than you thought you would have. maybe you could call abby when you got back. saying your goodbyes and tripping on your way out of the cafe, recovering and turning back to see if any of them had noticed, they all had.

offering them an awkward smile and wave goodbye, you turned away and allowed your cheeks to burn, rushing home.

by the time you arrived back, however, your dad whisked away your car instantly and had it taken out to get new tires, explaining to you how they would be safer on the slippery roads. you being sure to thank him profusely for the surprise, comfort settling over you as to how you didn't need to be so worried about crossing the rain with your car.

the day was moving by as if the hours were seconds, and you wanted to savour every last one. you had it to yourself. no worries of the outside world or friends, lost in your own room.

you were sure to call abby that night, cigarette pursed between your lips, talking to her about your recent endeavors and how your first day back went, briefly touching on ellie, a name she seemed to know but refused to explain further, suddenly needing to go. it infuriated you. abby was supposed to comfort and maybe distract you, just a little, the discreet flirting she was giving feeling worthless now.

monday came before you knew it, your room fully decorated and cleaned out. you had developed a morning routine over the past week that didn’t leave you running and dying making your ride, calmly making your way down the stairs, hands gripping the porch railing while you calmly walked to your car, not rushing into anything that would inevitably end up with you slipping and falling flat on your ass, climbing in and turning the heater on immediately. you were wearing something more fashionable than usual for once, wanting to feel good about yourself. the new outfit you had bought yourself on the weekend, a babydoll top paired with warm tights and a simple skirt, same worn chucks as always, not bothering to change that up. you felt good.

you drove to school in silence, no radio in your car meant no music at all, giving you time to sit with your own thoughts. you didn’t know where you stood right now. you really liked your friends, but they could be a bit much sometimes, and you preferred something softer. ellie still occupied your thoughts more than you wanted to admit, although you had been distracting yourself as much as you could throughout the few days you did get to yourself, your thoughts constantly wandered back to her. wondering if she would ever come back to school at all, or if she really just couldn't stand to be around you. you doubted she would return anytime soon. your feet move on their own accord out of your truck and through the courtyard to your first class: biology. it was especially rainy and cold, and in an effort to not ruin the work you had gone through, you threw on your thick oversized jacket and mittens, hauling your bookbag hurriedly out of the open weather.

going to your locker first, you tucked away your mittens, collecting your textbook and holding it to your chest, navigating your way to class. you had grown used to the empty seat beside you, not bothering to check and hanging your jacket up on the hanger at the front of class, facing towards your seat only to see-

her.

you certainly were not expecting her to make her reappearance today. she somehow looked even more appealing than before, an oversized button up shirt with a long sleeve navy undershirt and jeans being her simple outfit, same starry freckles, same shoes, same piercings.

your heart stops as your movements stutter, now feeling very out of place and lost, far more than usual in this class. that was usually in academics and paranoia of people thinking you were a loner, now it's because the one girl you feel like you’ve been waiting centuries for to return is right in front of you, looking straight at you. no hand over her mouth, but no smile either, just curiosity.

pride swells in you, then anger. she still was rude to you, not talking, acting like you were disgusting then practically begging to switch classes away from you, but the anger subsided just as quickly as it had previously, and you made your way to your aisle seat beside her. dropping your bag to the side, almost slipping off your chair for the sixth time, and pulling it in.

after weighing your options, you decide not to speak to her unless she takes the opportunity to talk to you first. you didn't want to force her to be friends with you, she's not looking at you but shyly looking at the table in front of her, the complete opposite to last week, as if she's contemplating what to say. you cross your arms and lean on the bench, looking straight ahead.

“hey. i’m sorry i was unable to introduce myself last week. i’m ellie miller, and i know who you are, but i’m guessing you're tired of people telling you.”

there goes your heart again, your brain short-circuits as her velvety rough voice cuts through you, deep. you stumble over your movements, elbow falling off the table, turning your head but not your body to see her face.

“mhm.”

she gives you the faintest of smiles, breathing in deeply. she genuinely seems to be trying, despite the little she’s spoken to you, it's better than the running away.

her green-amber eyes appear to be more welcoming this time, although you could have sworn they were a dark, almost soulless shade of black the last time you saw her.

you want to ask her what her deal was last week but stop yourself, your teacher frantically running up the aisles, explaining what the practical he had planned would consist of. something about onion cells and differentiating different phases, and that whoever finished first would get a golden onion. exactly what you wanted.

she shifts the microscope over to you once mr. brown finishes explaining, “ladies first.”

internally, you freak out. while you're fine with this unit, you still have fear lingering within you that you’ll answer wrong and look stupid in front of ellie, something you really didn’t want to do.

hesitantly, you take a look into the microscope, identifying the onion root to be in a phase of mitosis after a couple seconds.

“mitosis.” you confidently answer to your lab partner.

“do you mind if i check?”

shifting the microscope over to her, you allow her to have a look for herself.

“mitosis.” she agrees, writing it down on the paper in front of her.

you don't intend on intruding, you really don’t, but your curiosity gets the better of you in a matter of moments, not thinking twice when you question her whereabouts before reality catches up to you and you regret it instantly. “you were gone. where’d you go?”

she switches out the plate, looking down, not answering you for a couple moments, murmuring an answer under her breath and writing it down before looking at you. you don't question the answer, trusting her judgment far more than your own. “i’m sorry about that… i had also meant to apologise before. there were some personal things i had to deal with. i hope everything was okay without a lab partner, though?”

a lab partner. you think. sighing dramatically, “it’s fine i guess, this is only my worst subject anyways” you attempt to joke, hoping it will lighten the mood further. she lets out a low chuckle, averting her eyes from the microscope before piercing you with her gaze once more, opening her mouth to respond before shaking her head, looking back into the microscope.

“what?” you frown “do you want me to have a look? you’ve been doing a lot of work.”

“are you sure i can trust you with getting us the golden onion?”

“hey! i'm not that terrible, i got the first one right.”

she smiles, biting her cheek to stop it from widening. even though her head is down you still see it, her pretending to take so long to identify it to not make you feel as silly.

“how have you been liking jackson weather then?”

you stare at the girl in disbelief, “you’re asking me about… the weather? here?”

her face falls as she seems to realise the uselessness of her own words, smiling at herself, not holding it back this time. “yeah, i guess i am.”

you shudder at her, “it's been okay. it's just so cold all the time, i can't help but miss the heat. the sun, at that.”

“it's supposed to be sunny thursday, i think.” she's gliding through the questions with ease, and you do feel terrible for letting her do so much work, but she doesn't seem to mind one bit. asking you more questions, questions that would be impossibly annoying if they came from anybody else, but from her, it's more personal. she’s actively listening and following up. it's a revitalizing change. “but your outfit is nice. did you get it for this weather?”

she noticed.

“yeah, actually. i got it this weekend.” you smile fondly at her, looking down at your outfit timidly. the emptiness within you is no longer as noticeable, it's not overbearing with ellie.

“how come you went into town?”

the rest of class went like that, time flying by as ellie asked you questions upon questions about your life, getting more personal as time went on. you two won the onion, leaving class side by side with it clutched tightly in your hand while you walked to your locker, questions still coming. you honestly didn't know if she would ever run out.

“so you moved here to make your moms life easier? that doesn’t sound fair on you.” she interrogates, voice slightly rougher now while she learns about your reasoning for leaving your home and coming here instead.

you don't answer her query. “you're full of questions, aren’t you?” you flip it back on her, opening your locker as she leans off to the side, head resting on the metal, looking at you.

pausing, she contemplates her next words, you don’t feel another question approaching though, wondering if she was upset at your sudden change, even though you meant it light heartedly. “i’m just trying to figure you out. you’re a very… difficult person for me to read.”

closing your locker, onion shoved inside, you look at her on instinct. her eyes catching you, pulling you in, making you drown within them.

“are your eyes a different colour?” the comfortable nature of the constant chatter you two had been having didn't make you need to second guess your words around her, but you should know better than to let your guard down.

the question seems to catch her off-guard, though. for some unknown reason. you already know you’ve blown it.

“it's… it’s the fluorescents.” she defends, staring at you for a couple moments, opening and closing her mouth to say something else but deciding against it, marching away from you, watching her back while she strides down the hallway you two just came from, a jacket clutched in her left hand.

slowly turning back towards your locker, you flop your head on it, metal clanging while you close your eyes. all the progress you had just made with ellie was lost, the hole in you reappearing.

you had cursed yourself by having biology with the girl first, the rest of the day going by at a snail's pace, the people around you becoming white noise.

when the final school bell rang, you made no effort in being quick to go, you had nowhere to be anyways. but when you got to the carpark and saw ellie already there, eyeing you as she leant against her car, talking to dina. you walked quicker. you didn't appreciate the back and forth she was giving you. the car park was at its peak population, and you were solely focused on going home.

tossing your back onto the hood of your car, you open it up to try and find your car keys, digging around for a couple seconds, and that's when you hear it, car tires screeching, really close to you. whipping your head around just in time to see jackson and his black van sliding around the carpark, out of control. right towards you.

everything moved in slow motion as you realised you were going to die.

die in this school, in front of hundreds of kids, being squashed by an out of control vehicle. there was no saving you, jacksons panicked face in the driver's seat being the only thing you saw as he frantically tried to swing his wheel away from you to no avail.

you closed your eyes hard, bracing for impact, heart palpating out of your chest as you can hear it in your head. but impact never came.

instead, somebody had taken hold of you, knocking you down to the concrete. you opened your eyes, ellie williams looking back at you, clutching your waist and looking down at you.

you feel like the wind has been knocked out of you, emotions overflowing. you were supposed to die, and she was all the way on the other side of the car park, so how could she have possibly gotten here in such a short amount of time? and how did the car not hit you? a strange dent made behind ellie on your car, and in the car ahead of you.

wordlessly, she stands up, away from you. jumping over your truck and away from the crowds that are surrounding you. people yelling over one another, crystal declaring she had an ambulance on the way while cat wildly scanned you, grabbing your face and looking around to see if you were okay, telling people to back up, it didn't help. your mind was far away, nowhere near this reality.

you have no time to bury yourself deeper into your thoughts, being whisked away into the back of an ambulance, truck abandoned in the school parking lot while more questions were being thrown at you, lights in your eyes, temperature reader in your ears, you weren't sure how much more you could handle.

but you had a few questions of your own, all of them having to do with the same person, ellie miller.

next

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